To my surprise, Finn stripped off his own shoes and socks, leaving them on the outcropping of rock next to mine, then placed our helmets next to them. I shouted excitedly at the idea of spreading our wings and shedding our inhibitions. For the next two hours, we zipped along the shoreline, Finn playfully swerving in and out with the rolling of the waves, getting our bare feet wet with the chilly water while the cool wind of the day ruffled our hair. It was liberating and invigorating
When we finally returned to Finn’s quiet spot, I was shivering from the cold, my poor feet nearly frozen solid, but I was elated. After we put our shoes back on, I threw myself at Finn, assaulting him with a giant hug.
“Thank you so much for today! I haven’t let go like this in such a long time. It was nice to just be one with the great outdoors,” I exclaimed, feeling as though our prior conversation was far in the past. There wasn’t anything a good ride couldn’t cure.
“And about 250 pounds of terrain-grinding metal and rubber,” Finn said with a laugh as he pulled back but kept his arms around me.
“Hey, there’s no better way to center yourself,” I exclaimed, joining in his laughter as I playfully swatted his hard, muscular chest.
“I don’t know… I might have a different idea or two,” he replied, his dazzling grin giving way to something different as his eyes softened. Time seemed to stop, and my entire world tunneled to the sight of Finn unconsciously licking his lips as he inclined his head toward me. I parted my own subconsciously, just a fraction of a second before his soft, supple mouth met mine.
Fire. Hot and seductive, it danced through my veins, scorching me from the inside out. I felt wild and liberated, our surroundings and circumstances evaporating around us as though they never existed. I didn’t question whether it was a good idea to be in Finn’s arms again. His tales of his past could still be an elaborate ruse to set me up, but he’d convinced me his motives were pure. With the flavor of his kisses heavy on my lips, I pushed against him, trying to get closer. I let the backpack slide down my arms to land at my feet before I clutched the sides of his neck and poured my feelings into him. I wanted him to feel my gratitude for the day of freedom away from my brother and his crew, that I was touched he shared his story with me, and I believed he was a changed man. His father was to blame, not him. If I didn’t know better, I would have insisted he felt and understood all my emotions at the moment as his grip tightened and his kisses grew more impatient. He wanted me. The knowledge thrilled and enticed me yet struck a harsh chord of panic deep in the pit of my stomach. I accepted I wanted him, too, despite my vows and private declarations to never get involved again—especially not with a racer. I struggled to make rational sense of a situation that bordered on desperate. I knew I should be smarter, but little by little, without my noticing, Finn Hawkins had gotten his hooks into me.
His hand slid up the length of my spine to cradle the back of my head as he leaned over me, lowering me to the ground, my body settling uncomfortably on the irregular surface of the beach. I didn’t mind the little dips and valleys as long as my body was in contact with Finn’s. I was ablaze, my temperature steadily climbing and threatening to consume me while my own hands betrayed me by fisting his shirt and dragging him ever closer. If this was the reaction I had to Finn’s kisses, I would gladly burst into flames for the next one. Burn, baby, burn. I writhed beneath Finn’s strong body, eager to fuse every part of myself with him. I heard a whisper in the back of my head, warning me to slow down, but the sound of my heart thudding in my chest drowned everything else out.
Everywhere he touched me, tiny zaps of electricity sizzled on my skin. I’d never felt so hot, achy, or aroused. Wrapping my legs around his hips, with a strength I didn’t know I possessed, I flipped him, so he was pinned beneath me. I crawled my way up his chest to bury my nose in the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply, taking nips of the smooth, velvety skin there. I could live happily in that seductive valley, lost in the entire experience of being in his arms. I ground my hips roughly against his, feeling the steely hardness of his erection crushed between us. I was startled by his low growl.
“Careful, now. I’m hoping to father children with someone someday,” Finn chuckled hoarsely.
“Are you seriously complaining?” I hissed playfully as I jumped to my feet and pointed a finger at him.
