I smiled at that statement, “My grandmother used to say that all the time.”
“Oh,” he said as he stepped into the bathroom. I stood in the doorway and watched as he carefully wet his hands and lathered them with a handmade bar of soap. “Do you see them often?” He glanced around his body.
I shook my head and my expression turned cloudy, “My grandmother passed away a couple of years ago now. But I live with my grandfather in their house.”
He turned to face me as he grabbed a hand towel and dried his hands, “Doesn’t your mother and father miss you when you’re away?”
I sighed and lowered my gaze, “My mother died when I was just a baby and I never knew my father. My grandmother and grandfather were the only parents I ever knew.”
“Oh Oliver, I’m so sorry.”
I lifted my eyes to meet his, “It’s okay, honestly. Grandma and Grandpa were the best parents a boy could have. In fact, I’m kind of returning the favor by helping Grandpa get around after his stroke.”
As he stepped to the side, I stepped into the bathroom and washed my hands just as he did. He lingered in the doorway behind me and added, “That’s our job as children; to take care of our parents when they get sick, just the way they took care of us when we got sick.”
I turned to him and smiled. Silence lingered between us for a moment before I said, “You and your family are so kind to hire me on. I didn’t get the chance to thank you earlier because we had so much to do and all.”
His lips formed a grin, “Think nothing of it, friend.”
Friend…He called me friend! I felt my heart skip a beat at the word and the way his kind eyes peered into my soul. The sound of his mother’s voice interrupted our moment, “Boys, lunch is ready whenever you are.”
He grinned at me, “I don’t know about you but I’m plum near starved.”
“So am I,” I quipped.
“Then let’s go, we still have more work to do and can’t be wasting the day lounging about. Grandpa always said idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”
“What does that even mean?” I asked with an amused smile,
Jacobi shrugged, “Heck if I know! There’s so much work to do around here, ain’t nobody got time for their hands to be idle.”
We shared a laugh as we took a seat at the table. He turned to his mom and asked, “Ain’t Grandpa coming for lunch?”
The lady shook her head, “No, he’s busy tending to the land.”
I casually asked, “Where’s your father?”
He turned to his mom and she nodded knowingly at him before answering the question, “He’s with the Lord now, a tractor accident took him from us a few Autumns ago.”
“I’m sorry,” I said empathetically as he turned his attention to the lunch his mother prepared.
“It’s okay, he’s with us in spirit every day.”
His mother extended her hand and tucked a wayward strand of hay-yellow hair behind his ear. I hadn’t even noticed that he’d taken off his hat. My eyes temporarily diverted to the mess of yellow hair atop his head and I smiled. It was so pretty and soft looking that I longed to run my finger through it like the tender grass in an overgrown meadow.
His mother had fixed us two ham and cheese sandwiches and two slices of peach cobbler for dessert. “Mmm,” he hummed with delight as he chewed carelessly. “This sure does hit the spot.”
I sighed a lovesick sigh, “It sure does.”
Sitting there with him, eating lunch at a handmade wooden farm table was a dream come true. This was the life I longed to have; sitting at the table while my boyfriend and I shared a meal. A sudden sadness invaded my expression as I realized it could never be. There’s no way with his Amish background and family that they’d ever accept a homosexual into their family.
It just wasn’t fair. Here we are, two boys on the cusp of becoming young men: he without a father, and me without any parents at all. Just Grandpa, who I love with all of my heart, but if there were ever two people who needed someone, it was Jacobi and me.
After lunch, we proceeded back to the market and prepared to take a few more groups of passengers down to the orchard. This time, he let me drive and he took the position I’d held all morning. I couldn’t deny how nice it was to feel his strong hands resting on my shoulders. I also couldn’t stop fantasizing about the way his fingers might feel pressed tightly into my naked skin.
At the end of the day, we strolled down to the lake and plopped down on the shore as he loosened the straps of his suspenders. He drifted back into the soft grass and gazed up at the sky. “Do you ever watch the clouds?”
