The Changing Light at Sandover

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The Changing Light at Sandover Page 36

by James Merrill


  Should it be set down on the page as prose?

  NOTHING STRICT A CADENCE BREAKING THRU

  ALWAYS FLEXIBLE (To illustrate,

  The cup does an impromptu figure eight)

  & UNEXPECTED

  Lights, an innocent blue.

  Mich.

  WE ARE UNEXPECTED?

  JM.

  Never, Lord. The Senior Scribe and I

  Have been discussing, how best to convey

  To readers the full verve of what you say,

  There are a few effects I mean to try.

  Would the like you unmeasurable King

  James inflections be perhaps the thing?

  Mich.

  HEAR HIM BROTHERS! IS THAT NOT THE DEAREST OF OUR FATHER’S HOPES?

  MAN USING HIS MOST DELICATE MACHINE, MINING LEAD & PRODUCING QUICKSILVER?

  AH THE MACHINE, SENIOR POET, THE MACHINE, YOUNG SCRIBE, THE MACHINE OF THE MIND DRIVEN BY WORDS TO MINE MEANING:

  MAKE SENSE OF IT

  DJ.

  Does that phrase ring a bell? The school-bell rings.

  The First Lessons: 7

  Mich.

  OUR FATHER LIFTED THE CURSE OF IMMORTALITY FROM HIS NEW CREATURE AND SAID:

  ‘SON MICHAEL, SHEDDER OF LIGHT, REFLECTOR, NOW HELP MAN FORGET’

  AND SO MY THIRD NATURE: SLEEP, THE REPOSE FROM DAYLIGHT TO DAYLIGHT.

  MAN’S SPACE ON EARTH LIES LARGELY WITHIN PATHS WHERE SUN & LACK OF SUN EQUATE HIS HOURS.

  JUST SO HIS LIFESPAN: THE VITAL YEARS, THE MIDDAY YEARS, ARE BALANCED BY YEARS OF CARE AS CHILD & OF REST AS AGED.

  AND SO ANOTHER SET OF TWINS, GABRIEL & I, DIVIDE REPOSE: I THE LIVING, SLEEPING, DREAMING

  Gabr.

  AND I THE REPOSE BETWEEN LIVES. MY FATHER SAID:

  ‘GABRIEL, SEPARATOR, JUDGE, THINKER ON IDEAS, RESTLESS URGER-ON OF MAN’S MIND,

  GIVE MY POOR CHILDREN SUCH A SLEEP THAT, WAKING TO THE LIGHT OF A NEW LIFE, THEY FORGET ITS TOLL & RUSH OUT EAGERLY’

  Emm.

  AND THE WATER BURSTS IN THE WOMB, & DOWN GLIDES GOD’S DARLING.

  THEN GOD SAID: ‘TWIN ELIAS, EMMANUEL, YOU THE CALM ONE, GIVE MY CHILD BALM FOR SORROW’

  & SO THROUGHOUT MAN’S FAREWELLS TO LIFE MY TEARS BATHE THE CLENCHED FACE, FLOW & ASSUAGE.

  Raph.

  THEN MY TURN CAME. ‘O WITTY TWIN (SAID GOD) TAKE BACK YOUR PIECE OF CLAY’

  DUST TO DUST? NO! LIVING TISSUE & MINERALS, STORED IN MAN SINCE HIS CLIMB FROM YOUR OOZY FLOOR, EMMANUEL, THERE BELOW THE SALT.

  THESE ELEMENTS I FOLDED ONCE AGAIN IN MY ARMS. MY TREES WHISPERED:

  SLEEP, CHILD, UNTIL AGAIN YOU COME TO ME, KING OF ALL LIVING THINGS AND LORD OF THE GREENHOUSE, SLEEP.

  Mich.

  SO OUR TWELVE NATURES, SUBLIME & COMMON:

  EARTH, AIR, WATER, FIRE, IN VARIED CONSORT MAKING SIX PAIRS OF TWINS, SET IN YOUR FOUR SEASONS

  Music. Vivaldi’s ‘The Four Seasons’ plays

  Gently through Michael’s closing words of praise.

  O GREEN SPRING EARTH, O WITTY WITH HOPE!

