“You don’t get to do that. You can’t manhandle me, Finn Hawkins.” A distinct slur crept into her words as she poked her index finger into my chest. She was fascinated for some reason. Her eyes narrowed as she watched her fingertip press into my pec three more times.
“Did you find something you’re interested in?” I asked, amusement tinging my voice.
“What? No. Don’t you laugh at me,” she moaned as she slugged me hard in the shoulder.
“What’s with all the violence?” I was getting concerned as her mood rapidly shifted into low gear.
“You riders are all the same. You think you can tell a girl pretty words, buy her drinks, give a few sexy winks, and that’s all it takes.”
“All it takes to what?” I asked, not sure what she was getting at, but was certain the next few minutes were going to be very delicate ones in our growing relationship.
“To sweep a girl off her feet, of course. What else could I possibly mean?” She hiccuped.”I’ll have you know I’m not easy Finn Hawkins!”
Her voice grew louder with every word, and she punctuated the last sentence with more poking at my chest.
“Sweetheart, nothing about you is easy. I already know that,” I muttered under my breath, but was secretly thrilled to know I was making some headway with her. I weren’t, she wouldn’t be kicking up such a fuss.
“Just make sure you don’t forget it,” she slurred, pointing at me before crossing her arms over her chest and looking at me with an expression I was sure was supposed to look menacing, but looked more like a pissed off kitten.
“You don’t get to hurt me, Finn Hawkins,” I said, sidestepping his original question as I waved a drunken hand in his general direction. “I’ve known too many of your type.”
“Kenni, what’s gotten into you? This was just supposed to be a nice game of pool and a way to unwind after a stressful week. What happened?”
“You think I’m easy now that we’ve slept together. You even said it yourself, you think I’m a dirty girl.” My eyes filled with tears as my disappointment descended. I’d thought he was different, but somehow, he knew and was as disgusted as everyone else.
“Kenni, I swear I have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t say that. I asked if you were a bad girl. Playfully, I might add.”
“Oh, hell, what’s the difference?” I cried, my voice cracking as the tears flooding my eyes began to roll down my cheeks.
“A huge one!” he exclaimed as he got close enough to throw his arms around me, just as I was about to crumple to a heap on the pavement. “I’ve got you.”
I blubbered in earnest, my emotions zipping from one pole to another as I alternated between laughing and crying. I was sure Finn believed I was a lunatic, but I couldn’t get the words out fast enough.
“You’re like, him. Like Dalt. You think I’m stupid,” I hiccupped. “You think you can manipulate my mind. You’re wrong.”
I’d meant he got the wrong impression of me, but as soon as the words were past my lips, I broke down completely. Finn had no idea what I’d done. He didn’t have the first clue how worthless I was. I sobbed, the sound tortured and painful even to my own ears. I was so pathetic.
“Here, shhh...” Finn crooned into my ear as he swept me up in his arms and gently deposited me in the driver’s side of the truck. He urged me to scoot to the far edge of the seat so he could slide in under me. When he finally had me arranged comfortably on his lap, he pressed my head to his shoulder. “It’s okay, Kenni, you can lean on me. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m here to help you sort out whatever’s troubling you.”
“You’re troubling me! It’s only a matter of time before you wake up and see me for what I am.”
Finn stroked my hair as I blabbered on, sniffling and wiping my nose in a very undignified way. I soaked the neck of his shirt with my tears, and quite possibly some drool, from my intoxicated ramblings. He stopped trying to get a straight answer out of me, opting to just hold me tightly in his embrace until I ran out of steam. I had no idea how much time had passed, but I was surprised when the bar sign in front of the building blinked off. I looked at Finn in surprise.
“We shut the place down.” He lifted the console and slid me onto the passenger seat. “However, I’m not ending the night like this, not just yet.”
The motor purred as he shifted into gear and navigated us back to the highway. I snuck sideways glances at him, mortified what he must think of me—unhinged, or at the very least, paranoid. I looked around, not recognizing the area, and made myself look even more foolish.
