The Changing Light at Sandover

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The Changing Light at Sandover Page 8

by James Merrill


  Our chinablue-and-white tearoom

  Shanghaied. A scroll wiped blank. A bone

  Well of cold blood where the wits had been.

  Broad strokes, deliberate,

  Of character unknown—the Scribe’s?

  MYND YOUR WEORK  SIX MOONES REMAIN

  Edict: head eunuch to his slaves—

  Then, bald eye lidded, long sleeves billowing,

  Rapidly from terraced peak upswept.

  DJ massaged his fingers. Fun was fun.

  The pencil in my writing hand had snapped.

  Like something hurt the cup limped forth again.

  Maya: GEE THEY PUT THE WHAMMY ON US

  Maria: JUNTA Stevens: WHERES MY HAT

  E: A DOOR WAS SHUT THE MIRROR WENT BLACK

  We, no less bowled over than used up,

  By mutual accord left it at that.

  (Not quite. Next week we called him and he came,

  But things were not the same.)

  Jung says—or if he doesn’t, all but does—

  That God and the Unconscious are one. Hm.

  The lapse that tides us over, hither, yon;

  Tide that laps us home away from home.

  Onstage, the sudden trap about to yawn—

  Darkness impenetrable, pit wherein

  Two grapplers lock, pale skin and copper skin.

  Impenetrable brilliance, topmost panes

  Catching the sunset, of a house gone black…

  Ephraim, my dear, let’s face it. If I fall

  From a high building, it’s your name I’ll call,

  OK? Now let me go downstairs to pack,

  Begin to close the home away from home—

  Upper story, lower, doublings, triplings,

  Someone not Strato helping with my bags,

  Someone not Kleo coming to dust and water

  Days from now. And when I stroll by ripplings

  A wingèd Lion of gold with open book

  Stands watch above, what vigilance will keep

  Me from one emblematic, imminent,

  Utterly harmless failure of recall.

  Let’s face it: the Unconscious, after all…

  Venise, pavane, nirvana, vice, wrote Proust

  Justly in his day. But in ours? The monumental

  “I” of stone—on top, an adolescent

  And his slain crocodile, both guano-white—

  Each visit stands for less. And from the crest of

  The Accademia Bridge the (is that thunder?)

  Palaces seem empty-lit display

  Rooms for glass companies. Hold still,

  Breathes the canal. But then it stirs,

  Ruining another batch of images.

  A Lido leaden. A whole heavenly city

  Sinking, titanic ego mussel-blue

  Abulge in gleaming nets of nerve, of pressures

  Unregistered by the barometer

  Stuck between Show and Showers. Whose once fabled

  Denizens, Santofior and Guggenheim

  (Historical garbage, in the Marxist phrase)

  Invisibly—to all but their valets

  Still through the dull red mazes caked with slime

  Bearing some scented drivel of undying

  Love and regret—are dying. And high time.

  The wooden bridge, feeling their tread no longer,

  Grumbles: per me va la gente nova.

  Gente nova? A population explosion

  Of the greatest magnitude and brilliance?

  Who are these thousands entering the dark

  Ark of the moment, two by two?

  Hurriedly, as by hazard paired, some pausing

  On the bridge for a last picture. Touching, strange,

  If either is the word, this need of theirs

  To be forever smiling, holding still

  For the other, the companion focusing

  Through tiny frames of anxiousness. There. Come.

  Some have come from admiring, others are hurrying

  To sit out the storm in the presence of Giorgione’s

  Tempesta—on the surface nothing less

  Than earthly life in all its mystery:

  Man, woman, child; a place; shatterproof glass

  Inflicting on it a fleet blur of couples

  Many of whom, by now, have reproduced.

  Who is Giorgione really? Who is Proust?

  ABOVE ME A GREAT PROPHET THRONED ON HIGH

  Said Ephraim of the latter. One sees why.

  Late in his Passion come its instruments

  Thick and fast—bell, flagstone, napkin, fork—

  Through superhuman counterpoint to work

  The body’s resurrection, sense by sense.

  I’ve read Proust for the last time. Looked my fill

  At the Tempesta, timeless in its fashion

  As any grid-epitome of bipeds

  Beeped by a computer into Space.

  Now give me the alerted vacuum

  Of that black gold-earringed baby all in white

  (Maya, Maya, your Félicité?)

  Her father focuses upon. There. Come.

  One more prompt negative. I thanked my stars

  When I lost the Leica at Longchamps. Never again

  To overlook a subject for its image,

  To labor images till they yield a subject—

  Dram of essence from the flowering field.