  O BLUE CALM CLEANSING, MUSICAL & RHYTHMIC WATER!

  O LIGHT, IDEAS YELLOWING TO HAZE,

  ASWARM WITH GNATLIKE SELVES ARE YOU THROUGH AUTUMN DAYS!

  AND YOU, RED SOLEMN THOUGHT, O DECIMATOR,

  CHAOS FROZEN INTO ORDER, WINTER!

  But Light from elsewhere lifts the harmony

  To a remote, electrifying key:

  AH MY FOUR SONS

  Mich.

  O FATHER!

  IN OUR SEVENTH HEAVEN YOU GRACE US, WE BOW WITH LOVE!

  FATHER, HAVE WE TOLD THEM WELL?

  YOU HAVE TOLD THEM THE TWELFTH OF IT THEY TAKE YOU IN

  The cup like an eager dog behind a hedge

  He cannot overleap

  Races back, forth, along the Board’s far edge:

  His Master lost by now in bright

  Unthinkables, all pinpoint-far, dream-deep

  Foresight.

  Then Michael’s voice through swarming, rainbow mist:

  GRACED ARE WE, YET HAVE FAR MORE TO SAY

  AND MANY A TRUTH FOR ANOTHER DAY

  —Leaving us stunned. What happened, anyway?

  God Himself grazed our poem in a gust

  Of wonder? Yes, and something like distrust.

  Not of Him, not of Biology…

  But, after all, we bookish people live

  In bondage to those reigning narrative

  Conventions whereby the past two or three

  Hundred years have seen a superhuman

  All-shaping Father dwindle (as in Newman)

  To ghostly, disputable Essence or

  Some shaggy-browed, morality-play bore

  (As in the Prologue to Faust). Today the line

  Drawn is esthetic. One allows divine

  Discourse, if at all, in paraphrase.

  Why should God speak? How humdrum what he says

  Next to His word: out of a black sleeve, lo!

  Sun, Earth and Stars in eloquent dumb show.

  Our human words are weakest, I would urge,

  When He resorts to them. Here on the verge

  Of these objections, one does well to keep

  One’s mouth shut—Wystan, don’t you think? WE WEEP

  *

  A dreadful interval. Last night’s collision,

  Heading home, with a wool-gathering creep.

  No one hurt, but ugly psychic dents.

  Words D and I exchange about expense

  Turn our green mountain to a black plateau

  Still smouldering the next afternoon. ENFANTS

  QUICK WHILE OUR STAR PUPIL PRIMPS IN THE DORM:

  MAMAN HAS BEEN SO LONG A LONER THAT

  SHE CAN’T RECALL THE IDLE HOUSEHOLD SPAT

  BUT WE NEED CALM & LAST NIGHT’S LITTLE SCENE

  UNDID YR OLD BLACK MAMMY

  O I MEAN

  SHE’S TAKEN THE FRONT SEAT OUR TEACHER’S PET

  RUSHED IN AHEAD OF ME & TOOK MY SEAT!

  All smiles, our discord laughable, DJ:

  No little scenes up there, please! Tell us, er,

  About, ah— SHALL WE SAY THE MINISTER

  OF EDUCATION? YES: A RADIANCE

  THEY TURNED THEIR BACKS ON US & SPOKE INTO,

  SNUFFING OUT (AS MM SAID) THEIR SMOKES

  LIKE SO MANY VILLAGE DANDIES WHEN PAPA

  ENTERS THE ROOM I felt they’d been caught boasting!

  AH THEY WERE SIMPLY COWED & NOT WITH FEAR,

  WITH WHAT WD BE TO LOVE (AS WE KNOW LOVE)

  WHAT LOVE IS TO AFFECTION Did you hear

  A voice? THE MUSIC SWELLED WE SAW U WRITE

  THE WORDS & A PURE GLOW ON OUR DEAR HAND

  Slowly, as he goes on, the full amazement

  Seizes us. Reliving yesterday’s

  Lesson, we are humming “Winter” when

  The First Lessons: 8

  Michael and his Brothers quietly enter.

  Mich.

  IT IS ALL APPROVED & WE PROCEED. I AM MY FATHER’S SON MICHAEL.

