If any words could get her into the small box, those were the ones. Her last measure of true safety had been with her mother. The idea Justin used this knowledge to control her niggled uncomfortably. She wondered how long she would have to be around the man before she stopped distrusting him. She hoped sooner rather than later. This unease was getting tiresome.
Taking courage in her mother’s memory and in the hope Justin was trustworthy, she stepped into the elevator. Justin followed and soon they were rising toward what Rue hoped was a better future.
TWENTY-TWO
As the elevator rose, Rue’s stomach dropped. Up one floor. Two floors. As they passed the third floor, she feared she was going to be sick. By the fifth floor, she almost had a handle on the nausea until the device stopped and threw her diaphragm up against her lungs, almost taking her lunch with it.
“Should we be up so high?”
Justin laughed until he realized how serious she was. “We’re fine up here. You didn’t have a problem with heights at the complex.”
“I was too busy then to worry about being covered in a pile of rubble after being blown to bits.” Like Max, she added silently.
“This place appears to be falling apart, but I swear it’s perfectly safe.”
“You once swore you were a Citizen Executioner.” She immediately regretted the words. Justin couldn’t help what he’d had to do as Jenner. Other people nearby would’ve expected Citizen Executioner Jenner to threaten her with the full weight of his title. If he’d been nice then, they would’ve both been disappeared. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”
“You’re frightened. Under the circumstances, I understand your need to lash out.” He looked at her as the doors opened. “I won’t let anything hurt you, Rue. I promise.”
What he left unsaid was the reason he wouldn’t let anything hurt her. His cause needed her too much.
Holding out one hand, he motioned her forward with the other. “If we spend too much more time in here, the others will wonder what happened.”
“The others?”
“Come with me and find out.”
She didn’t really want to be standing on the top floor of a potential DOE target, but she didn’t want to be trapped inside a tiny box on metal cords either. Stuffing her fears into the corner of her head, she moved forward. Within two steps, a roar rose all around her, halting her. For the space of one breath, all her fears struggled to free themselves and send her running for cover.
But the roar wasn’t a harbinger of the building’s collapse. It was applause.
Rue’s gaze snapped from left to right. The room had to encompass of the entire floor and it was wall-to-wall people. Dozens from the apartment complex mingled with scores of faces she didn’t recognize. And all of them were smiling.
“What’s going on?”
Justin pointed upwards and her eyes followed. Above the crowd was a banner. “Welcome Dr. Logan” was painted across a piece of linen in what appeared to be iodine.
“The official opening of our own hospital is cause for celebration.” With one hand he gestured toward the edge of the crowd and Crispin stepped forward. Dropping his voice into a stage whisper, he added, “Actually, it was Cris’ idea.”
She rushed toward her first friend in this crazy business and threw herself into his open arms. “Thank you.”
He swept her into a hug and set her down quickly. “You’re the one who deserves the thanks. I never dreamed you’d actually be here.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she glimpsed Shiraz staring at them. Part of her wanted to include the girl in their celebration, but any olive branches had to come from Shiraz first. Best to stay aloof and hope the girl came to her.
Before she could spend any more time worrying over her unwilling friend, Rue was passed from one person to the next, each one hugging her or shaking her hands. Names were given and forgotten as the next face appeared in front of her. By the time everyone had showered their joy on her, she was thoroughly turned around and as lost as a newborn kitten.
“Ready for the tour?” Crispin took her by the elbow.
“I’m ready for some air, if it’s okay.”
He shook his head. “Justin’s orders. No one leaves the building without an escort.”
She stared at him. Several others were nodding their heads as if it was the most natural thing in the world to be trapped inside this warehouse cum hospital. The DOE could’ve painted a big red X on the side and they wouldn’t have been any the wiser. “You’re serious?”
“They can’t catch us if they can’t find us.” He acted as if those words told the whole story. Once her confusion became apparent, he continued. “From the outside, this place looks abandoned. The DOE can’t afford to bother with empty buildings. They’ve got thousands of perfectly good Citizens to bother instead. But if they happen to see people hanging around outside the empty building…”
He didn’t finish. He didn’t need to. If the agency had an inkling people were hiding here, they wouldn’t bother to check. They’d level the place and worry about how to shoot the survivors later.
Her thoughts brought the whole picture she’d been hiding from into focus. “So, the war’s really on?”
“It’s been on, Rue. You just haven’t seen the worst of it.” He took her hand and led her toward the exit. As perceptive as always, he steered away from the elevator and used the stairwell instead. Once they were on a landing several flights below the party, he stopped. “I told Justin he needed to fill you in on what you were walking into. He didn’t believe you were ready for it. No one is ever ready for war.”
“But there hasn’t been a war until Justin started—”
“Justin didn’t start this. Hell, it really ramped up during Max’s time, but he didn’t start it either. The DOE started it. We plan to finish it.”
“What are you talking about?” She didn’t get a lot of opportunity to watch the video feeds, but she couldn’t have missed something as important as war.
“The mass transport accident you worked at the hospital? It wasn’t an accident.”
