by Portia Moore
“That means you like it?” She chuckles. I nod. “I hope this wasn’t too much of an inconvenience?” I ask, still taking everything in.
“Well, this used to be my craft room. Whenever I do crafts, I typically end up in the living room or at the kitchen table so it really ended up being just a storage room. The moment you showed me Caylen’s picture I knew it would be hers. You really like it?” she asks genuinely.
“I love it.” I giggle. Caylen’s taken her cookie and is trying to feed it to the bear.
“Oh, Caylen, you’re going to get it all dirty,” I sigh, taking the cookie from her hand.
“You can get it as messy as you like. This is all for you and your mommy,” she says, sitting beside Caylen who has started to pull books off the shelves. Wait. What did she just say?
“Excuse me?” I ask her, making sure I heard her right.
“Well that’s why I purchased a full-sized bed,” Mrs. Scott says, not taking her eyes off Caylen.
“I was just thinking it would be a little silly for you to stay at the hotel for three entire weeks, not to mention how expensive that would be when we have a perfectly good room for you here,” she says. My stomach feels as if I was just thrown off a high rise building. My mouth is dry and I’m trying to find my words. They should come out but none do. She can’t be serious, I can’t stay here. I’m growing accustomed to the fact that Chris isn’t Cal, and when I’m with him, I’m reminded even more of that, but he still has his face and his voice and I don’t know if I can take being around him 24/7.
“I really appreciate the thought but…I-I don’t know if that would be such a great idea Mrs. Scott,” I laugh, scratching my head.
“It’s a great idea, isn’t it Caylen?” she says happily, and I sigh. When she finally looks at me, her wide smile softens.
“Well, I’m really the only one here during the day. William is out handling things for the farm and Chris is teaching or at the community center when he’s not working with Will. I won’t be much of a bother to you, I promise,” she says, giving me a reassuring smile. I still shake my head.
“And since she’s only going to be here for three weeks, I’d love to spend as much time with her as I possibly can and the same goes for Chris and William. We’re a small town but I’d feel terrible knowing that the two of you were in a hotel, eating fast food and junk food when you could be having dinner with us,” she continues. I wonder if she really doesn’t get it. Doesn’t she realize I’m in love with her son? That I’m trying really hard not to be in love with him and being in such close proximity doesn’t help at all?
“And thinking of how much gas you and Chris will waste going back and forth, it just doesn’t seem logical,” she continues. It’s funny that her argument is that the logical thing to do would be to stay here. If only logic were involved, it would make sense, but there are so many other things besides logic involved. The logical part of my mind is saying to decline, stay at the Inn, and thank her again for the lovely room she created for Caylen. But the other part of me, the emotional and hopeful part, says to say thank you, hug her and pretend it’s not a big deal.
“It’s only three weeks Lauren,” she says with a warm smile that makes me feel like this is a great idea and that everything is going to be fine. Then that bitter, nervous, pessimistic side of me turns her words against me.
It’s only three weeks. That’s all you get.
“What did Chris say about this?” I ask, starting to hug myself. If he’s okay with it then I’m staying, if she hesitates for even a second, it’s off to the Ritter Inn I go.
“Chris thinks it’s a fantastic idea,” she says fluidly as she lifts Caylen up in the air.
Fantastic idea…Well, it looks like I’m staying.
Chapter 35
Chris
“You told her what?”
My mom smiles sheepishly. I should have known something was up when I saw her practically run out of the house as I pulled up.
“Well honey, when you think about it, it doesn’t make sense for them to stay over there all alone when they could be here with us,” she explains simply. I let out a deep breath and grab my head. I’m dead. Jenna’s going to kill me.
“You didn’t mention this to me when we finished Caylen’s room. You didn’t ask me. Then you lied to her and told her it was my idea?” I say tightly, and she sighs.
“I didn’t say it was your idea. I said you thought it was a fantastic idea,” she clarifies, and I begin pacing.
