by Kim Loraine
“It’s okay,” I said, brushing off the hurt. “I know it’s hard to understand. Even I struggle with it now that I know the truth.” I forced away the ache of longing that speared my heart. “The only way I’m going to move on is to actually take the steps to move on. Can we go somewhere now? I just want to do something I used to do. Go to a movie, have a drink, anything.”
“And you want to do that with me?”
I looked at him and, for the first time, I really saw him. Logan was every inch the handsome, rugged, mountain man I used to read about when I needed an escape from my life. He was devoted and strong. He’d do anything to protect me and the people he loved. Logan was the guy you married. He was the guy who’d stay. Cashel was the one who’d break your heart and then eat it while you watched and begged him to do it all over again.
“Yes,” I said, not sure if I meant it.
He nodded and pulled a set of keys out of the pocket of his backpack along with a wallet. “Let’s go. I’ll give you the normal date you want.”
I took his hand and looked into those deep brown eyes. Possibility stared back at me. No blood donations, no fear of him losing control and killing me, no danger. It was exactly what I needed. So why did part of me scream that it was exactly what I didn’t want?
The restaurant was small, warmly lit with candles and plastic red and white gingham tablecloths covering each of the two-person tables. Schmaltzy old crooners provided the soundtrack to the evening over an ancient sound system, and garlic and marinara scented the air. I half expected Logan to order us a plate of spaghetti and meatballs for us to share like Lady and the Tramp. Instead we got a margherita pizza and a bottle of red wine.
“I hope this is okay,” Logan said, his cheeks slightly pink as he served me some wine. “I haven’t had a date in a while.”
I shrugged. “I haven’t had a real date…ever.”
Eyes wide, he stared at me. “What? I find that hard to believe.”
Taking a bite of the hot pizza, I savored the burst of basil on my tongue. “Most of my life was pretty sheltered. And Cashel…well, dating isn’t really a thing he does.”
“That’s because he was trying not to kill you every second he was with you.”
Wine glass to my lips, I swallowed some of the cheap house red. “You’re probably right. I was too valuable to kill.” Betrayal sat heavy in my chest. “He had to keep me so he could use my blood and play with my heart all at the same time.”
“Hey, let’s not talk about him. This is supposed to be normal, remember? That means two humans doing human stuff.”
I offered him a slight smile and set down my glass. “You’re right. And this is nice. It feels good.”
He grinned and reached for my hand. “We could have this every day if that’s something you want.”
His fingers were warm and gentle on mine, holding me as though I’d break. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, if I was ready for this. “Logan,” I started.
He released my hand and nodded. “It’s okay. I’m sorry. I’m rushing this. We have a connection. Can’t you feel it?”
I looked into his eyes and couldn’t deny, there was attraction, a pull, the spark of desire. But it was nothing compared to what Cashel could evoke in me with the mere brush of his fingertip over my skin. Was that real? Was that true? Or was it all an illusion he’d put in my mind on the night we first met?
“I feel it. I’m just so messed up right now. I need time. Need to move slow.”
He gave me a tender smile and snagged a second slice of pizza. “We have time. You’re free of them. Your life is all yours now. I’ll be here.”
Something in my chest eased as soon as the pressure to make a choice was removed. The stakes had been lowered, and I could take my time. “Thank you. For being here. For opening my eyes to what was really going on. I’d have…I think I’d have stayed with him forever if you hadn’t come for me.”
His jaw clenched at my words, and those eyes went from warm and loving to hard as stone. “I’d have burned it all to the ground if you’d have let me.”
My stomach twisted. No. I didn’t want Cashel hurt. I couldn’t bear it. But was that real? Why was my love for him still there, persistent and strong?
We stayed silent for the rest of dinner, and after paying, the two of us walked side-by-side down the darkening streets of the small mountain town. The air was crisp and clean, cold but bearable. The longer we walked though, the chillier I became, and before long, Logan wrapped an arm around me, pulling me against his heat. I didn’t hate it. But I hated myself a little for wishing he was Cash.
I pushed the vampire from my mind and gave myself over to living in the sensation of Logan’s body as he moved. His thickly muscled torso spoke of the hours and hours of training he did. I sighed as I melted into him. His leather jacket smelled delicious, rich and smoky.
“What?” he asked, a laugh in his question.
“You smell nice.”
A low chuckle rumbled in his chest. “Thanks?”
“Do hunters always live in camps? Are you guys ever going to be able to settle down and have real homes, lives that include walls?”
He stiffened then relaxed almost immediately. “Is that something you want?”
I shrugged. “I’m used to moving around a lot. But I always lived in a house or an apartment.”
“One day we’ll be able to. Not all hunter groups are nomads like us. But, then again, not all hunters have to deal with the Blackthornes. You saw it for yourself, Elias Blackthorne was a terrible man. He led by example, killing humans for sport or taking them as blood slaves. There are vampires in the area who don’t kill their donors, but they are few and far between. As far as I’m concerned, they all need to be exterminated.”
A shudder ran down my spine at the chill in his voice. “So, we move because…?”
