“Zen? You all right, man?”
“What do you think?” he growled.
Kryos moved around him but didn’t get in his space. “I’ve seen the way you look at her. I think this could be a good thing.”
The guy was so caught up with his own mate he couldn’t see how far from a good thing this was. “You would give a defenseless female to me? What if I hurt her? I can’t…this can’t happen.” Shit, his voice broke on the last. He needed to get the hell out of there.
Chaos and Gunner looked away. Rocco, unable to hide anything, winced, but worst of all was the fucking pity Kryos was throwing his way. Fuck that. They already thought he was unstable and bloodthirsty. None of them would try to convince him to claim her.
“What are you gonna do?” Rocco asked.
He lifted his gaze and met each of theirs. “Not a dammed thing.”
“I don’t know. Maybe we have it all wrong?” Kryos said into the silence. “Finding your female has another effect on you that can’t be hidden, no matter how hard you try. Being constantly hard, accompanied by a severe case of blue balls, goes with the territory.” He cleared his throat. “You having that problem?”
Shame and humiliation caused him to dip his head once more, afraid they’d see it written all over his face. He’d never been drawn to another being the way he was Mia, but he couldn’t explain to them the reason he felt nothing but a twisted need he couldn’t define or control, or the reasons he could never claim her as his mate. He was half a male, and being anywhere near him would be like signing her death warrant.
“You’re wrong. I don’t want to fuck her.” The words felt torn from his throat. He knew it sounded crude, and he also knew if he was another male, and was privileged enough to be with her, that wouldn’t describe what they’d do together. No, if he had that honor, he would worship her like she deserved.
Low sounds of disapproval rumbled from all four males. The words hit their mark, ensuring they didn’t get any screwed-up ideas and try to push him down a path he could never take. Chaos cleared his throat. “You’re probably right, then.”
“Sensing her like I did must be a hell-born thing,” he said, knowing no one would question him further. His birth and early years were subjects they all knew to avoid.
Zenon didn’t stick around.
He had a mate; he knew that now, despite his denials. And if he’d been one of the others, he would have gone to her now and made her his. No hesitation like Lazarus. No fucking around.
When he hit the elevator, he couldn’t stop his hands from hitting the button to the floor he knew he should avoid. He should leave the compound until she was gone, but he couldn’t do it. Not now he knew who she was to him. He could never claim her for himself, he knew that. She would never be his, and would never know what she was to him. But before she left, he wanted one thing. Shit, he didn’t deserve it. But he would take this one thing for himself. Just this once.
Looking through the glass window into the training room a short time later, he found her, like he knew he would. She was alone, head down, concentrating on her blocking. He didn’t hesitate. A sense of urgency he couldn’t explain and had no intention of fighting had him pushing open the door. Her gaze lifted to his, and she didn’t look surprised, like she’d sensed him, too, and didn’t that just send his possessive instincts through the damn roof.
Mia had felt Zenon as soon as he stopped outside the door. He stared at her now, so much behind that haunted gaze, so many secrets, so much pain. But then he sucked in a breath and all she saw was longing. He didn’t speak, and took a measured step toward her.
“What are you doing?” she said, pulse picking up speed.
Another step closer.
“Zenon?”
She watched for a sign that his demon was in control, but his bright yellow gaze told her that wasn’t the case. The wild, almost feral expression was all Zenon.
“You’re leaving,” he said.
Oh God, his voice. So deep, rough. There was no anger, but a note of something else, something that caused her breath to hitch and her mouth to go dry. “Yes.”
His heavy thighs were braced apart, fists clenched at his sides. “Why?”
That one word hit her mid chest. “Zenon—”
“You’re leaving. Why?”
Because of you, because I can’t be in the same building as you and keep my distance another day. “I want to get on with my life.” Not a lie.
His head dipped and his hair fell forward, covering his scarred but beautiful face. He heaved in another breath then looked up. Jesus. Her sex pulsed at the raw need directed at her. Then he moved toward her, all lethal grace and untamed power. She backed up, but he kept coming. Didn’t stop until she felt the padded wall behind her. He didn’t touch her, but he was close enough to feel the volcanic heat radiating from his big body. She remembered the smooth heat of his skin under her palm, and another pulse of need hit her between the thighs.
“Zenon. What’s going on?” She lifted her hands, but he shook his head, telling her not to touch him.
“I have to do something, Mia.” As he spoke, the fierce mask fell away. He looked almost boyish then, shy, uncertain.
Licking her lips, she curled her fingers into the wall, trapping them behind her back. “Okay.” She didn’t know what was going on, but whatever was about to happen, she knew she wanted it.
“Please, just…you can’t touch me,” he said.
“I told you I wouldn’t,” she whispered.
He surprised her by running gentle, barely there fingers down the side of her face and across her jaw. “You’re beautiful.”
Was he going to kiss her? She didn’t move, didn’t breathe, wanting to taste him more than anything she’d ever wanted in her entire life.
His hands moved to the wall, either side of her head, and his gaze dropped to her mouth.
Oh my God.
He leaned in.
