The Complete If I Break Series

by Portia Moore

  “Why does it matter?” she asks, annoyed.

  “Are you legal?” I ask her, just as annoyed, and she laughs.

  “If I wasn’t wouldn’t it be sort of late to ask that now?” she asks sarcastically.

  “Tell me you’re legal,” I say with almost an edge to my voice, gripping her arms.

  “It wouldn’t stop any of this that’s going to happen,” she retorts with an eyeroll.

  “Yes the fuck it would!” I tell her angrily. Instead of yelling at me again she smiles and it’s almost soft for a second.

  “Yes, I’m legal! God, I’m a year older than you,” she tells me and my heartbeat starts to slow down.

  “How do you know how old I am?”

  “Because they took your ID at the club…you may go home with complete strangers, but I don’t,” she quips.

  “I’m going to ask you something and I really need you to tell me the truth.”

  She squints at me annoyed, but is quiet.

  “Are…”

  I sound stupid even asking this.

  “Are you a virgin?”

  The words hang in the air as she stares at me, her body on display, her beautiful body that I’d be in disbelief if no man has been inside of it. How could a girl that exudes sex not have ever had the real thing? She works at a strip club!

  “Something is really wrong with you,” she laughs angrily

  She gets off the bed and starts grabbing her clothes.

  “What guy turns down sex to play 21 questions?” she asks almost to herself, as baffled as my dick is. She pulls her shirt over her head. “Are you gay?” she taunts me.

  Maybe I should just fuck her, that’ll get her out of my head.

  “This will be the last time you see me, and stay away from job,” she says, pulling her skirt on.

  “Sit down!” I grab her bag.

  “Give me my purse!” she demands, glaring up at me with fire in her eyes, like I’m not taller, and she’s the one that’s 200 pounds of muscle instead of me. I have to fight myself to keep from laughing.

  “You do know your balls are very vulnerable right now,” she growls at me. I stare down at her, daring her to try. She caught me off guard last time, this time she won’t.

  “Take off your clothes,” I tell her quietly, and she looks confused.

  “No. I don’t really want to fuck you anymore,” she says dismissively. I tilt my head at her and can’t help but grin. If she didn’t want me she wouldn’t be here, but I’ll call her bluff. I toss her purse to the other side of the room. Before she can start running her mouth off I grab and kiss her hard and slide my fingers between her legs, finding her dripping for me.

  “I think you do,” I tell her teasingly. She scowls at me before pulling her hand back, attempting to bring it across my face. I grab it before she does and pin her to the bed. She tries to get up but I hold her there, keeping my distance, because from the look on her face I don’t know if she’s going to headbutt me or kiss me. I start to feel the tension of her wrists give way and I let them go, bringing my weight from off of her. I stand in front of her and her eyes meet mine. They’re, sexy, confident, and full of fury, but they smile at me before her lips curl into one.

  She lets out a huff, but reaches the bottom of her shirt and pulls it over her head. She didn’t have time to put her bra on with the little tantrum she had and her nipples are hard and pointed at me. She stands from the bed so our bodies are touching and slides off her skirt while maintaining complete eye contact, as if she’s calling my bluff. Virgins don’t do things like this, normal virgins don’t, but this girl isn’t normal. She’s standing in front of me, no fear in her eyes, no insecurities. Like she knows I want to dive into her like she’s my own personal swimming pool. Does she know how much restraint it’s taking me not to do that?

  I walk to the other side of the room. Her gaze trails me and I pull out the gold packet. I sit in the center of the bed and put it on, her watching me almost suspiciously.

  I gesture my head for her to come to me.

  “Come take a ride then,” I challenge her. She can exude sex all she wants, be skilled when it comes to touching a dick, and confident as hell about how sexy she is. But if she’s a virgin she won’t be able to ride a dick, especially not the size of mine.

