by E. L. Todd
“It’s okay. I just don’t know what you want with me.”
“Well…it’s about my sister.”
I was grateful he didn’t say her name. I hated it when people spoke it aloud. It irritated my eardrums and made my stomach clench up in knots. “And?”
“I apologize for mentioning your relationship with our father. I didn’t realize she didn’t know.”
“It’s okay,” I said immediately. “You did nothing wrong. It shouldn’t have been a big deal anyway.” Bitterness came out.
“I spoke to her and she told me she left you…and you’ve been broken up for a few months now.”
It sounded like she was doing just fine without me. “Yep. That’s what happened.”
“Conrad, Beatrice is complicated…”
I hated hearing him say her name.
“She’s extremely sensitive when it comes to our family dynamic. She hates our father and she’s blinded by that emotion. I admit, he wasn’t my favorite person in the world either, but the more I spent time with him, the more I realized how much of a victim he is in the entire thing. I’ve tried telling Beatrice this. I’ve tried fixing it. Nothing works.”
“Nothing will ever work,” I said sadly.
“I think you’re the right man for my sister. I know you take care of her and I know you love her.”
“What’s your point?” I said bluntly.
“Please try to work it out with her.”
I released a laugh that was so loud it shook the apartment. “Is that a fucking joke?”
He kept a straight face. “No…”
“You want me to work it out with her? She’s the one who dumped me, remember?”
“But if you try to win her back or something—”
“No.” I released another laugh. “I’m sick of putting up with her bullshit. I’m sick of being the fighter of the two of us. And she doesn’t even want me back. You want me to go over there on my hands and knees and plead for her to want me? What the hell is that going to fix? A few months down the road she’s going to dump me for some other stupid reason. Forget it, I’m done with her.”
He sighed in sadness. “I don’t want my sister to end up alone.”
“That’s her prerogative,” I said sadly. “I treated her like a damn queen. I worked my ass off just to be in her life. Relationships shouldn’t be this hard. If she could turn her back on me so easily, then she never loved me to begin with.”
“So, if I convinced her to try and take you back, you wouldn’t want her?”
I didn’t bother answering the question. “Never going to happen.”
“But if she did, what would you say?”
I fantasized about her begging me to take her back—more than once. It’s what I wanted for a long time. But now things were different. “No.”
Chapter Ten
Thomas
Theresa was my assistant again and I didn’t interact with Rome. I stayed clear of the break room and always went out for lunch. I didn’t go anywhere near her office and I tried not to think about her whenever possible.
But, of course, I did.
Despite everything she did to me, the way she hurt me, I still thought about her. I remembered our relationship and the feel of her lips against mine. I remembered the way she would ride me and dig her nails into my skin. I remembered the way she would look at me, like I was the only person in the room. Every word she ever said to me played in my mind.
I wished I could just forget.
I wished she weren’t married.
But she was. She had a husband. She was sneaking around with me behind his back, breaking the vows she once made to him. I was having an affair with someone’s wife. It made me sick every time I thought about it. I couldn’t believe I fell for her deceit and her lies. It was a stab to the chest.
She didn’t talk to me like I asked. We never crossed paths, and if I tried hard enough, I could pretend she didn’t work there at all. A part of me wondered if she would make an appearance in my office but she never did. Sometimes I wondered if I actually wanted it to happen.
Two weeks went by and I was still heartbroken over what happened. Rome hurt me, and she hurt me good. She was never my girlfriend but I was devastated by the loss. Over the past eight months, I’d come to know her as this beautiful intelligent, and sweet woman. She knew me in a way no one else did. It seemed like she understood me. She was sympathetic to my past and pain. She understood why I was the way I was. I never told anyone else that before. Losing her was like losing a best friend as well as a lover.
God, the pain.
Why did I have to break my own rule? Why did I have to sleep with a woman I worked with? I told Rome my reservations about it, so why did she pursue it? She knew she was married so our relationship would clearly crash and burn.
What? She thought I was never going to find out?
Stupid girl.
I hated her.
I really hated her.
***
I left work later than usual one evening then walked to my car in the parking garage. Most of the spaces were empty because people had gone home for the day. My black car was where I left it, but there was a woman standing in front of it.
Rome wore dress pants and a matching blazer. Even without showing her skin, she looked beautiful. Her curves were prominent, and her hair was an array of curls. Her glasses were gone, and her green eyes were brighter than ever. I was so pissed off at her, but as soon as I looked at her, I couldn’t deny her obvious beauty.
Then I remembered what she did to me. The anger returned in full force. I approached the car with my bag over my shoulder, feeling my muscles tighten and my jaw clench. My hands formed fists and I had to restrain myself from not hurting her as much as she hurt me. “What did I say?” I reached her then gave her the most hateful look I could muster. “Get the hell away from my car.”
She blocked the driver door. “I need to talk to you.”
“Leave. Me. Alone.” I had no interest in talking to her. Nothing she said meant anything to me.
She wouldn’t move. “Please.”