“Huh?”
He pointed up, “The clouds, do you ever watch them and try to guess what they look like?”
I shook my head no. He sat up and met my gaze with an arched brow, “How come? It’s relaxing and a lot of fun!”
I shrugged, then he pulled me down with him. For a moment, my hands were resting on his chest as I gazed into his eyes. I couldn’t help thinking, there’d never be a blue sky as beautiful as his eyes. He smiled warmly and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind my ear as he whispered, “Your hair’s as soft as a cattail.”
I grinned and dropped my face to his chest, “God, where do you come up with this stuff?”
He chuckled, “It made ya smile didn’t it?”
Then he whispered, “I’d do anything to see you smile.”
I lifted from his chest and mumbled, “What?”
But he shook his head, “Nothin’ let’s just watch the clouds go by.”
And we did, we watched the clouds go by as the sun set behind the hills. Before long, his grandpa shouted, “Jacobi, time to come home and wash up!”
I could have laid there with him in that meadow for the rest of time. He stood and took my hand to help me from the ground, and as we stood I stumbled into him. His hands were resting on the small of my back and mine were resting on his shoulders as he said, “I suppose we should say goodnight?”
“Yeah, I suppose so,” I sighed with a heavy heart.
“But we’ll see one another again tomorrow!”
I shook my head and forced a smile at his optimistic tone, but I would have given anything to have gone home with him and fall asleep in his arms. For a moment, I thought we might kiss. His eyes were heavy and sleepy. I easily could have gone in for a kiss, but I didn’t.
He quickly snapped to attention and pulled away, then with a tip of his hat he said, “I’ll see you in the morning, my friend.”
I waved silently as he turned and sprinted toward the direction of his house, leaving me there with nothing but my thoughts and the sound of my heart beating his name. Oh, to get lost in an endless meadow of golden grain, running just as fast as we can, until we can’t run anymore, then we’d fall down together and make love… forever. Forever seems like a long time in perspective, but it’s really not that long at all when you’re with the one you love.
We’d spent all this time existing in a world, never the wiser that either of us was out there somewhere. Now, that we’ve found each other, I don’t want to be anywhere he isn’t. He’s the air I breathe and the song my soul sings. Like a bird sings in the morning, to let the others know it made it through the night, my soul will cry the song of his name until I can become one with him.
I sauntered to Grandpa’s pickup truck which I’d driven to work today and collapsed in the driver’s seat. The weight of all the work we’d done today had hit me and I was exhausted. I couldn’t wait to get home, cook Grandpa’s dinner, and get him ready for bed. He’d want to hear all about my day and I’d be happy to tell him…with the exception of the best part, I’d found the one. As sure as the sun rises and sets each day he’d be in my dreams tonight, at least in my dreams we didn’t have to say goodbye.
CHAPTER TWO
Over the next few weeks, I settled into a routine at my job. Jacobi and I would meet just after sunrise at the same spot every day; right in front of the market where the guests would g
ather to be driven to the orchard. After hooking up the buggies to the tractors, we’d sit and talk until the people would start to arrive. He’d tell me what his mother fixed for dinner the night before and I’d tell him how Grandpa was doing.
Unfortunately, as summer started to fade to fall Grandpa had grown weary of the world. He was having an increasingly difficult time getting around. Often times when I got home I’d find that he hadn’t moved from the same spot all day, the rocking chair next to his bed. If he did get brave and try to do something, I’d find he had fallen somewhere and I would help him up. I would tell him every day that I felt guilty for leaving him this way, and that I would quit my job at the farm in a heartbeat if he needed me to. He’d always insist he would be alright, then with a hug and a pat to my back I’d leave for the day.
