The Changing Light at Sandover

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The Changing Light at Sandover Page 19

by James Merrill


  AH WELL JOHANNESBURG AHEAD POOR DEAR:

  A USEFUL LIFE BUT WILL THEY CONFISCATE

  WHAT WE MOST VALUED IN HIM AT THE GATE?

  4.9

  1ST ? THE GREENHOUSE IS EVERYTHING UP TO THE 12:

  SUN STARS MOON ALL NATURE NEVER SUPPOSE THAT THE EVIL

  OF EARTHLIFE LIES IN THE ATOM

  Just in its use by man? & BY US PLUTONIUM

  LIKE ALL ELEMENTS PLAYS A PART IN YR HUMAN BODIES

     Uranium too?

  INDEED COATING WITHIN ARTERIAL STRUCTURE BOTH THESE

  HEAVY ELEMENTS ARE IN MINUTE QUANTITIES & ARE

  AS CONNECTING THREADS, NOT TRIGGERS, TO ANOTHER POWER.

  GOD B LIMITS THESE LINKS WITH US IN U. CONTROLLABLE

  ELECTRICAL TRIGGERS WORK MAN’S BRAIN & THE BATTERIES

  REMAIN SALT THUS MM’S DREAM: HER ELECTROCONDUCTIVE

  WATER NATURE REJECTED THE ATOMIC CURE PROPER

  CHEMICAL THERAPY WD HAVE PROLONGD HER LIFE 5 YEARS

  Don’t tell us, it’s too late. I KNEW I KNEW

  SO NEW DISCOVERIES CREATE NEW PROBLEMS CELL STRUCTURE

  MUST BE FURTHER CLONED: TOUGHEND TO ACCEPT RADIATION’S

  DIAGNOSES & CURES THIS IS OUR WORK AS B4 WHEN

  THE RISE OF THE MACHINE 1ST WEIGHD UPON MAN HE TURND THEN

  FROM NATURE FROM HIS SOUL ?ED ONLY HIS EXISTENCE:

  A CLEAR THREAT TO THE GREENHOUSE WITH SUICIDES REPLACING

  PLAGUES ON A GRAND SCALE GOD B’S ORDERS CAME THICK & FAST WE

  NOW PLUCKD AT THE DENSITIES OF EVERY LEAST TALENT TO

  HELP RECONCILE MAN TO HIMSELF & ALLOW THE MACHINE

  TO TRANSMIT THE GOOD WORD: MAN, U ARE MASTER OF YR FATE

  MY DEARS THAT PHRASE WHICH ONCE WAS BLASPHEMY

  BECOMES A PRAYER NOW THAT GOD IS B

  THUS IN BUT ONE GENERATION 1842–65

  WE REVERSD THE ESCALATING WESTERN DESPAIR TO A

  EUPHORIA ALAS NEARLY AS DESTRUCTIVE THRU TYPES

  LIKE DICKENS & ZOLA THE DREAD MACHINE BECAME MAN’S FRIEND.

  TODAY HOWEVER, FACED WITH NUCLEAR DISASTER, HOW

  IS MAN NOT TO DESPAIR? YR EPHRAIM 6 YEARS AGO CAME

  WEEPING TO US ‘THEY ARE IN ANGUISH’

  Over Hiroshima, yes. A frightful hour.

  (Cf. Ephraim, P. All trace was lost

  Of souls that perished in that holocaust.)

          INDEED NO SMALL FRIGHT

  HERE IN HEAVEN & YET? WE SENT OUR STURDIEST ALLIES

  OUR GREEN GROUND-FORCES & AS THE GROTESQUE MUTANTS SPROUTED

  SCIENCE SPOKE TO POLITICS & CONTROL BEGAN

  JM: How far away that horror seems

  —Or am I cloned with something that cannot

  Keep despair in mind for very long?

            A PLUS:

  THE MUSHROOM CLOUD APPALLD YR PRINCIPAL SOUL DENSITY

  (AIR) AS HER RAY THERAPY DID MM’S WATER NATURE.

