“Me? Oh, no.” She said the words slowly, like admitting them tasted bitter in her mouth. He felt sad at that, unable to believe no other man after him had seen the woman he had.
“I dated on and off for a bit, but no one ever stuck. Maybe it’s me.” She said, laughing at her joke, but he shook his head immediately.
“Speaking from experience, it was him. He’s the idiot.”
She stopped her silly laugh and stared up at him like she was considering something for the first time before she smiled slightly, leaning past him to wave at the bartender.
"May I have a glass of rosé?" She straightened up and looked back up at him, making up her mind. "It's a funny coincidence we would reconnect over wine all these years later. For your daughter's wedding... You never were one to spare any expenses."
He thought about that, wondering about the strange tone she used when she said it. He didn't want to touch on that subject. If they were going to reminisce, couldn't they think back on the good stuff only?
"Maybe not that much of a coincidence," he said softly, almost so quiet she couldn't hear him over the din of the bustling room.
"Maybe," she agreed, picking up her glass of wine. She swirled the liquid around in the glass, and it reminded him of the first time she had wine at that Italian restaurant. She had no idea about anything, trusting him to choose the right one. He hadn't the foggiest clue about wines, then or now. And here she was, the expert on the subject matter.
He never admitted that he knew nothing, though. He never acknowledged any of his faults to her, perhaps that was half the problem. She sipped the wine, sucking in a small breath of air to aerate it and taste the flavors. Seemingly pleased with the option she nodded at the bartender.
Shep hadn't noticed he was still standing there watching them, too caught up in every small gesture she made. Everything she did was like a graceful dance, still able to mesmerize him all these years later.
Being here with her now it felt like thirty years didn't separate the last time they were together. And yet as much as things felt the same, they were so very different.
Chapter 30
2019
“When did you become a wine connoisseur?” He chuckled, needing to break the silence up again.
"After my grandparents died my mom inherited the farm, much to my uncle's surprise. They ended up splitting it, everything was cordial, but my parents kept the fruit side of it - raspberries, strawberries and we added grapes and a few others. We began producing wine a few years later once the full harvest came in. Took us near a decade to perfect everything, but now we're the leading manufacturers of wine in the area. My dad's gone now, so it's on me."
"Well, I'm sorry to hear about your dad. But a winery, that's a great idea. The farm always had all that extra land. I'm glad it's going to good use now."
"And you're still a stockbroker?"
"I am, though I head a broker company now which doesn't leave much time for trading. Mostly I get other guys to do it for me."
"You're doing well too."
"I am."
"Shep Wheeler?" A voice echoed over the loudspeaker drawing his attention, "your table is ready, please come to the hostess station."
Nodding to himself, he held out his arm for her to take, "may I?"
She hesitated for a second before taking it, "still a gentleman," she mused.
"Old dogs rarely learn new tricks."
"You'd be surprised." She smiled as he led the way through the cluster of bodies back toward the hostess. She guided them further into the restaurant and nestled them into a small table tucked back from most of the rowdier guests. She left the menus and explained that the waitress would be there to help them shortly.
“Do you remember that time…”
“I hired a chef to make a menu for us?”
She laughed and nodded, "you always had those tricks up your sleeve. You knew how to make me-" she stopped short, leaving him wondering.
"Make you?" He pried.
"Feel inadequate or maybe … inexperienced. Everything you did was so fancy and elaborate, and I was a simple country girl.”
"Jeremy tried to warn me about that, I didn't understand though. Not back then."
"Now?"
"Now I have years of experience. I can look back at that summer and realize I was a fool. I thought you needed those things to love me, I didn't understand that's not what love was about."
"It's how you were raised; I understand that now. Gestures were your way of showing affection, and all I wanted was words."
He nodded, feeling humble as he reflected soberly on those last few days. If only a younger Shep knew what he did now.
"I'm sorry," he began, setting his hand on the table in a gesture of sincerity, "I'm sorry for hurting you like I did and-"
"It wasn't you, I pushed you away at the end. We were never good at communicating."
"Arguing, maybe, but yeah, communication didn't come easily."
"We were too young. I was barely out of childhood, and you had never tried having a serious relationship. We were bound to make mistakes."
"Maybe, but I can still regret how things played out."
"They happened the way they did for a reason, you met Elle."
"Yes, and she gave me two amazing - although stubborn - children."
"Well, look at who their father is," she teased with a smile before nodding, "yes, and my life might've been different if I had stayed, but I am happy with who I am."
"And are you happy in general?" He asked.
She seemed to pause for a moment as she thought about it before nodding slowly, "yeah, I am." She began to speak again when the waitress appeared, quickly silencing her and Shep silently cursed the girl's timing.
"Good evening, my name is Rebecca, I'll be your server. Tonight's specials are…" She began her spiel but lost Shep quickly as he stared at Honey imagining what their life might have been like if they had made up that night. If he had been willing to learn and grow from his youthful arrogance.
