by Georgie Lee
It was a long and painful walk upstairs as every few feet another worrying cough racked Richard. Once they reached his room, the footman and Silas helped him into bed while Mary dabbed his sweat-soaked forehead with a damp cloth until the doctor arrived.
Silas and Mary stood together, holding hands, as they anxiously watched the doctor examine Richard. Silas worried if he set sail tomorrow morning that this might be the last time he’d ever see his friend. He didn’t want it to end like this. There was too much he wished to tell him, just like with his father, to thank him for everything he’d done.
After what felt like for ever, the doctor finished his examination and gave Richard a dose of laudanum.
‘What do you think?’ Silas was certain he’d hear that this was the beginning of an end he had no desire to contemplate. He wanted Richard here when the Baltimore Southern launched the new engines built from the English patent and became the dominant force in the railroads in America.
‘It’s quite common in cases like his for patients to have coughing fits of this nature and severity.’ The doctor packed up his medical bag while he spoke. His tone was low and serious, but not as morbid as the doctor who’d examined Silas’s father had been. ‘The laudanum should ease it for now, but in the future they will become worse.’
‘But the blood?’ Mary asked. Silas draped one arm around her shoulders and gave her a comforting squeeze. She leaned in to him, taking as much comfort from him as he did from her.
‘Severe coughing fits can rupture vessels in the lungs. It usually looks worse than it is, but in time the severity of the fits will weaken his lungs and do more damage. When that will happen I cannot say. Consumption varies so much from patient to patient. For some it is years and for others...’ He shrugged, as helpless against the progression of this awful disease as any of them. ‘Either way, he’ll need a great deal of rest to recover from this fit. I can recommend some nurses who can sit with him if you’d like.’
‘No, I’ll do it,’ Mary offered. ‘I tended his sister, Ruth, when she was sick. I know what to do.’ Mary looked at Silas as if she expected him to demand she turn over the care of the man who meant so much of both of them to a hired stranger so the two of them could have a wedding night and leave for England. That wasn’t something Silas was about to do.
‘I think that’s for the best.’
Mary nodded and took the chair beside the bed where she’d sat while they’d waited for the doctor. Richard slept quietly, but there was an eerie wheezing in his lungs as he breathed, as if the moment the laudanum wore off those terrible racking coughs would return.
Silas thanked the doctor and saw him out, mulling over a thousand details as he did. When he returned upstairs he met Mary in the hallway. She’d changed out of her wedding dress and into a plain black one better suited to her duties in the sickroom.
‘Mrs Parker insisted I wear something more practical,’ Mary said.
‘This isn’t how I’d imagined our wedding night happening.’
‘Nor I, but I’m glad we were here when he needed us. What will you do?’
‘I must make sure my family is all right, but I don’t want to leave Richard like this.’ He raked his finger through his hair. He couldn’t leave them to suffer or to rely on the charity of others, yet he didn’t want to leave Richard either. He felt damned no matter what decision he made.
Mary laid a steadying hand on his arm. ‘Go to your family. I’ll stay here to take care of Richard.’
‘He couldn’t ask for a better nurse.’ He wasn’t abandoning Richard, but leaving him in the best hands possible, ones that cared about him as much as he did. ‘If something happens while I’m gone, it gives me great peace to know that you’re with him.’
‘Nothing will happen. He’s sick, but he’s strong. He’ll get through this and be waiting to see the new plans for the engine when you return, we both will.’
He took her in his arms and held her close, the faint scent of rosewater and warmth melding together to make his head spin. He would miss their time alone together tonight and on the ship where they could truly come to know one another but, as he reminded himself, it was only being postponed, not ended. Their time together would be that much sweeter because of the wait.
‘If something changes or he improves, I’ll join you in England,’ she offered.
Silas wasn’t sure why that promise meant so much to him, but it did. If Mary left Richard’s side, it meant that all was well and the predictions Richard had made about his demise weren’t so dire. It was difficult to tell that today. Silas ran his fingers over her gold wedding ring. The idea that there was someone he could rely on to take care of things when duty called him away offered him great comfort. ‘I’ll return as soon as I can.’
* * *
Mary sat beside Richard’s bed reading to him from a small book of poetry, the third one she’d read to him in the three days since he’d fallen ill. The maid cleared away the breakfast tray, Richard having eaten more eggs and toast this morning than he had during the previous ones. It was a good sign, but he was far from well. Mary had been at his bedside almost every moment since his coughing fit, cleaning the blood off his lips and keeping him comfortable. Even when Mrs Parker had relieved her so she could catch a few hours of sleep, she’d slumbered out of exhaustion instead of necessity. The desire to be near Richard the way she’d been near Ruth had forced her out of bed. More than once the sound of his strained breathing had carried her back to Ruth’s small cottage in England and the terror she’d experienced as Ruth’s life had slipped away. Ruth had been the only safety and security Mary had known during the four years since her parents had turned their backs on her, until she’d come to America.