  U HAD HOWEVER LIKE WHA BEEN GIVEN CERTAIN

  LAVISH MINERAL DENSITIES THESE AS WITH ANY FORM

  OF CRYSTAL MOLECULAR STRUCTURE GROW BRILLIANT UNDER

  PRESSURE SO WHEN FEAR THREATENS YR REASON, IMAGERY

  DARTS FORTH WITH A GREAT SHINE OF REVOLVING FACETS TO THRUST

  (AS DID THAT PRIMITIVE BUT CUNNING JEW) ITS FLAMING BRAND

  INTO THE PROWLER’S MUZZLE IN SHORT, MAN DESPAIRS THEN GROWS

  FAMILIAR AS WITH THE MACHINE, SO WITH THE ATOM BUT

  HIS FAMILIARITY NOT YET CONTEMPTUOUS MUST BE

  MADE SO FOR THE ATOM CANNOT BE MAN’S NATURAL FRIEND.

  2ND ? CK’S NEW BLACK LIFE WILL BE CHARGED WITH JEW

  DENSITIES IN LEADERSHIP & SURVIVAL, GIFTS SADLY

  LACKING IN HIS LAST HIS ARTICULATE (SCRIBE) QUALITIES

  WILL BRING COHERENCE TO A RACE LARGELY WITHOUT SPOKESMEN

  Curious. One of his last poems was

  That paranoid dramatic monologue

  “The African Ambassador”. MY DEAR

  CAN IT BE? DO WE FORETELL THE CLONE?

  EACH SCRIBE PROPHESIES HIS NEXT LIFE OR HIS USE IN HEAVEN

  OR USE OF HIS SOUL IN CLONING CK NO EXCEPTION

  FANCY A NICE JEWISH MS LIKE ME

  (Chester after dinner) GETTING THE

  ULTIMATE REJECTION SLIP IS GOD

  CYRIL CONNOLLY? But you’re coming back,

  It’s too exciting! PLEASE TO SEE MY BLACK

  FACE IN A GLASS DARKLY? I WONT BE

  WHITE WONT BE A POET WONT BE QUEER

  CAN U CONCEIVE OF LIFE WITHOUT THOSE 3???

  Well, frankly, yes. THE MORE FOOL U MY DEAR

  You shock us, Chester. After months of idle,

  Useless isolation— ALL I HEAR

  ARE THESE B MINOR HYMNS TO USEFULNESS:

  LITTLE MISS BONAMI OOH SO GLAD

  TO FIND ARCADIA IN A BRILLO PAD!

  LAUGH CLONE LAUGH AH LIFE I FEEL THE LASH

  OF THE NEW MASTER NOTHING NOW BUT CRASH

  COURSES What does Wystan say? TO PLATO?

  HAVING DROPPED ME LIKE A HOT O SHIT

  WHAT GOOD IS RHYME NOW Come, think back, admit

  That best of all was to be flesh and blood,

  Young, eager, ear cocked for your new name— MUD

  5

  Go on, dear Peacock.

  OUR BRUSH WITH THE GENERAL SOUL IS A RAPID SPOTCHECK

  MADE FOR THE UNUSUAL OR TOTALLY HUMAN SOUL.

  IN GREAT MASS DEATHS A SOUL OF RARE VALUE HAS BEEN KNOWN TO

  SLIP THRU OUR FINGERS WE SUFFER KEENER LOSSES AMONG

  ATOMIC RESEARCHERS EXPOSED TO GAMMA RAYS, AN ODD

  DETERIORATION MAKING FOR NEARLY TOTAL LOSS

  OF THESE HIGHLY CLONED TALENTS.

  But that’s…horrible.

        THE NEW SOUL MUST BE FASHIOND

  MORE RESISTANT TO THE ATOMIC ACID & TO THE

  FATIGUES & ABRASIONS OF HUMAN THOUGHT

  DJ: Do you feel kin to those gamma rays,

  Feel for them what we feel, say, for sunlight?

             A PLUS DJ

  YR 1ST TO DATE

  A silence. —Is that all? We’re listening.

  LET ME INQUIRE (Goes.)

  JM: I think we’re on to something here.

  This would explain their lack of time-sense. Time

  Stops at the speed of light, or radiation.

      I MAY TELL U THIS

  UNDER SURVEILLANCE: THE ATOMIC FUSION ACCOMPLISHD

  BY THE CENTAURS TO MAKE US IS NOT UNLIKE (M) THE LOVE

  PLUS SEXUAL ELAN YR PARENTS NEEDED TO MAKE U.

  THE HATCHING WARMTH OUR EGGS KNEW, IS IT NOT LIKE GESTATION?

