by Logan Jacobs
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Chapter 1
Everyone always said that Mondays were the worst of all the seven days. Probably because they signaled the ending of a glorious weekend and the start of a not-so-glorious work week. Since I rarely had what most people would call a glorious anything, my least favorite days were Wednesdays.
“I’m dragging the little arrow across the screen, and it’s not moving!” the old woman barked through my earpiece.
Way-Back Wednesdays as we called them in the office, due to the fact that nearly everyone who called in was older than dirt. I had nothing against the elderly, but most of them had legitimate issues that even someone my age would struggle with. But then I get stuck with the old bitties that can’t even move their cursor across their screens.
“Ma’am, are you dragging the mouse on your desk?” I asked.
“No,” she snorted. “I’m dragging it across the screen like you told me to!”
I had to resist the urge to sigh. One of those, I see.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t explain myself properly.” Or I was speaking in Latin to her, I guess. “What you need to do is move the mouse across the surface of your desk. There’s a light at the bottom that reads that movement and will move the cursor--the little arrow--on your screen.”
She was breathing heavily into the mouthpiece of her phone. I could just barely hear the scratching of the mouse along some surface.
“Oh, there it goes!” Just like that, her voice was so much brighter. “That was really easy! Thank you so much!”
“Is there anything else I can help you with today, Ma’am?” I was so glad I didn’t have to plaster a fake smile when I said that over the phone.
“Not a thing! You’ve been such a dear,” she gushed. “Thank you again, Sebastian.”
I might have been a little too eager to hang up the phone. The clock on my own desktop said it was time for a quick break, but I stared at it for a moment and willed it to just jump ahead to clock out time and let me leave for the day. Nope. No superpowers for me.
My coworkers chatted as they made their way to the break room. I should have followed them, but I was dead tired. The next installment of my favorite game had dropped the night before, and like any decent gamer, I had stayed up far too late playing, and I was really dragging today.
Our break was only fifteen minutes long, but a quick nap would go a long way when dealing with all the Way-Backs still to come. I set an alarm on my phone, laid my head down on my arms, and I was asleep almost immediately.
It was all too soon that a chiming noise filled my ears and dragged me from my slumber. I let out a groan and reached my arms up to stretch. My left hand hit something hard on the way up, and when I turned to see what it was, I realized that I was not in the office anymore.
I was laying on my back on some kind of cold platform that was a far cry from the hard desk I had face-planted on. The ceiling was made out of some kind of rock, and the light kept dancing in orange, yellow, and red across its surface. It definitely wasn’t sunlight coming through the windows, but my first thought was a torch or flame and that made about as much sense as the cold bed I was on.
“I see you have finally risen, O Great One,” a male voice declared.
The voice belonged to an older guy who would have fit right in at an anime convention. He was tall and lanky with paler skin than mine, and his bald head was covered in the kind of tattoos I had only seen on elf characters in video games. The long gray robe he wore was open in the front because of the way he held his arms out. In his right hand, he held a long staff. In his left, a curved dagger.
Several other men stood nearby, and I leaned from one side to the other to count. Fourteen men in the room, aside from the sorcerer and myself, and they all wore some form of leather armor. Most were covered from neck to toes, with even their hands shoved into leather gloves, but some of them sported a leather cap or had their legs and arms exposed for easier movement. Every single one of them had a sheath on either side of their belts of varying lengths. Most were long enough to be swords, but a handful had to be daggers.
“I am Raijin Thornheart, the greatest sorcerer in all the land,” he said with a bow. A fake name if I ever heard one. “Are you ready to begin?”
“Begin?” I sat up and glanced around the room. “What are you talking about? Where am I?”
I definitely wasn’t in Kansas. And I could knock off Oz, too.
“You are in the Great Catacombs of Legend, of course!” The sorcerer gestured to the room around us, as if I was just pulling his leg with my questions. “And I, Raijin Thornheart, have summoned you for your greatest purpose.”
I was probably just dreaming. That made perfect sense. I shook my head at Raijin Thornheart. Seriously, could he have picked a name more ridiculous?
“Greatest purpose, sure, and what would that be?” I turned on the stone bed. It was raised up from the rest of the floor and up a set of stairs from the so-called sorcerer. I had never had a lucid dream before, but it couldn’t hurt to play it all out, right?
His face twisted into a grin that made me shrink back. “Why, to die at my hands, of course! Your power will enhance my own, and I shall be truly unstoppable. It should be an easy task, looking at your pitiful form. I expected you to be more…” The sorcerer tilted his head slightly as he looked me up and down. “You are not what I was expecting at all.”
That wasn’t what a guy wanted to hear. Shouldn’t my dreams be filled with hot women telling me how amazing I am? How did I get stuck with this Voldemort-face-tattoo-cosplay-weirdo instead?
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on here,” I said as I rose to my feet. “You obviously have the wrong guy, so I’ll let you try again.”
