I hurried from the room, explaining to Ruby I would be getting ready for the trip.
“I already put your pack in the front room for Chevelle.”
“I’ll just check it,” I said. “Thanks.”
I found the pack with some of Chevelle’s things. As I started to open it, I knocked one of his bags over and went to pick it up. The flap was loose and a piece of familiar fabric hung out. I glanced over my shoulder to be sure Ruby wasn’t watching, and opened the bag to find the fabric-wrapped package she’d handed to Chevelle our first day here. The package he’d traded my stone for. I pulled the material back to reveal a leather-bound book. Afraid Ruby would catch me, I slid the book into my own pack and took it to my room.
I’d already been in trouble for stealing one book but this was technically mine. It had been swapped for my ruby. I was careful anyway, pretending to lie down and placing the book where I could quickly cover it if I were caught. I ran my fingers over the dark leather cover, tracing the scripted V etched there. Vattier? The first pages had been torn from the bindings so I flipped through, finding several more damaged sections, some torn, some by water. I sighed. Wasn’t that the way of things? I returned to the first page to read.
Today was the solstice celebration for the fairies. They are such fools. They got hopped up on dust and raided the castle. We had to kill about six of them before they sobered up enough to reason with. That was before Father killed two more just for fun. He said he had to prove a point, but I could tell he enjoyed it.
I straightened and blinked. What is this? I shook my head and continued.
My stupid sister was mad because he didn’t let her help. She started to throw a tantrum and he stiffened her tongue. It was stuck like that for hours. I laughed so hard I kept having to wipe the tears from my eyes. She tried to yell at me and it came out, “Thut uhp! Thop iht!” Which made me laugh harder, and she got so mad she screamed and busted a bunch of glass.
I kept reading, enthralled. It seemed to be a journal, written by a girl, but I had no idea who. Chevelle’s family? Why would he have a young girl’s diary? It was filled with pointless stories as far as I could tell, but after a few pages the writing matured and it seemed to jump several years. I wished it was dated.
I tire so easily of the formalities here. The only thing I have to look forward to are the few breaks I get to go out on my own, into the pines. Father has increased my work periods to every other day. Combined with my other duties, I am stationed in the castle almost all week. The magic practice exhausts me or I would sneak out at night, the way I enjoyed as a child. It doesn’t seem fair. My sister is practically ignored. Father clearly prefers me, but sometimes I wonder if that is really better. She wanders idly around the castle, no practice, no duties, no formal gatherings.
Magic practice, castles, who was this girl? I read the entries for hours. Ruby must have thought I was sleeping. I had no idea what in this journal could be of interest to Chevelle unless he knew the woman, and that kept me reading. It continued on—her father’s rigorous schedule, their distaste for her sister—and then the entries got more detailed and frequent.
Mother has been too ill lately for guests. I have not been able to see her. The tedium of my duties is getting to me and Father has been relentless with my studies, pushing me harder and harder to strengthen my control.
My sister has been exploring the mountains. I see her bring in all sorts of interesting finds, but she refuses to tell me where she got them. I wish there were a way to sneak out. I would follow her or force her to show me, but Father is keeping a close eye on me, making certain I stick to a strict schedule.
This morning he brought in a detailed list for Rune, giving him direction through a series of tasks. Rune is supposed to grade me on them, see which I excel most at so they can pick a specific field to concentrate on. I don’t know how extensive it was, but I saw ‘wind,’ ‘water,’ ‘growth,’ ‘transfer,’ ‘fire,’ and ‘foresight’ written as it passed between them.
We had already done months of fire. Pass it through water, see how large a flame I can create, see how hot I can go, test me on this, test me on that. And now he asks Rune to test me in the impossible, to see the future.
He expects too much. Merely because I am different. My sister is different, too. But she never has to practice. He doesn’t expect her to stay in the castle, not even when we have guests. No doubt he prefers her not be seen then, embarrassed by her light hair and features. It is infuriating! I wish I were as strong as he hoped. I could do what I wanted then.
I attempted slipping in to see Mother this morning, but the doors were protected. Father found me trying to break though and sent me directly to Rune for practice. At least I got out of my duties in the throne room. We started with water. I was so exhausted I had to sleep through most of the afternoon before they brought me back to work again in the evening. Every muscle in my body throbs. I think I hate Rune.
A servant brought a letter to my room this morning. It was from my father, informing me I’m to prepare for a banquet. I’ve put on my formal attire. I wonder what sort of tricks he’ll want me to perform for our guests. How will he display my talents this time?
I understand he needs to show strength in his position, but it seems as if he’s being a bit obvious. ‘Look at my freak of nature. See what she can do?’ I’ll be too tired for anything but sleep tonight or I’d try sneaking out when he was occupied with visitors. Maybe he’ll give me a break from training tomorrow.
Father hasn’t left his room this morning. No one has seen him since the conclusion of the festivities. My sister has sealed herself in her room. No one will tell me what has occurred.
Late last night, a servant brought a note from my father. It was four words long… ‘Your mother has passed.’
I am still in my room. I guess I am waiting. I don’t know what will happen.
