by Fiona Miers
He would most certainly not inform Elizabeth of Mr. Wallace’s feelings for her. It was not his place to do so. In actual fact, William had too much on his mind to even consider speaking to his sister regarding his friend.
“Brother, are you even listening to me?” Elizabeth asked suddenly and he glanced over at her.
“Not in the least, sister. I do apologize,” William admitted.
“While I do appreciate your candor—”
“I have many important matters with which to concern myself other than your evening dancing with dukes and lords, sister.”
“You are mean,” Elizabeth muttered and crossed her arms. “I had a lovely evening. How was yours?”
“It was fine. You are aware I do enjoy these balls as much as the next person,” William lied.
“If I may ask, where did you disappear to? One moment you were conversing with Mr. Wallace and the next moment, you were missing,” she inquired, her eyes sparkling with intrigue.
“The glimmer in your eye suggests you are already aware of my whereabouts, and you are merely asking to hear if my tale corroborates with the one you heard,” William muttered and glanced out of the window once again. “Tell me this—what was it that you heard?”
“You and Emma were caught in the duke’s parlor, presumably in an intimate moment. Her dress was disheveled and your trousers undone.”
William scoffed in disgust. He could not believe the tales that would soon circulate the entire county. “That is utterly ludicrous. Why on earth would I engage in an intimate moment with Emma, and have undone trousers?”
“Precisely. Although you do have rakish tendencies. No offense, brother,” Elizabeth stated with a cringe.
“No offense taken,” he grumbled.
“I am well aware of how much the young lady frustrates you. Although you have been civil to her for the sake of James and Kitty, you would most certainly not do such a thing. Emma would not allow it either. She would toss you from the balcony, not be intimate with you. At a ball, of all places.”
William’s jaw clenched as Lizzie proceeded to emphasize how much Emma despised him, much to his dismay and frustration, but he remained quiet. The guilt, however, had begun to bubble up inside him, and he feared that soon enough he would admit to her that it had been indeed the truth.
“Of course, I did not believe those tales, as Lady Clara—”
“She was the one who told you?” William interjected.
“Indeed,” she answered. “But all of Somerset is aware of how tall Lady Clara tends to weave a tale, which was why I did not believe her and told her to stop being irresponsible with her tongue.”
“Thank you for that, sister,” William said gratefully, “but I must confess. The root of the tale is true.”
“I beg your pardon?” Lizzie exclaimed.
“Emma and I were in the duke’s parlor, alone, when Lady Clara walked in. She seems to be under the impression that something had happened between us, but…”
“Nothing had. Brother, there is no need to feel guilty, as I see it in your face. You did nothing wrong, and neither you nor Emma must feel worried. You both know the truth of what happened.”
“But her reputation will be ruined because of a lie.”
A lie I just told, William admitted to himself.
“Brother, do not fret. I will ensure that nothing happens to Emma, nor her reputation. I vow this to you.”
William nodded gratefully and sat back against the velvet cushion of the coach, clenching his fingers into fists.
He was well aware that his sister did not have enough influence or power to stand by her vow, but he trusted her beyond a reasonable doubt.
After arriving at Woodlock Manor, he made his way to his chambers and stayed there for a short while. He paced around until finally, he could no longer take the agony and left.
He made his way to Emma’s bedchamber and knocked softly on the door. He heard shuffling inside but remained quiet. The door slowly opened and Emma stood in the doorway, dressed in a soft white night shift, her long red hair hanging loosely down her shoulders.
“My lord,” Emma whispered with a furrowed brow.
“May I speak with you for a moment?”
Emma sighed. “Do you think this is a good time?”
“As good a time as any. I must speak with you. Please,” he practically begged.
Emma pursed her lips for a moment and nodded. “Very well, but quickly.”
“Of course,” William whispered and entered her bedchamber.
Emma closed the door and turned to him. Her eyes were red, and there were tear-stains present on her cheeks as the light of the candle by her bedside illuminated her face.
“You’ve been crying,” he said as he approached her, but she fobbed him off.
“No matter. Why do you wish to speak to me at this hour, my lord?” Emma asked and crossed her arms.
“Lizzie informed me of the rumors that have already begun to circulate about the two of us,” he answered.
“No, those rumors are about me. They do not include you, and even if they had, it would not matter. When men do scandalous things, they are not gossiped about or torn to shreds by the very people whom they had considered friends. Your reputation was not harmed in the process. Mine was, and will be for a long while,” Emma answered, her tone bitter.
He hated seeing her like this. It was beyond the pale.
“Allow me to right this injustice.”
“I would rather not, William. It happened, and now I must take responsibility for my actions.”
“Our actions.”
He was not a fool. It took two, and he would not allow her to take the fall for a decision they made together.
Emma smiled, though it looked strained, and shook her head. “This is what I meant when I told you it is difficult enough being a woman, without being involved in a scandal. We are persecuted and called out as being promiscuous even if it is not true. But this is my burden to bear.”
“Emma, you could have easily told people that I had forced you into that position,” he offered. “You still can.”
“But it is not true,” she said simply and William’s chest tightened.
What man did he know who had this sort of integrity?
Truth above all else.
He couldn’t stand by and let her sacrifice herself. “It does not matter. I am willing to do that for you.”
Emma sighed. “While I admire your noble heart, I cannot allow you to lie and tarnish your reputation for the sake of saving mine. I cannot allow that. William… you mean too much to me.”
A lump formed in his throat and he swallowed hard. “Emma—”
“Please, leave me be for the night. I am tired,” she said, glancing at the carpet beneath their feet and opening the door for him.
He straightened his spine and nodded morosely.
What else could he do but respect her request?