“I wouldn’t call it complaining so much as providing helpful instructions.” Reaching up for me, he tried to pull me back into his grasp. I replied with a forceful but good-natured shove backward.
“You are feisty!” Finn chortled as he stood and grabbed my hand, pulling it to his lips. He left a light kiss on the backs of my fingers that sent my heart fluttering even more. “You need to dial it down some princess, or you’ll be looking for a ride home.”
“You’d never leave me behind,” I insisted, though I didn’t know where my certainty came from. Was he that into me, or was I choked with self-importance now that my secret crush was showing me attention? That little voice in the back of my head was still whispering warnings to me.
“You’re right, I wouldn’t,” Finn replied as he adjusted the collar of my blouse. “But don’t think I wouldn’t make you suffer endlessly while I had you in my clutches.”
The idea of being in Finn’s strong hands was enough to make me moan, but I managed to keep my dignity with a slight cough to clear my throat. God help me, it was hard to hold out against him. Even my fears of public shame couldn’t override my attraction and response to Finn. I needed to keep my distance, to spare myself the unwanted attention. Yet there I was, all but begging for him to take me somewhere dark and private. I gave myself a discreet face slap and decided it was time to make my escape.
“It’s getting late,” I said, changing the topic and motioning to the hazy clouds that were beginning to form on the horizon. “I’m not sure the weather is going to be too kind to us on the way back. We should get a move on, don’t you think?”
“I’ll never voluntarily agree it’s time to take you home. I want to keep you.” Finn wrapped a hand around the back of my neck and pulled me in for one final, mind-blowing, toe-curling kiss. I was out of breath and clinging to his shirt to keep my balance when it was done.
“Let’s go,” I whispered hoarsely as I ran a hand through my hair. I wanted to stay in the worst way, to hide from the world for as long as we could, but I needed to keep my head. I was on fire for Finn, and staying away from him was probably a losing proposition, but I would fight to the bitter—or sublime—end. I wasn’t going to fuck up my entire life again, not for a rider, even if he did seem to be the opposite of Dalton. I doubled down on my vow to never date again. Finn might be a dream come true, but I wasn’t going to gamble with my heart or reputation again.
Winding through the streets of Orange County on our way back to Kenni’s motel, I was hoping to prolong our time together. I didn’t know what I could accomplish with her parked on the back of my bike and both with helmets on. It wasn’t as though we could continue a meaningful conversation, but I didn’t want her to leave my side. Just the feel of her at my back gave me an unparalleled sense of peace—what would it be like to sink into her and never come up for air? I bared my soul to her about Jayden, yet she barely blinked an eye. Somehow, some way, the gods had finally decided to smile on me and put this tremendous woman in my path. Whether she knew it or not, she was mine, even though I was nowhere near good enough for her. I was ready to play the selfish bastard, one more time, if it meant I could have Kenni by my side. I just needed to formulate a plan to get her to jump all-in with me.
I ran out of side roads to trek down without getting lost, so I pointed my bike back in the direction of her motor hotel. Pulling up in front of the second-floor staircase that reached the parking lot, Kenni hopped off the back, instantly leaving me feeling the heaviness she’d chased away earlier. She came beside me as she took off her helmet, then handed it to me.
“Thanks for a great afternoon, Finn,” she said softly as she
prepared to mount the stairs.
“You’re welcome,” I growled, grabbing her hand and pulling her back toward the bike. “You’re not going anywhere yet.”
I lifted a hand, fisting it and tangling my fingers in the fine hairs at the nape of her neck before slanting my mouth roughly over hers. I put my all into it—every ounce of passion, desire, need, desperation, and hunger pouring from me in lustful waves as I roamed her mouth freely and without reservation. I felt her go slack, her knees giving way as her body sagged against mine. I smiled secretly, claiming my first minor victory. Feeling that small act of helplessness, I tightened my grip and tore my lips from hers.
“I have you, Kenni,” I rasped, my voice suddenly hoarse with more emotions, ones I typically tried to avoid. “Just let go. I’ll take care of you.”