She forced herself not to squirm as his lips hovered above hers for several seconds, his breath mingling with hers. It took all her strength not to close the gap. But finally, he did, his lips coming down on hers, dry and soft and warm.
His entire body jerked at the contact, and he went completely still, breath puffing in and out of his nose.
Please, don’t stop.
But he didn’t. Slowly, ever so slowly, he opened his mouth. Mia’s heart was pounding when he finally made a rough sound and ran his tongue across her top lip.
She moaned.
His big body shuddered. “Open,” he said against her mouth.
She did as he asked, and his tongue slid inside. He kissed her deep and slow, and somehow she managed to keep her hands at her back and not shove them in his hair and hold him to her, or under his shirt to feel the heat of his skin. He savored her, explored, nipped and sucked until she was dizzy and her legs trembled.
When he finally pulled back, she wanted to scream. She didn’t know what had caused him to seek her out, didn’t care—all she knew was she didn’t want him to stop. Maybe she didn’t have to leave. Maybe he wanted her as much as she did him. People didn’t kiss like that without feeling something, right?
His head was down again and she couldn’t see his face. He was breathing heavily and his big body shook. “Zenon?”
“Thank you,” he rasped.
She blinked up at him. “For what?”
He shook his head.
He was thanking her with a kiss, like she had him. Only this was a whole hell of a lot more than the peck she’d given him.
Did he know the hold he had over her? He’d ignored her, literally pushed her away, and within a couple of weeks he’d shattered her defenses, had her ready to change all her carefully thought-out plans. Without even trying, and after doing his damnedest to make her hate him, he’d somehow become important to her.
But despite that kiss, she knew he would never let her in. Could already feel him pulling away. Desperation gripped her. “Zenon, I don’t have to g
o. I can stay.” With you. He sucked in a ragged breath and shook his head. God, she was such a fool. She wished she could tear those words back.
“You need to go, Mia.”
“What was this? Some kind of joke? Punishment?”
“I’m a selfish bastard. I just…I needed to know what it was like to kiss you before you left.”
His voice held so much pain it hurt to listen to him. “Why?”
He shook his head again. “I have to go.”
“Why, Zenon?” Her voice sounded shrill, panicked, and she couldn’t do anything to stop it.
He ignored her and stepped back.
Finally, he turned away and left.
And somehow she found the strength to stay where she was.
She would not go after him.
Chapter 7
Mia stood in the middle of her new apartment. It was huge, modern…cold.
She liked color, not that she’d gone crazy with a paintbrush at any of her other places, but still. Whoever decorated the place really had a thing for the whole minimalist vibe. White walls, big black marble fireplace, white carpet, and an oversized black leather couch. She kind of wished she was back in her tiny apartment—at least there she didn’t feel like a guest in her own home. None of the furniture was hers, and yeah, it was the nicest place she’d ever stayed, but it was just another place to sit and wait, wait for her real life to begin.
Her plans to move to Chicago were on hold indefinitely, at least until this power block thing cleared itself up, or was released, or unlocked, or whatever the hell had to happen so she could leave Roxburgh behind her.
After lugging her suitcase into the bedroom, she dumped it on the bed, flipped it open, and emptied it into the black lacquer dresser. Her very un-designer clothes looked about as out of place in the expensive-looking piece as she felt in the apartment.
Did Zenon have a place like this, a place to escape? She’d looked in every open door, down every hall, hoping for a glimpse of him as she’d left, even though she knew she shouldn’t, had promised herself she wouldn’t.
But that kiss.
She didn’t get it, didn’t understand how one minute he was shoving her away, telling her he didn’t want her, then the next pinning her to the wall, surrounding her, making her feel more desired, more wanted than she had her entire life.
She had to stop thinking about him. Yes, he’d kissed her, but he’d also made it clear that was all they would share. She hadn’t glimpsed him on her way out because he’d made sure he wasn’t around. That was for the best. It was.
All she knew was that she had to work out how to unlock this block on her powers so the knights would take her off their radar. Then she could put this all behind her—move on.
This thing, this pull she felt toward Zenon made no sense and went way beyond her fascination with the wild and untamed. Maybe it was some kind of hero worship? She’d fantasized about what the knights might be like, long before her sister came into her power, then she’d heard so much about them from Chaya after she had. She could admit to a small—okay, massive—amount of curiosity in regards to the half demon, half angel warriors entrusted with keeping not just her kind safe but humans as well.
But if that was the case, why Zenon? Why not Rocco or Chaos? It wasn’t like he was open or even friendly.
She shook her head. Enough turning this over and over in her mind. She had a bed to make and dinner to prepare. Tomorrow she’d start the hunt for a new job. She didn’t know how long she’d be stuck there, and living off the knights didn’t sit well with her. She paid her own way. Always had.
Dinner consisted of a grilled cheese sandwich and a can of Diet Coke, and after a quick text to Chaya, she showered, pulled on a pair of boxers and an old T-shirt that was worn and soft, and got ready for bed.
Her bedroom felt huge. It really was an amazing apartment, but she felt like a fish out of water in all this luxury. She could appreciate it, but it wasn’t her.
