by Harlow James
I shake my head while glancing in the rearview mirror as I see the moving truck pull in behind me. “Falling in love has made you way too sappy. Where’s my edgy best friend? Where’s the girl that told me she’d never need a man to make her happy?”
“I found a man that brought happiness to my life, a man I wanted rather than needed. And I can’t help but feel that Silas could be both of those men for you.”
“Damn. That’s deep, friend.”
I can hear her laugh. “You’d better go. Get settled. I’ll stop by this weekend to check on you and help you unpack if you need me.”
“Okay, okay. I hope Silas knows what he got himself into telling me to move in.”
“I’m sure he has no fucking clue. But Wes did warn me, he’s a bit of a neat freak, so try not to be too messy.”
“Ugh. This is going to be interesting.”
“Yes, it is. Love you, Chloe. Now go rest and grow my niece or nephew.”
“I’m trying, but this kid is sucking the life out of me.”
“I heard that’s what children do.”
We end our call as I open my car door and step out to survey the street and homes around me. This neighborhood is beautiful and quaint, the perfect place to raise a kid. Maybe Silas’s heart is in the right place and this will work out swimmingly.
“Here goes nothing.” I gently pat my stomach as I speak to my unborn child that is successfully prospering given my fall just yesterday. “Mommy and Daddy are about to live together and I have no idea what is going to happen.”
It’s the day after my sidewalk episode. Silas asked me to pack or direct the movers to pack this morning, and then meet him at his house this afternoon. He offered to pick me up, but I argued that I would need my car, so he allowed me to drive myself, like I need his fucking permission. Still, the fact that he offered is sweet, but I’m sure as hell not going to tell him that.
So I hopped in my car for the last time for who knows how long, leading the moving van full of every last one of my belongings to his house. The crew put my world in boxes faster than I could sing the hokey pokey, and by the time I turned myself around, my apartment—the only place I’ve ever called home since I moved to Santa Barbara at eighteen with Shayla—was empty.
Lifting my purse higher on my shoulder, I lock my car that I pulled into the driveway of Silas’s house, and make my way up to the front door.
And this home—it’s everything I love about the houses in Santa Barbara, a mix of Spanish architecture and modern flare. The tan stucco of the house looks stunning against the bright blue of the sky and the hot pink flowers growing on a vine that is climbing the walls of the house. A short wrought iron fence surrounds a closed-in yard in the front, but continues around the back of the house, only doubled in height. Picturesque windows overlook the quiet street, granting me a glimpse inside his home as I walk through the small gate and up to the massive wooden door with iron bars across the small window at the top.
“Chloe.” Silas opens the door to greet me before I can raise my hand to knock, and the sight of him in casual clothes about unhinges my jaw.
I’ve only really seen Silas in a suit, or the few days in Aruba where he was hanging out in plain t-shirts and chino shorts. But right now, this fine piece of Italian man is wearing a white tank top that is open almost all the way down on the sides, and red mesh shorts that highlight the dick that got us into this mess in the first place. A peek through the side of his shirt grants me the vision of his trimmed chest hair and an eight-pack of abs, glistening in the sweat that is also trailing down his forehead. I instantly want to clean him with my tongue and then dirty him up again.
Guess my sex drive isn’t completely dead.
“Sorry. I just got off the treadmill. I wanted to get my workout done before you arrived.”
“No biggie. I’m glad I didn’t miss the show,” I say as I step through the threshold of his house.
“Show?”
“You. Sweaty. Gym clothes.” I wave my hand up and down his body. “It’s definitely catching my attention.”
He huffs and rolls his eyes, then turns, walking further into the house, forcing me to follow him. “Well, welcome. I have some buffalo wings in the oven for you since it’s close to dinner time and I figured you’d be hungry. I need to take a shower, obviously, but then I can show you around.”
The doorbell rings before I can reply.
“Oh, right. The movers.” Silas runs to open the door again to let them in. “Thanks guys. The bed and dresser can go in the last room on the right of the hallway. The other boxes can go in the room before that.” He turns to me. “That way you can unpack as you need to and won’t have to step around boxes in your room.”
“Okay. That sounds good.” I look around the house, up to the mountainous ceilings and over to the open concept kitchen. There are two hallways, one on each side of the house, a staircase that leads to the second story, and it looks like two living rooms. Out the back slider, I can see a sensational backyard and swimming pool and a small structure that could be a garage. “How many rooms are in this house?”
“Eight.”
“For just you?”
He looks around sheepishly. “Yeah. I just…really liked the house.” For someone who said he avoided relationships, why would he buy such an enormous house that you could raise a gaggle of kids in?
The movers start bringing in my furniture and boxes, and I grow uneasy watching the physical extent of my life being moved around before me. “I…I need some fresh air.” Moving toward the back yard, I reach for the sliding glass door and pull it open, relishing in the cool ocean breeze hitting me the second I break free from the house.
“You okay?” Silas asks as he comes up behind me.
I stare off into the distance, admiring the view of the ocean from his yard. His house sits on a hill like Wes’s, offering breathtaking views of Santa Barbara below and beyond. The sun is falling rapidly in the sky, lighting up our surroundings in an orange and yellow haze. Just being out here is helping to calm me, but the reality is, I’m knee-deep in a lot of change right now and I’m having a hard time processing it all.
