by Kim Loraine
“What? I wasn’t told.”
“You’re a liability, not a valued advisor. Of course she wouldn’t tell you. I’m feeling rather peckish at the moment. Care to hunt for some humans? I’d certainly like to see what the blood of the sun tastes like.”
Glancing up at the sky, I rolled my shoulders and assessed the moon’s position. Not enough time left until sunrise. I wouldn’t be able to stop Eliana and get to Olivia in time. Especially if I needed to get us somewhere safe. Unless I fed on her. That couldn’t happen in my current state. I’d drain her.
“I’ll have Martin deliver some of our stores to your room.”
“It’ll never be safe for her, you know.”
Eliana’s words sent a chill through me. She was right. Unless I bonded with Olivia, made her mine and ruined her blood for everyone else, she’d always be in danger. I had to figure out how to get us to safety. Whatever it took to keep my little bird flying free, I’d do it.
“She hates you, Cashel,” Eliana said. “I saw it in her head. She wants you out of her life. She wants the hunter.”
Those words hit me like a whip’s lash across already broken skin. Olivia couldn’t. I rushed Eliana, grabbing her by the throat and shoving her hard against a tree. I’d been feeding nightly on human blood. I was stronger than she could possibly compete with. A turned vampire couldn’t compare to a born one. “Why are you lying to me?”
“I’m not,” she managed through my grip on her windpipe. “You need to know the truth. She’s in love with him. I saw it in his mind.”
“I should rip your heart from your chest and feed on it.”
She laughed and let out a moan. “Go ahead. You already did it once before. Besides, I’ve always liked it rough.”
I let go of her and staggered backward, not caring that she fell to the ground. “I…you betrayed me with my father.”
“And what about her? Olivia. The girl who wanted nothing more than freedom from you. She betrayed you as well.”
“Are you trying to get me to kill you? Put you out of your misery?”
“I’m trying to show you the truth. She doesn’t want you. You lost her. Move on. Stop being such a pathetic excuse for a vampire.”
“You know nothing about me.”
Her gaze softened slightly. “I know you’re lost. How are we going to find you again?” She got to her feet, brushing the dirt off her ass and rolling her head from side to side with a low groan. “It’ll be fun trying to bring you back.”
“You won’t bring me anywhere. I’m not lost. I’m finally where I’m supposed to be.”
“Is that what you think? You murdered your family, your king, in cold blood. For a human. You’d never have done anything like that for me. And you told me you loved me more times than I can count.”
My whole body hummed with the warning of the coming sunrise. We needed to have this fight, to talk through everything that happened between us, but now was not the time.
“We can’t do this here.”
“This isn’t over, Cashel. You don’t get to so easily brush me off.” Her eyes held a wild desperation. “I can smell your human’s desire all over you. It’s not right. You are the Blackthorne prince. You should be loyal to your kind, not fucking a human in secret. The council is coming for your pet. You might have been pardoned, but she’s still guilty. She killed them, same as you.”
I reached for her, frantic she’d ruin everything. “When?”
“Soon. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll let them have her.”
She laughed and took off at a run, a blur of dark hair and pale skin. I chased after her, tackling her to the ground.
“Get off me, Cashel.”
“The sun is rising, El. You’ll never make it to safety in time.”
“What do you care?”
“I care. I’ve always cared about what happens to you.”
Rage flashed in her eyes. “Liar. You abandoned me. You broke my mind because of what your father made me do. Because of what he took without permission.”
“What are you talking about?”
“If you think I willingly gave my body to Elias Blackthorne, you’re wrong. You know what he was capable of. He hated that I wanted you. So he got rid of me. I just never thought you’d believe him.”
“I saw it. In your head.”
She clenched her jaw. “No. You went deeper into my mind than I could withstand and found the grenade your father planted there. You destroyed my will. Left me a shell of myself. You. Killed. Me.” A tear trailed down her cheek. “And you’ll end up doing the same to her.”