When she flicked off the lamp, lights from the city drew her to the small balcony off her room. Slipping on a sweater, she pulled open the doors and stepped out. The air was crisp and she wrapped her arms around herself. The light breeze ruffled her hair, making her shiver. Sounds of a city alive and humming drifted up to surround her.
She’d never felt more alone in her life.
Leaning against the railing, she looked down at people walking along the sidewalk, mice scurrying to their next destination. They had a purpose, a life. She should be with Chaya in Chicago right now. Instead she was stuck. Stuck in a city she didn’t know. Stuck in limbo. Again.
Then it all became too much, pressing down on her, a crushing weight she had no hope of escaping.
She didn’t hold back, let the emotion of the last few weeks come flooding out, and by the time she finished she was trembling and not just from the cold. Wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her sleeve, she turned to go back inside. But a feeling of being watched sent tingles across her skin, and she turned back to the railing.
She looked up and sucked in a breath.
Perched on the ledge of the opposite building was Zenon in all his full demon glory. The lights from the city glinted off his dark red skin, leathery black wings, and shiny horns. His white fangs looked almost fluorescent, and his bright yellow eyes glowed through the shadows.
He was magnificent. Terrifying and beautiful all at the same time.
Unmoving, he watched her right back. She stood frozen, couldn’t have moved if the building was burning down around her. His wings spread wide, revealing their impressive span, and with two powerful beats he lifted off and disappeared behind the clouds.
Mia ignored the low throb of need that flared in her belly, the urge to call after him. He wouldn’t welcome it. The knights had told her they’d keep an eye on her—that was all this was. It was the only reason he’d come.
Going back inside, she closed and locked the door and climbed into bed. She wrapped the heavy comforter around her to chase away the cold, a bone deep chill that she knew had nothing to do with the cool night air and everything to do with the male who had turned his back on her once again. How could he be so indifferent when everything in her screamed out for him?
She couldn’t think anymore tonight; it hurt too much. Closing her eyes, she let blissful darkness claim her.
Mia had been crying. No, she’d been sobbing. And he’d felt her pain across the short distance as if it were his own.
His gut twisted as he flew up into the cloud bank. Seeing her like that killed him, made him want to go to her. But even if he could, what would he do? He didn’t know the first thing about soothing females.
He’d said his goodbyes, even if she didn’t know the significance, would never know what she was to him. None of it mattered. He couldn’t keep her for himself. If Helena got even a whiff of Mia, she’d be out for blood—Mia’s blood. He didn’t care what she did to him, could take her punishments, but he would never put Mia in that kind of danger.
Even with the bitch confined, her powers half what they had been in hell, his mistress was still a serious threat to those around her. He would never allow that, would never let her lay a finger on Mia.
Arching up, he flew skyward, using energy he didn’t have to spare, then shot across the night sky to the other side of the city. Tucking in his wings tight to his back, he let himself plummet toward the Earth. The skyscrapers and cars closed in the more altitude he dropped, and he was rewarded with a short reprieve from the knots in his belly when his internal organs smashed against his spine from the velocity of the drop.
Snapping out his wings, he caught the air and with two powerful beats of his wings landed on a large balcony.
The doors into the penthouse were open, and dim light filtered through the gauzy curtains that hung there floating gently in the breeze.
As always, his mistress knew he was coming, had anticipated his visit.
Mia’s delicate pixie features flashed through hi
s mind, and he forced them back out. This was no place for her. It was too dangerous, even in his thoughts. She was everything good and right. This place held nothing but humiliation—pain.
As Zenon stumbled through the door, uncaring of his nakedness, his demon snarled and twisted. But when he breached the threshold it was forced back, suppressed. Helena knew better, had learned the hard way that Zenon’s demon would kill her if it got the chance. Bile rose in the back of his throat as his dick filled and hardened, jutting from his body like the evil bitch had wrapped her hand around it, leading him to her.
The very idea of touching her made him sick to his stomach, but when he was in her domain he was hers to control. That included his cock. She didn’t like anyone else touching him, and used her powers to make sure she had full control over who he did, and more importantly, did not fuck.
The pain had reached a point of no return, his skin burning like it was being peeled from his flesh. He was weak, had pushed himself to the limit. This was the longest he’d gone without coming to her, and he knew she’d make him pay for that as well. She didn’t like to be kept waiting.
He entered the room set up for their time together. She stood by the window, gazing out, her long black hair, sleek and glossy, hanging down her back. She wore a pale blue filmy robe that you could see the outline of her body through as clear as if she were standing naked. She turned, and he flinched, her huge black eyes pinning him to the spot.
Her gaze moved over his body, landing on his straining cock, and the scent of her arousal drifted over, surrounded him, making him want to gag. “Where have you been?”
“You know where I’ve been.” Not like he could go far.
She cocked her head to the side and studied him so thoroughly it sent a shudder of unease through his body. “I’ve been worried. What on earth could have kept you from me?”
Silas was the only one strong enough to control Helena and had her locked up tight in her ivory tower. She had no choice but to cool her heels and wait. She hated that more than anything.
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