The barn was visible over the hill, and she spotted him. Her hands had balled into small fists. He finally saw her storming toward him. He turned his back, walking further into the barn. When she reached the entrance his back was still facing her.
“Who do you think you are?” She snapped.
He spun around, “Dammit, Claire. Go home.”
She was surprised by his response. “I’m not leaving until you give me an explanation. You don’t get to give me a night like the other night. Make me fall for you. Change my mind about how I thought relationships are supposed to feel like, and then tell me you don’t want to see me. You don’t get to shut me out. I won’t let you. Not me. I’m not going anywhere. So, please...tell me what’s wrong.”
She waited for his response, but he didn’t say anything. He started walking toward her, she took a few steps back. When he reached her, he cupped her face with his hands, and brought her into the most desperate kiss she had ever felt. The tightness in her chest disappeared, she allowed herself to be consumed by his touch. He pulled her closer by the waist, and continued to kiss her with such passion. He released, and leaned his forehead on hers; his eyes closed.
“What is it? You can talk to me.” She whispered.
He took her face into his hands again, looking down into her eyes, “I’m worried I can’t keep you safe. I think my presence in your life could do you more harm than good.”
“I don’t understand. What’s making you think like this?”
He clenched his jaw, “When I went to the library yesterday, someone vandalized the part that I was repairing. There were words written on the wood directed toward me. Someone was trying to make a point that I needed to stay away from you.”
“What did it say?”
“Bastard and murderer.”
She gasped, and stepped back. “Did you call the police?”
“No. If I did, no one would ever hire me again. If people knew someone was trolling my jobs,” He paused, “no one wants to be associated with that.”
“Why do you think it has to do with me?”
“Because, I’ve been running under the radar for years. People don’t pay any attention to me. They nod, maybe whisper, but then they go about their lives. I spent one night with you, and this happens? It's not a coincidence.”
Claire furrowed her eyebrows, “Are you saying this is my fault?”
“No,” He took her back in his arms. “Not at all. I’m saying Friday night was extremely public. It’s only a matter of time for it to blow up in our faces, and I don’t want that for you.”
She broke out of his arms, “Well that’s not your choice, like I’ve told you before.”
He ran his hand down his face, clearly getting frustrated, “You don’t get it. They broke into the library, deliberately destroyed city property, and that’s pretty docile. What if they do something worse and something happens to you? I couldn’t live with myself.”
“Do you care about me?”
“What? Is that even a question?”
“Then it’s simple.” She touched his stubble on his jaw. “We do this together.”
He sighed, looking down at her, “Claire…”
She put her index finger over his mouth, “Shh. No. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t know if you haven’t noticed, but I’m pretty stubborn when I want something.”
He laughed, “Oh, I’ve noticed.”
“What did you do to the library when you found it like that?”
“I fixed it.”
Her eyes went wide, “In one night?”
“Yep. I got home around three in the morning.”
“No wonder you were so grumpy. You need sleep.”
He started putting away tools, “I was not grumpy.”
“Come with me.” She took his hand, pulling him away from cleaning. She started to lead him out of the barn.
“Where are you dragging me off to now? I’m never going to get any work done when you’re around.”
She laughed, rolling her eyes, “It’s Sunday. You can work tomorrow.”
They started walking back toward his house. She swung his hand back and forth as they walked. He stepped in front of her making her stop, “Where are we going?”
“Stop asking questions.” She tried to walk around him.
He caught her by the waist, spinning her around; her yellow dress flowing around them, making her erupt into a laughing fit. “Put me down!” She squealed.
He finally set her down, “Fine. Fine. Lead the way.”
When they reached his house, he looked over at her confused, “You wanted to take me to my house?”
“No questions.” She walked through the front door, letting go of his hand.
“What are we doing here?”
She grabbed his arm, and pushed him toward the bed by his chest. His legs backed up against the bed. “Claire? What are you doing?”
She pushed him one more time, forcing him to sit. She smiled down at him, loving the way he was trying to read her mind. At first she didn’t really know what she was doing, but she just wanted to be close to him. She mounted his lap, and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You need to rest.”
He laughed, resting his hands on her hips, “I think this is the opposite way of getting me to rest.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I don’t know if you realize this, but you tend to easily turn me on, and the moment you sat down on my lap, I instantly got hard.”
She giggled, “Oh yeah that. I noticed.” She pressed her lips to his, grinding her hips against him.
He sucked in air, as her hips thrusted forward, “You are going to drive me insane.”
“That’s the plan.” She bit his bottom lip.
He rolled her over, pressing himself against her, “At least try to let me control myself.” He ran his fingers from her neck to her shoulder, sending a chill through her.
She stared up at him, “Will you promise me something?”
“Anything.”
“Don’t push me away like you tried to do today.”
“It was the only logical answer I could come up with. I’m sorry.” He kissed her lips.
“I know why you did it, but the thing is you don’t have to.”