One corner of his mouth twitched with the ghost of a smile. “We move so they can’t get ahead of us. If they knew where we were, they’d take us out one-by-one. They’d probably turn us as an extra form of torture.”
“Turn you?”
“Into one of them.”
“I know what that means. I just…I didn’t think about that. The Blackthornes were…well, they treated turned vampires like they were lesser beings.” I thought of Brenna, of what her life at the manor must’ve been. Cash regarded her as a mother, but Elias barely looked at her.
“I’m sure they feel that way too. Born, full-blooded vampires are rare. It’s one of the reasons Elias Blackthorne put aside his first wife. She couldn’t get pregnant. He knocked up Cashel’s mother before he had even told his wife he was done with her. But, your boyfriend’s mom was a full-blooded vamp, not a drop of human to her. She just didn’t have royal blood.”
I knew the story. Cashel had shared it with me one night after he found me playing the piano at the manor. “How do you know all this?”
He shrugged. “Know your enemy. Basic rules of war.”
“So then you know about sun sickness?”
His heavy sigh told me he didn’t want to continue this conversation. “Of course I do. We created it.”
“You did?”
“Well, the generations before us. Liv, your mom came from a long line of hunters who’d bargained with a coven of witches to acquire a defense against the vampires.”
“How would giving vampires the ability to walk in the sun be a good thing?”
“That’s not how it started.”
The conversation I’d had with Cashel during my first few days at the manor house replayed in my mind. Powerful magic. One drop could burn a vampire from the inside out. “So, what happened?”
“They were never able to make it stronger after the first spell. Many of the attempts to strengthen the magic resulted in death. They tried everything to use the gift their blood gave them.”
“And each time the blood of the sun died, their child was given the burden?” I asked.
“Exactly. But your mother ran after
she watched what happened to your grandmother.”
My heart lurched at the mention of her. “What does that have to do with creating sun sickness?”
“When it became obvious that the magic had diluted and become a detriment, we took a sample and tainted it. Basically creating our own version of a virus specific to vampires. Then we sent it out into the world. I wish it worked better than it does.”
I felt sick. They were responsible for the horrible disease that killed Cashel’s mother. My blood was responsible. “And…you’re proud of this?”
He stopped walking and turned to face me. “What?”
“You’re proud that hunters are to blame for the virus working its way through the vampires in the world. Making them suffer horrible ends?”
His eyes closed and he took a slow breath. “These creatures aren’t good. They are vile and heartless.”
“Not all of them.” I thought of Brenna, of Callie, and even Lucas. They were kind to me. Even if Cashel had manipulated me, they didn’t have to treat me like I belonged there. “I don’t think you know your enemy as well as you believe.”
“All I know is I came home from football practice when I was sixteen and found a vampire feeding on my mother with my little sister’s broken body next to her. I killed my first vamp that night and never looked back. My mom is catatonic from the trauma. They took everything from me for no reason.”
A wave of sympathy flooded me. He’d lost someone too. I kept forgetting that. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. Just help us.”
I nodded, taking his hand and squeezing. But then he stopped in his tracks and his head snapped up, posture alert and tense. “What is it?”
“Vampires.”
5
Olivia
“Logan, watch out!” I shouted as two vampires rushed us in a blur of motion so fast I barely registered their speed. But they weren’t after him. One grabbed me, wrenching me from his arms even though I put up a hell of a fight. I screamed and kicked, thrashed and squirmed. Gone were the days of me letting fear immobilize me. Since Hector had used adrenaline to open my mind and show me the truth, I hadn’t been plagued by panic attacks I couldn’t control. Now, in this moment, I was incredibly thankful for him. The cold night air whipped my hair in my face, obscuring my view as the vampire holding me ran.
“Don’t make me hurt you.” The voice to my right was familiar. Low, husky, and feminine. It was not a voice I’d ever wanted to hear again. She set me on my feet under the cover of a nearly empty parking garage. Then, stepping into the yellow cast of an overhead light, she pulled the hood back from her head, and her nearly black waves cascaded down one shoulder. Terrible and beautiful.
“Sorcha,” I said as fear tightened in my gut.
“Long time, little bird,” she sneered.
My gut clenched. “Did…did Cashel send you?”
She snorted. “No. I’m sure he’s off with his newest conquest. Fickle heart, that one. Always has been.”
That sliced through my heart. I didn’t want it to, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. “Why are you here?”
“There’s been…a serious development. We’ve lost Cashel. He’s abandoned us. But we can still use your blood to stop the sun sickness. We have to stop it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“There’s a new queen in town. She wants nothing to do with our father’s children…except for Cashel. She’s got him on her side.”
“If you think I’m going with you, you’re insane.”
She shook her head. “I don’t need you. I need your blood. Just a sample. Something to take to Callie. She can’t get back into the manor to take a vial from our stores.”
This version of Sorcha was so strange. Desperate and defeated. She’d lost so much of her spark.
“Please, Olivia?” she asked, gently and with a sincerity I’d rarely heard from her.
