“Would it surprise you?”
“Nothing surprises me, Antelope. I’m a hard case. All my illusions crashed and burned when the Church I loved more than I could ever love a man got broken beyond repair. I’m an ex-nun, that’s the definition of disillusionment.”
“How did you end up sharing a house with Stacey?”
“I got tired of living in a box at the Evergreen Apartments. A more austere place than the convent, but I couldn’t afford anything more. Stacey came back from Laramie after she finished her master’s degree and got engaged to Connor, and she wanted to be over here in Rock Springs.
Once she got the job at the college, she convinced her mother the commute would be too dangerous in the winter. Fern wanted to keep her at home in Green River so she could maintain the delusion Stacey was a virgin. The woman lives in a dream world. As an ex-nun, I made the perfect roommate; that smoothed things over with her mother. With Stacey paying half the rent, we could easily afford our little house.”
Most of this Antelope already knew. “Tell me about Stacey’s relationship with Connor.”
“She didn’t open up to me about it. We were roommates in the strictest sense. She lived her life, came and went as she pleased. The truth is, she spent more nights with Connor than she did at our place. The whole thing, her living with me, was a cover to get away from home to shack up with Connor. I can’t blame her for wanting her own life and the freedom to make her own choices; she was twenty-six, after all.”
“Why did they wait so long to get married, any idea?”
“Type A personalities, both of them—ambitious, driven, achievement oriented, goal directed. They wanted to wait until they were both out of school and started on their careers. They’re pretty much the epitome of responsibility, and after ten years together maybe the urgency wore off.”
“Would you say Stacey was a typical bride to be?”
Toni rolled her eyes. “You seem to think there is such a thing. I’m not sure I know what you mean—happy, excited, stars in her eyes, can’t wait for the big day, all that Bride’s Magazine stuff?”
“Like that.”
“I think so, but she was a serious person and a private person. So am I. We didn’t have any late-night roomie talks about boys and romance.”
“You notice any changes in her mood?”
“I’m a pain in the ass, useless witness, but don’t tell Carlton. I rarely saw the woman, especially the last few months once they started work on the house. She spent all her time over there. If anything, the renovations excited her even more than the wedding. Progress on the house made up most of her conversation. Before the work on the house started, she devoted the same attention to detail to the wedding, but once construction got underway . . .” Toni leaned forward. “One thing made me think there was some trouble in paradise, though.”
“Tell me.”
“The place was all mine on weekends; she always stayed at Connor’s. She left for work Friday morning and I wouldn’t see her again until Monday after work. About a month ago she came home late on a Saturday night, scared me half to death. I didn’t expect to see her in the middle of the night.”
“What time?” Antelope asked.
“I think it was two or three in the morning, though I can’t be sure. Earlier that evening, Carleton brought me a takeout dinner from the Wonderful House . . . One of his dark moods set in. The pity party annoyed me. You know how he can get?”
Antelope nodded.
“All alone on Saturday night is not a problem for me. I had fifteen years of practice.” Toni chuckled. “I opened a Yellowtail Chardonnay, ate my General Tsao’s chicken, and watched a movie on Netflix all by my lonesome.” She arched an eyebrow. “I’m setting the scene here for you. It’s fair to say I was a bit tipsy when Stacey showed up.”
“And when she did . . .” he prompted.
“I figured she’d argued with Connor. Why else would she come home? But I never asked her about it. I kept my distance and it worked for us. We finished off the first bottle and Stacey opened another and poured us both another drink. It was a sweet moment: two women drinking wine, without the bullshit men bring. Then she asked me a question that would have sparked an interest if I’d been sober. Bottom line, I didn’t pursue it, and in retrospect I regret it. Today, when Carlton told me she was dead, murdered, it was like a spotlight came on and lit up the conversation in neon lights.”
“What did Stacey ask you?”
“She asked if I knew the difference between a narcissist and a sociopath.”
“Interesting question. What did you say?”
“I told her I happened to be an expert on the topic of narcissists and sociopaths. I worked for years side by side with priests who pass for men of God in the Catholic Church but are hollow on the inside. What I learned from a couple of them in particular is this: Sociopaths are charming and always conniving and setting up the con; they’re motivated by self-interest and lacking in empathy. The narcissist shares all those characteristics but has a deep need for validation from others and is motivated to always be seen in the best light. They have fragile personalities; they’re easily wounded and, once hurt, will never forgive and forget. It’s a fine line between the two.”
“What did she say?”
“She went quiet, folded her hands in her lap, and took a long look at the rock Connor spent a fortune on. She drank her whole glass of wine down in one long swallow. Usually, she didn’t drink much. She set the glass down and said, ‘So the sociopath is more dangerous?’”
“To which you said . . .”
“They both want control. The sociopath will steal your money and ruin your finances. The narcissist will steal your heart and ruin your life. Which one can’t you afford to lose?”
“What did Stacey say to that?”
“She said, ‘I’ll have to think about it.’ Then she went to bed and we never spoke of it again.”