“Mom, this isn’t good,” I say with a nervous laugh. “What did dad say?” I know he couldn’t have agreed to this.
“Your father doesn’t know yet but don’t worry about him. He will see the logic in this as well once I explain it to him.”
Oh, great. Dad doesn’t know. This is going to go over really well.
“Chris, what is the issue with her staying here?” she asks as if she doesn’t get it. I really don’t have a problem with Lauren staying here. It makes sense for her to stay but I know for sure Jenna is definitely not going to see her staying here as a purely logical decision.
“Mom, have you forgotten about Jenna? Things are pretty rocky right now and I’m just starting to get back on her good side. This isn’t going to help me with her at all,” I say, looking her directly in the eyes.
“Christopher, she’s not staying in the same room with you. She’ll be on an entirely different floor. Caylen is going to be your daughter a lot longer than this little visit. Jenna will have to be able to trust you being alone with her mother,” she says, and I let out a groan. How can she not see Jenna’s side in this, or does she not care? It’s not like my mom to be so one-sided…unless. I turn to look at her and survey her expression.
“Do you not like Jenna, Mom?” I ask her genuinely, and for a second her expression goes blank. “You don’t like her,” I state in disbelief, and she shakes her head.
“I didn’t say that, honey.” she states adamantly, but just from that look I can see that isn't true. Great. My mom doesn’t like the woman I want to marry and never bothered to say anything about it.
“Regardless if you like her or not, you have to admit this isn’t fair to her at all. How am I going to explain this?” I ask her, and she lets out a little huff.
“Blame me. Tell her it was all my idea. I will not allow my only grandchild to spend three weeks in a hotel when she could be here with me. I won’t allow it, Christopher,” she says sternly.
“She’ll think you don’t like her and she can’t think that. Especially now, Mom.” This is bad, really bad.
“Honey, I told Lauren you’d bring their bags in from the car. That was the reason I came out here,” she interrupts my thoughts and hands me Lauren’s keys. I’m going to have to think of something. I can’t tell Lauren she has to leave and it does make sense that she stays here.
Jenna’s logical. It’ll be fine.
It’s all going to be fine. My mom’s right. After these three weeks, Lauren’s not going to disappear. There are going to be times when we’re together—alone, even—and it’ll be cool because we’re going to become friends over the next three weeks. I’ll honestly be able to say to anyone that asks that she’s just my friend. I take a deep breath and retrieve the two suitcases and duffle bag out of the back of Lauren’s car. I can’t ignore the excited feeling I have knowing they’re going to be here for almost a month. I’m nervous and I know there will be difficult things we’ll need to deal with, but it won’t be all hard, bad, or uncomfortable.
Everything’s going to be good.
“Everything’s going to be good,” I mutter to myself as I enter the house through the kitchen. Things are looking up already. My mom has a plate of chocolate chip cookies waiting for me. I make my way to Caylen’s room and see her playing with the dollhouse my dad put together for her.
“Hey there,” I say as I put down the bags. She has a doll in one hand and a cookie in the other. She starts to laugh as I pick her up.
&n
bsp; “Can we share your cookie?” I ask her, and she starts to put it in my mouth. Too bad it’s soaked with drool.
“Hey.” I turn around and see Lauren standing in the doorway. She’s wearing an oversized white sweater and jeans, her hair up in a ponytail. I feel the same excitement I did when I first saw her, except this time she has a wide, warm smile on her face. My god, she’s beautiful. But so is Jenna.
Jenna is beautiful and you love Jenna.
“How was your trip?” I ask as I sit down on the rocking chair my mom selected for the room.
“Good,” she nods, and her wide smiles changes. She quickly looks over her shoulder and closes the door behind her.
“I know your mom said you thought this was a fantastic idea but I just wanted to make sure that this is really okay with you?” she asks hesitantly, her hand gripping her wrist. She looks nervous and even though she just met my mother, she clearly sees that this was a desperate grandmother’s scheme.