"I like the sound of the Chef's Tasting Menu if you'd like to join me?" Shep blinked in surprise and realized that he had missed everything that had been said. The waitress was gone, and Honey was staring at him with a funny expression.
"Sure, anything you want. It's on me."
"I'm happy to split it," she protested.
"I insist." He said with finality. Honey nodded, looking like she wasn't surprised at all before she finally looked away from him.
"I wasn't sure I wanted to come. When I saw your name, and the email, I immediately thought to myself 'don't do it.' But then I realized a part of me wanted to come, even if a larger, louder part of me that wanted to stay far away. All day I've been thinking about us and what happened, what might've been…" She sighed, her eyes - now a deeper shade of blue thanks to the dim lighting - turned on him and held him captive. "But my son insisted I come. The whole thing was his idea."
"Son?" He asked before shaking his head quickly, he wanted to know more but what right did he have to pry into her life? Picking up his highball, he sipped from it before reluctantly changing the subject.
"I first picked your website because I saw you were based in Pleasant Lake. I guess a part of me still feels drawn to it after all these years. Then, after looking at all the photos, I also spent the day reminiscing. Actually, my son asked about it. So I was telling him the story. Did you tell your son?”
"Yes. But, well, it's a bit more complicated than that." She said, taking a deep breath like she was steeling herself for a battle. "My son is, well, he's your son too."
Shep felt his blood run cold and his entire body froze in a state of deciding between fight or flight. He blinked a few times to reassure her he was still alive, but otherwise, he barely moved.
"My… son?" He finally managed to speak, swallowing away the lump in his throat that only lodged itself in his chest. He grabbed his drink and took a healthy gulp hoping to clear it away, but the tightness just seemed to
spread across his whole body.
"Yes, he's yours, Shep." She said with a sigh, "I think that's why I was so touchy those last few weeks together. All those new hormones and no idea what was going on, instead I took every frustration out on you and like I said earlier… Communication wasn't our strong suit."
"When you left, you knew?"
"No! Oh god, no. Honestly, I swear I didn't. When I left, I felt so overwhelmed and exhausted, I didn't know anything other than the fact I wasn't happy, and it didn't seem like we were getting anywhere. I felt like it was the end, so I left."
"Right," he said slowly, his mind spinning, and a flurry of different feelings rushed him.
Angry, first of all, reared its ugly head but gave way to sadness and disappointment. His children, despite his flaws as a parent, were everything to him. If he had another child, he would've wanted to be a part of his life. Be there for him even if he was no longer with Honey.
"I found out maybe a month after I got back, everything seemed to make sense. And I felt stupid, and childish, for having run in the first place. It took me a few more weeks to swallow my pride and go back to the city to see you. By that time, though, I saw you with Elle, and you looked happy. Hell, you were already engaged, and I was heartbroken."
The anger still bubbled under the surface, but as she spoke, he felt it recede. This was, partially, his fault. He had left that night and never looked back. He hadn't even tried after she told him she didn't want to speak to him at her parents. He could've returned a few days later, fought a little harder, but he had given up and moved on.
Could he blame her for seeing him like that and deciding she didn't want to interfere? No. Because he probably would've done the same in her position.
Still, he wanted to reassure her. Or maybe more himself, so he began to speak, "I would've…" Pausing immediately, sure that the end of his protest was that he would've left Elle for her. But would he have? God, he didn't know.
"No, I would have never asked you to do that."
"I would've helped you at least, I would've never expected you to do it all alone."
"I know, but I don't think I could've stood that and, in the end, it would've only complicated things for us further. I made the best decision for what I thought would make all of us happiest and like you said - she gave you thirty years and two children. You gave me Nathaniel, and he has made me happy."
"Nathaniel," he said, trying it out, amazement coursing through him now as reality dawned. He had three kids, his kids had a brother… It was unbelievable.
"And he's?"
"He's doing good, he's married… He has two kids."
"I'm a grandfather?" He said in shock, beginning now to feel overwhelmed.
Honey laughed, "yeah you are, Shep Wheeler."
Chapter 31
2019
"So, did you tell him you were meeting me tonight?"
"I did, I explained everything to him. Ultimately, it was what he said to me that made me come tonight. As much for me as for him. He would like to meet you if that's something you would be open to."
"Of course," there wasn’t a moment of hesitation as he agreed. Honey smiled and nodded her head, glancing away as the waitress reappeared. She ordered the tasting menu, and the waitress left again.
"I have a thousand questions," he said finally, drawing his chair in closer to the table and subconsciously closer to her.
"Okay," she agreed, and they fell into a comfortable conversation filling in the gaps in their history.
She told him all about Nathaniel and his childhood stories. She had the foresight of bringing photos, showing him highlights of his son's childhood. He had joined the army like him, had been deployed at one point but now was back and worked at a base not far from the city. He helped part-time with the wine business, but while Honey was still able, he let her do things her way.