He’d had a feeling Toni would have the insider view of Stacey.
“What’s this guy Swailes like?” she asked.
“Val Campion’s his uncle, if that tells you anything.”
“The creep who owns the strip clubs?”
“You know Val?”
“Not personally, I know people who know Val.”
“Bad pedigree.” Antelope shook his head. “My deputy ran a BCI check on Swailes and came up with three domestic violence cases. We put out an All Points Bulletin for Wyoming, Montana, Utah, and Colorado. Whichever way he ran, we’ll catch up with him. Not a smart decision to leave town.”
“Carlton told me he found Stacey’s body. Is he a person of interest?”
“I have some questions for him when we find him. You never met him?”
“Stacey didn’t bring people home. Not even Connor. But I knew them both from church—they attended when they were kids, back before I left the order. She kept the different parts of her life separate. I figured it was because her mother controlled her every move. When she got free she wouldn’t let anyone control her again.”
“Smart woman, but you said Connor always wanted to know where she was.”
“As much as Stacey didn’t want to be controlled, she needed security, and Connor gave her security. Two sides of the same coin, if you ask me.”
“When did you work side by side with a sociopath?”
“It was a long time ago, Antelope. We don’t need to go there. I’m sorry I brought it up. I wouldn’t have except it fit with the Stacey story.”
“The way you talk, it could have happened yesterday.”
The band took a break and the room got quiet.
Toni looked at her watch. “I’m ready to call it a night. It’s a long story. Let’s do this another time.”
CHAPTER 16
Antelope felt tired to the bone when he left the Saddle Lite, but the whiskey had killed the migraine, leaving him with a pleasant, light-headed feeling.
He cruised through the blinking traffic lights on Elk Street. The road
s would be empty until 2:00 a.m. when the bars shut down and the drunks headed home.
Cedar Street was on the way to his place. The door would be locked but he could be alone there on the porch. He stepped over the yellow tape and sat down on the front steps. He surveyed the quiet neighborhood; not one light on in any of the houses along the silent street.
He closed his eyes; he was almost dozing off when the midnight bells rang out from Our Lady of Sorrows.
A white globe of moon hung above the tall pines and lit up the night in silver fluorescence. Among the polished black stones at the edge of the wildflower garden, something sparkled and reflected the light. Down on his knees, he smoothed the soil away and exposed his find. A few minutes later, he had a video and photographs of the ring, a diamond solitaire in a platinum band, and was holding the ring itself in an evidence bag.
He stayed a few minutes longer to acknowledge the gift, then left Stacey’s spirit to rest and drove himself home.
CHAPTER 17
When Max stepped out of the shower, he heard loud knocking—three fist bangs on the aluminum storm door. He’d trained everyone he knew not to show up unannounced; he didn’t like to be surprised by unexpected visitors.
Not a naturally friendly guy, he’d made no effort to create a place visitors would find welcoming. His home was for his comfort alone; it was his private cave, a place of retreat. The double-wide mobile home was the last one on the street, set apart from the others; hard to get to, the way he liked.
Through an opening in the vinyl blinds he saw her, arms folded across her chest, tapping her foot and biting her lip, impatient and annoyed, a six-pack in her hand.
As she raised her fist to knock again, he pulled the door open. She fell forward and he reached for her hand and pulled her into the house. She gasped at his touch and he felt a jolt, like a live wire, pass between them.
“Is it okay I came?”
“Shut up, Kelly,” he said and closed the door behind her.
“You didn’t call. I thought you’d call.”
“My phone didn’t ring, either. And I did call you.”
“Why didn’t you call again? I don’t want to be alone. I mean . . . I can’t be with anyone but you.”
“Give me that,” he said, taking the beer out of her hands. He put four bottles in the refrigerator and opened one for each of them.
“You’re drinking?” she asked.
“Sometimes; not like before.” He avoided her gaze. “I can control it now. Did you eat? I’m thinking about ordering Chinese.”
“I’m starving. I didn’t eat all day except for some Ben & Jerry’s I threw up.”
Max kept the number for the Wonderful House Chinese Restaurant on speed dial. He made the call, and while he placed the order, Kelly put on one of his sweatshirts. Her hair was in a complicated knot on her head; she let it fall loose over her shoulders, a tangled mass of black silk.
“Want the heat on?” Max asked her.
“No, it’s summer. You don’t want a heating bill this time of year.”
Her lips were blue and her teeth were chattering. Still half wet and wrapped in a towel, Max felt chilled himself. He turned on the heat and the baseboard unit came to life with small metal clicks. “Have a seat. Let me get some clothes on.”
When he came back, she was at the kitchen bar. He tapped her bare foot.
“You want socks?”
“I’m warming up. My friend turned on the heat for me.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“This is your man cave. I kind of busted in.”
“I don’t like surprises. But it’s never a mistake when you come here.” He smiled. “You look like a mermaid with your hair all crinkled.”
“I braided it for work, but I couldn’t work.”
