by Devney Perry
Gavin’s lights were on. The blinds were open to his office and he was already sitting at his desk, his eyes glued to a computer screen.
Forget the mailbox. I walked across my lawn, crossing the invisible boundary onto his, and marched up to his front door, not letting myself hesitate a second before knocking. I shifted from one foot to the other as his footsteps approached from inside.
When he opened the door, I forced a breathless smile. “Hey.”
“Hey.” His eyebrows came together as he glanced over at my house. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I said too loud. My heart was racing. “It’s good. Great. I was, um . . .” I took a deep breath. “I was just wondering if you’d like to go out to dinner with me. On a date.”
“Oh.” Surprise flashed across his face. “A date?”
“A date.”
“I, uh . . . yeah.” He adjusted his glasses on his face. “I’d like that. But I have to be honest. I’ve noticed your ex’s truck in the driveway. A lot.”
“He’s been working on the yard.”
“I noticed that too. Not exactly what I’m talking about though.”
Damn it. No doubt Gavin had noticed Finn’s truck—and Finn missing from the yard—because he’d been in my bed.
“The truth is, Finn and I were together for a long time. We didn’t exactly end on the best of terms. I think we both had some unfinished feelings to work through. But it’s over now.”
“You’re sure? Because, Molly, I like you. I’ve liked you since the day I moved in next door.”
“Thank you.” A blush crawled up my cheeks. How long had it been since a man had said he liked me? A guy who was kind and sweet. And handsome too.
“But.”
“Uh-oh,” I groaned. “Had to throw that in there, didn’t you?”
“But . . .” Gavin chuckled. “I don’t want to step into the middle of something that’s unfinished.”
“I get that. But it’s finished. For good.”
Saying those words stung, more than they should have. But it was time to move forward, painful or not. It was time to take enough steps forward that I’d stop looking backward.
“Okay.” Gavin grinned. It was a little lopsided and completely cute. “Then I’d love to go to dinner. On a date.”
“Really?” I’d just asked a guy on a date and he’d said yes. I smiled as my confidence soared.
“Really. What day?”
“Good question.” I thought through my schedule. “I don’t have the kids tomorrow. That’s kind of short notice though.”
“I could do tomorrow.”
“Then it’s a date. Seven?”
“Seven.” The phone rang inside and Gavin hooked his thumb over his shoulder. “That’s my first morning conference call.”
“I’ll let you get to it. See you.”
“See you.” His smile stretched wider. “Tomorrow.”
I skipped down the porch steps. The adrenaline rushing through my veins made me want to run over to my house, but I forced my feet to walk.
I have a date.
Poppy was going to be so proud.
I decided to skip the mail. If one of Finn’s letters was in there, it would have to wait. I wasn’t going to let it taint this feeling. Because this morning was about me, not Finn, so I hurried inside and grabbed my things then drove to work.
Poppy was sitting at the counter when I got there, a steaming latte in front of her and a jar with her delicious spinach and onion quiche. “Hey. You’re here early.”
“I was up.” I shrugged, going to the coffee pot. A few tables were occupied by happy customers, so before the morning rush hit, I took the few moments alone with my best friend to talk. “So, I have a date tomorrow.”
She stopped chewing, her eyes blinking twice like she hadn’t heard me right. “A date?”
“Yes. With Gavin.”
A flicker of disappointment hit her eyes, but it was gone fast, vanishing with her wide smile. “I like Gavin.”
“Me too.”
“I’m glad he finally had the guts to ask you out.”
“Actually,” I splashed some cream in my coffee and took it over to the counter, “I asked him out.”
“You did? That’s so . . . bold and modern. I’m impressed.”
“Thanks.” I smiled. “It was time.”
“Yes, it was. I’m happy for you, and in my opinion, it’s exactly what you need.”
I’d come into the restaurant last week to tell Poppy that my fling with Finn was over. I’d expected some disappointment, maybe some shock. Except she hadn’t been surprised because Finn had already told her about the kids finding us in bed. The day it had happened, they’d had one of their lunches together and he’d confessed everything.
It was how she’d heard about the divorce too. Finn seemed to know the conversations I didn’t want to have with Poppy and had them for me.
He saved me from having to cry in front of her.
Crying in front of people, even my best friend, was something I tried my hardest to avoid. My mother had people crying to her all day long. When I was a kid, I remembered her coming home on more than one occasion and saying how happy she was to not have anyone cry to her for a few hours.
Mom loved her job. She loved helping people, but I could see how having everyone else’s burdens and tears unloaded on you would be draining. So I spared her mine. And over the years, it had become a habit.
I’d cried more over the letters this past month than I had in years. It was another reason ending my affair with Finn had been the smart choice.
“So what’s the plan for today?” I asked Poppy after making my own latte.
“Well, I think I’m finally caught up from the celebration. The fridges are stocked again. Dora was a champ and wrapped a ton of silverware last night on her shift. She even deep cleaned the bathrooms.”
“I love her. I wish we weren’t going to lose her so soon.”
“Me too. Stupid college. Stupid dreams.”
I giggled. “Right? Why would she want to go be a successful lawyer when she could keep working here for the rest of her life? It’s selfish really.”