Mary touched her wedding ring, the gold and diamonds warm against her skin. She’d noticed the conflict in Silas’s eyes in the hallway as he’d struggled to decide between seeing to his family and attending to Richard. She’d wanted to hold him here, to convince him to stay beside her out of fear that once he left he might, like Preston, realise he’d made a mistake and walk away. With the marriage unconsummated, an annulment could easily be obtained and she would be as alone again as she’d been after Ruth had passed. It was an irrational fear, but a lack of sleep and worry for Richard continued to feed it. Preston had promised to marry her and then left her at her most vulnerable. Her family had cast her out at the moment when she’d needed them to support her. It made it difficult, with Silas so far away, to maintain faith in the promise of someone she hadn’t known for very long, the solid belief in him that she possessed whenever he was near.
‘Missing your husband?’ Richard chuckled from his bed. He sat propped up against a mound of large pillows, the white pallor of his skin replaced by a much healthier hue today.
‘I’m sorry, my mind wandered. Where was I?’ She tried to return to the poetry, but struggled to see the words in front of her. She’d been thinking about Silas and Richard had guessed. She wanted to speak to Richard about her fears, but she kept silent. He had too many of his own troubles to deal with to take on her unfounded ones.
‘Leave it. I’m in no mood for Shakespeare this morning.’
‘Should I read you the stock pages, then?’
‘No, let’s talk.’ He settled his hands over the white sheets. ‘Why are you here with me instead of on that ship with Silas?’
Mary fingered the edge of the book, turning it over in her hands to admire the fine leather tooling on the cover. ‘We decided it was best if I stayed behind to look after you. It’s a great comfort to Silas to have someone he trusts with you.’
‘I see.’ Richard drew the sash of his dressing gown through his fingers. Outside, a cart rattled by on the street. ‘I hope Silas makes some peace with his family while he’s home, and with himself. He’s never reconciled who he is with who they wanted him to be.’
‘It isn’t an easy thing to reconcile.�
�� She’d never been able to do so with her family, but she’d never been given the opportunity either.
Richard reached over and clasped her hand, his skin much colder than it should have been even with the large fire in the grate warming the room, but his grip was strong and reassuring. ‘I have a feeling Silas needs you more than I do and that you need him, too.’
She was afraid to need him too much or rush to him and find out the hard way that Richard was wrong. ‘When you’re better I’ll join him.’
‘I am better.’
‘Far from it.’
‘I’m not exactly one foot in the grave.’
‘You didn’t see yourself the other morning.’
‘But I see you and how much you need a friend who isn’t bedridden, someone who understands you the way Silas does and can give you hope about life instead of staring death in the face.’ Richard settled into the pillows and coughed. It wasn’t the chest-splitting one from the wedding breakfast, but the slight clearing of his throat that didn’t require a handkerchief. Mary poured him a glass of water, but he waved it away. ‘It would also do him good to have someone from America with him who understands his life here and how happy it makes him so that when the old doubts rush in, the same ones that are torturing you in his absence, he can better face them.’
‘What doubts?’ Silas always seemed so confident, she couldn’t imagine that he was ever unsure about anything the way she was.
‘About who he is and what exactly he should be doing with his life.’
‘He’s a businessman and quite happy.’
‘In the States he is, but in England with all sorts of old ghost surrounding him it won’t always seem so easy.’
Mary studied the wedding ring on her finger, the diamond sparkling in the bright light of the room. The doctor had tried to insist on keeping the curtains closed, but Mary had wanted the sunlight. What Richard was asking was for her to go home and risk facing her past the way Silas was about to do. Although she’d pledged to join Silas before and been ready to board that ship with him, she would be lying if she said she hadn’t been a tiny bit glad that a situation beyond her control had prevented it. She didn’t want Richard sick or suffering, but she had been guiltily relieved to stay behind in the end.
‘Go be with him,’ Richard urged in the face of her hesitation. ‘It’ll give you the chance to really get to know him, to meet his family and understand the demons he’s wrestling with, and maybe face a few of your own. Perhaps then your doubts will leave you and you can help him leave some of his behind, too.’
‘And if his family doesn’t like me or sees me as no better than some of the women they take in?’ He might have said they were charitable, but she had no desire to prod the limits of his proclamation or his family’s good graces. ‘What if I have to face my own family?’
‘I’m not saying London won’t be without its difficulties, but facing your fears instead of hiding from them might make them less formidable.’
Or it might remind her exactly why it was she was in Baltimore. She was creating a life here and while Richard’s suggestion appealed to her rational self, the woman in her who’d ridden away from Foxcomb Hall with tears streaming down her face wanted to leave it all behind. ‘What about you? Silas is counting on me to care for you.’
‘There are plenty of people to take care of me, Mrs Parker specially, and I don’t plan to expire quite yet. Go to England and be with your husband. Don’t let fear of what might happen stop you from enjoying what is happening. You’re a newlywed and should enjoy this time with your husband.’
Mary gripped the leather cover of the poetry book so hard the tooling imprinted on her fingertips. Richard was right. She was so occupied with worrying about what might be that she wasn’t enjoying what was. She was a respectable Baltimore wife with a different future ahead of her than the one she’d spent the last few years imagining. Even if going to England meant running the risk of facing everything she’d left behind, it was a gamble she must take if she wanted to seal in earnest the contract that she and Silas had entered into. She must go to England.