“Where are you taking me?”
“To get some rest, Kenni. You’re not in any shape to be alone, and the last thing I need is Matt seeing me carry his shit-faced sister to her room. I’m taking you to mine, where I’ll tuck you in and lie next to you until sunrise. Okay?”
His words were polite, but his tone wasn’t so much someone who wanted permission, but who dared me to object. His eyes were stern enough to make me think twice about arguing, so I simply nodded and stared at the road ahead.
Finn’s hotel was all the way across town, closer to the stadium where the races had been held. Matt and I were pinching pennies even harder since he forked twenty thousand over to Dalton. The additional eight miles from our hotel to the event was nothing, considering the forty dollars we saved each night. I felt the regret heavy in my chest—if only I hadn’t been so naïve.
When he pulled into a parking space, Finn gave me another sober look, instructing me without words to stay in place. He was on my side in a flash, opening the door and once again, scooping me into his arms. I should have put up a fight, but my adrenaline was fading away, replaced with an overwhelming sense of exhaustion. I let him carry me all the way into his room and beyond, to the pillow-topped mattress in the room. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
***
Finn smuggled me back into my room the following day without my brother any the wiser. I was grateful he didn’t bring up my emotional breakdown. I just wanted to pretend I was a sloppy drunk and forget the whole incident ever happened. It seemed I was bound and determined to sabotage myself one way or another, so I sent him off with a hug and a peck on the cheek, hoping he’d move on to someone less complicated, yet completely terrified he would. No matter what I did, though, he kept texting and calling once we returned home from Georgia.
“Kenni!” Matt hollered as he pounded on my bedroom door, waking me from a deep sleep. We’d been home for almost a week, and Matt was obsessing over his most recent loss to Finn. I was the only person he could vent to, so more often than I cared to admit, I was my brother’s favorite outlet. Or as I liked to call it, verbal punching bag. “Are you ready? I want to get an early start.”
“The sun isn’t even up yet, Matt! I’m not awake.” I yawned, leaning against the door frame. “Why do you want to leave now?”
“I can’t lose another race to your boyfriend,” he whined. “I need to practice block passes all day until that guy can’t get around me anymore.”
“So? What do you need me for? You’re not planning to break anything, are you?”
“I’m taking my race bike as well as one of the ditch humpers. I’m going to grind with Earl. He brought Holly out for another visit and decided to stay through the weekend, so I’m taking full advantage. Once we’ve practiced enough, we’re doing timed races to sharpen my edge.”
“So?” I yawned again, my mind already moving on to thoughts of coffee.
“I need you to be there to make sure the bikes are at peak.”
“So, you’re planning to thrash on them. How do you expect me to keep your race bike pristine when you want to use it for practice? I’m not your slave, Matt.”
“Kenni, I pay you to keep the bikes running and running tight. It’s Supercross!” He stood over me, his hands fisting on his hips, letting me know he was determined to have his way. “Why are you going soft on me now? It’s because of Hawkins, isn’t it
?”
“I’m not going soft on you,” I said solemnly. “You’re right, I’m in knots over my relationship with Finn. I know you don’t approve, but the more I get to know him, Matt, the more I’m convinced he’s completely reformed. Can’t you just give him a chance?”
“I tolerate him already. Isn’t that enough? I intend to only meet him on the racetrack, then only to beat him like he stole my money.”
“You don’t know the whole story, Matt...”
“Just get your shit together, Kenni, and let’s go. We’re meeting Wally at the track.”