  She walks over to me with a self-assured grin and climbs on top of my lap; her eyes reveal no fear. I slide my hand up her stomach to her chest, the space where her heart is, and it’s stampeding. She lifts herself up and my dick head throbs as she brings her lips to it, she’s still wet but she could be more. I watch her and she starts to press herself onto me slowly but her muscles are tight in her thighs and it barely gets anywhere. Her poker face is lethal but her body is giving her away as she tries to press further. I grip her hips and stop her. Her eyes leave mine, her face flushed. She’s embarrassed.

  I feel like a dick. I didn’t want to embarrass her…I just wanted her to admit it. She shouldn’t be embarrassed, I think it’s hot as hell. I get to be the first person inside of her, to make her come this way. She’s just made my year.

  “Change of plans.” I grip her waist.

  “But,” she starts to protest and I slap her ass, which seems to shut her up. We switch positions so she’s lying on her back and I’m on top of her. Her eyes avoid mine this time. I kiss her neck, every inch of it, and rub the spot that drove her crazy earlier.

  Her legs draw up again and I make my way lower, back to the diamond belly button ring. This time her hands don’t push my face down but her fingers play in my hair.

  I gently rub her clit that’s in full view since she’s completely bare, and I hear her let out a small gasp. I move my thumb and cover it with my mouth, kissing it, and I hear her whimper before taking my tongue and pushing it inside her. I lap her up just a few times before sucking her clit and flicking it continuously with my tongue.

  Her breath immediately catches and her grip becomes tighter in my hair. I continue my assault steady and relentlessly, adding more pressure as her gasps of “Oh God” become more audible. Her thighs are tight around my shoulders. When she releases my hair and I see the sheets being clawed I know she’s almost ready. I suck her into me and she shrieks, making the one she did earlier seem tame in comparison, and she starts to pulse against my mouth. Her head is turned towards the ceiling and I grip her thighs, bringing her back to the center of the bed. I grip my dick and put it near her opening. She’s still catching her breath from the orgasm she just had but she nods. I take one of her arms and put it around my neck and lift her leg over one of my shoulders as I push into her as slowly as I can. She whimpers, taking in a long breath, and her thighs begin to tremble. I’m still only halfway in and she feels so fucking good I have to stop myself from going too fast inside of her. I look at her and she nods again, her lips pressed together and her eyes closed, and I kiss her. This time not dominating her mouth or her dominating mine. I kiss her long and deeply before pushing further inside of her. I break our kiss and she lets out a few breaths.

  “All in,” I tell her and she grins.

  I don’t know why this girl wants her first time to be with me, but I feel like I’ve hit the jackpot, all my shitty luck cashed in to collect this grand prize. I start to move slowly, her breathing as heavy as I am, and she begins to stretch for me. Her tense body slowly starts to relax and I’m able to move into her more normally.

  “Can you move with me babe?” I ask her.

  “Maybe,” she says, her voice lighter and more innocent than I’ve ever heard it. I slowly feel her begin to move with me, at first tentative and sporadic and then she starts to catch my rhythm and we sync and she’s perfect. I reach down for her clit and move my fingers against her as I start to go deeper and she starts moaning.

  “You’re so fucking sexy,” I tell her. “So fucking tight.”

  She begins to move faster with me.

  “You like that baby?” I ask her, and she whimpers “Yes” as I push deeper into her, and
she gasps.

  “Fuck, sorry,” I tell her, freezing, and she scowls at me before breaking a small smile.

  “It’s okay,” she says breathlessly. I start to rub her clit faster and slow down as I feel myself about to come, and I want her to come with me.

  “Don’t stop,” she pleads, moving her body and clenching me.

  “Then don’t do that,” I tell her and she grins, biting her lip.

  “You mean this?” she asks, clenching around me again, a satisfied grin on her face.

  “Fuck, Alana,” I moan and push deeper into her. She calls out my name and I know I’m going to be addicted to her moaning in my ear. I rub against her clit until her breath hitches and it starts to throb, so I push myself deeper into her again and feel her, pulsing, clenching around me, and I come next. We both catch our breath, and I realize this plan backfired. I didn’t fuck her out of my mind, I’ve invited her in and she’s going to fucking live there.

  Chapter 4

  Megan

  I’m here.

