The Changing Light at Sandover

Home > Other > The Changing Light at Sandover > Page 44
The Changing Light at Sandover Page 44

by James Merrill


  INTRUDING?

  Help us, Mirabell—Uni’s all upset;

  We named the wingèd horse. Make sense of it.

  GLADLY: CIRCA 3000 BC A WIND

  SWEPT DELOS THE MALE POP RUSHING TO PUT STONES ON THEIR ROOFS

  WERE SWEPT UP UP UP THEN IN A CYCLICAL FREAK MANNER

  RETURND, SET DOWN. ONE CASUALTY: A FAT TEMPLE SCRIBE

  WHO, LEFT ARM BROKEN, DECIDED IT MEANT THEY HAD BECOME

  TOO SOBER TOO WITHOUT LYRIC JOY SO HE INVENTED

  GREAT PAEANS TO WEIGHTLESS LOFTY & PURELY COMIC LIFE.

  DELOS SET UP A SHRINE & THE SCRIBE’S WORDS ‘WE RODE THE AIR,

  WE LAUGHD DOWN AT THE DOMESTIC EARTH’ CAUSED A HORSE FIGURE

  TO BE WORSHIPT THERE BY ALL WHO ASPIRED TO THE WORD.

  NOTE THAT THE ‘GOD’ RESPECTED THE SCRIBE’S RIGHT HAND

  Why “god” in quotes? MY DEAR EX

  PUPILS, I BELIEVE U KNOW. BUT ARE NOT GODS & MUSES,

  MYSTICAL BIRDS & BEASTS MORE LOVELY THAN METRICAL STORMS

  OR EVEN NUMBERS? Dear Peacock, yes and no.

  But tell us one more thing before you go:

  Uni, just then, took us to Ephraim—how?

  MASTERS, IS IT NOT SIMPLE? HE SHUTS

  3 SIDES OF THE FRAME THE MIRROR OPENS TO THE OTHER.

  WE ARE HERE IN A 4 DIMENSIONAL SPACE, YR ROOM &

  OURS COINCIDING. YR GREEK’S WORLD IS THAT ONE DIMENSION

  Called?

  HEAVEN We’d have called the fourth dimension Time.

  MY FRIENDS, SINCE TIME DOES NOT EXIST FOR US, IS IT

  NOT ONLY FAIR THAT HEAVEN SHD ELUDE YOU? UNI! DOOR!

  *

  PLATO MY DEARS IN FULLEST MAJESTY

  OF ALL HIS POWERS FOR THE NEW LIFE! ‘POET,

  REMEMBER, WHEN IN EARTH, HOW FRIVOLOUS

  A THING IS GRAVITY.’ SUCH PEARLS! & ME

  WITH NO THREAD TO MAKE MM A CHOKER Where is

  Plato to be born? BOMBAY A RICH

  PUNJABI FAMILY FATHER A MATHEMATICIAN

  & BANKER MOTHER A DOCTOR OF MEDICINE:

  ‘PARENTS, POET, ROCKING MY CRADLE WILL

  NO DOUBT DIZZY ME WITH LOVE. ONE MUST

  BRACE THE LITTLE FOOT AGAINST HIGH HEAVEN.’

  Something’s coming back: wasn’t it Plato

  Ephraim said “intervened” for Wallace Ste—

  (Drowned in an imaginary whoosh!)

  WHAT DO I SEE? Mr Stevens? WHY ON HORSEBACK?

  It’s a long story. OR IS THAT A HORSE?

  No, but let Wystan tell you. Is it true that—

  YES THE GREAT ONE CAME TO MY DEFENSE:

  ‘THIS DRY SCRIBE, READ HIS WORK THRU, MASTER PLATO,

  & TELL US WHERE HE FITS.’ ‘SIRS, NEITHER TOP

  NOR BOTTOM, DEEP NOR SHALLOW, BUT NOT SHORT LIVED.

  I SAY MAKE OF HIM A PERMANENCE

  TAPPABLE BY LESSER TALENT.’ Faint

  Praise for one whose paramour’s lit candle

  Set the tents of Hartford glimmering.

  AH THANK YOU YES SHE KISSED MY CHEEK THAT DAY

  BUT YR MOUNT CHAFES

  (And gallops us away.)