“He—”
“Elias raped me. He set you up and felt nothing even close to guilt. I was never willingly unfaithful to you. Not like you were. I wanted you to love me.”
“I did.”
She wrenched herself from my grasp and got to her feet. “No. You have to have a heart to love. Yours is nothing but a blackened lump of coal. Just like your father’s.”
“I am nothing like him.”
“Oh, really? Tell me, Cashel, does your pet know about me? Does she know you promised me forever and gave me nothing?”
I nod. “She does.”
“Are you still in love with her?”
“You said it yourself, I don’t have a heart. I can’t love anyone. Not her. Not you.”
Her brow furrowed, and everything in her posture tensed. “Fuck you, Cashel. I hope she gives you exactly what you gave me. A broken mind and an eternity of heartbreak.”
Helping her to her feet, I made a decision that twisted my gut. I had to make her want me bad enough she’d keep my secret. “It’s her blood. Nothing more. I’ve had it and I can’t stop the craving for her. It’s like a drug. I need to detox. I need help.” I pressed our foreheads together. “I don’t love her. I crave her. Maybe what I needed all this time was you.”
Those wide eyes softened. “You really never loved her?”
I shook my head. “Never. Her blood is dangerously addictive. It drove me to do things I’d never normally do.”
“Cashel,” she whispered.
“Please, save me from this,” I begged. “Save me so we can be together.”
I shoved her against a tree and took her lips with mine. It worked. She melted into the kiss and before I could back away, she grew frantic, hungry, desperate for more. Her hands threaded through my hair and she let out soft little mewling sounds. I cupped her face and pushed her away from me. “Not here, El. Not now. The sun is rising and I have a duty to the Queen.”
“Let me help you. I can get rid of Olivia. She won’t be a problem for you if she doesn’t exist.”
“No!” I shouted the word and instantly regretted it. “The Queen wants Olivia in her possession. Not dead.”
She dragged in a long, unnecessary breath. “Fine. I won’t kill her…yet.”
I threaded our fingers. “Come, love. We need to get you safely hidden from the sun. Come to my room. Stay the day.” My gut twisted with the wrongness of being with her. But she needed to believe my lies. If she’d been spying on Olivia, that meant she’d easily be able to harm her. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”
Olivia
Roses. Always roses. As I slipped the charm over my head, the heavy weight of the pendant settled between my breasts and filled my nose with the scent of the flower I’d come to loathe. I shoved my possessions into the backpack Hector had given me after my first week at the camp. A few meager supplies, a compass, flashlight, matches, socks, and a first aid kit. There would be no hiding from vampires if I got injured and couldn’t tend to myself.
My heart raced, and the familiar chokehold of a panic attack threatened to work its way around my throat. Not now. I’d been so in control. I couldn’t fall back into this trap. Closing my eyes, I forced my mind to a calm place and willed myself to remove everything that was bearing down on me. I needed to go somewhere in my consciousness where I was safe and happy. Calm. Peaceful. Free.
&nbs
p; But it was Cashel I saw in my thoughts. Eyes dark and hungry, fangs dripping with blood. My mother at his feet. My breath came in sharp, thin gasps, and I had to curl into a ball as I worked to find my freedom from this anxiety-ridden cage.
“Liv?” Logan’s hand was on my shoulder, his warmth bringing me back from the cold, dark place I’d been.
I breathed deeply and slowly as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight to his chest. When my pulse reached a healthy pace and I was able to speak, I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. “I have to get out of here.”
His dark brows furrowed. “What? Why?”
“Cashel was here. He found me.”
Every muscle in Logan’s chest tensed. “When?”
“While I was sleeping. I think. I’m not sure. It might have been a dream. I…I could smell him. It felt so real.”
He gripped my chin and turned my head from right to left, inspecting me. “Did he bite you?”
“No.”
“What happened?”
“It was…it felt real.”
