by JC Hawke
“Well when you do, I will come with you. I’d like to buy some copies.”
She beams at me, and I give her a soft wink.
I will do anything to keep that smile on her face. It will be my life’s mission.
“Guys, group photo!” Scarlet calls, passing the camera to Lamona, who is one of our staff.
I lean in and give Nina a deep but short kiss, then pull her over to the group. We always have photos by the rocks. Normally as a family or me and the boys. I’ve not been out here with Scar for years, not since we were kids. I never asked if she wanted to get away, and I feel shitty for it.
Looking around at the friends we have now, the girls who both fit perfectly with us and include Scar like she has been a friend for life, and then Nina, who I never expected to bring here. She is the most unexpected—the way she makes me feel.
It’s like this is how it always should have been.
“Get your hand off my ass, Elliot!” Lucy shouts, making us all chuckle.
“Not me,” he says, lifting his hands.
The flash goes off, and the girls all complain. An array of complaints ranging from their eyes being closed, and they weren’t ready. We try five more times before me, and the guys get fed up.
We leave it to the professionals and head for the beach.
Nina
We sit on the smooth sand watching Lance, Elliot, Charlie, and Mase play a variation of volleyball in the sea. I didn’t know what to expect when it came to a holiday away with them all, but this wasn’t it. It’s chilled and relaxing, and I’m having the most amazing time.
“Mase told me he wants to marry me,” I tell the girls.
“What?!” Lucy stammers.
All three of them whip their heads to me, completely speechless. “I told him that I thought you and Elliot would get it on, and he said that if nothing happens between the two of you by next year, then I had to marry him.”
“Wow. Hit us with it bareback and no lube,” Megan exclaims.
I giggle as I lean back on my elbows. They are all still watching me with a surprised look on their face. “I told him no.”
“You did?” Scarlet says, sounding dejected.
“I’m not ready for marriage. I’m twenty-eight years old. I pictured myself being a lot older before all that, if at all.”
“You haven’t been together long, babe. Just think, this time next year you might feel completely different.” Lucy shrugs. “It might be exactly what you want.”
“Am I a bitch for telling him no?”
“Yes,” Megan says at the same time Lucy and Scar say, “No.”
“Helpful, girls, thanks.”
“Sorry,” Lucy mutters. “I think it’s lovely that Mason is already so sure. He’s a smart bloke.” She gives me a wink.
“Hmm, maybe.” I hum, silence falling over us as we lie back and watch the guys in the water.
“What’s it been like at the house, Scar? You doing okay?” Megan asks.
She shrugs, not giving us her eyes and focusing on the horizon. “It’s fine.” She pauses. “It’s a big old house for just me.”
“I can imagine,” I muse, hating the idea of her out at the house on her own.
“I won’t ever leave, though. It’s home, you know.”
“I get it,” Lucy tells her. “Mum and Dad could easily go out and buy a bigger, better house, but it’s home. It’s where they brought us up, and it’s what they’ve made it now.”
The way she says ‘us’ makes my chest warm.
“Yeah, exactly that.” Scarlet smiles sadly, burying her feet deeper into the sand.
“Right, who’s coming for a dip?” Megan jumps up, clearly trying to lighten the mood. Scarlet is rarely anything other than happy and excitable. It’s hard to see her anything less than her vibrant self.
“Heck, yes!” she says, pulling her lavender hair up into a bun as she stands, then jogs off with Megan to the sea.
I sit with Lucy as we watch them in the water together.
“Easy view, huh?” She nudges my arm, smiling out at the gods before us. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen four men so physically fit—playing with their balls out in the ocean. Didn’t know I needed it.” She waggles her brows at me.
“I’m just watching the sunset.” I defend myself, and she giggles.
We fall quiet again as we watch Megan trying to climb onto Scarlet’s shoulders. They stumble, almost making it, but then fall, splashing back into the water with a screech.
“I wasn’t surprised, you know,” Lucy mutters.
I turn my head and catch her frown, her eyes still on the water. “You think that you’re a certain way. That you always leave.”
“Well, I have run out on Mase at every opportunity so far,” I remind her.
“And you always go back. Like how you’d come to mine when your mum was working. You’d have no trouble leaving, getting the space you needed because it was what felt right for you. But you always went back, willing and hopeful for it to be better when you got home.” She looks at me, her lip turning up on one side. “It’s why I knew you’d go back to him. You shouldn’t feel bad about it. And you shouldn’t let it hold you back. Marrying Mason Lowell would be…” I raise an arched brow at her. “Scary. Hot as hell, but petrifying. I mean, he isn’t your typical husband.” She laughs. “But you have to make shitty mistakes to learn. We both know that. And for the record, I don’t think marriage would be a mistake. No matter what he did, you decided to put it in the past.”
I haven’t told the girls about the studio and why Mason sold it. They know he did and that Erin isn’t who she says she is, but I agreed that no one else should be involved beyond that, and the girls never asked questions once I explained it was all I could say.
I run my fingers through the sand beneath me. “It’s the trust thing. It will come in time I’m sure. Or I hope it will. But right now. it’s not there—not fully.”