  No further need henceforth of this

  Receipt (gloom coupleted with artifice)

  For holding still, for being held still. No—

  Besides, I fly tomorrow to New York—

  Never again. Pictures in little pieces

  Torn from me, where lightning strikes the set—

  Gust of sustaining timbers’ creosote

  Pungency the abrupt drench releases—

  Cold hissing white—the old man of the Sea

  Who, clung to now, must truthfully reply—

  Bellying shirt, sheer windbag wrung to high

  Relief, to needle-keen transparency—

  Air and water blown glass-hard—their blind

  Man’s buff with unsurrendering gooseflesh

  Streamlined from conception—crack! boom! flash!—

  Glaze soaking inward as it came to mind

  How anybody’s monster breathing flames

  Vitrified in metamorphosis

  To monstrance clouded then like a blown fuse

  If not a reliquary for St James’

  Vision of life: how Venice, her least stone

  Pure menace at the start, at length became

  A window fiery-mild, whose walked-through frame

  Everything else, at sunset, hinged upon—

  When in the flashing pink-and-golden calm

  Appears a youth, to mount the bridge’s stairs.

  His pack and staff betoken those who come

  From far off, as do sunburnt forehead, hair’s

  Long thicket merman-blond, the sparkling blue

  Gaze which remembrance deep in mine compares

  With one met in some other sphere—but who,

  Where, when? Dumbly I call up settings, names,

  The pilgrim ever nearer, till we two

  Cry out together, Wendell! Uncle James!

  It’s Betsy’s child, whom I last saw—life passes

  In a mirage of claims and counterclaims—

  When he was six or seven. He confesses

  He k
new me only from a photograph

  As any stranger with an eye for faces

  Might have done—faces being (a shy laugh)

  What draw him, and vice versa: why enroll

  In art school when all Europe—! And now half

  Wishes to leave me, having bared the soul

  Of an, I reckon, eighteen year old boy.

  I too more sweetly from a pigeonhole

  Not labeled Uncle coo—ma cosa vuoi?

  If blood means anything, it means we dine

  Together, face the music and enjoy

  Strolling come evening like two genuwine

  Expatriates out of Pound or Hemingway

  Into the notoriously vine-

  Secluded trattoria—no display,

  Just bottomless carafe, and dish on dish

  Produced by magic, and all night to pay.

  Melon with ham, risotto with shellfish,

  Cervello fritto spitting fire at us,

  Black cherries’ pit-deep sweetness, babyish

  Skins glowing from a bowl of ice, nonplus

  My footsore guest, such juicy arguments

  For the dolce vita. Though omnivorous

  He rather looks down on the scene, I sense,

  Or through it—not for nothing are we kin—

  So that at length, returning from the gents’

  To Strega and espresso, I begin

  Offhandedly inquiring, like those Greek

  Hosts who would leave the hero’s origin

  A riddle—only after some antique

  Version of the torture we call red

  Carpet treatment was he made to speak—

  As to the contents of that wave-bleached head.

  Art, he reiterates (a quick proud look),

  Is his vocation. Whereupon, instead

  Of hem and haw, he proffers a sketchbook

  For me to leaf through. Portraits mostly. Page

  By page my pleasure in the pains he took

  Increases. Yet pain, panic and old age

  Afflict his subjects horribly. They lie

  On pillows, peering out as from a cage,

  Feeble or angry, long tooth, beady eye.

  Some few are young, but he has picked ill-knit,

  Mean-mouthed, distrustful ones. When I ask why,

  Why with a rendering so exquisite—?

  “I guess that’s sort of how I see mankind,”

  Says Wendell. “Doomed, sick, selfish, dumb as shit.

  They talk about how decent, how refined—

  All it means is, they can afford somehow

  To watch what’s happening, and not to mind.”

  Our famous human dignity? I-Thou?

  The dirty underwear of overkill.

  Those who’ll survive it were rethought by Mao

  Decades past, as a swarming blue anthill.

  “The self was once,” I put in, “a great, great

  Glory.” And he: “Oh sure. But is it still?

  The representable self, at any rate,

  Ran screaming from the Post-Impressionist

  Catastrophe…” Bill paid, I separate

  The cordial from my restless analyst,

  “We’re really rats, we’re greedy, cruel, unclean,”

  To steer him where a highest, thinnest mist

  Englobes woolgathering in naphthalene,

  “Dumb, frightened—” Boldly from their bower of Nile

  Green plush The Signorino cannot mean

  Us four sharp little eyes declare. We smile

  Because in fact we’re human, and not rats,

  And this is Venice. An Italophile

  Long buried now emerges from me: “That’s

  A good, simple façade. The Renaissance

  Needn’t be judged by its aristocrats,

  Etc.,” till my companion yawns

  And scattered dissonances clang adjourn

  Twelve times in tongues like Ages, Iron or Bronze.