I heard a noise in the front room and slid the book under a pillow, dropped my head, and pretended to sleep. I’d been so absorbed in the book I had no idea how long I’d been reading. There was a light rap on my door.
I tried to sound sleepy. “Yes?”
“Frey, I’m on my way to the ridge. We will be leaving in the morning.” Ruby’s words confused me. I must have read through the night.
“Okay.”
“Steed is here. You can stay with him or go with me.”
“I’ll stay.” I listened to her footsteps recede. When I was sure she was gone I slipped the book into my pack and hid it inside the material of the white gown. We would be leaving tomorrow, traveling to the peak. I laughed to myself—no matter how many times I said it, I had no clue what it meant. But now there was an urgency. No matter if it held safety, no matter if it held my family secrets, it held my escape from the bonds. It held my only chance.
I hadn’t slept, and I knew I would have to sneak a nap in at some point, but I had priorities. It might be my last opportunity for a real bath. And lovely soaps.
I sat with Steed for a while after I’d bathed. He was reclined on the bench, his feet propped on a low table. He didn’t seem as excited as Ruby had been about our coming trip, so I asked him about it.
“I’m just riding the wind, Frey.”
“Oh, so you don’t know where we’re going either?”
He laughed. “No, I know where we are going. It’s only that I don’t know where we’ll end up.”
I didn’t know what was going to happen either. I thought of the tracker and realized what a good distraction the book had been. “Steed?”
“Frey?”
I smiled but it fell away quickly. “How will we get to council? I mean, how do we find them?”
He wasn’t smiling anymore either. “Well, there’s a good chance they’ll be looking for us.”
Of course, and they would all come together. It was clear we were too strong for one or two, they would need to attack as a group. Or pick us off one by one. I wondered how large their force was.
“Fre
y?”
“Steed?” It wasn’t as funny this time.
“How did you do it?”
I raised my brow, unsure what he was asking.
“The snake,” he clarified.
“Oh. I… I don’t know.”
“Was it transfer magic? Did you simply push it there?”
I didn’t know how I’d controlled it, but it wasn’t from the outside. Should I tell him? “How else?” I asked innocently.
He nodded. “Some of the others, well, they seem to think you encouraged the snake to go under its own power. Silly, I know.” He was watching my response.
I tried sidetracking him. “Ruby says no one can control animals.”
“You’ve been talking to Ruby about it?”
Oops. “Well, Ruby just talks.”
“Mm-hm.”
“So, some of the others… who, exactly?”
He smirked. I’d given too much away. “You couldn’t tell by the way they looked at you in the clearing?”
I had noticed. Anvil, Grey. It brought back a memory. “Who was the old guy with the stick?”
“Staff.”
“Staff.” I waited.
“Shouldn’t you be preparing for the trip?”
“Shouldn’t you?” I countered.
“I am babysitting.”
I stuck my tongue out at him.
Tired, I settled back into my seat. “Steed, tell me about breeding horses.”
He sighed. “How much detail do you want?” I giggled.
He smiled as he started into the subject, explaining what he’d been taught about breeding techniques and dominant traits when he was young. His father had imparted to him all he had learned in his lifetime and all their ancestors had passed down before. They bred the animals methodically, striving to combine certain traits, bring them together in a single horse. With each generation, they strengthened the line, even bringing in new breeds from other lands to add to the list of desired attributes. Smoother gait, better endurance, stronger health, longer life.
I faded off somewhere during the part about bloodlines.
I woke late in the evening when Ruby switched places with Steed. She had brought some meat back with her and we supped together before I headed off to bed. Ruby didn’t question why I would be sleeping again so soon. She was busy being excited about her upcoming trip.
I didn’t share her enthusiasm, so I retired to my room and read more of the journal. There were many sad passages after the passing of the writer’s mother, though their bond didn’t seem traditional. It seemed more… formal. And there were many complaints about the additional workload, both with the castle duties—which were described in more detail—and her training. I couldn’t be sure how much time had passed without the entries being dated, but her mood had definitely shifted.
Father has been merciless in my practice and testing with Rune. Unrelenting sessions are wearing on me. I can barely concentrate. I don’t have the energy for the simplest tasks, let alone the new and wild trials he’s created. He thinks he has to test every possible idea he has or else he won’t know what I might be capable of.
He’s gone much more often lately, but Rune doesn’t let up in his absence. I wish there was a way to handle him, some way he’d give me a break when Father was away. I can think of nothing short of begging, and that would only result in punishment.
Sometimes, when Father’s away, I remember my mother. I try to see her room, but it is sealed. I am sorry that I destroyed the only thing I had of her, this insignificant journal—tore her pages out and tossed them away to make it my own, like a silly child.
I remember most of it, though I can’t recall the tone of her writings, whether she was happy in the beginning. My father’s indiscretion was no secret. The entire kingdom knew of his notorious action, stealing a light elf for his bride, though the stories vary. Some insist he was overtaken by love and she came willingly. Others that he raided her village and took her in the night. A servant once told me he heard of her extraordinary powers and beauty and sought her out, bargaining with her parents. I scoffed at that. What kind of person would trade their child? But now that I am older, I see. I see what power and greed can become. My doubts about the more outlandish stories, those about the obsession with power and ideas of breeding a stronger line, are gone.