“I’m fine.”
“I have three sisters and a grandmother, so I’m pretty sure that when a woman says they’re fine, they’re not really.”
“This is just a lot, Silas.”
He sighs and then reaches out to put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side. The move takes me by surprise, but also makes me feel safe—a feeling that is both welcoming and dangerous.
“I feel the same way, Chloe. Pretty sure neither of us imagined our night in Aruba would transpire to this. But here we are, and I’m not the type of person to run from my mistakes or choices, not that our baby is a mistake,” he speaks quickly and then turns to face me. “I’m sorry, I don’t want you to think our child is a mistake…that’s not what I meant.”
“I get it. It’s okay.”
“I just meant that I’m all in. That’s how I do everything in my life. And I want you to understand that I needed you here to keep me from worrying so much.” His eyes bounce back and forth between mine.
“You’re worried?”
“I’m fucking terrified,” he whispers, bending his knees slightly so his eyes are on the same level as mine. I’m not a short woman, but Silas is a tall and massive man.
Christ, don’t remind me of all the ways he is massive, sub-conscience.
“Of what?”
He’s silent for a moment, but then his brow furrows and he licks his lips, the smallest dart of his tongue that has my eyes tracking the movement. “So much. Too much to explain right now, Chloe. Just…try to relax now that you’re here, okay? Let me care for you. I need to care for you.”
Need? He needs to care for me? Why does that word coming from his mouth have me melting and questioning him at the same time? I never imagined Silas De Luca being this protective, alpha-type man, but I can say I’m definitely not hating it, which
is a dangerous notion in itself.
I roll my eyes to try to lighten the mood because this conversation is growing intense along with my hunger. “Fine. I guess. It might be fun to have you wait on me for a few days. Are you gonna wear one of those French maid outfits?”
It’s his turn to roll his eyes now as he stands up to full height again. “Uh, no.”
I shake my head. “French maid outfit or no deal, Silas.” Crossing my arms over my chest, I do my best to enhance my cleavage, which does the trick I wanted. Silas’s eyes veer down to my breasts that physically ache right now as I touch them, but it’s worth it to see him ogle me. “Or we could get you a man thong in black silk, with the white frilly edges. It’s not the apron, but I actually think I’d prefer that compromise right now.”
“You’re out of your goddamn mind, Chloe Pierce.” He turns away from me and beelines for the house. “I need a shower. Wings should be done now,” he says over his shoulder.
“Aw, come on, Silas. You said you wanted to take care of me. Well, you’re feeding my actual appetite, but my sexual appetite still needs to be appeased as well.”
Continuing to shake his head, he slips through the sliding glass door, leaving me all alone like I initially wanted, but I can’t help but take pride in making the man nervous. I take a seat on one of the loungers around the pool and get as comfortable as I can. My abdomen is tender and my boobs are throbbing. My body is changing—I can feel it. It may not be visible to anyone else, but internally I know what’s happening.
But on the outside, everything is changing too, and it’s all a little overwhelming to say the least.
“What are you doing to me, little bean?” I trace circles around my belly button once I lift my shirt. For a second I imagine him or her floating around in there, doing karate moves or possibly napping, completely unaware of everything life is about to throw at them the second they take their first breath.
I think back to my childhood, to the world I was subjected to—drugs, lack of basic necessities, and then bouncing around from home to home once my parents died. No matter what happens, I will never let that be the life my child experiences. And judging by how seriously Silas is taking this, I bet he has his own reasons for wanting to protect our baby too.
* * *
“Wow. You happy now?” Silas walks into the living room after his shower to find me sitting cross-legged on the couch with an empty plate on my lap while I lick my fingers free of buffalo sauce.
“Extremely.” I pop my pinky finger out of my mouth and then set my plate on the coffee table before lifting my eyes to take in the freshly clean man. His dark wet hair is slicked back on his head, much like the way he styles it normally, and his light grey shirt and black shorts cling to the solid body I know is hiding underneath.
“This is a beautiful table by the way,” I say as I gesture to the coffee table centered between the couch and a few large, cushioned chairs, attempting to push the inappropriate thoughts from my mind.
“Oh. Thank you.”
“It’s so unique. The marble on the top and the grain of the wood.”
“It’s an original piece.”
“Where’d you get it from?” I ask as Silas twists away from me.
“A place close by,” he replies curtly, causing me to second guess my line of questions. I was just trying to offer him a compliment on his furniture, but apparently small talk is asking too much from him right now.
I swallow hard, suddenly parched and in need of washing my hands, so I brace myself to stand up. But when I do, I lose my balance and almost fall over.
“Woah there.” Silas reaches out for me, steadying me before I hit the ground. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just the damn dizziness.”
“Well, this is exactly why you’re supposed to be on bed rest. Did you take your new medication?”
“It’s not filled yet. And the doctor said limited activity, not to tie me down to a bed.”