“He touched you? He assaulted you while you were asleep?” The rage on Logan’s face couldn’t be contained. He pulled me to a standing position and stared into my eyes, the only light between us the soft glow of the moon that managed to seep in through the thin tent.
I didn’t want to tell him the truth—that he licked and sucked me, that he’d put his fingers inside my very willing body and made me come around him. But also, the more I thought about it, the more I realized he couldn’t have been here. That my mind was a traitor and my body reacted viscerally because no matter what Cashel lied about, he trained me to crave him. “I think it was a dream. I said I wasn’t sure.”
I had asked for him. I’d told Cashel I wanted him. I’d begged for him. If it was real, he definitely hadn’t assaulted me. But then why hadn’t he killed the hunters and taken me with him?
“It wasn’t real.” I had to backpedal. Logan didn’t stand a chance against Cash. Even with a stake and silver. “If he had been here, he’d have taken me with him. You all would be dead.”
“Then why do you want to leave?”
“Sorcha. She promised others would find me. She’s not lying about that. Until we figure out a way to ruin my blood for them, I’m a target. I’m endangering everyone here.”
He heaved a sigh and glanced toward the opening of the tent. “Not tonight. We leave when the camp migrates. They won’t realize we’re gone until it’s too late.”
“Logan. I have to go now, before Hector or any of the others are awake. They can’t come after me.”
“You’re not going without me.”
“You don’t have to be part of this.”
“I’ve been part of this since the first day I saw you.” With a curt shake of his head, he took my bag. “Trust me. We’re leaving in two more days. We can split off from the caravan.”
I shook my head. “Hector will track your car. You can’t think he won’t.”
“Wait here,” he said, stepping out of my tent.
But he came right back and gripped the back of my neck, pulling me close and claiming my lips with his. I could taste the determination and tension in his kiss before he let me go.
Within a few minutes, he was back with a map and a flashlight. Then he took my hand and squeezed. “There’s a town fifty miles west of here. We’ll stop when we get there and get a room. Then we can dump my car and get a new one. You’ll stay in my tent with me until then. No one will get to you without me there to fight.”
I nodded, and relief flooded me. “Thank you, Logan.”
“I promised you one day you’d have a normal life. I’m not going to abandon you now.”
I slept in his arms the rest of the night, my traitorous memories flashing back to the dream of Cashel. In the morning, we hatched a plan to leave false trails of my scent for any vampire searching for me. We hiked for hours, zigzagging through the brush before finally coming to rest at a creek bed. The sun was on its way toward the middle of the sky, and my legs ached from the rough terrain we’d been cutting through.
“I think that’s enough, don’t you?” Logan asked.
I nodded, taking his offered hand and letting him heft me to my feet. I didn’t want to keep going. I wanted to take my boots off and let my tired feet rest with the cool water of the softly babbling brook running over them. He pulled out a bottle of rose oil and the pendant he’d given me. Using the dropper, he filled the charm with the oil and handed the chain to me.
“You said you got this from a witch?” I asked, taking the pendant between my fingers and studying the intricately designed ball.
“Yeah. She owed me a favor.”
“We should go see her. Maybe she’ll know how to fix this. Maybe she can ruin my blood for them.” Hope lit in my chest. “If they don’t want me, Cashel can move on. Maybe he’ll let me go.”
As soon as I said the words, they burned to ashes in the air between us. Cashel would never let me go. I could feel it in my bones. And I wasn’t sure I wanted him to, even though I knew I should. Frustrated with myself, my weakness for him, my desperate desire, I dragged a hand through my hair and gathered the strands until I could occupy myself with braiding them. I needed something a distraction.
“Liv, you aren’t his anymore. You got away. You made the right choice and came with me. He has no claim on you. When are you going to see it?”
“You should let me go alone from here, Logan. Go back to the camp and I’ll keep moving. You don’t understand anything. The Blackthornes won’t ever give up. They’ll find me and take what they want. That’s what they did to my mother, and it’s what they’ll do to me.”