  Well, so we shall. However a wrong turn

  Discovers where the Master of the Ring

  Once dwelt, the same who made Brünnhilde spurn

  Heaven’s own plea, ecstatically cling

  To death-divining love, while the sky-folk

  —Scene I, so help me, first heard Flagstad sing—

  Touched by her tones’ pure torch, go up in smoke.

  And here is La Fenice where the Rake

  Rose from the ashes of the High Baroque;

  And here, the marble quai whence they would take

  Largo by gondola Stravinsky, black

  Drapery snagging sun-spokes in his wake,

  Moons waning in the Muses’ Almanac,

  For burial past—see that far, bobbing light?

  Wendell…? But we parted some time back,

  And only now it dawns—to think I might—

  Too late. One final bêtise to forgive

  Myself, this evening’s crowning oversight:

  Wendell was Ephraim’s representative!

  HE IS AN ANGEL HE HAS DREAMED OF ME

  The point’s not my forgetting—I’m a sieve—

  To tell the boy in all simplicity

  How, as to Composition, few had found

  A cleaner use for power, and so maybe

  Guide Wendell’s theme (this world’s grim truths) around

  To mine (his otherworldly guardian);

  But that our struck acquaintance lit no drowned

  Niche in the blue, blood-warm Palladian

  Sculpture maze we’d surfaced from, which goes

  Evolving Likeness back to the first man,

  Forth to betided lineaments one knows

  Or once did. I lose touch with the sublime.

  Yet in these sunset years hardly propose

  Mending my ways, breaking myself of rhyme

  To speak to multitudes and make it matter.

  Late here could mean, moreover, In Good Time

  Elsewhere; for near turns far, and former latter

  —Syntax reversing her binoculars—

  Now early light sweeps under a pink scatter

  Rug of cloud the solemn, diehard stars.

  Xrays of La Tempesta show this curdling

  Nude arisen, faint as ectoplasm,

  From flowing water which no longer fills

  The eventual foreground. Images that hint

  At meanings we had missed by simply looking.

  That young man in dark rose, leaning on his staff,

  Will be St Theodore, earliest patron

  Of Venice, at ease here after rescuing

  His mother from a dragon—“her beauty such,

  The youth desired to kiss her,” as the quaint

  Byzantine legend puts it. One could daydream

  On and on outstretched beneath this family

  Oak of old stories—Siegfried and his worm

  Slain among rhinestones, the great wordsmith Joyce

  Forging a snake that swallows its own tail…

  Ringed round by fire or water, their women sleep.

  And now St Theodore. Grown up, he will

  Destroy a temple to the Magna Mater,

  And his remains still cause electric storms

  In our day. As for the victim, flood-green, flash-

  Violet coils translated into landscape

  Blocked the cave mouth, till Gabriel himself
<
br />   Condescended to divert the stream

  And free the lady (nude still, and with a child

  Who needs explaining). This will be why the foreground

  Is now a miniature wilderness

  Where the mute hermit slithers to his cleft,

  And why the dragon has been relegated

  To a motif above a distant portal.

  All of which lights up, as scholarship

  Now and then does, a matter hitherto

  Overpainted—the absence from these pages

  Of my own mother. Because of course she’s here

  Throughout, the breath drawn after every line,

  Essential to its making as to mine;

  Here no less in Maya’s prodigality

  Than in Joanna’s fuming—or is she

  The last gasp of my dragon? I think so:

  My mother gave up cigarettes years ago

  (And has been, letters tell, conspicuously

  Alive and kicking in a neighbor’s pool

  All autumn, while singsong voices, taped, unreel,

  Dictating underwater calisthenics).

  The novel would have ended with surveyors

  Sighting and measuring upstream from the falls.

  A dam projected. The pueblo elders

  Have given in, not that they had much choice.

  Next year there’ll be no waterfall, no stream

  Running through Matt and Lucy’s land. They’re lucky,

  A Department man explains. Communities

  Three or four miles West will be submerged.

  On the bright side, it means a power station,

  Light all through the valley. “Light,” he repeats,

  Since the old husband shakes his head. And she:

  “Oh…light!”—falsely effusive, not to belittle

  Any redress so royal, so…Words fail her.

  What did I once think those two would feel?

 

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