Her mind filled with the memory of all those wounded bodies until it focused on one blackened face. The woman she tried to help with high doses of painkiller. She had suffered because of that wreck. “What did Justin do?” Her whisper was so soft she wasn’t sure Crispin would hear the question.
Before she could blink, Crispin pinned her against the wall by one shoulder. She gasped, but his action didn’t hurt so much as startle.
“He didn’t do anything. We don’t bomb railways. We don’t gas Citizens.”
“But why would the DOE? Were they trying to get to the Unequals?”
He shrugged. “It’s one theory. If it ever gets out they bombed the transport themselves, they’ll certainly claim they did it to eradicate Unequals. Who knows what their real goal was, but they’ve been trying to pin the accident on what they call the underground movement.” He pointed out the window at their view of the city and laughed. “If they only knew how far above ground we really are.”
She shuddered. “Does Justin really believe you’ll be safe here? One well placed bomb would kill more Unequal than the DOE can catch in a year.”
“If you think the number of Unequals is so small, then Justin’s really been remiss. As many people as you’ve seen in this building, it’s a drop in the bucket of how many Unequals there really are. The DOE is labeling more and more people Unequal every day. If a child burps wrong, he’s shuffled out of his home and disappeared.” He let her go and she fought to keep her feet under her. “Wake up, Rue. The world’s an uglier place than you imagine.”
As she opened her mouth to explain her imagination was bigger than he guessed, a loud thump shook the building. Crispin jerked her away from the window but not before she glimpsed a puff of smoke blooming in the distance.
“What the hell was that?” Her words came out muffled against Crispin’s shirt. She tried to push away from him, but he held her tighter.
“It’s begun,” he said, his voice cold and dead against her hair.
Rue finally managed to push free enough to get a good lungful of air. “I thought the war began a long time ago.”
“It did. This is the most recent set of atrocities in its escalation. I get how he’s not your uncle anymore, but Hank Winston is one sick bastard.” He released her and stepped away. Motioning toward the glass, he encouraged her forward. “Do you see anything?”
“Smoke off toward the city’s center.” Judging from the amount and the distance, the bombing had to be a hundred times worse than what killed Max. “Where did it—?” But as she spoke the words, she guessed the source of the smoke. “Oh, god, no. Your home.”
She turned to him but through her unshed tears, his features were unrecognizable. She barely made out the curt shake of his head. “No. It wasn’t the apartment building. Not that it would matter anyway. Everyone we had there is here now.”
Her eyes narrowed as she tried to make out which part of the city had been hit. “Then what was it?”
“That, my darling Rue,” he said, his voice tinged with hate and sarcasm, “was the hospital you called home for the past ten years.”
Her first instinct was to run. Not away, but toward the site where hundreds of people might need her. It was entirely possible every one of her patients had long since left the building—either under their own power or under the plastic sheeting of the incineration crew. Those few others she knew, though—the employees—they would need her. Kyle in the cafeteria who used to sneak food to her. The lady at the flower shop in the lobby who would give her the castoffs blooms, never learning Rue used them to cheer the patients she wasn’t supposed to have. And the little nurse in pediatrics—the one she’d scared so badly. None of them deserved to lay crushed and broken beneath the DOE’s hatred.
Crispin grabbed her before she’d gone three steps. “There’s nothing you can do for any of them.” He ran a shaking hand through his hair. “Hell, Rue, there’s nothing anyone can do for the people within a half kilometer of the explosion.”
She calculated what would be happening around the hospital at that time of day. Most of the nearby homes would be empty, but the businesses would be full of Citizens going about their daily tasks. In all the years she worked there, she hadn’t so much as visited the shops and yet she continued to feel a kinship toward those people. And they were gone. So much ash and dust blowing into the sky like a filthy tornado.
Rue didn’t realize her knees had buckled until her bottom hit the step behind her. Crispin grabbed her arm before she could slide down the flight of stairs. “Why?”
He wanted to shrug. She could see it in his eyes. Thankfully, he had the good sense to realize she would punch him for the gesture. Instead, he shook his head at her. “I wish I knew what makes your uncle do the things he does. Too many of us have spent too long trying to figure out what makes Winston tick. It’s pointless.” His next words spat forth with such venom, Rue couldn’t help but flinch. “Maybe we’ll put it on his tombstone once we finally kill him. He was pointless. It’d be a fitting epitaph.”
TWENTY-THREE
Rue didn’t have any clue how she managed to stand. She wouldn’t remember afterwards how she made it to the hospital’s new emergency room. Everything was a nightmare she couldn’t wake up from. She was the one issuing orders to the Unequals milling around her, but she couldn’t marry the images together later.
The first wave of helpless victims from areas farthest from the blast zone arrived before she had everything ready. Concussive injuries not requiring too much attention were the first. No sooner had Rue’s new staff finished bandaging the last of those and the next wave arrived. Burn victims shuffled in, trailing remnants of tattered clothing and sloughed skin. Not long afterwards, gurneys were pushed through the doors carrying the worst of the next wave.
Rue moved from one patient to the next like a robot. She helped the ones she could and medicated the ones she couldn’t. Stolen supplies from the place she had called home for over a decade eased the pain, cleansed the wounds, and silenced the screams. She couldn’t spare the time to wonder about the place where they’d incurred their injuries. She didn’t have time to delve into her own pain. She left it lurking just below the surface.