When she answered all of his questions, it was her turn to ask about his kids. He told her all about Adam and Holly, pride shining through on every word. She felt a temporary sadness in knowing that he would've made a good father for Nathan. But thankfully, good fathers also made excellent grandfathers.
When they were out of things to catch up on, they reminisced and talked about the past. They told their sides of the story and cleared up all those missing links that completed the fractured picture. By the time dessert came to the table, they were both full. Content on food and company.
When it came time to leave, they hovered outside of the restaurant both waiting for the valet and uncertain what to do next. This wasn't a date; it was a business meeting between two exes and yet... Shep wanted to see her again.
"Maybe, I could come to the winery later this week and see your process? Try a few of the wines before we finish the order for Holly's wedding?" Gone was the confident bravado of Shep Wheeler. The uncertainty and nerves in his voice made Honey smile.
The valet pulled up with her car as she turned to face him, "sure, I think we could arrange something. Maybe even go to Chez Francois' for old time's sake."
"Like a date?" His heart raced a little at the word, the impossibility of the realization he might just get a second chance with Honey Halliwell all these years later made him feel unusually giddy.
"Yes, like a date. If you're interested."
"I would love that." He walked her around to her side of the car, holding the door open for her as she slipped in. Her hand touched his arm as she climbed in and she smiled at him.
"It was really nice seeing you again, Shep."
"You too." He leaned in to kiss her cheek as she did the same, their lips brushing lightly against one another. If his heart was racing before it was soaring now, and chaste as the kiss was, it made him feel like a young man again when he pulled back.
They apologized at the same time, both laughing it off but the look in her eyes made him wonder if she felt the same.
Over the next few weeks Shep spent as much time as he could with Honey and he had more fun, he regretted to admit, than he did in thirty years with Elle. It wasn't that his first wife was boring, not by a mile, but she wasn't Honey.
His Honey.
His kids noticed the difference in his demeanor. He was less surly and sour, picked fights less and smiled more. He looked forward to things once again, and his life was no longer work and sleep.
He was looking forward to the upcoming wedding of his daughter, asked her more questions and took an interest in what was going on in both hers and Adam's life. Of course, he always related these details back to Honey when he saw her.
As Holly's wedding drew closer one thing was prominent on Shep's mind. The seriousness of his own relationship and what its future looked like. This - according to Honey - was what drove her away at the end of their summer romance.
She feared he wasn't as serious about them as she was, that living together was the last and only step he would take toward happily ever after.
On their second date, she confided to him she had wanted to get engaged, and he told in her that he planned to propose. Both felt foolish, regretful, and wistful all at the same time.
Youth had a way of making everything seem now or never, speckled with actions that had dire consequences after moments passed. What happened between them always played out differently in their thoughts. He saw one thing, and she saw another; their visions were the same but the path getting there was so different it drove them apart.
He couldn't hold it against her that she had gone on to have his child without him nor that she'd never tried again to tell him about Nathaniel other than the one time she returned to the city.
He couldn't imagine the kind of strength she had to possess to become a single mother at 18, living in a small community where opinions about what was right abounded. She did what she thought was best and that was all he could ask for. As long as his son had been healthy and well cared for - which, according to Honey, he was, that was all that mattered.
"I think the kids should meet," they were st
rolling through the park enjoying ice cream together when he voiced his thoughts. Honey stopped in her tracks, and he tensed, worried for a moment that maybe this was not how she saw them going.
But when she looked at him, that smile of hers made his fifty-three-year-old stomach feel like it was twenty-three again and full of butterflies.
"I was thinking the same thing, of course with how busy Holly is, I didn't want to impose."
"I don't think it's an imposition. She's been dropping hints - I think. It's hard to tell with her these days." He smiled and licked his cone again, enjoying the butter pecan flavor on his tongue.
"Nathan's been asking too. Well, so have his kids, they adore the idea of another grandfather. But baby steps, I think, is the best course of action. Let the adults meet and gradually introduce everyone."
Shep nodded in agreement, "yes, though Holly and Adam both like the sounds of being an aunt and uncle. I didn't tell you, but they already have gifts for the kids when they meet."
Honey laughed in delight and reached up, cupping his face tenderly, "it still seems surreal."
"It does," he agreed, "but like it was meant to be." He leaned in and kissed her, the taste of his own ice cream mingling with her strawberry flavored lips.
They had kissed before this moment, gentle goodnight kisses when he dropped her off or a quick peck when they met up. This, however, was the first kiss that spoke of his intentions and desires.
Two years out of practice, but Shep had no time for self-doubt as his lips moved against hers and their bodies stepped instinctively closer. Each conscious of their cones, they wrapped each other up in the best possible way and fell headlong into one another.
He didn't need to be twenty-three to feel young again. Love alone could do that.
When they pulled away, both were flushed but smiling. There was no need to be embarrassed about showing affection, love had no age limit. Shep took Honey's hand once more, and they resumed walking heading down another slow, winding path amongst the trees.
Last Chance Page 13