by JC Hawke
“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” Megan roars as she and Lucy bend over in the seat, laughing.
I bite my lip, unsure as to what I should say to the poor girl in front of me.
“Anal Tuesdays for the win!” Megan heaves out between her hysterics.
“We are not making this a thing. Both of you stop.” I point at them.
“You already did, don’t blame us. Anal Tuesdays is a thing, and it’s all yours. Own it.” Megan chuckles, raising her coffee cup.
My mortification only rises when Scarlet lifts her cup to the girls.
“To anal Tuesdays.” She shrugs.
Fuck my life.
I leave my immature friends at the coffee shop. They are corrupting Mason’s poor sister, and I don’t think there is anything I could do about it.
She just fits with them.
Us.
I could do with Vinny today, and it’s odd not having him waiting for me. I have a one on one at two, and it’s already quarter to. I weave through the busy streets fast walking and dodging passersby to try and get myself there on time. Rounding the corner to the studio, I spot a commotion at the entrance. I stop on the corner, taking in the scene, but the second Logan’s fist rears back, I am catapulting myself towards him on autopilot.
“Logan!” I shout.
He stills, turning to face me. “Fucking hell, Nina! Where have you been? I’ve been calling all morning!”
I frown, then remember that I put my phone on silent when I was in the registration office. “Sorry, I was in a meeting. What’s going on?” I frown as I notice the suit that is currently sticking a SOLD sign in the gym window.
“Umm, what the hell are you doing?” I grab his sleeve, and he shoves me off unamused.
“If one more person touches me, I’m calling the police,” he warns, his face red with anger.
I can tell Logan has given him just about as much as he can take.
I step back with my hands up. “Okay. This is my studio, and it’s not for sale. There must be some kind of mistake.”
“Then go fix it!” he spits, turning and stomping off down the road towards his car
I turn to Logan, shaking my head in utter shock. “What the fuck?”
“I have no idea; they turned up an hour ago demanding I left the premises.”
“I will call Erin, it will be a misunderstanding.”
It has to be.
I go to push through the door, but it’s locked, so I open my bag in search of my keys, only Logan stops me with a hand on my arm.
“They changed them, Nina. The locks. I tried to stop them, but he had all these documents. I didn’t know what else to do.”
I stare at the door, completely at a loss.
What the hell is going on?
Digging into my bag, I find my phone. I have a missed call from Erin, and my heart sinks.
My hand trembles as I lift the phone to my ear, pressing play on the voicemail that’s waiting for me.
My nostrils flare as her emotionless voice fills the line, and tears fill my eyes.
“Nina, I’ve had to sell the studio. Don’t contact me again. I need a fresh start and a clear break from London.” She huffs down the phone, and I frown at her heartless words. They have absolutely no sincerity in them. “Thanks for everything.”
“It’s been sold, hasn’t it?” Logan mutters, hands on his hips as he shakes his head in disbelief.
“I don’t know.” A tear rolls down my cheek.
“Well, either it’s sold or it’s not Nina? What did she say?”
Everything seems to slow, the cars on the street, the people that step around us, everything.
I struggle to find my voice as I look up at Logan.
He takes my phone and listens to the voicemail. “Bitch. What is that all about? Thanks for everything; like this is your fucking fault!”
“I’m so sorry. I will help you find another job. We can set up someplace else,” I rush out. Then I think of Henry, and how this will affect him too.
My body starts to tingle, and sweat forms on my brow. My stomach rolls. Oh god.
I bend, vomiting onto the curb.
“You’re sure I’m okay to leave you here?” Logan asks as we enter my apartment, his hand smoothing over my back.
“Yes, you go. I will be fine. I’m so sorry, Logan.”
“Will you stop that?! We will get it sorted.”
I nod my head, but the sinking feeling in my gut tells me we won’t.
I can feel everything slipping away from me.
“Call the girls, yeah?” he tells me, turning and moving for the door, but looking back at the last minute with a sad look in his eyes.
He doesn’t want to leave me.
“Go. I will be okay.”
He slips through the door, closing it gently behind him, and as the lock clicks, my tears fall. I look around my little apartment, wondering what comes next—the loans, this place, the showcase.
My showcase.
The girls have worked so hard for this. I have worked so hard for this.
I go to my bag and pull out my phone.
I call Mason.
Nothing.
“Mase,” my voice cracks and I try to swallow past the lump in my throat. “Can you call me back?”
I try Lucy instead.
Nothing.
My shoulders shake, no longer being able to hold back the faucet of tears. I slide down the wall to the floor. My studio is gone. Erin has sold it. I knew it was too good to be true.
My hand covers my mouth as a sob escapes me, and I do nothing to stop it, not the pain, not the tears and not the wails that echo throughout the apartment.
“Why!” My hand hits on the ground in a feeble attempt to free my hurt. “Why couldn’t I just have one thing. One safe space,” I cry.
My head thuds to the floor boards as I curl into myself, my body shaking with each broken cry.