  WE KNOW THAT EACH LIVING CREATURE LIVES BY SENSES, SOME FEWER, BUT THE HIGHER FORMS HAVE FIVE.

  WE HAVE BROUGHT YOU OUR SCOUTS, THE IMMORTAL FIVE. THEY REPORT TO MY BROTHERS & ME THEIR FINDINGS

  WHICH, WHEN APPROVED & MADE SENSE OF, THESE GENIUS 5 PROCEED WITH.

  NOW WE, MY BROTHERS & I, ARE THE SENSES OF OUR FATHER. RAPHAEL?

  Raph.

  I AM GOD’S HEARING ON EARTH. I HEAR THE FEET, THE MOVEMENTS OF HIS CREATURES, THE SLITH
ER, THE STAMPEDE.

  I SENSE THE BUILDERS OVER BUILDERS. SHAKE! SAYS MY FATHER, AND I DO.

  I HEAR THE CRIES OF TREES CUT, TOO MANY. I HEAR THE LESSENING OF A BREED.

  I LISTEN, MAKE SENSE OF IT, AND REPORT TO MY FATHER.

  Mich.

  HIS TWIN?

  Emm.

  I TOUCHING EARTH, CIRCLING IT, PATTING ITS SHORES,

  RACING WITH NEWS OF THE AVALANCHE, WITHDRAWING WHEN IN DESERT LANDS WE MUST GUARD SPACE FOR MAN’S FUTURE FIELDS,

  I COVER THE WHOLE BALL, REFLECTIVE PALMS UPWARD, FEELING THE ATMOSPHERE.

  I TOUCH, MAKE SENSE OF IT, AND REPORT TO MY FATHER.

  Gabr.

  MY TWIN DUTIES, I THE SELECTOR, ARE TASTE & SMELL.

  I CATCH WHIFFS OF DANGER, AND TASTE THE BITTER & THE SWEET.

  I AM THE COOK OF THE SMOKING STEW OF MANKIND: LESS HERE OF THIS, MORE OF THAT.

  I PILE THESE FINDINGS ON A TRAY, MAKE SENSE OF THEM, AND REPORT TO MY FATHER.

  Mich.

  AND HE, O SHY BROTHER, HOW OFTEN: ‘IT IS NOT DONE’?

  The schoolroom glowers, but the irresistible

  Light of day resumes. As Michael does:

  AND I? I READ, DEAR EMMANUEL, YOUR PALMS, AND I SEARCH & I SEE, AND HAVE A VAST SURFACE TO EXPLORE EACH DAY.

  I MAKE A THEORY OF LIGHT IN THE BRIGHTNESS OF EXPLOSION, AND CHECK TO SEE IF YET THE FEATHERS OF ITS WING CAN SUPPORT THE PIGEON IN MY AIR.

  I LOOK, I READ, MAKE SENSE OF IT, AND REPORT TO MY FATHER.

  JM.

  And God? He takes them in, these capsules made

  Of the whole vast ongoing escalade?

  Mich.

  AND THEN, YOUNG SCRIBE, THE GREAT SENSES OF OUR FATHER BEGIN.

  FOR HE WHO HAS ALL THESE FIVE HAS A SIXTH: INTUITION,

  A SEVENTH: JUDGEMENT (WHICH, O GLORY, HE DEMONSTRATED YESTERDAY)

  AN EIGHTH: COMMAND, & A NINTH: PRONOUNCEMENT,

  AND THEN THE ZEROETH WE DO NOT KNOW

  FOR THIS HE EXERCISES OUTWARD. YES, TURNING OUTWARD HIS MULTIPLE ATTENTION FORTIFIED BY THE GREAT ORCHESTRA OF THE SENSES,

  OUR FATHER SINGS,

  SINGS, ALONE, INTO THE UNIVERSE.

  Pauses as if hearkening. No sound.

  LISTEN! FOR YOU 4 WILL HEAR THAT SONG: YOUR TENTH LESSON (ON THE 9TH WILL BE A JOYOUS CONGRESS OF THE SENSES)

  AND THEN OUR FIRST OF THREE SCHOOL TERMS WILL END.

  DJ.

  Already? It seems only yesterday…

  Mich.