But maybe they were in love. Maybe she was impressed by his station, maybe she had her own ambitions. Or maybe she lived a nightmare and only hung on so long for her children.
I was able to piece together some things about her life. She didn’t go into much detail about the magic, which I would have found useful, just that she practiced often and was apparently unusually talented. But she did tell more about her duties in the castle. Her father must have ruled a vast kingdom. And she was his second.
I heard someone in the front room and knew I had read through the night again. I hurriedly slipped the book into my pack and pretended to sleep. Ruby was waking me minutes later to head out to the ridge.
Traveling
The group was waiting for us when we crossed over the ridge, down to the site where we had spent so many days and nights. If I hadn’t been so exhausted from lack of sleep, I would have probably been nervous. As it was, I blindly followed Ruby as we gathered and eventually mounted to leave.
Chevelle, Steed, and I were back on our mounts from the earlier leg of the journey. Ruby, Grey, and Anvil each rode their own black horses, though Anvil’s was larger—I assumed to accommodate his massive frame—and Ruby’s was decorated, tendrils of red and gold in his mane. Though it wasn’t unusual, I didn’t see Rhys and Rider or the wolves. I wondered if they had their own horses and preferred to stay out of sight or if they ran with the wolves. I felt slightly comforted either way.
Once we were on our way, I didn’t mind so much. I was enjoying being back in the rhythm of the ride, not to mention the break from training. Conversation flowed easily as we made our way farther up the mountain. I had been thinking about my discussion with Steed, but hadn’t decided how to respond if I were asked again about the incident in the clearing, about controlling the snake. No one knew about the hawk and I wasn’t sure how I had done it to begin with, so I couldn’t exactly explain it. It would have been like explaining how to wiggle your ears to someone who wasn’t able. But it had been easy for me, much easier than fire even.
I drew my cloak tighter around my shoulders and yawned as I considered my horse. I’d had so much trouble learning to control him, trying to push him from the outside. Falling back from the group only enough not to gain notice, I tried to settle into his mind as I had the snake and the hawk. I closed my eyes, trusting him to avoid running into anything, though a low limb was the more likely problem. It was more difficult and… different. I was there though, leading him and seeing what he saw. It felt odd, uncomfortable, not like the hawk. The feeling reminded me of something and I drew back, opening my eyes to focus on remembering.
The small gray bird on the lip of the library window. For a fraction of a second I had been there, in that bird before I dropped it. I hadn’t realized. The moment had seemed insignificant in the course of things. I laughed at myself as it dawned on me that I probably could have simply made it stop singing. And the frog that had exploded on my white gown—I had been there for a mere instant. Their minds were so small, so simple, it was like nothing. The horse was different. It was watching for predators, concentrating on the path, its steps, carrying a load.
I tried to find another animal to experiment on. Our group wasn’t exactly small or quiet, so I was sure we’d scared most of the larger animals off. I wondered if I could figure out a way to locate them without seeing where they were first. I thought of the wolves. If I had an animal trained, I could call it to me to use at my leisure. I had no idea where they were now. Besides, the thought of entering those massive, vicious-looking animals made me uneasy. Maybe I could get in on the hunt tonight, find something away from the clatter of rocks under horse hooves.
“Frey?”
Ruby was talking to me. I pretended I’d been alert. “Yeah?”
I hadn’t fooled her. “Doing okay?”
“Uh-huh.” I decided to take the opportunity; I had a dozen questions since reading the diary. “Hey, Ruby, are there any castles around here?”
The caravan stopped as everyone turned to stare at me. I had no idea what I’d said wrong. I must have given away the fact that I had no clue where I was. It wasn’t my fault. I’d never left the village. I didn’t know anything about anything.
She glanced to the watching eyes and again to me. I was sure they were waiting for something.
“Well, it’s just that I remember reading in the village about castles in the North.” Was I supposed to have read that? Had that been in the documents I had pilfered from the library? Shut up, Frey, shut up!
They seemed to relax a little as Chevelle shook his head and brought his horse back to pace. I thought I knew what they were thinking. Idiot. Ruby answered, “Hmm,” with a cocked eyebrow as she turned to follow the group.
They were mostly silent the rest of the day, until we stopped for the night. The group split after dinner as Anvil and Grey positioned themselves on rocks at the perimeter of our camp. Ruby hung out by Grey and Steed busied himself as Chevelle paced stiffly around the camp. I was bored again, with everyone entertaining themselves, so I leaned back against a rock and pulled my pack to my lap. I wrapped my cloak loosely around me and positioned my legs so I could place the book there and, hopefully, not be found out. I wondered how many more days of traveling we’d have. I didn’t see a peak—didn’t even know if we were going to the peak of the mountain we were on—but I was too cowardly to ask, to think about what had happened, so I distracted myself in the journal.
[2018] Reign of Queens Page 46