A voice from a nearby examination table drew her attention. “Rue?”
She turned toward the sound, but the thing lying there was so far from its original visage, she couldn’t identify the speaker. Some small part of her hoped it was her uncle, caught by his own machinations.
“Yes?” she asked as she stepped closer. She didn’t need to examine the carnage beneath the thin blanket. This person, whoever they were, wouldn’t live through the night, no matter what she did. Raising a hand, she gestured for one of the others to bring her kit. She had enough opiate inside it to send this poor soul into a deep sleep. He or she would be unconscious long enough to escape the pain as they passed out of this life.
“I thought…”
It sounded like a man, if Rue could judge gender by the soft syllables.
“We all assumed… The DOE had… You were dead.”
She took his wrecked hand into her own, holding back a cringe over his cracked flesh. “I’m right here, and I’m fine.” One eye opened enough for her to see the crystal-clear blue and her heart sank. “Oh, no. Kyle.”
Her first thoughts after the blast had been of her single friend inside. The one who’d sneaked her food and hid the secret of her constant presence. If she’d had more time to think, she would’ve wished for him to be at the epicenter, where his pain would’ve risen and then fallen away in an instant.
“What were you doing outside the hospital during your shift?” Once the words left her mouth, she cursed her own stupidity. Answering would drain what precious little energy he had left. About to take back her question, she saw the look in his eyes and let him speak.
“Someone sent for me” His breath whispered the words. “An email. It told me… I needed to leave… to get away from the… I waited too long… I didn’t want to leave… the last I had of you.”
Rue couldn’t stifle the shiver running down her back. Thankfully, her friend was beyond seeing. His eyes had acquired a glaze she was all too familiar with. “I’m so sorry.”
“Not your fault. Did you send for me? Did you send the—?”
She gripped his hand as tightly as she could without harming him further. “Yes.” As much as she hated herself for lying, the truth wouldn’t help Kyle. With mere moments left to live, the best she could do was to offer him one happy image to carry with him.
“I’m sorry I was late.”
“You weren’t… You don’t…” The words stuck in her throat as his pulse stuttered once and then stopped. Tears welled in her eyes. Her head fell toward his chest.
“Dr. Logan? We need you.”
Three little words ended the single moment she would be able to spare for grief. Maybe if she’d had time to train someone else, she could’ve spent more time with Kyle. As it was, she had to suck down her pain and her tears. She would cry after the crisis was over.
If it would ever be over.
The next minutes Rue had to herself came much later. She noticed someone had switched on all the overhead lights. One quick glance out the nearest window told her night had fallen and she thanked technology for keeping anyone from seeing the lights on inside this supposedly empty building. She could watch them, but they couldn’t watch her. In the distance, the glow from the smoldering section lit up the city.
“They’re blaming the explosion on us,” Crispin said from behind her.
She didn’t turn to look at him. She didn’t care who took the blame. In the end, it didn’t matter who set the bomb off. What mattered were the reasons anyone would need to bomb anything. As far as she was concerned, the Unequals were probably as guilty as the DOE. This stupid war… for what?
She nudged Crispin out of the way. “I have patients to see.”
“You need to take a break.” He grasped her wrist. She flinched before she realized how gently he was holding her—as if she was made of glass.
“Let me go.” Rue could easily pull herself free, but she couldn’t muster the will. “I’m fine.” Except she wasn’t. Hours earlier, Kyle’s body had been moved off to make room for another wrecked human. His wasn’t the first to christen the new morgue, but to her heart, his death was the first that mattered.
“Kyle was no more than a Citizen Cook. He came to work. He went home. He lived his life by the rules… Except for the ones he broke to help me.” She felt as though her cheeks were splashed with her friend’s warm, wet blood, as they had been with Max’s. She was afraid to brush it away and see it on her hands again. The red life soaking out of some kid in the emergency room ages ago. The red life of the mother who bled to death after delivering a too-early baby.
“Rue?” Crispin’s voice penetrated the dense fog of horror her memories created, but it didn’t pull her out. With so many dead in the past ten years, the fog would never go away. It couldn’t go away.
“I can never make it go away,” she said aloud.
His arms wrapped around her as she struggled with the fog. Then she was being lifted. For a few moments, she rocked in the lullaby her mother sang.
And when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall…
But the kind and comforting words Crispin whispered against her hair weren’t her mother’s lullaby. He laid her down and, after pulling a thick comforter up to her chin, he caressed her face and crooned nonsensical words. For a brief instant, she wondered if he’d tucked her inside the nursery. But his crooning wasn’t for some child. It was for her.
Content in the gentleness around her, she drifted into a cocoon of cotton and slept.
Seconds later, she awoke to her own screams and the bright light of day.
After a few rasped breaths, she realized what she assumed were seconds had been hours. The sunlight streaming through the hazy glass provided more than enough proof. The buzz of activity outside her room underscored the knowledge. Before she could wonder where she was or what was happening, memories of the previous night flooded her.
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