I’ve never felt more alone.
24
Mase
Sold.
That’s what my email told me when I checked this morning. Cara sold the studio overnight, and the locks were changed this morning.
A sick feeling fills my gut all day, knowing there is no going back.
I’ve sold her studio. To think last night she completely gave herself to me, and I took it.
It’s early afternoon when the call comes. The call I’ve been waiting for, but now that it is here, and she needs me, I don’t answer. Instead, I watch as it rings out and goes to voicemail.
My body is at war with itself. The need to know where she is and that she is okay is overwhelming, but the coward in me wants to stay far away.
I did what had to be done.
Fuck.
Nina
After calling Mason, Lucy and Megan with no luck, I knew there was only one other person I had left. I breathe out a sigh of relief as Maggie passes me a cup of tea, joining me on her sofa.
As soon as I called, she left work, telling her boss she was leaving for a family emergency whilst I was still on the phone.
Family, she had said.
“What am I going to do, Mags? I barely scrape through each month as it is. I won’t afford my apartment without the studio and the loans. How will I make this month’s payment?”
She reaches over and takes my hand in hers, giving me a look. “Well, that’s enough of that. You know me and John would never see you struggle, darling.”
“I can’t rely on you guys again. You’ve already done too much.”
“We will be the judge of that. Now, where are you with the lease on the apartment? Can you ask for a month’s grace until you find your feet again?”
I worry my lip. I haven’t told Maggie about Mase yet. She knows I have a boyfriend but not how deep I’ve gotten myself involved. I drop my head, staring into my mug. “I’m living with Mason. I haven’t slept in my apartment since I got back from Paris.”
Her hand leaves mine, and she lowers her tea to the coffee tabl
e. “You’re living together?” Her smile widens in approval. She looks happy for me.
“Kind of.” I shrug.
“You didn’t say anything! Nina, this is wonderful news. You’re happy?” she questions.
“I’m so happy. He cares for me, maybe more than anyone ever has.”
I look down at my lap as I think about his beautiful face, the way he smiles unashamedly when he’s with me. I know I’m lucky; I get the Mase nobody else gets to see.
“Well, that’s impossible,” she whispers.
I lift my eyes to hers as her voice cracks, finding tears welling in her eyes. “Why are you crying?” I ask.
“My dear girl, you have so much love, so much ambition and drive. I have told you a million times over how proud we all are of you, and you still don’t see it. You’re more than we could have ever hoped you to be. To see you happy and finally letting someone in–because you sure as hell never let me in,” she teases. “It just makes a mother very happy.”
“Mags.” I look to the ceiling trying to stop the tears.
Maggie has always been the mother I wished I had, and with that comes guilt.
“I know, I’m not helping. Get the laptop, darling. I will look up spaces for rent whilst you call the bank.”
I climb to my knees and lean down, cuddling her, feeling grateful to have a woman like her in my life.
We found nothing. Everything was either too expensive or not suitable and would need a ton of work. There are a couple of warehouses outside the city, but I know the girls won’t travel that far for rehearsals, and as of right now, I have no transport myself. We tried to find somewhere to hire on an hourly basis, but nothing is consistent—nothing that would work. Nothing that even comes close to my studio.
“I’ve set up an alert, so anything coming up for rent will pop up on my email. You should set it up on yours, too. In case I miss it.”
“Yeah, I will.” I drop my head back, defeated.
“We will find something. Don’t panic.”
“I’m not.” I smile sadly, feeling an ache in the back of my throat.
She lies back on the sofa next to me, a comfortable silence falling over us.
“Luce mentioned your mum may have kept money from a potential…” she hesitates, not knowing how to say it.
“Father,” I finish for her.
“Have you spoken to her?”
“No. I was waiting until after the showcase.”
She nods, looking back to the ceiling. “How do you feel about it?”
My phone starts to vibrate on the table, and I’m glad for the interruption. As much as I love Maggie and appreciate all she does for me, there is nothing I hate more than discussing Mum.
Mason’s name lights up my screen.
Finally.
“Hey!”
“Where are you?” he panics.
“I’m at Lucy’s parents’. I couldn’t get hold of you. Did you get my message?” My voice quivers and Maggie’s hand slips into mine. “Erin sold the studio.”
“Yeah, did she say why?” he asks.
“No. Maybe. I can’t remember; I was in shock. They changed the locks. Can they do that? I don’t even have my things from inside.”
“We will get your things. Send me the address, I’m on my way to get you now.”
Relief fills me, and I let out a breath.; He is all I need right now.
“I will text it over now. Thank you, Mase.”
Maggie stands, pulling me up with her. “He seems like a good egg. I’m pleased for you, but you know where we are.”
“Thank you. For everything.” I smile, wrapping her up in a hug.
Mase
Once again, I underestimate Nina Anderson and her ability to remain so strong. She made it easy. Easy for me to lie to her.
Lucy and Megan have been here for the past three hours, and never have I been so grateful that she has such good friends. I’m in my office looking up potential studios for her—I know what I need to do.