  NOW THIS 8TH HEAVEN OF COMMAND PERMITS YOUR MICHAEL TO, LET US NOT SAY ORDER, RATHER GIVE AN OUTLINE OF OUR V WORK AHEAD:

  YOU WILL ASSEMBLE IN A MOON MONTH AFTER THESE TEN LESSONS. THEN WE MAKE SENSE OF THEM FOR FIVE LESSONS MORE.

  THEN MY SHY BROTHER TAKING THE FRONT DESK (PERMETTEZ MADAME?) WILL GIVE US HIS TEXT TO BALANCE MINE,

  FOR WILL WE NOT HAVE INNOCENTLY EXPOSED OURSELVES TO IDEAS?

  AND HAVE WE NOT AS OUR FATHER COMMANDS, SURVIVED?

  SO NEXT WE DON THE GLAD ARRAY

  OF ALL OUR SENSES TO MEET THE DAY.

  Exeunt.

  WHA.

  ENTRE NOUS MY DEAR HE’S NOT IMPROVING:

  NEXT WE DON OUR SENSES IN GLAD ARRAY

  & MEET HERE AGAIN ON ANOTHER DAY.

  JM.

  That too could stand some work, if I may say so.

  Michael, returning unexpectedly:

  QUARRELING, POETS ?

  JM.

  He— I—that is, we…

  Mich.

  MY VERSE NOT METERED? NOT IN RHYME? THEN PRAY

  MAKE SENSE OF IT YOURSELVES ANOTHER DAY!

  Exit. And only now sunset’s tall dazzle

  Dims from the frosted glass of our doorway.

  O DEAR HE WAS STANDING OUTSIDE! HOW I ADORE HIM!

  ME TOO! ME TOO! YR JADED MAMAN’S TYPE

  Not Gabriel? Good. AH THERE ARE NIGHTS & KNIGHTS,

  BUT YOU 3 FAITHFUL SQUIRES, YR MISTRESS SAYS,

  WILL SERVE UNTIL THE END OF BLISSFUL DAYS.

  DJ: Tomorrow will be twenty-four

  Years to the day since J and I first met.

  JM: Or twenty-five, as any Greek

  Would count them; we’re all one year old at birth.

  THE PARTY’S PLANNED, NO ACCIDENT! A Silver

  Jubilee in England, too. Newsweek

  Says London is a pulsing fairyland

  Of coaches, fireworks, dancing on the green.

  INDEED WHO WD HAVE THOUGHT THAT NO DOUBT STABLE

  BUT O SO DOWDY SCHOOLGIRL WD TURN OUT

  SUCH A SUCCESS? Maman, you knew the Queen?

  Imagine never telling! DON’T MAKE FUN

  THE LIFE MAMAN LED, SHE KNEW EVERYONE

  *

  JM from DJ entering

  our 25th year—

  often distant, ever dear.

  (Diamonds not from Pharaoh’s barge

  but MFJ’s engagement ring—

  sorry they’re so large !)

  —This with a band of chemically blackened

  Silver in which twin baby stones are set

  To balance a small “sun” of gold. Slipped on,

  It is an instant, lifelong amulet.

  JM: I’ve no gift but these lines the years

  Together write upon my face and yours.

  YOU DEAR BOYS AT FIVE & TWENTY

  SURELY HAVE A GRACIOUS PLENTY

  AND WHEN YOU’VE ARRIVED AT FIFTY

  SHOULDN’T LIFE BE TWICE AS NIFTY?

  MY POINT HERE SEEMS TO BE:

  EXPECTANCY! EXPECTANCY!

  Wystan, how very, very…silvery.

  THANK U WE’RE GIVEN LIKE A PAIR OF WAITERS

  THESE ORDERS FOR THIS AFTERNOON’S COMMAND

  PERFORMANCE: SALT. A SPICE OF YR OWN CHOICE.

  A SCENT. ICE IN A BOWL. A CANDLE LIT

  & A LIVE FLOWER. FETCH THESE NOW We do.

  David on the terrace cuts a snow-white,

  Paprika-anthered lily. I meanwhile

  Bring coriander and a bergamot

  Cologne; the rest. That’s it? Then light the candle.