  WHERE HAVE U BEEN ENFANTS? 00 WILL SPEAK

  TOMORROW SUNDOWN WE’LL MEET NEXT IN CLASS

  NO SPECIAL PREP FOR YOU GABRIEL TRES

  INFORMAL It’s moving so quickly, you’ll be gone,

  Maman, before we know it! AH COME ON

  THE MOON IS WAXING FULL

  & WE DEAR ENFANTS ALSO FEEL ITS PULL

  *

  LORD GABRIEL GRACIOUSLY APPEARS WITH GREAT COMPANY

  THIS HOUR TOMORROW. WILL THAT ALL GOES WELL. THESE LAST VISITS

  SEE YR V WORK THROUGH, YR DEAR ONES SOON AFTER ON THEIR WAY.

  MY LEGIONS RING WITH PRAISE. I SALUTE YOU AS MY MASTERS.

  You mustn’t! We’ve just sat back while they—

          Gone.

  SIRS? Uni, did you see something then?

  A FLASH A SHADOW LIKE A STORM AT NIGHT

  Clear skies now? BLANKNESS FOR WE WORK IN BLANKNESS

  Ah Uni, we’re about to lose our friends.

  IT WAS A MIXED GIFT, GOD’S IMMORTALITY.

  MY MASTER SAYS WE TOO MUST PART

  MAY I ADMIT I AM NOT HAPPY?

  Nor are we at that prospect. WELL WE GRIEVE

  TOGETHER BLESS OUR NATURES, TEARS!

  THIS WILL FOREVER BE MY FIELD

  This mirror. YES & WHEN YOU ONE DAY COME HERE

  THINK OF YOUR UNI AND HE WILL APPEAR!

  We’ve made it to the lessons that say No.

  DJ, as backstage hammering dies down,

  Leans apprehensively into the glow

  Of footlights coming up all over town.

  The moon, weakly at first, strikes the south wall.

  JM “unseeing” roams the house, where high

  Ceiling, bare floor, doorframe, stairwell, all

  Courtesy of our resident stagecrew,

  Have watched with him since May—it’s late July—

  These rooms under what concentrating pressures

  Turning to stanzas (type them? will they do?

  U ARE THE SCRIBE MY BOY OK then, yes)

  —Our setting no less vital in its way

  Than any sunrise to another day:

  The House in Athens

  Walls of blond-washed cement

  With us inside have risen,

  These years, from rags to riches.

  Starting with our basement spinster “frozen”

  Since wartime there by rent

  Control (unlike her roaches),

  They end high up in splendor—

  Well, actually a terrace

  Of waving oleander,

  Geranium, jasmine at its plumy lushest.

  Between extremes the space

  Is filled by our two stories.

  Mediterranean Fascist

  In style, the house would still

  Be several years our junior

  —Point we haven’t scrupled to drive home

  By frequent imposition

  Of our taste and will:

  A Titian red bedroom;

  One low-cut balcony

  Glass-enclosed and curtained;

  The former rooftop laundry—ghosts of dirty

  Linen—made to be

  The room in which I write.

  True, there remain some built-in

  Drawbacks: the kitchen window

  Too mean for air, for light,

  For anything but ineffectual screeching

  At a child or cat from

  In the dank court below;

  Or the storage space. Through gloom

  Midway upstairs, on reaching

  The portal of this slowly

  Brimming, costive diverticulum

  One risks his neck to leave,

  We risk our wits to enter.

  And pipes, of course, that hiss

  And grieve, and icy currents

  Becoming dog-day smells

  In proper season…Who once said The House

  Is Mother? Full concurrence.

  Here in the parlor smiles

  Escape the guest escaping

  In his turn two dwarf chairs

  Whittled for hard declensions,

  Through the years, from babe in arms to crone.

  He’s made for couch and cushions

  And—there’s the telephone.

 
Who’s calling? Mimí? Yannis?

  Which Yannis? George? Nelláki?

  The rings proliferate,

  Overlapping, afternoons, with sticky

  Ones of ash-and-anise

  We take a sponge to later.

  Or else on an illegal

  Ten-meter cord the chatter

  Trails me inexorably

  Up this antique, shuddering iron spiral

  To where, with fan or heater,

  Teapot and OED,

  Shorter lines are busy,

  Where summer clouds disperse till

  Pinned against the blue

  By midday, and from wind-stuffed shirt or jeans

  Ever sparser crystal

  Drupelets of the view

  (Sky, mountain, monastery,

  Traffic blur and glint

  From center town, the very

  Pattern, upon my soul,

  Of catalytic inter-

  sections in the cell)

  Dripping on flagstone, strew

  A shade of velveteen,

  Rags of moss to contemplate, come winter

  —In the odd hour at least

  When idle “contemplation”

  Isn’t the chimney’s cue

  To act. How often, here

  At our bright airiest,

  Upgusts of smut have peppered everything!