“Ok, I promise I will try to not push you away. I can’t promise I won’t start to do it again, because I’m used to secluding myself, but I will try my hardest.”
She smiled, “Thank you.”
They spent the rest of the afternoon in each other's arms. Which was exactly what Claire wanted to do. She hoped he wanted her as much as she felt her need for him. As they laid in his bed and talked, her mind kept going back to the library. She had a sick feeling that she knew exactly who broke in, and she didn’t like the answer.
Chapter Eighteen
Claire
The days drug on when Claire couldn’t see Clay. It had been three days since she had last seen him. He had to catch up on work, and her mom had been pestering her for days about wedding planning. Her mom wanted her to go wedding dress shopping, but Claire refused. The first time she tries on a dress will not be for a wedding that was never going to happen. So, they opted for catering tasting and table cloth colors. Everything about what she was doing felt wrong, except for Clay. She didn’t know how to untangle herself from the lie that she was now living. If Clay found out, she wasn’t sure how he would react.
Claire walked around the store while her mom spoke to the employee that was assigned to them. She ran her fingers through the different table cloths. She always thought it funny that such a simple decision like picking a table cloth makes brides go crazy.
“They’re pulling some swatches for us.” Her mom walked up. “How do you feel about navy?”
“It’s nice.” Claire actually hated navy, but she went along with what her mom liked.
“I think it’ll go well with the suit Jason picked out.”
Claire snapped her head toward her mom, “Jason picked a suit?”<
br />
“Yes. He didn’t tell you?” Her mom fanned through more fabrics. “That’s why I wanted to go dress shopping.”
“No. He didn’t.” Her voice trailed off. She was particularly annoyed with Jason. Did he think that they were going to work things out? After everything, did he really think she could forgive him?
“Have you decided on the guest amount? I was thinking 200 is a well rounded number.”
Claire stared at the back of her mom’s head. Did she really not know that her heart wasn’t in this? She wanted to give her mom the benefit of the doubt, but she was starting to realize her mom didn’t know her at all. Which until a few weeks ago, Claire was pretty sure she didn’t even know herself. She was a trained doll following rules. Sit still, look pretty, smile, don’t ask questions, and never challenge the norm. Those were the rules. Claire was sick of it.
“Claire, honey, did you hear me?”
She snapped out of her day dream, “200 is a lot of people. I’ve always wanted something small, like under 50.”
Her mom burst into laughter, “50? There’s no way we could do 50 people. Your father wants to invite the people from his office, and I have the ladies from my tea luncheons. It’s going to be a big party.”
She was listening to her mom, but all she could hear was what everyone else wanted. No one ever stopped to ask what she wanted. It didn’t matter. Don’t challenge the norm. “Whatever you want, Mom.” Claire forced a smile, and picked up a ring of napkin swatches.
Her mom touched her elbow, “What’s wrong? Something is bothering you.”
“Nothing. I just don’t really want a big wedding.” She set the book down. “I don’t even know if I want a wedding.” She was testing her mom to see how she would react.
“You don’t want a wedding? Are you feeling ok? We’ve been talking about this for months. Now you all of a sudden don’t want a wedding?”
Claire sighed, “You’ve been talking about this for months. I’ve been listening.”
The employee walked up, “We’re ready for you.”
Her mom held up a finger to the employee, “Give us one minute.” She walked up to Claire as the employee dismissed herself. “You’re nervous about change that’s all. I understand it’s scary, but your life isn’t going to change that much.”
Inside Claire was screaming at her mom to understand her, but she knew even if she spelled it out for her, she wouldn’t. “It must be change.” Claire lied. “I’m just nervous that’s all.”
*
Claire and her mom didn’t return home until dark. Her mom had spent all day dragging Claire around town from store to store. They even stopped in a wedding dress store, but she was able to convince her mom that she wasn’t feeling well enough to try on dresses.
When they pulled into the driveway Jason had also just got home. He was getting out of his car next door. Claire watched him as he waited for them to park the car. This time she couldn’t escape him. Claire’s mom parked the car, and Jason started walking across the grass.
“Good evening, Mrs. Cunningham.” Jason smiled at her mom.
Claire rolled her eyes, before they could see her.
“How are you, Jason?” Her mom asked. “You look so nice in your suit.”
It hit Claire that Jason had started his new job this week, and she didn’t even think to check on him.
“I’m good. Getting used to wearing a tie every day.”
“I’m happy it’s going well. I’ll let you kids chat, I’m going inside.” Her mom said to both of them.
Claire walked around the car, “I forgot you started work this week.”
He turned to face her, his face had dropped, “You forget a lot of things these days.” He snapped. It was as if he were two different people from when he was speaking to her mother just moments before.
“I’ve been busy.”
“I know what you’ve been doing.”
Claire glared at him, “And what might that be?”
“Clay Williams? Really, Claire? At least Jenny is a step up from him.”
She had to control her surprise. She wouldn’t let him see that he could get to her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She walked around him.