The money I was making from the Hubbard’s had become essential for our survival. So, caught between taking care of the man I’d come to know as my father and falling in love with the boy of my dreams, my soul was conflicted. Nothing has happened with Jacobi and me yet, although the chemistry and attraction between us was running wild. Whether it’s a light brush of the hand or a forlorn glance as we pass one another during the day, it couldn’t be denied any longer. Something was bound to happen eventually, although we didn’t know how or when.
The only time where there aren’t eyes on us is when all the guests and other employees leave for the day. That’s the moment when things get really serious. After putting our tractors and the passenger cars away in one of the barns, we always retire down to the lakeshore to watch the clouds go by as Jacobi would say.
Tonight, as the sun set in the distance, wayward beams of light were casting shadows along the rolling hills of the farm, just the way it always does. The early October sky was highlighted in deep purple and red hues as Jacobi and I sat on the bank of the lake and stared out across the water. A few random ducks were swimming in blissful silence, hoping to catch a snack before nightfall.
I was all too aware of his leg against mine. He shifted and pulled the straps of his suspenders from his shoulders, then rubbed his neck with a sigh. “It sure was a hot one today.”
I wanted to reply as I glanced at him, “Not as hot as you.” But I held my tongue. He stood and began unbuttoning his shirt.
“What are you doing?” I asked as he turned his gaze to me.
He flashed me a half-smile as he mumbled, “That water sure does look good. I think I’m going to have myself a swim.”
His white button-up shirt slid from his arms to the ground as he undid his pants and let them slide down as well. My mouth went dry as I stared at his beautiful body, then licked my lips. My voice was low and slow as I rasped, “It does look pretty refreshing.”
He smirked at me, “Then what are you waitin’ for? Strip off your clothes and join me!”
Silence lingered between us for a moment as he stretched down his hand to help me up. I’d never trusted anyone more in my life; him standing there in his underwear was the stuff my boyish fantasies were made of.
I was suddenly all too aware of the delicate curves and lines that made up his figure. Everything from his perfect round butt to his perky package in front. Deep inside I prayed he’d shed that underwear and let me see him in all of his magnificent beauty. Before I could finish the thought, he slid them down and sprinted toward the water. A giant splash erupted as he dove in. The water from it splashed me and soaked my clothes through to where you could see through them.
He emerged, pushing his hair back and hooted with glee, “Woo, that’s cold!”
I smiled shyly and shook my head. His eyes were locked on mine as he danced in the water to keep afloat. “Come on, the water’s great!”
Again, I noticed how deep and blue his eyes were as he stared into my soul; silently wishing, hoping, praying, I’d join him. I knew he desperately wanted me to, but he’d never say it aloud. “Boys aren’t supposed to like boys,” he’d told me before when we got too close. But I couldn’t wait anymore.
I quickly stripped off my clothes and ran toward the water. This was it…if anything was going to happen between us, this was the moment…right here under the starlight sky. I emerged in front of him. Our faces were only inches apart, our breathing was shallow and labored. It was that moment, that moment where you’re not sure what to do.
It was dark now and the only light was that of the moon shining down on us and the occasional firefly. I stretched out my hand and rested it on his cheek. I wanted him…I wanted him more than anything I’d ever wanted in my life. My fingers formed a claw as I drug them softly down his cheek. He was looking down at my body, blurred by the cloudiness of the water, but you could still see everything.
Occasionally I could feel his dick pawing at my thigh and I could feel the smoothness of his skin on the tip of mine. In a rush of words, I whispered, “I’ve never felt this way before.”
He turned away and whimpered, “Don’t say such wicked things. Boy’s aren’t supposed to like boys in that way.”
I silenced him with a kiss, and he groaned with desire into my mouth as we slipped under the water. Our hands scrambled to make contact with one another’s skin. Our tongues darted in and out of one another’s mouths as we spun around in a magical dance.
All this time we’d played the game. We’d come so close, close enough to feel the heat of one another’s breath and the rise and fall of one another’s chests. All these penned-up frustrations of wanton desire were just unleashed with a simple kiss.