“You cannot outsmart me, O Great One.” The sorcerer shook his head, chuckled, and handed his staff to one of the men standing beside him. “I called for you and here you are. Your pitiful visage is clearly an attempt to discourage me from taking your life. You cannot fool me.”
“I mean…” I chuckled. “Whoever put those dumbass tattoos on your face already fooled you, soooo…”
“What?” His face twisted into a snarl as he lunged for me.
“Dream chase scene!” I jumped to the left to avoid him and then tried to weave my way through his men.
“Get him!” The first man dug his fingers into my wrist, but I slipped free as I laughed.
Then I made it two steps before I slammed into a second man who was built like a brick wall. He held my arms down as a third came up on my left.
“Ohhh… Nice dagger you got there,” I snickered as I saw one of the leather-clad goons hold his dagger up, but then he shoved it in my side, and agonizing heat filled my chest.
Oh shit. That actually hurt, and I stared down at my white button up shirt as the color turned red around the dagger the asshole had shoved into me.
Wait. This wasn’t a dream? Shouldn’t I have woken up?
“Owwieee,” I gasped. “What the fuck?”
“You thought you could escape me?” Raijin cackled as his goons turned me around to face him. “Put him back on the sacrificial dais.”
“Yes, master,” one of the men holding me said, and then they began to pull me toward the stone bed I’d woken up on.
“Wait!” I groaned as I felt my legs start to go numb. “What the fuck is going on? I thought this was a dream! You can’t fucking kill me. How is this--”
“It’s all ab
out power.” The sorcerer lifted both of his hands above his head as soon as his men yanked me onto the platform, held the dagger in both hands, and plunged it down into my chest. “And now yours is mine.”
It was as if I had jumped into an inferno after taking a shower in gasoline. Every inch of my body burned with such intensity that I couldn’t believe I was still alive to feel it. I opened my mouth to scream but no sound came out.
Just as quickly as it began, it was all over. Darkness seemed to press in on me from all sides. The burning feeling was gone, and I felt numb by comparison. I couldn’t move my arms or legs, but I figured I was still asleep. My heart slammed against my ribcage as I tried to take slow deep breaths. It had been the most vivid dream I had ever had in my life, and I would be happy to never experience it again.
The chiming of my alarm rang in my ear. Time to wake up.
“I see you have finally risen, O Great One.”
I opened my eyes and turned to see Raijin Thornheart standing just a few feet away with that terrifying grin on his face. The cold rock beneath me, the flickering torches, the minions standing at the ready. It was all the same as it had been just a few minutes ago.
I wasn’t back in the office.
“What the fuck?” I asked as I blinked my eyes against the torchlight.
“I am Raijin Thornheart, the greatest sorcerer in all the land.” Raijin bowed, just as he had before. “Are you ready?”
“You already said that?” I asked.
“Huh?” he raised an eyebrow as he came up from his bow.
“You already introduced yourself and then killed me or something?” I asked. “This is the fucking weirdest dream. Also hurt like hell. Are you--”
“I can assure you that this is no dream, O Great One,” the sorcerer growled. “Now that you are here, I will sacrifice you on this altar, and your power will become mine.”
“Uhhhh… Okay?” I cleared my throat. “But… like… this already happened?”
It wasn’t just a coincidence. It was literally happening all over again. My heart continued its abuse to my ribcage and was practically screaming for its freedom.
This baldass tattooed motherfucker had just killed me.
And he was about to do it again.
“You cannot fool me with your riddled talk,” he said with his twisted grin. “You will die now!”
I jumped to the left as Raijin lunged for me. The three minions that had caught me before surged forward.
“Not this time, bitches!” I danced around them, easily dodging the dagger from the third as he came up beside me. A fourth snatched the collar of my shirt, and it ripped as I tore away from him.
Two more converged on me, and I managed to dodge one, but the second got his arm around my neck and pinned me to his chest.
Nobody came up and stabbed me in the side this time, but everything else played out the same. I was dragged before Raijin, the sorcerer brought his dagger down into my chest, and I was filled with the intense heat and pain that I would feel for a thousand lifetimes.
And then the chime.
“I see you have finally risen, O Great One.”
“Son of a bitch,” I groaned as I blinked my eyes open and looked again at Overzealous Goth-Punk Voldemort.
It was immediately clear that third time that I was not dreaming. I was stuck in some kind of bizarre loop that kept bringing me back to life just a few minutes before my death. How was I supposed to live if I kept dying? Was I just supposed to repeat this agony for the rest of eternity? Everyone always said Hell was filled with fire. I always thought they meant literal fire and not the searing pain I had endured.
Raijin the sorcerer did his little monologue and then lunged for me. I managed to get past the first two sets of his minions that had stopped my escape before I was captured once again. Another dagger to the heart, another round of hot agony, and I was on the dais once more.
Then the chime.
I didn’t even wait for Raijin to introduce himself. The moment the feeling returned to my limbs, I vaulted from the stone dais and tore a path to the right. Everyone in the room shouted as they tried to stop me, of course, but the guys on the left had all been successful in every previous try. The goons on the right might be more incompetent and could be the key to getting out.