I turned away, grumbling. My brother was such a stubborn ass. I snickered as I thought about it being a family trait. My dad had been one giant stick in the mud… well, when he wasn’t buying me treats and taking us places. He had been set in his ways at the young age of forty, and my mom bitched about it twice as much as I did about Matt. Stumbling back into the room, I changed into a simple white V-neck t-shirt and a pair of loose-fitting, old jeans I could move around in comfortably. After lacing up my Chucks, I grabbed a fresh pair of coveralls and my portable toolbox. If Matt did anything to wreck his bikes beyond what I could fix with my handy kit, it’d be the end of the day, and I’d be up all night at Wally’s, piecing the machines together again.
Seven hours later, Matt, Wally, Earl, and I were half-dead. Holly was as radiant as ever, but then her only job had been to sit on the sidelines, watching her cousin and my brother slug it out on the track. Earl and Matt kept Wally and me hopping with little tweaks and repairs. By the end of the day, Matt had beat Earl ten out of fourteen races.
“Quit sulking, you big baby,” Earl admonished Matt as they stepped under the tarp we had set up to protect us from the wind and dirt. “You won more times than you lost. I don’t know what you’re so twisted up about. I may not be on the leaderboard for Supercross, but I’m still in the top twenty riders on the circuit.”
“You may be in the top twenty, but Finn Hawkins is in the top five. I have to be able to beat you every single time.”
“I don’t know, Matt,” Earl replied, shaking his head. “Maybe you need to find another way to deal with this problem you have with Hawkins. You’re not getting anywhere this way.”
He gave my brother a clap on the back before walking toward Holly, where she stood at the entrance.
“Sorry, Earl. I’m just a grouch these days,” Matt said as he followed Earl, pulling Holly into his arms once they reached her. “I’ll see you after the next race, okay, sweetheart?”
I turned away as my brother kissed her, never able to get used to seeing him showing anyone any kind of affection. Even though I was glad my brother had found someone who just might be willing to put up with his shit, I didn’t want to watch them make out, so I walked back to our pit to distract myself until I was called upon to fix something else.
Finally, Matt came strolling to the back of our makeshift pit, where I was trying to keep his play bike together with what amounted to yarn and chewing gum.
“I’m going to have to break this down for parts soon,” I offered as Matt came to stand beside me while I wiped my hands on an old bandana.
“Just keep it running until Supercross is over. I should be able to pick up someone’s old humper for under a thousand. Assuming I start winning more.”
“You’ve been doing awesome this season. You’re climbing in the ranks and slugging it out with someone like Finn. When you guys started, you weren’t even close to that. Take your wins, bro. You may not win all of Supercross, but you’re doing great,” I replied, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to be the best at everything.”
“No, but I’m responsible for you… for us. If I’m not bringing in the money, no one is, you know what I mean?”
“Our funds are that bad?” I looked at him, one eyebrow raised as my throat tightened with anxiety. “What happened to the other ten thousand?”
“Relax, Kenni. We still have it. I’m just protecting the hell out of it. I’m sweating the next few months, but I don’t regret my choice. Giving twenty thousand to Simmons was better than nothing if it means he’ll keep his mouth shut. Now I just have to make that money back and then some if I’m going to stay out of the construction business this spring.” Matt had spent several years augmenting the purses he won by working with a local general contractor. We’d decided to take a risk this year, putting our hopes on the fact we had enough to last us through the season. I felt the guilt and shame blanket me once again.
“I can get a paying job, Matt. There are any number of riders who’d be willing to let me work on their bikes. You focus on climbing the ranks, and I’ll find work. I’m sure Wally can do some wrenching or one of the kids from the 250 team. You know, I was offered a job not so long ago...” I trailed off, recalling my first meeting with Finn. I sure hoped he meant what he said because I was about to put him to the test, even if it made my brother’s head explode.
I sat in the conference room at the offices of Corporate Cares with Rylee and her boss, Teddy. We were going over some last-minute details regarding the Race to the Top Bachelor Auction, including several new participants who wanted to donate their time—and bodies—to a good cause. My stomach turned slightly when Teddy spoke up.