“Why?” I snapped. “Everything that comes out of that mouth is a pack of lies.”
“Thomas, it’s important.”
“My feelings were important but you disregarded them. So what does it matter?”
She leaned against the door and refused to move.
“Move or I will make you,” I threatened.
“Thomas, please listen to me. I want to explain everything. I wasn’t going to say anything but I can’t stand seeing you like this…”
“You’re a vain woman to assume I care about any explanation you can possibly give.” I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the door.
She let me move her but she grabbed onto my arm, refusing to let go. “My husband beats me.”
I stilled at her words. My arm was motionless and I stopped trying to pull her away. I stared at her face, feeling my blood pound in my ears. I looked at her face, seeing the emotion in her eyes. Time seemed to stop. The surroundings faded. My car was forgotten. My heart pumped in my chest, preparing for a fight that wasn’t taking place. “What did you say?” I whispered.
“Thomas, he beats me.” She breathed hard, like she’d just run a marathon. “Of course our relationship meant something to me. I loved every moment of it. Thomas, you’re my best friend. I know I’m married but…he tortures me. I’m stuck and I can’t get out. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to get you involved. And…I just wanted to be happy. Cheating is cheating, and I did cheat. But I hate him. He’s my worst nightmare. And with you…I feel safe. I just wanted to feel safe for once…”
Her words washed through me but I couldn’t think of what to say. It was too heartbreaking, too painful, for my brain to understand. Someone hurt her? Someone beat her? Was that why she wore so much make up on some days but not others? Was that why she called in sick that one time and covered her face with a Mets hat? Was that why she had
scars all over her body? I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.
“As selfish as this sounds, I didn’t tell you because…if you knew I was married, you wouldn’t want to be with me. I was so desperate to have you. You’re the first man I’ve met that actually means something to me. I didn’t want to let you go.”
I pulled my arm away and brought it to my side. I took a deep breath and processed the rage. “Rome, you should have told me. I could have helped you.”
“No one can help,” she said sadly. “He knocked me up when I turned eighteen, and my dad threatened to disown me if I didn’t marry him. So, I was forced to. We were never in love. It was just a stupid and drunken night. But now I’m stuck with him. We haven’t had sex in years but he’s controlling. He doesn’t let me have friends and he doesn’t let me go out. But he does whatever the hell he wants.”
“Then how did you see me three times a week?”
“He’s a truck driver,” she explained. “So he was gone those days. But he would call the house phone at night to make sure I was there.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to take this all in.
“I’ve been caged like an animal and I hate it. I’ve considered taking my own life just to end it but I can’t. And if I ask for help, he’ll do something worse than hurt me. When I met you…you were my one escape. I’m sorry, Thomas. I had to tell you because…I want you to know that everything we had really meant something to me. I feel horrible for deceiving you. I was selfish.”
“It’s okay,” I whispered. “Don’t apologize.”
“It was still wrong.”
“Rome, you need to get out of there.”
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can,” I said firmly. “You can stay with me. I’ll protect you, okay? But you need to leave. You’ve suffered enough as it is.”
“You don’t understand,” she said. “If it were just me, I would have run away a long time ago. I’ve been working to save money to make my escape. But if I do and he catches me…”
“What?” I asked.
“He’ll hurt my daughter.”
The knowledge caught me off guard. She had a child? She had a little girl? I had no idea.
“Whenever he’s upset or drunk, he beats me. I’m okay with that because he never hurts Lizzie. But he told me if I ever try to run away, he’ll hunt us down and…kill her.” Her eyes watered and the tears fell.
For the past two weeks, all I’d been thinking about was how much I hated Rome. Now I felt like the biggest jackass in the world. All the signs were there and I just ignored them. As a victim of abuse, I should have noticed.
I pulled her into my arms and held her, giving her the comfort she needed.
She rested her face against my chest. “I didn’t want to tell you but…I couldn’t go on letting you think you didn’t mean everything to me, because you did.” She wiped her tears away and kept her face close to mine.
I stepped back slightly and looked into her face. “Rome, I’m getting you two out of there.”
She shook her head. “Thomas, no. I don’t want to involve you in this.”
“Well, too bad. I’m involved. We’re going by your apartment to grab your stuff. And Lizzy. You’ll be staying with me.”
She stepped back. “Thomas, I can’t do that. I can’t risk Lizzie’s safety. I can’t do it. She’s everything to me. I can take the hits. I’ve been doing it for a long time. I’ve been trying to kill him without him knowing, putting poison in his food and smothering him in his sleep but it never works.”
“You tried smothering him to death?” I asked in surprise.
“He was too strong for me.” She looked down, ashamed.
I was just glad she tried. She was fighting back, attempting to get out of the situation. She just needed extra help. “Rome, I will protect both of you. He can’t get to you through me.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt, Thomas.”
I regarded her seriously. “I won’t. Honestly, I hope he does come after me. I won’t have any trouble killing him.”
“Thomas, I can’t risk it.”