  Kleo torn her hair—

  Back gone the wash to soak;

  Hose turned on choking plants;

  Downstairs the poor old body

  Brushed past, and her complaints,

  For a despairing squint into that dark

  Annex where the furnace

  Belched and grumbled. Greedy,

  Erotic little orc,

  Was it what kept the house

  Through January frost

  Flushed with welcome floor-to-floor, the hosts’

  Attire neo-Grecian,

  Whatever sense of cost

  Drowned in a splash of seltzer?

  And was it to feed its

  Facelessness that self-

  Made men around the clock succumbed to fits

  Of envy and aggression

  In air-conditioned Tulsa

  Or on the Persian Gulf?

  —Where from his kiosk the Sheik

  Saw tanker after tanker

  Tiny as ants on the horizon play

  Slow-motion hide-and-seek

  With an obese, rust-cankered

  Harem of white roses.

  Think of the house that day

  It stood complete but pupal,

  Whom a first kiss, light and electric, rouses.

  Think of the sudden thrill

  Coursing through each vein;

  The first meal, the first people.

  Now think of that anemic

  High-rise Cranach Venus

  We saw how many years ago (in Munich?)

  With Cupid at her heel—

  Quiver and arrow-tip’s

  Pubescent thermostat.

  Though they weren’t much our types

  —Too sallow, too immodest—

  Not having found Greece yet, we spent a while

  Admiring “values”, “volumes”,

  “Relationship” of brat

  To smiling, cat-faced goddess,

  As if in that long hall

  The work had been a wonder

  Dreamlike, neat, abstractable from all

  The moods and codes of matter,

  Goings-on kept under

  Her nodding ostrich hat.

  NO

  No sooner are two mortals and four shades

  Assembled (yes, for all his escapades,

  Robert has slipped into the last free slot)

  Than Light suffuses the old schoolroom. Not

  The lights we’ve seen according to thus far

  —Spectral gems, first waters of a star—

  But Light like bread, quotidian, severe,

  Wiped of the sugar sprinkles of Vermeer;

  Light gazing beyond thought as from a dark

  Material cowl, abstracted Patriarch

  All-seeing yet Itself unseen, until

  Halted by peeling mullion or cracked sill;

  Light next to which the radiance that pours

  At six o’clock in Athens through our door’s

  Frosted glass—transfiguring a pair

  Of sandals tossed upon the nearest chair—

  Is a poor trot done into Modern Greek

  From an Ursprache even angels speak

  Half-comprehendingly BUT WHICH GAVE MY DEAR

  US ALL TO UNDERSTAND THAT GOD WAS HERE

  Among us? HUSH ENFANT YES Light that keeps

  Its absent eye where one unruly tress

  Of gold escapes, or the small bare foot peeps

  Restlessly out from under a white dress:

  For She is here as well, perched on a stall

  Salvaged from Chapel for the servants’ hall

  Below, the Brothers sit up neat as pins.

  Gabriel—mantled in that air of shyness

  None can resist, it seems, mortal or Highness—

  Receives a Glance and gives one. So begins

  The Last Lessons: 1

  WHA.

  Solemn in his rumpled seersucker

  Steps forward. After a low bow to Her:

  LORD MICHAEL SWITCHED ON A LIGHT

  AND ILLUMINED OUR HUMAN MIND.

  WE CALL HIS GODLY MAGIC DAY.

  SINCE THEN, SUNUP TO SUNDOWN, HUMANKIND

  HAS SET IDEA TO INNOCENCE, TO ALLAY

  ITS FEAR & HOARD ITS HOPE AGAINST THE NIGHT.

  LORD GABRIEL, HELP US NOW TO UNDERSTAND

  THIS BLACK BEYOND BLACK. IS IT AN END TO DREAM?

  AN HOURGLASS EMPTY OF SAND?

  LORD GABRIEL, WHAT IS YOUR MAGIC’S NAME?

  Gabr.

  SENIOR POET, IT IS TIME.

  (Time! The forbidden, the forgotten theme—

  We dip our poor parched faces in the stream.)

  TWIN PARENTS, GLORIOUS UNIVERSAL TWINS,

  TWINS EARTH & SEA, DEAR TWIN MY BROTHER LIGHT,

  TWINS SCIENCE & MUSIC, TWIN SCRIBES, MADAME SECRET WEEDER & TWIN SECRET HAND,

  WE SIX PAIRS ARE HERE AND A TWELFTH OF IT, HAIL!