“Because he sold the studio?” I look at her. “Because of the things that he kept from you, that you have to keep from me?”
“Exactly that.” I chuckle.
“It will come, Nina. I think he’s a really special guy. It’s obvious he adores you.”
I drop my head back and look up at the sky. Soft pink hues painting it a mesmerising shade as the night draws in. The air is warm, and I feel completely relaxed.
“Twenty-nine tomorrow, Luce.” I grin, feeling her lie down next to me.
“Ugh, don’t. I’m getting old.”
“You are not old! You’re in your prime. Embrace it.”
“Remember when we were young, and twenty-eight-year-olds seemed so mature and put together.”
“Uh-huh.” I nod, reminiscing.
“Well, I don’t feel like that. Put together or mature. In my head, I am twenty-one still. I consider going back to uni on the daily, yet I love my job. I can’t hold down a relationship because what I want isn’t real.” She blows out a harsh breath. “I applied for an internship in New York.”
“What? When?”
“Three months ago, I got it. They gave me four months to respond.”
I sit up in a rush, turning to look down at her. “Luce! That’s huge.”
“I turned it down.”
“What?!”
I see her throat bob as she swallows the lump there.
She regrets it.
“I didn’t think I could do it on my own. I’m twenty-nine tomorrow,” she sniggers. “and I don’t feel independent. I don’t feel like I’m my own person.”
“What makes you think you aren’t independent? You’re one of the most grounded people I know, Luce.”
She shrugs, looking for the right words. “I guess it’s me holding myself back, and I feel like I should be loyal to Jean. I don’t know what she’d do without me.”
“The fact you worry about being loyal says everything about your loyalty. Jean wouldn’t let you stay if she knew. You know that.”
“I know, which is why it�
��s a rubbish excuse.”
“You don’t want to go,” I state.
She shrugs, smiling softly. “My gut told me no.”
“Then you did the right thing,” I affirm. “Don’t ever think you need to be more than you are right now, Luce. You may be feeling a little lost, but I know exactly who you are. So do you, deep down.”
“Thanks, Nina.”
“Always.” I stand and take her hands, urging her to get up. “And don’t worry, there’s always Botox.”
“Piss off, you cheeky bitch.” She laughs, standing and slipping her arm in mine as we head for the shoreline.
It’s late afternoon, and the girls are all holed up in Mason’s and my room. The boys are sat below us on the patio, their chatter drifting up and into the room.
We have been here for four days and have to go home soon, and I don’t want to leave. Mason is happy here, and I mean really happy, which is remarkable given what he and Scar have endured recently.
I wish we could hide away here forever.
Me and my Mase. The happy version, where there isn’t work and money and responsibility.
I pull open the shower door and frown. Megan is in the bathroom pulling on a floral two-piece.
“I’m pretty sure that’s mine,” I tell her.
“But look how good it looks on me.” She pouts.
“I know, it’s super cute. That’s why I bought it.” I smile, checking her out as I slip on my underwear. “It does wonders for your tits mind.”
“Right!” She sulks as she starts taking it off. Lucy and Scarlet are already dressed and are lying on the bed, looking at something on Lucy’s phone. I drop my towel and start to dress.
I can feel Megan watching me as I pull on the shorts. “Fuck off. It’s my outfit; get your own.” I chuckle.
“I wasn’t looking at that.” She nods to my stomach and frowns.
I look down, running my hand across my belly defensively. “What?”
“Turn to the side.”
I spin and look down in the mirror, noticing Lucy and Scarlet’s eyes now on me also. “I’m really bloated,” I say in annoyance, slumping my shoulders and pulling the shorts higher over my hips. “I’m due on, I think.”
“That’s quite the bloat.”
“Alright! I haven’t been dancing as much. I’m back to it now, though. It won’t take long to lose the few pounds I’ve put on.”
“Oh, please! You look phenomenal. That’s not what I meant, silly.” Megan tries to assure me, but I feel crappy. “You have… a… a little… bump.” Her brows shoot up as she says it.
“Nina?” Lucy questions.
“I’m due on, and I’m bloated. Stop being a dick, Megs!” I tut. “I’m on the pill.”
“Nobody actually said that word,” Megan says.
“But you implied. With your judgey eyes.” I glare, pulling the top over my head.
“Nina.” Megan steps up to me. She isn’t a serious person, but the look she gives me fills me with worry, and my gut twists. “Babe, it doesn’t look like bloat. I’m not being mean. When are you due on?”
Panic fills me as I run my hand over my stomach, trying to think.
Fuck, when am I due on?
“I can’t think.”
“Don’t panic,” Lucy coos, jumping up from the bed and coming to me.
“Do you track your periods?” Scarlet asks.
“Yes, always.” I run my hand through my hair and notice I’m shaking.
I’m on the pill. This is ridiculous. I’ve not been dancing, and they are working me up over nothing. I’ve been in a bikini the whole holiday, if it were anything other than bloat they would have noticed before. I would have noticed.
“Where is your phone?” Lucy starts moving around the room in search of it.
I rack my brain, thinking back to the last time I had a period.