The response I received was nothing like I expected. She wound her arms around my neck and leaned almost the entire weight of her slender body against me. I deepened the kiss further, almost going as far as hauling her back onto my bike, laid over my lap. Groaning as a vision of her splayed out in front of me, balanced between my thighs and the handlebars, swam in front of me. What I wouldn’t have given to make that fantasy a reality, but I was yanked from my carnal daydream by the sound of someone exiting one of the rooms.
“Jesus, Kenni!” Matt’s voice echoed down the open hallway of the upper floor, startling her, causing her to jump away, abruptly severing our connection.
I’d gotten so caught up in the kiss, if I’d been a teenage girl, I would have wept. What was this woman doing to me? Gathering my wits, I leaned back, watching Matt as he jogged down the staircase. I opened my mouth to say something smart-assed, but Kenni beat me to the punch.
“Matt, why don’t you mind your own business for once?” she sneered as she pushed past her brother and stomped to her room. Finally, Matt turned to me, his face still red and angry. I gave him my best smirk, donning my helmet just as he started to speak.
“What?” I shouted back, the sound muffled as I revved the engine on the bike. I motioned to the side of my helmet near my ear. “Sorry, I can’t hear you.”
I watched as Matt took a deep breath, clearly trying to keep his temper under control, but he began to visibly sputter.
“See you at the finish line, Michaels.” I saluted him before flipping my helmet visor down and speeding away. I chuckled to myself the whole way home.
***
I was up early the next morning, grinding it out with Channing on the track until my arms were like noodles and my ass was numb. I was praying the feeling returned before race time on Saturday. We knocked off around noon, so I could keep a dinner appointment I made with my former counselor from The House, the group home I lived in after I got away from my father. Rylee Donavan was my first real crush. She’d welcomed me in, never pressured me to talk, never asked for a thing from me, in fact. I still harbored a secret crush on her, but it wasn’t the puppy love of my teenage years. Now, Rylee was more the standard I’d set for every woman who crossed my path once I’d achieved adulthood. We remained in touch, Rylee being much better about it, but in the years since she’d gotten married to the renowned Formula One driver, Colton Donavan, our visits had become less and less frequent, dwindling to only a handful of times a year. It was probably better—Colton was aware of my crush and had more than once reminded me he’d totally kick my ass if I blinked twice at his wife.
I’d called ahead, so I wasn’t surprised when I found Rylee waiting on the front porch for me, a young boy, probably four years old, standing next to her with his arm wrapped around her thigh. He looked like he wanted to disappear, his expression empty yet haunted. I knew that look. I’d seen it in the mirror nearly every day after my mother died.
“Hey,” I greeted, walking up the sidewalk in front of the house where I’d spent the last two years of my childhood. How ironic to think the happiest years of my life were spent in a foster home.
“How did you manage to get Ralph to let you come out here when you have a race the day after tomorrow?” she asked as she greeted me with an awkward, one-armed hug, trying not to dislodge the child at her knee.
“I didn’t,” I replied sheepishly. “I figure it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to get his permission.”
“I’m sure he loves that,” she murmured, a bemused smile on her face. She loved Ralph as much as she loved me, maybe more so because he was the second person I found I could count on, after her.
“Who’s this?” I knelt to get eye level with the scrawny little boy. He shoved his two middle fingers in his mouth and scooted behind Rylee. I didn’t make a move, staying right where I was, quietly hoping to engage him.
“This is Corey,” she said quietly as she turned to lift the slight child into her arms and resting him on her hip. “He’s almost six, aren’t you, big guy?”
I stood to look at him again, wondering what he’d been through, small and underweight as he was, and if I could help. Corporate Cares, The House’s parent company, had done so much to help me onto a better path, one far away from my father, while making sure I still developed other interests. Rylee helped me cultivate my new, clean image by insisting I help her manage a Boy Scout Troop at the house. Looking at Corey, I wanted to do more. Be more.
“How long has he been here?”