Still, the moment she walked into the room while I was holding Caylen, my feelings changed.
“I can’t think of any other place I’d rather you guys be than here,” I say. Her eyes widen a little and she exhales. Maybe I shouldn’t have used those exact words but that’s what I was thinking, and it just slipped out.
“How do you like the room?” I say quickly, changing the subject.
“I love it. It was really sweet of you all,” she says shyly. I can’t believe I make her shy but I do. I wonder if I make her feel as nervous as she makes me feel.
“My mom picked everything out. My dad and I put everything together.” I chuckle.
“Your dad’s okay with me staying here?” she asks quietly as if someone is going to walk in on us.
“No one asks him about anything around here,” I joke, and she laughs tilting her head back and showing her dimples. I try to slow my heartbeat. There’s a knock on the door that startles her. I guess she forgot she closed it. She opens it and my mom is standing there with a nervous smile.
“What’s up mom?” I ask, the expression on her face worries me.
“Chris, can I steal you for a moment?” she asks. Lauren looks at me with concern.
“Okay,” I say calmly and give Lauren a reassuring smile. I release Caylen to the teddy bear she’s beating up. When I’m out the room, she closes the door behind me.
“Jenna’s just pulled up outside,” she informs me nervously. Oh crap.
“Did you tell her to come today?” she asks timidly. I nod. I did tell her to come today but I didn’t think she’d come right now.
“Did you tell Lauren Jenna was coming today?” she asks tightly
Nope.
My mom lets out a nervous sigh.
“Chris, with this many women in your life, you’re going to have to learn to communicate a little better.” She sighs. It’s not a communication problem, more like a procrastination problem.
“I think you should let Lauren know that Jenna’s about to arrive and I'll let Jenna in,” she says, pointing me back to the room. She shakes her head before leaving me standing next to the door looking like an idiot.
I am an idiot.
I should have talked to Lauren about this a while ago but it can’t be that big a deal. She knows about Jenna and that she’ll eventually have to meet Caylen.
It’ll be fine.
I let out a deep sigh before going in. When I enter, she’s unpacking her suitcase. She glances up at me curiously.
“What’s up?” she asks knowingly. I must look how I feel.
“I wanted to have a chance to talk to you about this first but…well, Jenna’s here to meet Caylen,” I say and swallow the lump in my throat. She drops the shirt she was folding and I can tell her breathing has changed. She doesn’t look at me. She keeps her eyes on the shirt she was folding. If I didn’t feel like an ass before, I definitely do now. Her face is flushed and I know it’s not from embarrassment, or maybe it is. The first time I saw her face flushed that color, Cal was the cause. This time I can’t blame him. This is strictly because of me.
“She’s here now?” Her sentence is quick but choppy.
“Yeah,” I nod. The next few seconds are more than awkward. I have a feeling Lauren’s burning holes in the shirt she’s staring at to keep from burning holes in my face. There’s an eerie silence until Caylen starts hitting one of her books on the floor. This seems to snap Lauren out of her trance.
“Just give me a few minutes to clean her up,” she replies picking up Caylen and taking the soggy chocolate chip cookie from her hand. I turn around to face her before I walk out.
“Thanks Lauren.” She glances up at me with tight smile as she starts to wipe Caylen’s mouth. When I close the door, I let out a deep breath and pray for this to go as smoothly as possible. It can’t be any worse than the last time they met.
Hopefully.
Chapter 36
Lauren
I’m an idiot. I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. I don’t know why—probably because I am an idiot—but a part of me sort of thought things were about to change. Initially, I thought that staying here was a ploy his mom was using to have more time with Caylen, but when he said that there was nowhere else he’d rather have us stay, I thought there was a chance.
A chance that maybe Chris could see me the way Cal did. Now I know there is no chance of that. I didn't even have one bag unpacked before that little delusion crumbled around me. I should have expected this, I really should have.