  This is life now.

  There were days where I’d sit in one of a dozen of homes I lived in and stare up at the sky and wonder if things would ever get better, if there was ever going to be an up. After I turned twelve I gave up the dream of my parents showing up and saving me from whatever nightmare I had lived, but I had hope from the books I read and the movies I’d watch—which were a luxury because when you’re a foster kid you get everything after the real family does. Either by order or by the sense of the standing order of the house, but those stories I read or saw usually gave the person a happy ending. I wasn’t sure I deserved a happy ending then. That’s not what so many foster parents and siblings told me. Encouragement and development wasn’t what I pulled from in my cards but I think it’s human to have hope and if I’ve ever been anything I’ve been human, flawed, bound to make mistakes, but persevering. Around Kam I feel like a goddess. He makes me feel like there’s nothing I can’t do, no feat I can’t accomplish. It’s jarring coming from where I have but it’s addicting. Having someone who believes in you, who sees the good in you, who doesn’t look at you with pity—or worse, like you’re dirt underneath their shoe. Since our first date Kam and I have been inseparable.

  I wake up to Kam sitting next to me naked, just a sheet covering him. Knowing his body was on me and in me, that we were a part of each other, gives me a whole new appreciation of every etched muscle in his body.

  I’ve never felt more safe than being in Kam’s arms. I’ve never felt love before and he gives it to me every day. Kisses line my shoulder and I can’t fight the smile on my face.

  “Call off,” he begs, still half asleep, wrapping his arms around me.

  “I can’t.” I laugh as he turns me towards him.

  “Yes, you can,” he tells me, squeezing my waist. I could stay with him all day wrapped up in his love like a blanket if I could.

  “I can’t, I’m only on schedule for two days at the store. And you work this afternoon. Your dad’s going to kill you if you’re late,” I tease him, sliding regretfully out of his grasp.

  “Maybe you can convince him to go easy on me.” He rolls over and watches me with a boyish grin as I grab my clothes, his gaze playful.

  “I’m sure he’d love that,” I tell him with a laugh. I talked to his parents on the phone last week. Katie put me on FaceTime fresh off of morning sex with their son and headed for a glass of water, and I almost died. I’ve had embarrassing moments but that was almost top ten, and next week I meet them for dinner.

  That’s going to be the end for you.

  “He’ll love you as much as I do.” I freeze.

  Did he just say what I think he said? I turn towards him. He’s sitting up in bed now wearing a smile that makes my heart dance, the sun from the window shining down on him like he’s an angel. He’s my angel for sure.

  “What did you say?” He walks towards me, each step making me weaker for him. He pulls me to him. His muscles flex and cause my thoughts to scatter, but my heart is stuck on his previous words. Was it imagined? Is he joking?

  “I love you, Megan. I wanted to say it weeks ago. I think I knew it the day I laid eyes on you, the first time I kissed you, and if I wasn’t able to tell you, it’d be my biggest regret.” It’s been four months since we met, two since I gave him a gift I’ve cherished for so long, and a month of sleeping in the same bed. I’ve felt so many things, so many emotions for so long—but most of all, with him the anxiety is settled, the voices are low…the memories aren’t gone, but faded. I’d think that’s love and I’ve felt it for him for so long.

  “I love you too, Kam. You’re the first person I’ve ever loved, the best person, the only.”

  Not the best, you’re the worst.

  A light pink floral dress that sits just above the knees, small stud earrings, and tan ballet flats is the outfit I’m hoping will be the icing on the cake for Kam’s parents to like me. I’ll aim for them to at least tolerate me. I’m so nervous but Kam and Katie have both told me to not worry, that their parents are ecstatic to see me. I hope they’re right. I hope their parents are as kind as their children are.

  “You look amazing! It’s going to be fine,” Gabriella says, putting the final touches on my makeup. “Not too much, okay?” I remind her.

  “Girl I know, I’m keeping you classy, conservative, and chic,” she tells me with a wink. I see that my hair is in loose curls as I’m looking in the mirror she hands me. My makeup is perfect light blush, flawless skin, and baby pink lips.