And then it comes to me. “The day I crashed Mase’s car. I came on that night. He almost called an ambulance.”
“When was that?” Megan snaps.
I stare at her. “I don’t know.” Fuck! “I can’t think.”
Lucy takes my hand, her face panicked. “Nina, are you pregnant?”
34
Nina
“Keep your fucking voice down!” I hiss, moving to the double doors and pulling them closed. I do not need the boys hearing this. “Scarlet, when was the accident?”
“Must have been a good couple months ago? I think,” she tells me, and my body heats instantly, a cold sweat breaking out across my skin.
“Fucking hell.” Lucy fans her face, her eyes wild.
“Calm down. I’m not fucking pregnant.” My eyes flick between them all, my stomach in knots. “Cocktails. I need a cocktail. You’re all a bunch of drama queens.”
I move to the bathroom and close the door. Needing the space from them. I’m not easily influenced, but the way the girls were looking at me has panic clawing its way up my chest.
I look in the mirror and eye the slight swell that sits below my belly button.
Lowering my hand, I stretch the skin, noticing how the bulge only protrudes farther.
I’m due on. I know I am. And I always bloat. That with the bread we had last night and all the alcohol, it’s given me bad bloat.
The door knocks open against my back, and I move to let the girls in. None of them say a word, and their silence pisses me off more than their probing.
Lucy pulls back my hair and starts braiding it while Megan drops sandals at my feet. Scarlet follows their lead, blotting at my cheeks before covering my face with a ton of makeup.
I hadn’t realised I was crying.
Mase
Nina has been quiet all night, and I don’t know why. I just know something is wrong.
Maybe it’s because I brought up marriage. I know it was too soon, but she has seemed okay since I told her not to worry about it.
It’s something else.
Everyone has gone to bed, but I’m still up, sitting on the terrace and watching as the waves crash against the rocks in the distance. It’s been an incredible week with everyone, but I know I have things to deal with when I get home. Dad didn’t get around to managing his affairs, and if we don’t handle it right, then the properties he owned could end up in the wrong hands.
We need to be smart.
I just don’t want to deal with it yet. With any of it.
“Mase?” Scarlet’s soft voice pulls me from my thoughts as she drops to the seat next to me. “Can’t sleep?” I ask.
She shakes her head, and I pull her into my side. We used to do this when we were young. Only Mum and Dad would be cuddled up on the other sofa.
“Do you think about them?” she asks after a while, so quietly I almost don’t catch it.
“All the time,” I tell her honestly.
“Me too. I like being here. We should’ve come out together sooner.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, Scar,” I say against her head. “I’ve been shit, and it isn’t fair on you.”
“Everyone deals with grief differently, Mason. It’s how you move forward that will show me you’re not a complete ass.”
My chest vibrates with a light chuckle.
“There is something I need to tell you,” she says, leaning her head back against my arm so she can see my face. “I spoke to Dad’s doctor at the house that day.”
My heart jolts in my chest. How can she talk about it so frankly?
Why is my baby sister stronger than I am?
“He never received any treatment offered.”
“What?” I snap, my face screwing up as I look down at her. “What do you mean?”
“He rejected the option of having a transplant. He didn’t think he deserved one.”
“He knew he was going to die?”
“Yeah, maybe not as soon as he did. But Dr Sarnmer told me he was aware the end was near. Nearer than we thought anyway.”
“Why didn’t he tell us? Tell you?”
He woul
dn’t have told me. He probably thought I didn’t care.
“Because he knew we would never have allowed it.”
“Fucking hell.”
“Sorry, I just thought you should know,” she whispers.
I wish I didn’t. He spent months at the house knowing he would die and didn’t do a thing about it.
“He met Nina.” She smiles. “I know having you come to the house was important to him. He saw the shift, Mason.”
“Yeah.”
She smiles up at me knowingly, and I glare back, unsure of what is about to leave her mouth. “Nina told me about the proposal.”
“It wasn’t a proposal!” I drop my head back. Why did I ever say that? I should have kept my mouth closed.
She laughs. “She isn’t as freaked out as you think. She just wasn’t expecting it.”
I shake my head, thinking about my stubborn Pixie. She drives me crazy in the best possible way.
“She’s special. You did good,” Scarlet tells me.
“I only mentioned it because I felt like I could see it. You know, marriage, kids, a place out of the city. I know how desperately she craves a home—something more than she had.”
“Kids? Did you just say kids?”
“Not yet.” I shake my head, smiling. “But in the future, with Nina? Absolutely.”
“Interesting.”
“Yeah.” Real fucking interesting since she point blank told me no.
Nina
The last few days have passed in a blur. The girls haven’t mentioned what happened, and I’m grateful. I’ve still not had my period, and although I’ve tried to bury my head in the sand about it, my conscience has been working overtime.
I’ve barely drunk, and I have faked two migraines to get out of the evening drinking sessions. No one suspected a thing, and I didn’t make a big deal out of it, but the girls know me. They can tell I’m rattled.
It’s our final day on the island, and we are supposed to be going out for the day. The boys told us to be ready for ten a.m. but wouldn’t tell us what we are doing.