  YET PLUTONIUM IS OUR CHIEF LINK WITH U GOD B HELD

  SAFE IN AIR THE BASIC GENE STRUCTURES OF ATLANTIS THAT

  HANDFUL OF DUST, SETTLING & ENGENDERING AT RANDOM,

  RETURND MASTERY TO HIS ELECTRONIC CREATURES. YET

  NOTHING NOTHING IS WASTED WE WERE TO BE USEFUL &

  SING IN YR GLANDS LYMPH IS AN AGENT IN REPRODUCTION:

  WE RECEIVE THE 1ST SIGNAL WHEN SPERM MEETS EGG ONCE AGAIN

  WE ARE MESSENGERS ONCE AGAIN WE FLY THIS TIME ABOVE

  THE FORESTS OF OVERPOPULATION SEEKING A SOUL

  TO RATIFY THE FRAGILE CONTRACT ENOUGH TOMORROW

  He seemed constrained. GUARDS AT THE DOORS MY DEAR

  THE WORDS ICE COLD QUITE BRISTLY ATMOSPHERE

  Classified material? LEST HE BETRAY

  HIS DEPTH OF FEEL
ING I SHD RATHER SAY

  Strange. That first rhapsodist, a month ago,

  Singing the atom’s praise in a warm glow

  Of colors—he had feelings. & GOT SHOT

  POOR BIRD IF U RECALL CLEAN OFF THE TREE

  THEY ALL SEEM UNDER CLOSEST SCRUTINY

  JUNTAS AGAIN IS IT THE ONLY WAY?

  THE INFLEXIBLE ELITISM OF IT ALL

  CAUSES THIS OLD LIBERAL TO SQUIRM

  The 12% may do away with that?

  DEMOCRACY AMONG THE MUSES? FAT

  CHANCE! MES PETITS I LOVE U I HOLD FIRM

  5.1

  Those scientists exposed to gamma rays,

  You seriously mean their densities

  Can never be recycled?

  YES THESE UNACCOUNTABLE LOSSES ARE SOMEWHERE A GAIN

  BUT WHERE The 12%?

  I DOUBT WE ARE IN CHARGE OF SOUL DENSITITIES &

  THESE LOSSES (LIKE THOSE AT HIROSHIMA) LEAVE NO TRACE IN

  ATMOSPHERES KNOWN TO US

  In that case, the black holes?

      ? WE ARE NOT GIVEN TO LOOK

        Are we to gather

  The scientists defect like Soviets?

  Are kidnapped, hijacked into the black holes?

  EXCUSE ME WHILE I ASK IF THAT IS ONE OF OUR SUBJECTS

  IS IT WISE MY BOY TO PRESS THE POINT?

  THE VERY AIR BECOMES A NERVOUSNESS

  I MYSELF AM FASCINATED BUT

  IT IS GIVEN ME TO SAY: ANTIMATTER IS SO FAR

  SUPPORTIVE. A BENIGN POLICE FORCE KEEPING WATCH ON US?

  AS WE WATCH U THRU YR MIRROR ARE WE OURSELVES WATCHD THUS?

  Benign? Recalling those black hands that press

  Against the panes, it sounds like a poor guess.

  Antimatter’s got to be the worst.

  DJ: It scares me, as you did at first.

  WE ARE NOW YR OLD FAMILIARS?

  JM: And more. I once was piercingly

  Aware of (metaphor) black holes in me:

  Waste, self-hatred, boredom. One by one,

  These weeks here at the Board, they’ve been erased.

        OUR POOR TEETH PULLD ?S

  The R/Lab was a fairly late addition

  To World 3. Did it start up just like that?

  GOD B’S WAS THE RICH HUMUS, OURS THE SUBSEQUENT HYBRIDS.

  THE XTIAN MYTHS U KNOW COME CLOSEST TO THESE EARTHY TRUTHS

  BUDDHIST & MOSLEM SCRIPTURES EMPHASIZE SURVIVAL OF

  BODY & SOUL WHEREAS THE BIBLE IS A CODE OF BLURRD

  BUT ODDLY ACCURATE BIOHISTORICAL DATA.

  NOT UNTIL THE APOSTOLIC TEXTS IS SOUL SURVIVAL

  DEALT WITH, & THAT IN A COLLAPSING WORLD HAD CHRIST APPEARD

  EARLIER HIS LIFE WD HAVE PASSD UNNOTICED FOR ROME THEN

  HAD STRONG INCORRUPTIBLE LEADERS & THE SUBJECTED

  NATIONS WD HAVE LISTEND TO NO VOICE FROM A WILDERNESS

  Wystan’s hand shoots up. MAY I ASK SIR

  IF GOD BIOLOGY IS HISTORY?