I grabbed her shoulder. “Rome, I promise I won’t let anything happen to you or Lizzie. I give you my word.”
She searched my eyes, still hesitant.
“You guys are going to live with me. I have an extra room for Lizzie. I’ll pick her up from school and drop her off. Everything is going to be okay.”
“Thomas, this isn’t a good idea.”
“Why?”
“Lizzie and I can’t live with you forever. And if we leave, he’ll hunt us down. You can’t protect us all the time, Thomas. I have a daughter and I can’t expect you to completely change your life for a child you never wanted to have.”
“Rome, this isn’t about a lifestyle change. This is about protecting two people who need help. I’m going to help you. I’m not going to let you suffer there a second longer. We’ll figure it out as we go along.”
“No,” she said. “I feel like we’d be taking advantage of you.”
“I’m giving you the advantage, Rome. Please take it.”
“But—”
“We’ll deal with it when it comes up, alright? First, we need you to move in with me.”
“He’s going to track us down.”
“I’ll take care of it. I promise.”
“No.” Her eyes watered with tears again. “Thomas, you’re a good person. I don’t want to drag you into this. You deserve to be happy, not deal with all my baggage.”
“Your baggage is my baggage,” I said simply.
“I really appreciate everything, Thomas. I really do. But I can’t accept your offer.”
I guided her against the car then held her there. I looked into her face, watching her tense reaction to me. “Rome, I’m not asking you. I’m telling you.”
She stared at my chest for a moment. “Lizzie and I aren’t your responsibility.”
I cupped her face and forced her to look at me. “I love you so you are my responsibility.”
Her eyes softened when she looked at me, and new tears emerged. She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes for a moment. “I love you too, Thomas.”
I kissed her gently on the lips. “We’re going to get through this, all three of us.”
“You haven’t even met my daughter.”
“If she came from you, I’ll love her too.” There wasn’t a doubt in my mind. I’d never been around kids and I wasn’t sure if I wanted them myself, but I knew how I felt about Rome. It was in the back of my mind for a long time. And if her daughter had to witness her mother being abused over and over again, I couldn’t live with myself. I would take care of her because she needed help. I would never walk away when someone needed help, especially a mother and a child. Rome was already an integral part of my life now. Knowing she’d been abused and mistreated so deeply broke my heart. She and I were more alike than I realized. If only she had told me sooner. “Now let’s go get your things.”
***
Theo had a truck so I called him. “I need your help.”
“Uh, sure. What’s up?” He spoke like he was distracted, caught up in something else.
“I need you to meet me at this address. And bring your truck.”
“Why?” he asked.
“You want to make up for all the shit you did?” I snapped. “Then be there ASAP.” I hung up then stuffed my phone into my pocket.
Rome sat in the passenger seat, looking flustered.
We reached her apartment then I pulled up outside. “Where’s your daughter?”
“At school,” she said. “She has theatre practice when school gets out.”
“Theatre practice?” I asked. “How old is she?”
“Six. It’s an after school activity I signed her up for. I try to keep her out of the house as much as possible…” Her voice drifted away in sadness.
We headed into her apartment then threw everything in plastic bags. There was no time to loiter
and neatly organize everything. Rome threw her clothes and accessories into the bags then moved on.
When I was in the living room, I spotted a picture of a man with a little girl. He had a strong jaw and dark eyes, looking exactly like the abusive type. I focused on his face and remembered it despite the anguish it caused me.
We left the bags at the curb, and when we were bringing out the last of Rome’s belongings, Theo pulled up.
“What’s going on?” He parked and jumped out.
“Put this in the back of your truck,” I commanded.
“Why—”
“Do as I say and don’t ask questions.” I stared him down, telling him it would be stupid to fuck with me right now.
“Okay.” He grabbed the bags and loaded them in the bed of the truck.
Rome and I gathered the rest of her things and returned to the sidewalk. “Is there anything else?” I asked.
“No.”
“Do you have a joint account with him?” I asked.
“No.”
“If there’s anything you need to get from him, now is the time. Once he knows you’re gone, it will be nearly impossible.”
She thought for a moment. “No.”
“Okay.” I helped Theo place everything in the truck. When everything was tied down, Theo jumped down to the sidewalk. “Now where?”
“My apartment. Now.”
Theo glanced at Rome, his thoughts swirling, and then looked at me again.
I knew what he was thinking, but thankfully, he didn’t say anything.
“I’ll meet you there.” I opened Rome’s door and got her inside. Then I got into the driver’s seat.
When we were at my place, the three of us carried everything inside and placed the bags into the second living room. Rome carried as much weight as we did, and her petite size didn’t diminish her strength.
When Theo and I carried a heavy bag of Lizzie’s toys and other things into the apartment, he gave me a look. “Thomas, what’s going on?”
“None of your business.” I shifted the bag against the wall so it wouldn’t fall over.
“Why is there kid stuff?” he asked.
“Like I said, none of your business.”
“Is she moving in with you?” he asked. “Isn’t that a little soon?”