  “You did an awesome job,” I tell her, genuinely impressed. She’s come a long way in the three months from when she first did my makeup. She’s even gotten a few steady clients.

  “Thank you hun. Now let me take a pic!” She has her phone out and is snapping a photo of me before I can give her permission. I hate taking pictures but she’s doing it for free and I at least owe her that. She takes two, one of me smiling. I stand and smooth out my dress and double check I have everything in my bag. There’s a knock at the door; Gabriella yells that she’s got it. When I enter the living room, Kam’s standing there and I still think how lucky I am that he’s mine. He’s even more handsome today wearing a powder-blue button-up, a dark blazer, and matching pants.

  “Make sure you turn on the alarm in the car, even when you’ll just be a few minutes,” she’s telling him in a motherly tone.

  “Duly noted,” he promises her, flashing her an authentic smile. When his attention lands on me it becomes even brighter. He always looks at me like I’m a prize, when I consider myself the winner.

  “Tell him Megan, these people around here can strip a car faster than the clothes off a whore.”

  We both laugh but she isn’t kidding.

  “We’re about to head out anyway,” I remind her.

  “Have fun and don’t be nervous—they’re going to love you,” she whispers in my ear with a quick hug. Once we’re outside Kam pulls me to him and kisses me. It’s quick but greedy, then he rests his forehead on mine like the two days we’ve been apart have been two weeks, but two days has been the longest time we’ve been apart since we met. We both had projects due and Kam had to help his dad with some project at one of his dad’s companies.

  “I missed you,” he whispers huskily. I squeeze him tighter, letting him know I feel the same. Once we’re in the car he hands me a cream soda and strawberry shortcake. My face lights up. They’re my absolute two favorite things in the world. When I was twelve there was a candy store that was only a block away from where I lived at the time. I’d save up all the money I could find from loose change on the street, or doing other kids’ chores, and buy myself that exact combination. I told Kam about it on our second date, and he hid it away for the perfect moment. I tear into it greedily, making sure not to spill any on my light-colored dress.

  “My mom is so excited to see you. I told you how obsessed you are with sweets so don’t be surprised if she has a table full for you.”

  “Fo
r me? She didn’t have to do that, I didn’t want her to go out of her way,” I tell him, embarrassed. He reaches over and squeezes my hand.

  “She didn’t. My mom’s been looking forward to this brunch since you agreed to come,” He promises me, and from the way he’s beaming he has been too. My skin flushes.

  The clock is ticking.

  His parents’ house isn’t a house, it’s a mansion. Beautiful brown brick at least three stories and it causes my heart to catch in my throat. I should have been warned when we had to go through a large black gate just to get there, this is real life; it isn’t the movies and my boyfriend’s parents live here. I don’t know what I expected but not this. Not this at all. Kam’s parents aren’t just rich, they’re wealthy.

  “You grew up here?” I ask, my voice sounding wobbly as we walk towards the house.

  “This is home,” he says easily. I feel my lips press tightly together. Gosh, I’m not ready for this.

  “Wow!” I can’t help but let it escape my mouth. Kam gives me a sheepish smile, squeezes my hand, and kisses it as we pull in. I don’t know why I expected him to ring the bell and I’d have time to prepare myself as his parents greeted us at the door. Kam has a key but he doesn’t need it since the door is open. The moment I step in I’m more impressed than I was when we pulled up to it. The house is breathtaking—the foyer larger and grand, with two staircases leading to the top. I remind myself to not allow my mouth to hang open like a dog, but I’m in awe. It’s all creams and soft whites and a majestic chandelier right at the top in the middle. I bet the tile on the floor is worth more money than I’ve seen in my lifetime.

  “Kameron. So good to see you.” A small older woman with dark blonde hair and grey streaks swept into a ponytail appears from one of the large doorways.

  “Ellie. You look beautiful,” he says, enveloping her in a big hug. She turns to me, her smile bright and friendly.

  “Ellie this is my girlfriend Megan,” he says, beaming proudly.