“Pretty sure she said bed rest,” he argues with a lift of his brow, and I wonder if he’s envisioning strapping me down to his mattress too. “And I can pick up your pills for you tomorrow.”
“Whatever. I need to wash my hands.” I begin to walk, but Silas holds my arm and follows me. “I don’t need you to baby me.”
“I’m not. I’m making sure you make it there and back.”
“Whatever. If it makes you feel better.” Silas releases me once we get to the sink, and I pump the soap in my hands, lathering them up while I wait for the water to heat up. “So what are your plans for the rest of the night?”
“Well, I usually read or answer emails right about now, then spend an hour or two in my shop.”
“Is that what that building is in the back?” I gesture over my shoulder with my thumb.
“Yup.”
“What do you do out there?”
“Just…stuff.”
I eye him from the side as I rinse my hands. “Wow. How boring.”
“I believe we already established I’m not much for fun.”
“You’re solidifying that fact in record time.” I reach for a towel and dry my hands as Silas watches me. “Got anything sweet? All of a sudden I need some sugar.”
He narrows his eyes at me and then smiles, which catches me off-guard, but then moves to his walk-in pantry. The man is so tall he has to duck to fit inside, but when he emerges, he’s holding a rather large container of sour gummy worms.
“Sour gummy worms?”
“I’m going to let you in on something right now, Chloe. I love sour candy—licorice, worms, belts—I love it all, and I’ve never had to share my stash with anyone.”
“Your stash?” I can’t help the lift of my lips as this man grows serious while talking about sour candy.
“Yup. My stash. But, seeing as how you’re the mother of my child, that grants you certain access to accommodations around here.”
The man is speaking as if he’s about to deal me drugs and I need to sign my agreement with him in blood. “Silas, you’re…kinda scaring me.”
“I’m serious about my sour candy, Chloe.” He lifts the lid off the jar and holds it out to me so I can reach inside and grab a few pieces. I swear, he takes a mental tally of how many worms I take and then secures the lid.
His eyes dart to my mouth as I pop one inside, and then I let out an embarrassing moan. “Good God, these are good.”
His triumphant smirk has my thighs clenching together. “These are the best gummy worms in the world. A local shop here in town makes them, and they specifically fulfill an order just for me on a weekly basis.”
“I guess money does get you the good drugs.”
He laughs. “That it does. But I’m warning you, don’t eat all of my candy or we will have a problem. It’s the only roommate rule I ask you to honor.”
I hold up two fingers like a boy scout. “I will try my hardest. Although now you’ve let me taste them and that was your first mistake.”
After a few more moments of small talk, I let out a big yawn. “I guess my body is done for today.”
“Come on. Let’s get you settled then.” He leads me back to my room that I haven’t even seen yet, opening the door and letting me enter first. And the room is stunning.
My bed has been made—not sure when that happened—and my dresser sits up against the wall next to the door. The last bit of daylight as the night claims the sky comes through a bay window with a built in bench underneath it, the perfect little reading spot, even though I’m not much of a reader. There are fresh flowers on the nightstand, and an en-suite bathroom rests beyond one of the open doors, the other leading to a walk-in closet.
“I hope you’ll be comfortable here.”
“Are you kidding? This room is bigger than my apartment,” I say as I turn to face him. He’s leaning against the door jamb, watching me take in my new living arrangements.
“I figured. And there is plenty of space for a bassinet in the corner.” He points
to the spot he’s describing. “But the baby’s room can be next door where your boxes are, that way you’re close.”
“Where’s your room?”
“Upstairs, right above yours. It basically covers the entire span of the top floor on this side of the house.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Is that alright?”
“Yeah. I was just…curious.” Suddenly knowing Silas is sleeping above me is making me wish he were hovering above me in other ways. Looks like I’m busting out the vibrator tonight.
“Alright. Well, I’ll see you in the morning. I’m taking the next two days off to look over you as I promised the doctor, and we have your check up Friday morning. By the time the weekend is over, you should be okay to be alone.”
“I still can’t believe this.” I shake my head and stare back out the window at the quiet street I now live on. But Silas comes up behind me, resting his hand on my shoulder and startling me at the same time, the warmth of his touch making my eyes close responsively once the shock of the moment subsides.
It’s been months since we had sex, but every time he touches me, all it makes me do is relive that night—the command he had over my body, how he made me feel safe enough to give him control. And maybe that can be true in this new path of our lives as well. Will I be able to trust him to not leave me and this baby behind?
He’s doing all the right things, showing me that he’s committed to being a parent alongside me, but what happens if he meets someone that he can actually see himself in a relationship with? I know he said he doesn’t partake in relationships, but surely that could change if the right woman came along, right? Would I have to listen to them screw in the bed above me? Or welcome her into being a part of our child’s life? Would I move out at that point?
“I know. But it’s for the best. This is going to be a wild ride, Chloe, but I think we can handle it.” Silas soothes the skin on my shoulder while my heart races violently, thinking about all of the what ifs.
Spinning to face him, I’m surprised by the warmth in his eyes, the way he stands strong in his words. And just seeing that resolve in him takes away a splinter of the doubt residing in my mind. “Thank you, Silas. For everything. I don’t think I’ve told you that yet.”