Chapter Seven
Mary gratefully stepped off the gangplank and on to the dry land of England. This crossing had not been as bad as the one she’d endured to get to America, but it’d been as lonely. Mrs Parker had stayed behind in Baltimore, leaving it to the band on Mary’s finger and the change in her last name to shield her from any untoward talk about a woman travelling alone. If anyone had questioned it, they’d said nothing, the ship’s staff catering to her because of her connection to Silas. She’d enjoyed the respect being married had conferred on her and hoped it remained with her while she was in England. She would need it if she encountered her family, who were sure to be anything but bolstering of her no matter what her position.
No, I must not think about that. I must concentrate on reaching Silas.
Mary looked at the mass of people and things on the dock surrounding her, overwhelmed by what to do next. She’d left on a Cunard steamer the day after her conversation with Richard, his man of affairs having been kind enough to arrange the passage for her while she and Mrs Parker had decided which of the new clothes would come with her in the steamer trunk. The old Mary had wanted to bring only the plainest items while Mrs Parker had threatened to burn them if she tried to pack them.
‘You are the wife of a successful businessman, how you dress reflects on him so you must look your best,’ Mrs Parker had insisted with her usual wisdom. ‘I’m sure the daughter of an earl knows how to do that.’
She did, at least she had at one time, so when she’d dressed this morning with the help of a young woman in steerage who’d been glad to accept better accommodations and some wages to serve as Mary’s lady’s maid aboard ship for the two-week passage, she’d chosen a fine travelling dress of deep blue cotton and a smart hat. The young woman had since said goodbye to Mary, throwing herself into the arms of her waiting family who’d cried at the reunion while Mary stood alone with her new trunks and dresses watching them. There was no one here to greet her.
‘Mary?’ Silas’s voice broke through the indistinct chatter of the crowd and the clatter of cargo being loaded and unloaded.
‘Silas? Why aren’t you in London?’ His ship had left four days before hers.
‘We ran into a storm off the coast of Nova Scotia and we were delayed for four days. We just pulled in this morning.’ He waved his hat at the Britannia moored beside her ship. ‘What are you doing here? Why aren’t you with Richard in Baltimore?’
She twisted the leather strap of her small valise, bracing herself for his reaction when she told him. She didn’t relish him chiding her for abandoning their sick friend or for him to think that she’d chased after a man like she’d done four years ago. Except this man was her husband. She had every right to be with him. Mary took a bracing breath of the salty air mixed with the tangy scent of Silas’s bergamot cologne. ‘He’s doing much better since you left, so much so that he insisted I join you. He practically packed me on to the steamer himself. He said you needed me more than he did.’
‘He said that?’ Silas rubbed his chin with his finger and thumb, staring down at the scarred wharf boards while he pondered her words. Mary shifted on her feet, waiting for him to admonish her the way her father used to do whenever she’d dirtied a dress as a child or broken something in the house while she’d played.
She unclenched her grip on her valise when Silas finally looked up at her with the smile she was used to seeing. ‘If Richard insisted you come, and made the arrangements for you to join me, then I have to trust that he is well. I’m glad you’re here.’
‘Are you?’ She shouldn’t be so thrilled about his admission, but she was.
‘Very much so.’ He offered her his arm. ‘Come, let’s catch our train to London.’
* * *
Tibbs, in his usual efficient manner, sa
w to the transportation of their things to the Grand Junction Railway station and the train that would take them to Birmingham. From there, they would pick up the London and Birmingham Railway and make their way to London. The hustle to get something to eat and then board the train was not enough to stop Silas from thinking over the comment Mary had made about Richard. Richard had sent her here because he felt that Silas needed her. It wasn’t like Silas to question Richard’s reasons. He wouldn’t enjoy half the success he did if he had, but this time he wondered. Other than the chance to meet his family, Silas couldn’t imagine what about this trip and him would create a need so large that it required Richard to send Mary across the Atlantic alone, but it no longer mattered. She was here and they were together and they would begin their married life. It wasn’t the magnificent start in Baltimore that he’d imagined, but it was better than nothing.
It was a long exhausting day by the time they reached Birmingham. If they decided to continue on to London it would be very late when they arrived, exhausted and hungry, and with no one at his family’s home expecting them. He didn’t want to wake his mother and sisters in the middle of the night or arrive in darkness to find the Foundation shuttered because of debt and he left with no idea where they had gone.
‘We’ll stay here tonight and continue on to London in the morning. It’ll be good to sleep in a proper bed and have a real meal before we face tomorrow,’ Silas announced as they stood on the platform while people pushed past them to exit and enter the train. As much as Silas wanted to find out what was going on, he’d be better able to deal with it rested and in the light of day. He could tell from the darkness beneath Mary’s eyes and the way her shoulders drooped that she needed the rest. ‘Does this suit you?’
‘It does.’
‘Good. Tibbs, please see to our things. Mary and I will go to the hotel and secure our rooms.’