“Completely.” Poppy laughed. “We should ask her if she has any younger friends who want to take her spot.”
“Way ahead of you. She’s already asking around.”
“I should have known.” Poppy went back to her quiche. “You’re always ahead. I’m not actually sure how Finn managed Alcott without you.”
My smile faded. “He figured it out.”
He hadn’t really needed me there, after all.
Poppy’s phone rang and she picked it up, smiling as she answered, “Hi, Dad.”
The joy on her face disappeared two seconds later. The color drained from her cheeks, the light in her blue eyes went out.
Cole.
No. No, the universe wasn’t this cruel. It wouldn’t take one of Poppy’s loves and then steal the other too.
I went around the counter, rushing to her side as David’s voice relayed information rapid-fire. Except it wasn’t Cole’s name I kept hearing through the phone’s speaker.
It was Finn’s.
The world tilted under my feet, and I stumbled sideways, gripping the counter for balance. My free hand dove into my pocket, searching for my phone, but came out empty. My purse. My phone was in my purse.
I kept one hand on the counter as I went around to the other side, dropping to my knees as I dumped out lip gloss and sunglasses and two of Max’s Hot Wheels onto the floor, searching for my phone.
I’d missed three calls from a number I didn’t recognize. There was a voicemail, but before I could listen, Poppy caught my attention.
“Okay, Dad. We’ll be right there.”
“What?” I shot to my feet. “What happened?”
“Finn was in an accident.”
“Any news?” Bridget asked as she came back into the waiting room with a cup of coffee.
I shook my head
, my eyes staring unfocused at the wall across from me. Max was in the chair to my right. Kali my left. We’d been at the hospital for six hours, waiting to hear news about Finn.
The first hour went by in a flash. Poppy and I left the restaurant in a dazed panic. As politely as possible, we asked the customers to get the hell out, taped a sign to the front door, locked everything down and raced in different directions.
Poppy came straight to the hospital where they’d brought Finn.
I went to Alcott to get my kids.
Max and Kali didn’t have a summer camp this week. It was one of the few weeks over summer vacation where they didn’t have anything planned, so they were hanging out with us at work. They preferred going to Alcott, because the loft above Finn’s office was basically play central.
It had a large television and a wide variety of movies the kids enjoyed. There was also an Xbox. When they came with me to the restaurant, they got bored. I gave them easy tasks to help out, and they did love eating there more than at Finn’s, but I couldn’t compete with video games. Even when they had to get up extra early to go in with Finn, they didn’t care. They’d fall asleep on his couch and then wake up to play.
So we’d arranged for them to spend this week at Alcott.
They’d been there for the accident. I hated that.
One of the regular crew members had called in sick, so Finn had asked them to stay inside while he went out to the yard to help load up materials for a job site.
Max and Kali had been in the office while Finn was loading up a bucketful of large landscaping rocks in a skid steer. They heard the shouts when a rock toppled out of the raised bucket and landed in the path of the machine’s wheels. They heard the screams when the loader hit the rock, lurched forward and threw Finn to the ground when the seat belt latch malfunctioned.
Even though everyone hurried to get Finn free of the equipment, his body had been crushed under its front wheels. And Max and Kali watched as the ambulance sped away, their father loaded into the back.
When I arrived, Alcott was in chaos. All of the crew members were in the yard. Five of the men had blood staining their pants.
I took one glance at them and nearly retched, but I pushed it aside to focus on finding my kids.
Most of the people were rushing around, putting things away, but a few were grouped together with shocked and stunned looks on their faces.
Bridget was there, talking with two police officers. Gerry, Finn’s favorite foreman, who’d worked at Alcott since the early years, was on the phone, pacing near the skid steer that was still in the yard.
I didn’t spare any of them more than a glance. I parked, hopped out of the Jeep and ran.
Max and Kali were standing outside, holding one another. Only one man was bothering to help with the kids. I didn’t know him, but apparently he’d been standing by Max and Kali, watching over them until I arrived.
The second they saw me, Kali and Max sprinted my way, tears running down their precious faces.
After a tight hug, I loaded them up and raced across town to the hospital to join Finn’s parents, Poppy, and Cole. He took Kali and Max to the cafeteria while the doctor explained the severity of Finn’s accident.
Then we all sat in the waiting room and . . . waited.
Finn had been stabilized and taken immediately into surgery to repair the damage done to his internal organs. They’d been at it for over five hours.
He had injuries trailing down the right side of his body. Broken arm. Broken ribs. Broken pelvis. Broken leg. From the initial intake assessment, the doctors suspected one, if not both of his lungs had been punctured and his liver lacerated. Half of his body was broken. Had he been tossed one foot in the other direction, the skid steer would have crushed his skull and he would have died instantly.
The chances he still wouldn’t survive this accident were staggering.
After that first hour in the waiting room, time slowed to a near stop. Every second was torture as we sat in a crowded room full of people I didn’t know. Full of people I didn’t want to see.
My hair felt heavy on my neck and shoulders, so I slipped my arms free of the kids and plucked a hair tie from my wrist. It was black. I piled my hair on top of my head, ready to wind it up, but when I stretched the hair tie wide, it broke.