He grabbed her arm forcing her to stop walking; his grip was strong enough to send a small amount of pain through her arm. “Stop, Jason. You’re hurting me.”
He released her arm, “I have eyes and ears in this city. Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”
“You’re disgusting. You sound like your father.” She snapped.
He laughed, stepping closer to her, “I have no problem sounding like him.”
Claire crossed her arms, “Your father is a crooked lawyer. Do you want to be a crooked one too?” Then out of nowhere Jason slapped Claire across the face. The contact of his hand stung on her skin. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, not understanding what just happened.
“Don’t you ever talk about my father like that again.” He said through his teeth. She didn’t know the man who was standing in front of her. This wasn’t the Jason she knew.
She was afraid to move. She was afraid of what he would do if she ran inside. He was good at telling lies, she was sure he would spin a story that even her mom would believe. She hoped someone would have seen what Jason just did, but her father’s truck blocked any view of them. She stood in front of him, her heart racing; she was frozen in time.
Jason’s anger only heightened her suspicion about the library. “It was you.” She whispered.
“What was me?”
“Did you break into the library last Friday?” Her eyes studied his, waiting for a lie to come out of his mouth.
He laughed smugly, “No it wasn’t me.”
“I don’t believe you. Your mother has a key.”
He stepped closer, “It wasn’t me. It doesn’t mean I didn’t know about it, but my hands are clean.”
“Who are you?” She asked, perplexed from Jason’s actions. “I don’t know you at all.”
“You made a fool of me, Claire. You promised me that we would stay together until the ball…”
“And we will.” She interrupted.
“Shut up!” He balled his fist. “You told me that we would stay together. That our private lives were private, and you pranced around town Friday night with Clay. Do you know how many people texted me that you were at Tenpenny’s? How was I supposed to explain my slutty fiancé?”
She knew there would be repercussions, but not like this. “I’m sorry.”
“Damn right you’re sorry. You won’t be seeing him anymore. I made sure of it.”
Worry crossed her face, “What do you mean?”
“I told your father all about Clay Williams. Just not the version you would tell him.”
She looked back at her house, suddenly feeling sick, “What did you say?”
“It’s simple. Clay Williams is not to be trusted, that he didn’t understand what no means when you turned him down Friday night. That he’s had his eye on you ever since he worked on the fence.”
Claire’s mouth dropped open, “All of that is a lie.”
“It’s for your own good.”
“I hate you.” She closed her eyes, holding back tears. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“Well, you don’t have a choice.”
Her eyes opened, “I always have a choice.” She turned to walk toward her house. He grabbed her arm, she jerked her arm away so fast that it startled him, “Don’t you dare touch me again.”
“Listen to me very carefully. If you walk into that house, and end us now I will make sure Clay Williams life is hell on earth.”
She stared back at him. She knew what he just told her wasn’t just a statement, it was a promise. She hated him for it. “Goodnight, Jason.” She walked toward her front door, and didn’t look back.
When she got inside, she heard her mom in the kitchen preparing dinner. She saw the light in her father’s study was on. She was still
holding back the tears, as she poked her head around the corner. She saw her father sitting at his desk, with a whiskey in his hand; which scared her.
“Claire,” Her mom whispered, making her jump.
She turned to face her mom, “Why are you whispering?”
“Your father isn’t in the best mood. I think you should go upstairs for the night.”
She didn’t want to ask, but she wanted to know, “Why is he upset?”
“Is that you, Claire?” Her father called out. Her mom’s eyes darted toward the study door.
“Yes. I’m here.”
“Will you come here, please?”
She glanced at her mom, who waved her forward. “Coming.” She took slow steps across the living room, and stopped at her father’s study doorway. “Yes?”
He set his glass down, “Where did you go Friday night?”
Claire’s mouth suddenly felt dry. “I was with Jenny.”
“Did you have a run in with Clay Williams?”
She stepped forward, “I don’t know what Jason told you, but he’s lying. It was me who sought Clay out.”
“You did what?” His voice rose, as he stood from his chair. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that,” She paused remembering what Jason said. She couldn’t admit her feelings for Clay yet. She had to figure out how to break things off with Jason for good first. “I’m saying nothing. Jason misheard what happened that night. I ran into Clay by chance, it was nothing.”
Her father picked up his glass, and took a sip, “I think you need to start focusing on next semester. No more hanging out with Jenny or Logan. It’s time to get serious.”
“What? No. Class doesn’t start back for another month and a half. You want me to throw away my entire summer?”
“Do you want to throw away your entire future?” He yelled, slamming his glass down.
“I’m not.”
“That’s what it sounds like to me.”
Claire’s mom walked into the room, “Kevin, you don’t need to yell at her.” She said calmly.
“What if I don’t want to be a lawyer anymore?” Claire admitted. Since her father brought the topic up, she thought now was as good of time as ever. He would never accept the idea of her not following in his footsteps, but she needed to change the topic of conversation.
Under the Oak Tree Page 14