  Sit. WHEE! U ARE WITH US FOR THE FIRST

  TIME IN ALL THESE LESSONS NOT REVERSED.

  WE SMELL U HEAR U & THEY SAY WILL TOUCH

  U ANY MOMENT IT’S A LITTLE MUCH!

  Is this called making sense? & GETTING THRU

  Seventh Heaven, Judgment; Eighth, Command—

  So Michael said. Are we to understand

  Each lesson lifts us to a plane of greater

  Power and light? INDEED AN ELEVATOR

  How can you tell? Does Maman get a shade

  More beautiful, like Beatrice? WE ARE MADE

  AWARE, DEEP IN THE CAVE, OF CRYSTALS PLATO

  NEVER DREAMED OF, BIG FAT SOLITAIRES!

  IT’S NO ILLUSION EPHRAIM HAD IT RIGHT,

  WE’VE TAKEN SENSES ON & IT’S DIVINE

  Had it right for a different order of spirit:

  You, in short. YET IF WE TOUCH AT 9

  IS IT NOT MY DEARS HIS DREAM COME TRUE?

  Ah, you must tell him. He’ll be thrilled. ALAS

  WE MAY NEVER SEE HIM AFTER THIS

  “Pronouncement” sends you back— A LAST LONG SUMMER

  & DIE THE SWANS Never to sing again?

  Just those mute messages flashed vein by vein

  Through mineral and leaf? A COMFORT, NO?

  MAMAN THE LAURA IN YR LAURELS

  I

  MY BOYS INSIST ON BEING YR PET ROCK!

  D
J: Don’t let’s think now of losing you.

  You’ll come with us to Samos? Ephesus?

  LET’S DO BUT WHAT TO WEAR? They won’t take back

  Your senses? INDIAN GIVERS? LET THEM TRY!

  AH MUSIC IT BEGINS MY DEARS MY DEARS !

  The Ascent to Nine

  Music. A single pure white beam one knows

  Floods the mirror room, which undergoes

  Instant changes. Dewy garlands deck

  The staircase. Statue, pictures, candlestick,

  Each is prismatically multiplied.

  The Ouija Board drifts upward on a tide

  Of crystal light—ethereal parquet

  Where guests will presently join WHA

  And MM. (DJ and JM appear

  Twice, outside and in, both ‘there’ and ‘here’.)

  What is the music? STRAUSS I MEAN THEY ARE

  SWEET TO REMEMBER ROSENKAVALIER

  SIDE ONE GO PUT IT ON DEAR BOY I do,

  And hurry back. NOW LINK YR FINGERS YES

  NOW TOUCH EACH OTHER’S FACE KISS We obey.

  (Only yesterday? Twenty-five years?)

  AH YES YES IT BEGINS MY GOD!

  MY MUSIC

  MY MUSIC MY POOR SOUL THAT WAS MY SOUL

  WHERE’S HOFFI? WHERE’S MY TWIN? It’s Strauss himself,

  He’s at the party! THANK YOU FOR MY MUSIC

  ROSEN SIND SIE MEINE BUEBCHEN We

  Are roses—is he mad?

  A second new

  Voice entering the cup: WHAT IS THAT SOUND?

  That’s Rosenkavalier by Richard Strauss

  On the phonograph in Athens, in our house.

  SO I AM HOME Who’s this? THE DWARF KIND SIRS

  ONLY THE DWARF The great scribe Homer? I?

  PERHAPS THEY TELL ME NOTHING THOUGH I LISTEN

  You’re listened to throughout the centuries.

  MAY I HEAR A SMALL POEM? ANYONE’S?

  For Homer’s pleasure, what on Earth to say?

  Luckily Wystan (JM PERMETTEZ?)

  Takes over, and declaims: HOW JOYOUSLY

  WE LITTLER MEN HAVE SAILED YOUR WINEDARK SEA,

  IMMORTAL BARD, YOU WHO CREATED ME!

  A third arrival: WHERE AM I? THIS MUSIC

  I KNOW IT YES! AND MAESTRO, HERE?

  1ST ES

  NICHT EIN TRAUM, LIEBSTE NORWEGERIN?

  (It can’t be Flagstad! YES THEY ALL TROOP IN)

 

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