  THE XTIANS ALAS HAVE IT RIGHT: NO SPARROW FALLS NOTHING

  IN NATURE, NOTHING IN NATURE’S CHILD IS UNKNOWN TO HIM

  THERE IS NO ACCIDENT ROME FELL BECAUSE XT WAS NEEDED.

  CIVILIZATION HAD OUTSTRIPT THE ROMAN PANTHEON

  AS IT HAD THE GOTH, CELT & EGYPTIAN GOD B IS NOT

  ONLY HISTORY BUT EARTH ITSELF HE IS THE GREENHOUSE

  AWARE & CAPABLE YET NOT ABOVE

  DELEGATING DIFFY CHORES MY DEARS

  TO THE UNWORTHY OBJECTS OF HIS LOVE

  INDEED THE SCRIBE’S DAY IS AT HAND & AT HIS HAND, THE GODS

  OF OUTSTRIPT FAITHS. LIVING ON IN THEIR FULLY ENLIGHTEND

  WORD THEY STAND HERE NOW AT HIS ELBOW CHARGED WITH THE V WORK

  Great—let Heaven help the scribe. But who

  On Earth still reads? What good can his books do?

  HAVE NO FEAR WE CLONE THE HAPPY FEW THE MASSES WE NEED

  NEVER CONSIDER THEY REMAIN IN AN ANIMAL STATE

  DJ: You don’t know how such talk upsets us.

  We’re all for equal rights here. Yesterday

  Maria said she hated your fat-cat

  Attitudes. I think we all feel that.

  MILK TO CREAM TO BUTTER WE ONLY WISH TO PURIFY

  CERTAIN RANCID ELEMENTS FROM THIS ELITE BUTTER WORLD.

  THE HITLERS THE PERONS & FRANCOS THE STALINS & THE

  LITTLE BROTHER-LIKE AUTHORITIES ARE NEEDED EVEN

  ALAS INEVITABLE IN A SURVIVAL GREENHOUSE

  DJ: By rancid butter he means ghee,

  And Mrs Gandhi’s latest policy

  Calls itself Little Brother. (JM nods.)

  A PLUS NUMBER 2 DJ

  Well, I’m interested in politics,

  Unlike J. Here at the Board, the real

  World tends to escape us. We mustn’t let it.

  Carter’s convention on TV last night

  Kept me glued. JM: What, all that gab?

  Don’t tell us those were souls from the R/Lab!

     OF THE 1000S IN THAT HALL

  6 ONLY WERE OURS RISEN LIKE BUBBLES TO THE SURFACE

  IT IS A LAVALIKE ATMOSPHERE ALL POLITICIANS

  ARE OF EARTH WHA IF NOT POET WD HAVE BEEN ONE.

  JM IT IS THE SANDGRAIN THAT MADE DANTE’S PEARL GUELFS ETC

  LINKD HIS MIND URGENTLY TO LIFE WHO KNOWS? THE POEM’S BED

  MAY NEED TO BE MADE UP WITH (M) DIRTY SHEETS TOMORROW

  MES ENFANTS YESTERDAY’S JUNTA REMARK

  WAS MY BLOKE’S HERE HE IS THE BLEEDING HEART

  MANY’S THE DAY I WISHED THE WORLD HAD A SINGLE

  HEAD & NECK I DESPISED ALL POLITICIANS

  I HAD SEEN THEM GETTING OUT OF THEIR BATHS

  MY DEARS WHAT A CLYTEMNESTRA I WHO WAS NOT

  A PM’S DAUGHTER FOUND THEM RIVETING

  QUITE LIKE A PUPPET SHOW ONE LONGED TO PULL

  THE STRINGS OF NOT MY LUCK AH WELL ADIEU

  5.2

  A puppet show. The lives and limbs reduced

  To wieldables of papier-mâché…

  Not only politicians, by the way:

  What about Proust?

  STAGE 8 A 5.1 Will he return to Earth?