“It’s not your average day.”
“The last time I saw her . . . I wish it was different.”
Max reached over and tugged her hair. “Hey, we never know.”
“You’re right, I guess. Still I want a do-over . . .”
“What did you do?”
“You wouldn’t get it. Just the usual chick stuff, PMS bitchiness, nothing important.”
Max frowned. “For real, what happened?”
“Can I have another beer?” She raised her empty bottle.
He took the empty from her, opened another bottle of Coors, and put it in her hand. “No excuses now. Tell me. You know you want to.”
“I feel like shit. I should never have said anything. I don’t want you to think anything bad about her, okay?”
“She’s my sister and she’s dead. I doubt you could say anything to make me think anything bad about her.”
Kelly swigged her beer. “She told me she’d developed feelings for the guy who worked on the house and she thought he felt the same about her. Is this news to you?”
“She never said a word. What did you say to her?”
“I didn’t take her side. She wanted me to be supportive, you know, excited for her, and I wasn’t. It’s not like Connor is some anonymous dude. He’s a friend too. I felt bad for him.”
“That’s what’s got you all guilty?”
“It sort of crushed her that I wasn’t happy for her. Maybe you have to be a girl to get it.”
Max rubbed the back of his neck. “You ever think we’re cursed when it comes to people dying? We’ve got to be above the national average for people our age.”
“That’s random. Also, you’re changing the subject.”
“My therapist calls me out on that all the time.”
Kelly’s eyes widened. “Since when do you go to therapy?”
“Six months now.” Max picked at the label on his beer. “Don’t look so shocked. Real men talk about their feelings.”
“That won’t sell beer. Why did you decide to go?”
“Some stuff felt too big to deal with alone.”
“Does it help?”
“Well, I no longer harbor a constant desire to hurt people . . . until today, today totally fucked with my mental stability. But you didn’t come here to talk about my therapy.”
“Where’s the takeout? I’m starving.”
As if she’d snapped her fingers, there was a knock on the door. Max pulled cash from his pocket, paid the delivery guy, and came back with the brown paper bag full of food clutched in his right hand.
They ate in silence for a few minutes, and then Kelly raised her bottle. “Let’s drink to Stacey.”
Max clinked his bottle against hers, and took a long drink. The electric heat ticked away and the house heated up around them. Steam covered the kitchen windows.
“Have you talked to Connor?” Kelly asked.
“I tried calling him but as usual his voicemail was full. He must be in a world of hurt. All I got was a two-word text, Tomorrow, bro.”
“I can’t imagine what he’s going through. They were getting married in a few weeks.”
“It’s fucked up,” Max said. He went to the refrigerator for another beer.
“What’s worse, you think, losing the person you loved enough to spend the rest of your life with, or losing a sibling?”
“All I can say is it sucks either way. And I know it hasn’t hit me full-on yet. Stacey dying is going to have its way with me for a long time. You know this territory from when Tim died.”
“My life hasn’t been the same since. It’s not like there are no happy times, but the light went out and I don’t think it’s coming back on.” She pushed her plate away. “I’ll be sick if I eat any more of this. Do you think Stacey would want Connor to fall in love and go on with his life? You know how people say the person who died wouldn’t want the one they left behind to be sad forever? Bullshit. I’d want somebody to grieve for the rest of his life for me.”
“Stacey, though, she would want him to move on,” Max mused.
“Do you think they had the real thing?”
He tapped his fork against his plate. “I always thought so. The
y’d been together forever. I wouldn’t put too much stock in her having a crush on another guy. Those things come and go. Why, what are you thinking?”
“You are an innocent.” Kelly sighed. “There’s something else you should know. But it feels wrong to blow your fantasy.”
“You started, you have to tell me.”
“Someone told Stacey Connor was seen checking into a sleazy motel with another guy.”
“No shit, for real? Who said that?”
“The contractor guy, I’m guessing. She wouldn’t tell me who it was.”
“Same guy she was into?”
“Yeah.”
“He could have made the whole thing up to get with her.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“Was she freaked out? I can’t believe she didn’t tell me.”
“I think she was trying to deal with it. She didn’t want to jump to conclusions. She put a tracker on his phone, though.”
“Jesus, this is getting dark.” Max shook his head. “This doesn’t sound like Stacey.”
“It was my idea. I told her she had to have proof before she called off the wedding.”
“She was thinking about ending it?” Max couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“She was a hot mess.”
He slumped in his seat. “I can’t believe she’s dead.”
“That’s why I came tonight. I couldn’t wrap my head around it; I started to feel all lost, out in the black alone. Then I thought about you and how you’re the only one who could ever make that feeling go away, so here I am.”
His body went still, the way it always did the rare times she talked like this. He concentrated on eating and tried his best to stay in the moment. One of the techniques he’d learned in therapy, mindfulness meditation, required focusing on the physical sensations in his body—but with Kelly that was dangerous, too.
“You have to eat some more, I can’t finish this myself,” he said, pushing her fork back into her hand.
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