As Raven said, I told him I was leaving the past in the past. He’s engaged to another woman, a woman that would eventually have to meet Caylen. His life hasn’t stopped moving forward.
I’m still the foolish girl Cal left behind, waiting. I’m still waiting, the only one waiting apparently. Jenna’s no longer going to be the strange woman I saw once, she’s going to be a part of all this. She’s not waiting for anything since she already wants to meet Caylen, and if she’s meeting Caylen, she has no intention of going anywhere. Somewhere in me, I was hoping the craziness of this situation would run her off, but apparently she’s just as stupid as I am and is in this for the long haul. How am I supposed to face her? How do you make nice and pretend to be cordial with a woman who is engaged to the man you’re in love with? I’ve done a lot of fake smiling and pretending, but I’m not a good enough actress to pull this off long term. I have to try because there’s no way they’re taking Caylen anywhere alone.
Call me selfish or overprotective, but until I get to know this woman, that’s not happening. Which means I’ll have to get to know this woman.
“Poo! Poo! Poo!” I mutter to myself. Caylen’s oblivious to all this, thank God. I’ve cleaned the smeared chocolate and cookie crumbs from her face and dressed her in a cute little yellow romper. She looks adorable again. I’ve been done getting her ready for at least five minutes, but I’m glued to the bed. How am I going to go out there and not let this woman see that I’m in love with this man? She’s going to see it. Chris is the only one oblivious to it. Either that or he just doesn’t care. I pick up Caylen and remind myself of the reason I’m here. I’m not here for me. I’m really not here for Chris or even Cal. I’m here so that my daughter can have as normal of a relationship as possible with her dad, and if he wants this woman—the woman he plans on spending the rest of his life with—to meet her…
The more I try to talk myself into this, the more I’m being pushed deeper into a black hole. I smile down at Caylen and kiss her on the cheek before opening the door. I can hear them in the dining room. She’s talking about school. She says something about her law professor. I swallow the lump in my throat and practice my fake smile that seems to morph into a feeble grin as I enter the room.
Chris looks relieved, like someone just lifted the weight of the world from his shoulders. Maybe he thought I wasn’t really coming out. Mrs. Scott gives me a reassuring smile and then I see Jenna. There’s no smile on her face but her eyes narrow in on mine and she sits up straighter in her cha
ir. She is watching me. She hasn’t even given Caylen a glance. She’s studying me and she’s not even trying to hide it. The practiced smile I was wearing has fallen completely. I’m really straining for it to not fall into a full-blown frown.
We’re complete opposites. She has platinum blonde hair falling neatly to her shoulders and piercing blue eyes. Her eye lashes are long and her eyebrows are the same color as her hair so she’s definitely a real blonde. She is wearing a taupe cashmere sweater with an elaborate gold pin. When my eyes land on her hand, there it is, the engagement ring. I don’t know if she notices where my eyes land but I could swear her lips curve into a smile and her coolness disappears as she stands up.
“Can I hold her?” she says, sweetness dripping from her voice. My eyes dart to Chris who seems a little surprised. My immediate response is “hell no” but thank God my filter is working. Unfortunately, I’m frozen. My mouth won’t open and my limbs won’t move.
“Is that okay, Lauren?” Chris asks, clearing his throat. I finally manage to walk over to Chris and hand Caylen to him. He sits her on his lap and she immediately starts reaching for the cookies in the middle of the table. Chris looks at Caylen adoringly.
“She’s definitely yours,” Jenna says with a chuckle and I let out a very dry laugh. Is that supposed to be a joke?
“Hi, there. I’m Jenna” she says, leaning forward as she watches Caylen eat her cookie. I want to throw up.
“She’s beautiful, Chris,” she says, touching one of her pigtails. I wonder how long I should stand here before she acknowledges I’m in the room.
“Lauren, you always dress her so adorably,” Mrs. Scott says, and I try to force a smile but fail miserably. “Don’t you think, Jenna?” she says, obviously attempting to give Jenna a hint.