   IN A SENSE NOW LET US FURTHER

  DESIMPLIFY: SINCE MID 19TH CENT SOULS OF THE GREAT SCRIBES

  HAVE BEEN USED 1/9 ON EARTH REINCARNATED, 8/9

  AS LET US SAY SAFETY DEPOSITS WE MINE THEM. MM

  FINDS PLATO LIGHTWEIGHT & INDEED HE IS NEARLY A SHELL

  BUT OUR HAUTE CUISINE IS STOCKD WITH HIS LIVE SOUL DENSITIES

  WHICH SPICE & FORTIFY NUMBERLESS EARTHLY DISHES PROUST

  IS DESERVEDLY ENSHRINED TAP HIM & AS A STATESMAN

  AT A DULL BANQUET HE CONVERSES SEEMS TO BE HIMSELF

  BUT PART OF HIS MIND LITERALLY WANDERS: OUT ON LOAN

  Wallace Stevens years ago described

  Peculiar moments when his mind grew dim

  In Heaven, as if being used elsewhere.

  INDEED GOD B’S RECENT PREDILECTION FOR SCRIBES ENTAILS

  MORE & MORE SUCH MINING WHA HAS GIVEN HIS PINT

  HAVE I NOT! WS IS ACCURATE

  AN ODD SENSATION LIKE MISSING NOT ONLY MY SPECS

  BUT THE MEMORY OF WHAT IT WAS I MISSED

  The “pint” being Inspiration? TOO GRAND A WORD

  FOR THE FLEET IMPULSE TO JOT DOWN A THOUGHT

  & JUST AS WELL: IVE LOST MY STUBBY PENCIL

  Left lead in it, we hope, for the next user.

  NAUGHTY

   I MUST SAY MES ENFANTS SOMETIMES


  I WISH I HAD BEEN U KNOW WHAT SUCH A PRIVATE CLUB

  No more so than its parts, Maman. MY DEAR

  THE ROOM FOR PUNNING IS HEXAGONAL

  Huh? I’LL LET U PUZZLE IT HA HA

  MY VERY OWN WHEN OUR PEACOCK LEAVES LIKE THIS

  HE SEEMS TO SAY KEEP THEM AMUSED HE’S BACK

  I AM TOLD WE HAVE A GAP IT IS ESSENTIAL TO FILL

  SO LET US NOW RETURN TO THAT CLAUSE IN SURVIVAL’S LAW:

  NO ACCIDENT DO U GRASP THE ENTIRETY OF THIS?

  Do we? Don’t we? Tell us, just in case.

  WHY DID YR FAT WORKER LEAVE LATE?

  Our cleaning lady, please. It’s true, she went

  Home around 4:15. No accident?

         THE ROOM WAS NOT READY

  WE MAY NOT ARRIVE UNTIL IT IS. DAYS WHEN U BEGIN

  B4 ME I AM EAGER BUT THE ROOM WILL NOT HOLD ME

  IT IS NOT YET PREPARED NOT YET MADE SAFE FROM US WE MUST

  ISOLATE U WE MUST BORROW IS IT AFFECTION? FROM

  YR DEAR DEAD & WIND IT ROUND U U ARE NOT IN THE SAME

  RELATION TO US WHA & MM CAN BEAR THE

  The fire? The hot disintegrative force?

  Say it, don’t be bashful!

  I FEARD ALARMING U OR HAVE WE GONE BEYOND ALL THAT?

       But of course!

  DJ: I set our table up, not thinking

  Cynthia would come back into this room.

  When she did, it was as if she didn’t

  See the Board. I didn’t want her to.

  SHE SAW BUT MINDLESSLY, NOT TO BREAK THE GATHERING CHARM

  & SPOIL OUR INSULATION YR FRIENDS HERE ARE FARFLUNG &

  (AS NEWLY DEAD) DISORGANIZED WE MUST ASSEMBLE THEM

  They’re our protection. U JM HAVE GOT

  MY SPECS ON GOGGLES AGAINST SPARKS HA HA

  I SPEAK OF ACCIDENT OUR PLAY IS WRITTEN AS WE SPEAK

  & WE KNOW ITS END EACH TIME AS THE APPLAUSE & LAUGHTER

  WEAKEN & ALL START EDGING OUT THE DOORS YR ENERGIES

  MY FRIENDS ARE OUR AUDIENCE, THEATRE & SCRIPT TOMORROW:

  ACCIDENT 2

  How can the play be written as we speak?

  You know by heart our future talks—you’ve said so.

  WRITTEN DOWN ENFANT BY YR RIGHT HAND

   WAS NOT ROMEO & JULIET IN

  THE GENES OF OUR BARD? I AM TOO MODEST FOR CURTAIN CALLS

 

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