“Not if I have anything to say about it. Your dad might’ve abandoned you and your mom, but I won’t do that to you. If you guys hadn’t been alone, maybe things would’ve been different. You’ve got me by your side. I’m ready to fight.”
“That’s exactly what I’m worried about. You’ll fight for me, and the Blackthornes will kill you. Don’t you remember what they did to the band of hunters you brought to the manor?”
“We took down one. Shot Cashel. If you hadn’t gone back with him, I’m pretty sure he would be dead right now.”
“One. You killed one. They destroyed the rest of you. You’d be dead if I hadn’t stopped them.”
I stared at this man, so strong and sure, ready to protect me. Some of the light left his eyes at the truth in my words. His confidence was shaken, I could see it all over his face. “Liv—”
“I don’t want to be responsible for your death, Logan. I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you.”
He cupped my face and dropped his forehead to mine. “We’ll have to look out for each other.”
Then his mouth was pressed to mine, and the world faded away. We had this moment, here by the brook. No vampires, nothing but his lips on mine. I could do this. I could be happy with Logan. If Cashel Blackthorne would only let me.
9
Olivia
“Tomorrow,” Logan said. “We leave at daybreak.”
The sun had been down for the better part of an hour, and all of the hunters were in bed save the few posting guard. “Thank you for doing this with me.”
We sat on the cot together, his fingers twined with mine. “It’s…what you do for someone you love.”
My chest tightened. Love? “You love me?”
“Of course I do. How could I not?”
“I just…it hasn’t been—”
“That long? It’s been long enough. You captivated me the first time we met. You’re strong, a fighter, grounded and smart. You’re everything I admire.”
“And I’m a mess. A disaster. A danger.”
“You’re worth every bit of danger.”
He leaned in, a brush of lips, a promise of more. “I want you, Liv. I understand if you’re not ready, but I need you to know that.”
I broke our kiss and pushed thoughts of Cashel from my mind. It was time
to move on. Time to be with a man who didn’t want to own me. I nodded and lifted my shirt over my head. His warm palm slid up my spine as he pulled me close. “God, Liv. You’re so soft.”
He took another kiss from me, this time with more desperate urgency. His tongue pressed into my mouth and I didn’t stop him. I asked for more with the pull of my fingers on his clothes. All we had was the faint light of our dimmed lantern casting shadows across the tent. We went from tentative to frantic, tugging at clothing until we were both naked in the warm glow of the lantern. He laid me on my back before climbing on top of me. The look in his eyes was filled with wonder. “Are you sure?” he asked.
Was I? I needed to move forward, to entrust my body to another man. Logan loved me. “Yes.”
Harsh breaths filled the space, and his tight groan of pleasure when we came together for the first time was loud enough I worried someone would hear us. But then he started moving. Long, slow rolls of his hips. It was gentle and tender, all the frantic need gone. No rush, no fire. We smoldered.
“Liv,” he groaned, clutching me tight to him as he kissed my neck. A sick part of me wanted him to bite down and mark me. He tensed, and his slow thrusts became erratic. “I can’t hold back anymore.” His statement was nearly a plea followed by a low moan as he fell over the edge and let his release take him.
We lay together, breathing heavily, him trailing kisses over my collarbone and shoulder. “This is the beginning of us, Liv. I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy. I promise.”
I ran my fingers through his hair and over his strong back. I should have been happy to have him. I was. But there was something missing that he could never give me. Maybe that was the power your first love held. No one would ever be able to replace the missing piece of my heart that Cashel had stolen.
Slipping out of the bed, I dressed and stood near the opening of the tent, the soft light of our camp lantern leaving everything in a warm glow. Logan came up behind me and took my hand. He’d dressed as well, but I hadn’t even noticed. The two of us returned to the small bed in silence. I turned off the lamp before rolling onto my side. Then I stared at the shadows until his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer against his chest, and I did nothing to stop him as I drifted to sleep in his arms.