Make it right.
I’ve narrowed it down to three, and they are all above and beyond what she had before, but it doesn’t ease the weight of my guilt.
I print out the advertisements and gather up all the information.
The girls are all laughing when I enter the living area, and I pause, the sound grating on me. This whole time I’ve been worried about how Nina would deal with all this. I didn’t stop to think about how I would.
Can I do this?
How do I live with myself—with her, knowing I will have to keep it from her. There’s no way she would stay if she knew.
She doesn’t deserve this.
“Mase, take her to bed and make her forget about today. She’s considering stripping as her next form of income.”
I snap my eyes to Nina’s in mortification, but she gives me a reassuring look. “Calm down, Bossman. You know I would never.” She looks at Megan. “Why are you trying to wind him up?”
“It’s too easy.” They chuckle, and I plaster a forced smile on my face.
“Come on, bed,” I tell her.
The girls stand to hug Nina, and Lucy whispers into her ear, but it’s loud enough that I catch it. “He’s so hot when he gets aggy.”
“Thank god it’s a Wednesday,” Megan adds, and they all start to laugh again.
“Thank you, girls. I will see you tomorrow,” Nina tells them.
They disappear into the elevator, and she stands in the foyer watching after them. I slide up behind her and pull her to me.
“Mase,” her voice cracks.
Fuck.
“What am I going to do?”
She turns in my arms and stares intently into my eyes, searching for a hope that’s impossible to find.
“It’s going to be okay. I promise.” I close my eyes as the words leave my mouth, knowing I’ve broken every promise I’ve made so far.
“My little studio. It’s gone. It’s not mine anymore. It was all I had, and the only thing I could say I did on my own. What do I do now? Who am I without it?”
Panic rises in my chest, the hurt in her eyes gutting me.
I can’t lie to her.
I can’t do this.
“I need to go back into the office for an hour this evening.” I pull away from her, my feet faltering as I step back. “Will you be okay here until I get home?” I pick up my keys from the tray, then bend to slide on my trainers.
“What? You’re leaving?” Tears stream down her cheeks, and I can’t bear the look she’s giving me.
“I will be an hour tops.” My throat constricts, and I struggle to pull air into my lungs. I give her a tight smile as I enter the elevator and hit the button for the garage.
Her face is a mask of hurt and confusion as the doors slide closed.
What the fuck have I done?
Nina
Thursday morning hits me hard. I wake with a headache, and I feel lower than I have in maybe ever. I was up most of the night going over in my head what I’ll do now I’ve lost my studio. Everything I came up with is impossible.
Mason didn’t come to bed last night, and he was already gone when I woke up. I don’t know what is going on with him, but he pulled away from me last night—left me when I needed him most.
Pulling myself from the bed, I shower and dress in some comfy clothes. I have nowhere to go, and the feeling is devastating.
Tears sting my eyes as I lift the sticky note from the worktop.
Call me if you need me angel
“I needed you last night, Mase,” I mutter to myself.
I wrap my arms around my body and glance around the penthouse, hating how cold the space feels without him here. Switching on every light possible, I find my phone and plug it in, moving to my spot in the window and letting loose.
As always, my dancing brings me the escape I desperately crave. But after two hours of solid dancing, I have to stop. My muscles are on fire from pushing my body to the brink of collapse.
My day w
ent downhill from there.
I decided to make a cake. Maggie told me how easy it is and to do eight ounces of everything. I called her in a fit of tears when the sloppy mixture wouldn’t hold together. We soon figured out that I used eight eggs instead of eight ounces, but yeah, I cried over a cake.
I tried not to let it get me down, moving to the walk-in wardrobe where I rearranged my things, finally hanging up the few items I’d packed up, feeling like an imposter in somebody else’s home, but hoping it would make Mason a little happier.
He’s been stressed with work the last few days, or so he says. I know the Joey thing is still playing on his mind. And his dad. God, I’m such a bitch. I haven’t even thought about his father.
I pause at the thought, dropping the T-shirt I was holding to the floor.
It’s just a job.
I find myself laughing hysterically in the confinements of the wardrobe. It’s just a job. My laugh soon turns into tears.
I wish it were just a job.
The ping of the elevator has my eyes snapping open. I must have drifted off watching the television. My eyes feel heavy, and I know it will be obvious to Mason that I’ve been crying. I sit up and look at him over the top of the sofa. He looks tired. His eyes just as red as I expect mine are.
“Did you even come home last night?” I ask before he can greet me.
“I did. It was late and I had to be up early this morning.”
I nod my head waiting for him to come to me. He doesn’t. “Is everything okay, Mase?” My throat bobs, and I know I’m going to cry any second.
His brows pinch in, his fists clenched at his sides. “Yeah, sorry, are you okay? How was your day?”
“It was fine, I didn’t do much. Have you heard from your dad lately?” I ask, trying to not bother him with my own problems.
“Uh, yeah. I spoke to Scar yesterday.”