The first guy tried the same wrist move as the guy on the left path, and I dodged him without even trying.
Maybe the two sets of minions would react the same no matter which path I chose?
A second man was waiting for me to slam into him, just as on the left, but a third came out of nowhere and body-slammed me.
I crumpled to the floor under his weight and smashed my head against the stone floor. Dark stars danced in my vision, and I swayed as I was yanked to my feet and dragged across the room.
Raijin the Sorcerer sounded like he was in a tunnel as he spoke and cackled.
Then he plunged the dagger into my chest and my world became fire and pain.
Chime.
“I see you have finally--” the sorcerer began.
“Oh, go fuck yourself, Raijin!” I roared.
I rolled from the dais and lunged at the sorcerer before he could begin his irritating monologue. His eyes widened as I slammed into him and knocked him to the ground. The dagger skipped across the floor upon impact. He still had his staff, but he hadn’t used magic on me in the other respawns.
Maybe the staff was the key.
I snatched the magical item from his hands with ease, and he didn’t even put up a fight for it.
The men in the room staggered away from us as I stood over their fallen leader. Fear seemed to be filling the room, and for once, it wasn’t mine.
“This ends here, you bastard!” I hissed.
I lifted the staff and closed my eyes. Magic worked differently in all the video games I had ever played, but focusing on the sorcerer exploding from the inside and spraying everyone with blood and body goo seemed like a good place to start. I could see it behind my eyes. My agony would become his. I would beat him using the very weapon that made him a sorcerer. I would escape this stone room and see what crazy world I had been summoned to. And maybe find a way back home.
It couldn’t have been more than a minute that I stood there with the staff over my head. Nothing happened.
“Did you think it would be so easy, O Great One?” Raijin cackled from beneath me and wrapped a bony hand around my ankle.
I was basically holding a fancy wooden rod. It wasn’t going to perform any great magical feat, but it wasn’t completely useless. I held the staff in both hands and brought it down on the sorcerer’s head. He blocked at the last second and gripped the staff just below the glowing rock at the very tip of it. I brought my foot back to give him a swift kick, but his minions converged on us and tore me away.
“Well… that was an amusing attempt.” The sorcerer rose to his feet, took his dagger from the minion that retrieved it, and cackled at me.
Then he plunged the dagger into my chest, and all I knew was the fire.
Chime.
“I see you have finally risen, O Great One.”
“Fucking shit,” I groaned. I had to figure this out. For some twisted reason, I had been summoned from my office chair to lay on a stone dais in some sort of great catacomb. There were plenty of catacombs on Earth, but none of them were around where I worked, and I doubt any of them had assholes like Raijin conducting villain monologues. Besides, how would I have made it from my office chair to some underground crypt without remembering how I got there? I wasn’t a sleep-walker, and even if my coworkers were assholes, this was a bit too extreme for a prank.
Plus there was the whole respawning thing that only happened in video games. Virtual reality games had come a long way in my time, but the pain was too real for it to just be a game.
This was going to be my life if I didn’t come up with a way to escape.
“I am Raijin Thornheart, the greatest sorcerer in all the land.” The sorcerer
bowed, again. “Are you ready?”
It didn’t seem to matter if I got to my feet or even looked at the sorcerer. He was running on some kind of script, and he was clearly eager to kill me and take my power. So far, all I had the power to do was die, and that couldn’t be what he was talking about.
“Fine,” I sighed as I rolled to face him. “Let’s just get this over with.”
The sorcerer cackled as he lunged forward. Going to the right, left, and forward had all gotten me killed. I rolled to the back of the dais and the scratch of a metal dagger on stone shrieked a moment before Raijin the Sorcerer did.
“Get him!” he shouted.
The minions surged forward and quickly blocked off the exits to the left and front. I darted to the right and punched the first guy that got in my way. The crunch could have been his face or my hand, but pain rattled from my knuckles to my elbow on impact, so I guessed it was me.
The men started following me behind the dais, but there were more behind me than there were in front of me. I dodged a man with a dagger, slipped from the grasp of a burly minion, and turned to see the exit wide open before me.
Warmth seeped through me from my heart, as if it was telling me to run as fast as I could and get out of this place. I didn’t need the encouragement and tore ass to the room’s only exit.
I didn’t even make it to the threshold. Three of the men hadn’t followed behind the dais and slipped into my path at the last moment, so I skidded to a halt to avoid crashing into them. The rest of the group converged on me and I was captured.
“Fuck!” I cursed.
Every respawn was exactly the same: I woke up, Raijin ranted, I tried to escape, I died. I tried the backward tactic several more times since I had been so close to my freedom. Those three guys always got in my way, and even when I did try to bowl them over, they were made of tougher stuff than I was and merely stood their ground.
Every death seemed like it was more than I could endure. My heart never stopped pounding in my chest after that first death. Eventually, it would just beat so hard that it either broke my ribs or stopped beating altogether. It wasn’t humanly possible to be killed hundreds of times and have your heart keep beating.