I looked behind me, back toward the exit, searching for the street where I was sure Logan was fighting to find me. “Who was that with you?”
“Lucas. Don’t worry. He wouldn’t kill your new boy toy. He likes to play with them for a few weeks, taunt them first.”
“Logan might kill him.”
She laughed. “Unlikely.” Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a syringe. “Roll up your sleeve and let’s get on with this. I won’t bother you or your hideous hunter boyfriend again.”
I did as she instructed, shoving my sleeve up past my elbow. The needle stung going in, and I had a flashback of Cashel taking my blood this same way, though he somehow calmed and soothed me with barely a word. Mind control, I reminded myself. He had been playing with my mind.
“There. All done,” she said, taking her thumb and pressing it against one sharp fang before healing my wound with a drop of her blood. I didn’t miss her bringing that thumb back to her lips as she sucked the mixture of our blood off the tip.
“Can I go now?” I asked, tugging my sleeve back down to cover the reddish smear across the bend of my elbow.
“I gave you a promise. Of course you can.”
I started down the gray cement path that led to the street, feeling her gaze prickling the back of my neck with every step.
“Oh, Olivia?” she called.
I turned and stared at her. “If I found you, so will they. Just keep that in mind. You killed a very powerful vampire. I may not come for you, but someone will.”
With a curt nod, I forced myself to calm my racing heart and strode with false confidence until I reached the sidewalk.
I found Logan crumpled on a bench three blocks away. He was dazed but otherwise looked unharmed as he blinked a few times and frowned. “Liv, oh my God, you’re okay.”
He stood and pulled me into his arms, crushing me against him as he kept murmuring, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I got away. Good thing you taught me how to fight.”
“That vamp didn’t try to bite me, he just hit me over the fucking head.”
“They didn’t want you.”
He reached for the pendant I hadn’t taken off since he gave to me. “So much for this.”
“My blood is stronger than we thought. I took care of her, though. She’s gone.”
“I’m a fucking asshole for not protecting you.”
I squeezed him tighter before looking up at his sharply angled jaw covered in dark stubble. Cupping his cheek with my palm, I shook my head and murmured, “You protected me by teaching me how to defend myself.”
Tenderness filled his eyes, and he dropped his head, pressing his lips to mine without warning. I thought of everything that had happened, everything Sorcha had said. Cashel had used me. He hadn’t really loved me. He’d already moved on and left me behind. Logan was here, warm and wonderful. He only wanted me for me. Why shouldn’t I be happy?
I leaned in and let him kiss me, recognizing the dull ache of desire as it made itself known between my thighs. I could have this. Him. Us. Something normal. Or as normal as things could be for me.
“Let’s get out of here,” Logan murmured against my lips.
I nodded and broke apart from him, tucking my hand into the crook of his elbow. “So much for normal.”
“One day, I promise, I’ll give you normal.”
I hoped he was right.
Cashel
I could still taste my latest donor’s blood even an hour after I nearly drained him dry. Rich and warm, but it lacked the taste of sunshine I craved. It lacked so much more than that. I needed a connection now. I needed Olivia. The itch in my veins to go after her had dulled after my feeding, but with that came the lack of control I’d worked so hard for. Every time I drained a donor, I lost a bit of myself to the monster inside.
“Have you finished with this one?” Anne’s voice was low and relaxed, not even a hint of concern for the man on the floor.
“He’s not dead, if that’s what you’re asking.”
A light laugh filled the air
. “You’re like a naughty cat who loves leaving gifts at my feet. I like this side of you, Cashel. It’s good to see you embracing the creature you were meant to be.”
I wish I could read her thoughts, get inside her head and hear the truth she wouldn’t share with me.
“Oh, that wouldn’t be possible, and you know it. I’m far too strong for anyone to break through my barriers.” Her words made me stiffen. “You’ll have to be more careful with your own walls. Perhaps your siblings were easy on you, given your…disability.”
Anger built, a fire igniting in my chest and growing to an inferno with the speed of a match dropped on gasoline. “Disability?”
“Well, I’m sure they never made you feel that way. Precious Cashel. The King’s favorite. There couldn’t be anything wrong with you.” Her voice was pitched high, a taunting, teasing lilt.
“Our gifts are different.”
She cackled, tossing her head back and filling the room with the sound of her amusement. “Different? Who told you that? Vampires born without the ability to hear thoughts are stunted. Weak. Unworthy of the royal title they might mistakenly be given.”
“Weak. You think I am weak?” I strode across the room in calm, controlled steps, until I stood so close to her I could taste her perfume. “I killed my father, took what I wanted, and abandoned everything I knew to stop him and his corruption. I am not weak.”
“And yet, you ran. You killed him and ran away. If you were strong, you’d have stood your ground and claimed your crown.”
“I had to.”
“No! You chose to. You chose your pathetic little human over your crown. You left with her and let her destroy the Blackthorne legacy. Your entire family was weak. They let her wander free rather than imprisoning her. They let her think she was an equal, and once I find them, I’ll make them pay for their weakness.”