We swam to the shore and no sooner than I’d crawled up, he was on top of me…kissing me…touching me…loving me. He slid down lower; my closed eyes popped open at the feel of his mouth on me. I was under his control as my hips instinctively bucked with the rhythm of his pace; slow and steady slides tantalizing enough to make my skin crawl. I clutched his hair with my fingers, he gripped my hips with his hands. The sounds of cicadas and crickets were all around us. He came up momentarily for air and crawled back up my body.
This time, I took the opportunity to take the lead. I flipped him onto his back and stared down at him with wide-eyed wonder. He stretched his hands upward to hold my face then I closed my eyes again. I could feel his thumb caress my cheek; I could feel his fingers as they traced my lips. “I want them so,” he sobbed.
“Then they’re yours,” I sighed as I leaned into him.
He turned away, “No! We shouldn’t be doing this!”
I exhaled, “Please don’t stop…”
He threw me to the side, stood up, then grabbed his discarded clothes from the bank of the lake, “What is the price of my soul? I can’t risk eternal damnation for a tryst!”
I stood and opened my arms, “What are you saving yourself for? All we have is right now and if what we’re doing is a sin then I think the Lord will understand. How could the creator of humanity damn his children for falling in love?”
He shook his head, “You don’t understand. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This…this attraction! I should be able to control my own desires and emotions!”
I fired back, “You can no more control who you are attracted to than you can control which way the wind blows.”
I moved in closer, took his hand, then met his gaze as I whispered, “I am the wind and no matter how much you try to deny there’s something between us, I exist…the love we share for one another exists, all you have to do is take it.”
He stretched out his hand to touch my face, then recoiled, “I can’t…”
I pounced on his lips and held them until we couldn’t breathe. We separated and he sighed as he leaned his forehead against mine, “I won’t…”
Another kiss and I could feel the tension leaving his body as he murmured into my lips, “I mustn’t”
“Stop fighting it,” I whimpered.
That’s when he gripped the back of my neck with his hand and plunged his tongue into my open mouth. I fell back into the tall grass as his body closed out the last rays of moonlight separ
ating us. He was like a tornado ravaging my body…biting my neck…sucking my lips…grinding his hips into mine to get his feel.
We separated momentarily and whispered, “I can always ask forgiveness after?”
I nodded a silent yes and replied, “Whatever you need to take the guilt away.”
He traced my lips with his fingers again, “I don’t feel guilty for falling in love with you, I feel guilty for making you wait.”
“Oh Jacobi,” I sighed, “I’d have waited till the end of time for the chance to make you my man.”
He dove on my neck again as my chin tilted toward the sky and I moaned without shame, “Take me…take my body…all that I am is yours.”
And as he drifted lower again, I closed my eyes and whimpered in ecstasy till I came. The virgin boy I was had died and I was now a man, a man in love with an Amish farm boy.
It didn’t take long after I’d came before I pinned him to the ground and returned the favor. I started at his lips, savoring them in long breathtaking kisses. He’d pull away then I’d find them again. I couldn’t get enough; his love was like a hit to my body, a bullet straight into my heart, paralyzing me and accelerating me at the same time.
I moved to his neck and began nibbling away at the tender spot just below his ear. He grunted and whimpered in ecstasy as I started to go lower. He stopped me and pulled my face to his view, “Ollie, wait!”
“Is everything okay,” I panted.
He sighed, “I’m a virgin.”
I smiled, “So was I…”
Silence lingered for a moment before he cried, “You gave yourself to me?”
I nodded as he wrapped his arms around my neck and whispered, “Thank you for trusting me.”
The emotion and gratitude in his voice were more than my heart could stand. His love meant as much to me as it did to him. If by some tragedy things didn’t work out between us, nothing would ever be as special as this moment we shared; the moment we became men. I drifted slowly down his body, showering his abs with kisses on my way. I could feel him squirming beneath me with each impact of lips to flesh.
Under the Starlight Sky Page 2