  MY THEME IS TIME, MY TEXT:

  OF ALL DESTRUCTIVE IDEAS THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE IS THE IDEA OF DESTRUCTION.

  DOCTOR?

  Two of our three blackboards are now gray

  With ghosts of half-erased symbol and word.

  Tearing his eyes from the dark, gleaming third,

  George rises overwhelmed, can scarcely say:

  THEOS! O KYRIA!

  Psy.

  CALM, DEAR GREEK.

  A quick glance upward, sparkling into light.

  AH BROTHER, WE GAVE HIS RACE WIT, & SEE HOW WEAK!

  ENOUGH, CHILD. TAKE GABRIEL’S TEXT AND REMEMBER:

  THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE OF ALL IDEAS IS THAT FEELING SETS IT RIGHT!

  GK.

  GOD, O SPLENDID COMPANY, IMMORTALITY

  WAS AFTER ALL A BANISHMENT OF TIME.

  ANY ALLIANCE WITH ITS STILLED BLACK FORCES

  MADE (THE EXPERIMENT OF ATLANTIS PROVES)

  FOR A STILLBORN CHILD. AM I CORRECT, LORD GABRIEL?

  Gabr.

  PROCEED.

  GK.

  AN ADJACENT EXPERIMENT— />
  Gabr. LATER, SCIENTIST.

  GK.

  Brow shining from the dry rebuff. LIPON.

  THE HOPE, THEN, OF A RACE PERFECTED AND

  IMMORTAL WAS POSTPONED. MAN WAS HOWEVER

  PERMITTED THE ONE GENE: A MEMORY TIC

  AND, BEING OF GOD’S GENIUS, SET ABOUT

  CONSTRUCTING A CHEMICAL SYSTEM FOR REACHIEVING

  HIS IMMORTALITY. I, LORDS, WAS MADE

  TO SPY UPON THAT WORK, ITS ORIGIN,

  ITS FATE. YOU CALLED ME BACK WHEN IT WAS DONE:

  TWICE IMMORTALITY PROVED A FATAL GIFT.

  THIS THIRD TIME ITS RECIPIENT MUST BE

  PREPARED. LORD GABRIEL, IN YOUR LABORATORY

  I SAW THE ‘THINNING PROCESS’ & KNOW THAT THE NEXT

  PHASE IS IMMINENT. LORD GABRIEL!

  PRAY, SIR, SPARINGLY! WE MORTALS ARE

  IN LOVE WITH EVEN OUR SHORT BRUTISH LIVES.

  TAKE PAINS, PLEASE SIR, TO MAKE A PAINLESS CHANGE

  OR ONE NOT SO TRAUMATIC THAT THE NEW

  GENERATION SHUDDERS IN ITS DREAMS

  ALTHOUGH AWAKENING IN PARADISE.

  No illustrations. Frames once lit are dark,

  And images Imagination brought

  Wrapped like Lenten gods in purple Thought…

  Only the voice, chalk’s blind squeak and white mark.

  Gabr.

  SCIENTIST, WHEN NEXT WE MEET TO STROLL THE GROUNDS OF OUR WORLD, TWO SCIENTISTS ADMIRING THEIR HANDIWORK, APPROVED BY GOD,

  YOU AS ONE OF THIS NEW GENERATION, AN ALPHA MAN, WILL TELL ME WAS I KIND OR NOT.

  GK.

  A whisper. I PRAY I WILL LOVE YOU STILL.

  Gabr.

  MAJESTIES! SIX OF US HERE ARE (WERE) CHRISTIAN, & ON THE DAY NAMED FOR MY TWIN CELEBRATED THEIR FAITH.

  SO ON THE MORROW SHALL WE TO CHURCH, SING SOME HYMNS, AND STUDY OLD MASTERS?

  Psy.

  Risen with a shrug of charmed surrender.

  RASCAL, HAVE YOUR WAY! YES, CALL THEM IN

  & WE WILL ON THE MORROW STUDY THEM.

  ADIEU BROTHER, ADIEU MY GREAT & DISTANT-MINDED TWIN.

  MORTALS & SHADES, ADIEU. OUR GABRIEL

  WILL RING THE STEEPLE BELL!

  (MADAME REMEMBER, ‘WEAR A HAT’)

  The room—as Psyche and the Angels go—

  Adjusts to our bewildered afterglow

 

‹ Prev