“Hmm. It’s been about a month now, hasn’t it, Corey?” she asked, looking to him for confirmation. He nodded quickly as though he monitored the calendar daily, still sucking away on his fingers.
“Corey, do you like motorcycles?” I asked after a moment of genius. He gave another furious head bob, so saying a silent apology to Rylee and Colton’s son, Ace, I handed over the toy motorcycle I’d bought for him on my way over. “That’s for you. I race motorcycles, you know.”
The fingers slid out of his mouth as his jaw dropped, and I chuckled quietly as he looked me up and down as though he didn’t believe it.
“Scout’s honor,” I swore, my hand raised in the Boy Scout salute.
“This is my friend, Finn. He used to live here once upon a time, too,” Rylee interjected quickly, leaping onto Corey’s obvious yet cautious interest. “He’s also, like, the best Boy Scout in the whole world. They even gave him an award.”
“It was one merit badge, Rylee,” I replied dryly.
“I wanted to be a Cub Scout,” Corey offered shyly, his little fingers venturing back toward his mouth. “But now the nearest troop’s gone.”
“We’re looking for another one nearby. At worst, we’ll start our own just like I did for Finn, don’t you worry.”
“Yeah! The Boy Scouts are everywhere. In the meantime, if Rylee tells me you’ve behaved, the next time I come by, I’ll tell you more about bikes like that one.”
“I promise!” he declared loudly, holding the toy up like it was a diamond. Rylee’s eyes lit up as she looked at me, then glimmered with the beginnings of an idea I was sure she thought was brilliant. I wasn’t so certain I’d agree.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I muttered under my breath, so Corey wouldn’t hear.
“Oh, I have you on the hook now, Finn. You just wait, your time is coming. For now, let’s get Corey here something to eat before we have to leave for our own dinner.”
“I already said I’d volunteer for your annual auction. I’m thrilled to be a part of Colton’s Race to the Top program, even if I have to sell my body to do it,” I replied, following her into the house, through a million and one chores, all the while dodging a handful of boys between the ages of six and sixteen. Corey was satisfied with a dinner of mac and cheese and grape Kool-Aid, while an unfamiliar coworker of Rylee’s served an equally unfamiliar pasta dish to the rest of the kids.
“It’s good to see some things never change. This place is just as crazy as when I lived here,” I confided to Rylee as we walked to my truck.
“How could it be anything else with six growing boys at any given time?”
“Excellent point. Now tell me, how
are your other boys doing?” I asked though I knew I’d see them both shortly. She launched into a long dissertation about all the newest happenings with the kids. I listened raptly, chuckling as she recounted a funny story about Zander trying to convince Colton to let him take a car around the track for just one lap.
“For practice, he said. Can you believe it?” Rylee stated incredulously, shaking her head, so her springy brown curls bounced around her face. She elaborated on Zander’s vehemence that he wanted to be just like Colton. After all the pain and loss the Donavan family had been through, I could imagine Colton doing everything he could to dissuade his son of his life plans.
The image made me chuckle aloud as I drove through the wide front gate to the enormous house Rylee and her family called home.
To my surprise, Colton was in the kitchen with another little boy, this one much more robust than Corey. It was obviously Ace, so that wasn’t what surprised me. What did was the terrible dancing they were doing to the sounds of Van Morrison’s Brown-Eyed Girl, which echoed through the house on invisible speakers. I was further impressed Colton was doing it while cooking a pot full of something that looked suspiciously like spaghetti sauce. I briefly considered snapping a picture, then quickly changed my mind. Colton could still kick my ass.
“Hey, Hawk,” he called out mockingly. “How’s life on two wheels?”
“A lot prettier than those four fat bald ones you race around on,” I joked back. “Truly, it couldn’t be better.”
“Is that because Ogilvie is out of the game?” He quirked a brow at me as Rylee joined in the dance, smiling and twirling around. I smirked at the pure joy on her face—Ace was their miracle.
Ride: A Driven World Novel Page 6