I nearly fell off my chair. No. No, this wasn’t happening. We’d had the worst today. Hadn’t we? This could not get worse. We couldn’t lose Finn.
I took a deep breath, then another. I threw the broken band away and let my hair fall. I wouldn’t tempt fate by trying to put it up again. Then I distracted my thoughts from the worst by studying the people in the room.
Gerry and each of the other foremen from Alcott had come to the hospital, a slew of crew members filtering in after them. Bridget was here too, sitting across from the kids and me, drinking her coffee and grimacing after each sip.
“You don’t need to stay.” It was the nicest way I’d come up with in the last five hours to tell her to leave.
She met my gaze, her own narrowing. “Yes, I do.”
“Why?”
She wasn’t family. She wasn’t a friend here. She was Finn’s employee and I hated her. I hated her blond pixie cut. I hated how she wore tank tops that fit her toned body perfectly. I hated that she made a men’s style of work pant look cute. I was woman enough to admit there’d been jealousy there at one point. She was this tiny ball of muscle with a cute face and a bright smile, and she was at Finn’s side every single day.
But that wasn’t why I hated her. I hated her because she thought it was her duty to judge me. Bridget thought she was above me, better. That despite being on the outside, she knew more about my marriage than me. I hated that Finn had told her about my one-night stand. I hated that he’d trusted her with that information, and she’d used it against me.
The last time I’d been to Alcott, right before the divorce, she’d called me a whore to my face.
I hadn’t seen Bridget since then. She looked exactly the same, though with a few more fine lines on her face. Working in the sun all the time was taking its toll.
“I’m staying. Finn is important to me,” she snapped. “So are his kids.”
My kids.
I clamped my mouth shut and went back to staring at the wall. Nothing good would come from me fighting with Bridget today. Not when I had more important things to worry about.
Like how I was going to survive if Finn didn’t. Or how I was going to keep our children afloat if their father died.
My stomach rolled, saliva filled my mouth, and I swallowed hard, forcing myself not to puke. I had to be strong. For Kali and Max, I couldn’t give in to the dread and doubt that was slowly taking over.
Why was this surgery taking so long? Was it because the doctors were struggling to fix him?
Don’t take him. Please.
The three of us were on a small loveseat. Normally, there’d barely be enough room for Kali, Max and me to fit. But since they were both lying on my lap, their bodies squished to mine as tightly as they could, there was room to spare.
Please don’t take him.
I hadn’t had a chance to pray for Jamie. He’d been stolen from us before we’d had the chance. But for Finn, I prayed. I’d been praying for hours. Praying for a miracle.
“Can I get you anything, Molly?” one of Finn’s employees asked. He was the guy who’d been standing next to the kids. He’d come to the hospital after we’d left, along with a bunch of other guys and the foremen.
“I’m sorry. What is your name?”
“Jeff, ma’am.”
“No, thank you, Jeff.”
Kali had told me after we’d arrived at the hospital that the three calls I’d missed had been from her. Jeff had let her use his phone.
He pointed to the kids, mouthing, “Anything for them?”
I shook my head.
Kali and Max both had their eyes closed. Max was asleep. The emotional stress from the day had worn him do
wn completely. Kali wasn’t though. She looked like she was asleep, but every few minutes, her body tensed.
Each time, I held her closer.
Please don’t take him from us.
In the other corner of the room, David and Rayna sat in chairs closest to the hallway. I’d always thought David looked so young for his age. He was handsome, much like Finn. But today, he looked haggard. The white around his temples was more pronounced. The fear in his heart was seeping through his skin, turning it an ash gray.
Rayna, always beautiful like Poppy, was sitting stoically by his side. Her chin was held high. Her shoulders pinned back like she expected nothing other than her beloved son to come walking out in a few minutes and joke about how he had been wearing his seat belt.
She was trying hard, like I was, to keep the worst hidden. But her eyes betrayed her. They were full of terror because she’d heard the doctor’s warning too.
The chance of Finn surviving so much trauma was slim at best. Five percent. That’s what he’d told us the chance of him surviving surgery was. Five percent.
We were all praying for that five percent. For a miracle.
David had gotten the call first. Bridget had called him after the first responders had arrived and taken over the situation. He’d called Cole, then Poppy, because David knew that after the initial shock faded, after it sunk in, Poppy was going to get hit and hard.
It happened about three hours ago.
We’d all been sitting in the quiet waiting room—the only sounds from people shifting in their chairs and the hospital staff working in the background—when a sob escaped Poppy’s mouth.
She’d broken down, collapsing into Cole as she cried uncontrollably. He’d picked her up and carried her out of the room without a word. They hadn’t been back since.
But I wasn’t worried about her. Cole would take care of her. He’d pull her through this, no matter what happened to Finn.
I didn’t have a Cole to lean on.
Finn was my Cole.
A sharp sting hit my nose. The tears welled. I sniffled and Kali’s body flinched. The arm I had wrapped around her tightened.
Her arms were wound around my thigh and she hugged it even tighter as she whimpered, her shoulders shaking.