“Dalton Simmons is our most recent volunteer. He’s a motocross rider... are you friendly with him, Finn?” he asked as he slid two fingers over the edge of his lapel, considering me briefly.
“I know him, of course, but we’re not friends.”
“But Kenni knows him, doesn’t she?” Rylee asked, her chin balanced on her fist, elbow on the table. “He said something about his girlfriend, Kenni, while he was here. I figured it couldn’t be a coincidence.”
“I saw him at her place once. If there’s anything between them, I don’t think it’s pleasant, but she’s never mentioned a word about him.”
“Well,” Teddy cut in politely. “Find out if you can? If there’s bad blood between them, we need to be careful with the seating arrangements. Otherwise, I’m sure they’ll behave like adults. Let’s wrap it up here, so you two can get on with your day.”
“Finn’s coming to The House to visit Corey today. This weekend, we’re all going out to the track for some time in the mud. Isn’t that right, Finn?” Rylee smiled up at me sweetly.
“I’m afraid this woman can get me to do anything for her,” I chimed in, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently.
“That’s why she works for me,” Teddy chuckled as he walked us to the lobby. “I’ll see you at the gala, Finn. Rylee, see you tomorrow.”
We lingered in the parking lot, going over the last few weeks of Corey’s life, how much he’d grown, and how he couldn’t wait to check out my bikes. I’d gotten my start in BMX when I was even younger than Corey, but that was my Dad’s doing.
“What did you bring the trailer for if you’re just going to teach Corey to ride a bike?” She patted her hand against the smooth metal siding.
“I brought my racing bike to show off, of course,” I replied with a sheepish grin and a shrug. “If I’m going to do this whole role model thing, I’m going to do it right. After we get him riding on the BMX, I’ll do a little showing off for him and the other boys. Get their excitement up.”
“Leave it to you, Finn.” Rylee shook her head as she chuckled, making her curls bounce. “Let’s head over. I’m sure Corey’s climbing the walls.”
When we got to The House, Corey was indeed standing on the porch, fidgeting in place. When he saw me, his face lit up, and he came running out to greet us. He stopped just a few feet short, however.
“Hi, Finn,” he said shyly, his fingers once again hovering near his mouth.
“Hey, buddy! Come on over here. I have something for you.” I beckoned him closer with one hand as I walked to the trailer hitched behind my truck. Throwing back the tarp, I lifted a smooth, black matte, brand-new Eastern Wolfdog BMX bicycle. Setting it down in front of him, I was relieved to see it just about fit
his size. “Rylee said you’ve been talking about learning to ride someday. I thought I’d teach you to start where I did—Bicycle Motorcross.”
“This is for me?” The sucking sound of his fingers as he withdrew them from his mouth made me laugh.
“Yes, it’s for you! Now, why don’t we get started teaching you to stay on two wheels?” I grinned as the boy bounced on the balls of his feet. I’d never known how much fun it could be to do something so simple for someone.
I ran behind Corey, encouraging him to pedal as fast as he could before letting go and his inevitable crashes into the bushes and the next-door neighbor’s fence. Finally, after a solid three hours of zipping up and down the block, I ran out of gas. I was in peak condition physically, but this boy had run my ass off with his own determination to master the skill. I shook my head in amazement. I’d had that kind of drive once, but it had been manipulated into something dark and ugly. I hoped I could be a brighter example to Corey.
I faltered in my steps as I got lost in thought, letting go of Corey before giving him the countdown. To my amazement and relief, he just kept pedaling, not even noticing he’d left me behind on the sidewalk. When he finally looked over his shoulder, I waved from my spot twenty feet away. Corey whooped with delight, then came zooming back to me.
“Can I ride for a while longer, now that I know I can?” he asked eagerly, his little freckled nose scrunched up in curiosity.
“It’s about time to wash up and get ready for dinner,” I replied, ruffling his hair. “I think I heard Rylee say something about her famous enchilada bake casserole.”
Ride: A Driven World Novel Page 12