He’d made enough of a mess for one night.
He bowed to Emma and quietly left her bedchamber, consumed by guilt. He’d now irreparably hurt the only woman he had ever truly cared for.
11
It had only been three days since Emma had returned to her parents’ townhouse in Somerset, a short journey from Woodlock Manor, however, she had never felt so lonely in her entire life. She’d made several attempts to call upon her group of ladies, whom she frequently spent time with at the tea house. But she had received no response from any of the ladies. Not one.
Clearly, the rumor of her and Lord William had circulated beyond her reach and now even her friends were too ashamed to be seen in her company.
It should not have bothered Emma, as early in her life she had made the decision to accept the repercussions of her actions. Her friends’ reaction to her, however, was upsetting.
Not that she blamed William. Not in the slightest.
She had told him that he was too important to her, and despite her desperate longing to hear him say those w
ords to her as well, she was now certain he did not reciprocate the feelings she had for him.
Emma had learned of William’s rakish reputation from her mother after she arrived back at her parents’ townhouse. And despite her mother urging her to never visit the duchess at Woodlock Manor again, Emma had ignored her.
She would simply keep to herself until things returned to normal. Rumors had a way of fading away after a while, as there was always some new scandal racing across the ton. Emma had simply never thought she would ever be a target.
Her maidservant quietly entered the parlor where Emma sat staring down at her book. Her thoughts still lingered, but she focused on the young woman as politely as she could.
“Your tea, my lady.”
“I did not request any tea,” Emma protested.
“Shall I take it away, my lady?” the maid stuttered.
Emma put out a hand to stop her. “No. I apologize for being rude. Thank you, Anna.”
The maid nodded and poured tea into a cup, placing it on a saucer and shifting it closer to Emma.
She smiled gratefully and shut the book she had in her hand, setting it on the small table beside the chaise. Emma reached for a spoon and relished in the quiet of the parlor. She was not certain where her mother and father were, but she did not mind being left alone at the townhouse.
Emma was becoming a recluse who chose to stay indoors and not have any guests, but it did not bother her in the least. Of course, her parents worried about their daughter’s behavior, not to mention how enraged her father was when he was made aware of the situation.
That was the main reason why the earl and countess did not wish for Emma to visit Woodlock Manor ever again. Emma refused to promise such a thing, stating Kitty still remained her friend regardless of the situation with Lord William. Naturally, her father urged her to be cautious while she was there.
Although Emma was not certain when she would visit the duchess again, her heart longed for William despite the fact she was terrified of her feelings for him. She only wished to protect his integrity and his name. He did not deserve to be persecuted in the manner she now was.
Emma slowly sipped her tea, the fragrant taste easing her tired mind and warming her chest. The beverage was sweet on her tongue and it reminded her of William’s lips against hers.
She silently scoffed and reminded herself that she needed to control her thoughts. Her feelings of desire for William had been the reason why she was in this situation in the first place. She sighed wearily and placed the cup and saucer on the table.
A loud knock sounded on the front door, then she heard the back and forth of voices, one of whom she immediately recognized. She rose to her feet, her heart pounding. It couldn’t be.
But it was.
William entered, followed by a rather exasperated and apologetic-looking Anna.
“My sincerest apologies, my lady. My lord insists on speaking with you.”
Emma raised her hand and said, “No need to apologize, Anna.”
“I was under strict instructions from Lord and Lady Montague to not allow Lord William into the residence—”
“And I will be certain to inform them that I had very good reason to enter,” William insisted.
“It is all right, Anna,” Emma answered. “I will inform my parents that it was my decision to permit Lord William inside. You will not be implicated or blamed in any way.”
Anna nodded quietly, and glanced briefly at William with suspicion before she disappeared out into the hallway.
“What are you doing here?” she asked as soon as they were alone.
“I must speak with you. It is quite urgent.”
“It always seems to be a matter of urgency with you,” Emma said and crossed her arms.
“Emma, the past three days have been difficult for me, and I assume they have of course been very difficult for you as well.”
“Difficult is not adequate enough to describe it, but in a manner of speaking… indeed,” Emma said.
“I wished to visit you sooner, but Lizzie and Kitty advised me not to. They said that you would still be angered by the situation,” William explained. “But that does not excuse the fact that I abandoned you.”
“You did not abandon me, my lord. I requested you leave me be,” Emma cleared her throat. “You were simply doing what I’d asked.”
And what a fool she’d been to do such a thing.
“I am aware, but what you asked is not what is best for you.”
“And what would you know of what is best for me?” Emma asked bitterly.
“Please, Emma. I am not here to argue with you, or upset you in any manner—”
“Tell me why you’re here,” Emma interjected, her heart twisting in her chest.
He was so handsome and he was being so thoughtful. She wasn’t sure her heart could take another rejection. Not of any sort.
“Emma, I understand what you are experiencing, or at least it was explained by my sister and my sister-in-law. I wish to make things right. Not only with regards to your reputation but also between you and me.”
Emma narrowed her eyes at him. “There is nothing wrong between us, William, so no need to make things right. We were intimate—twice—and that was all there was to it.”
“Emma,” William whispered and stepped towards her. “We both are well aware it was not all there was to it. We shared moments that still resonate in my mind. I am constantly reminded of them.”
“You don’t know what you speak of,” Emma sighed wearily and turned away.
“Marry me, Emma,” William proposed suddenly.
She froze and for a moment she was unable to move. With much effort, she turned back to William and pursed her lips. The most handsome and charming man she had ever met stood in front of her, saying he wished to marry her. Yet, the only emotion she felt inside was betrayal. It was very different from how she had imagined it would be. It felt both right and wrong simultaneously.
Her heart yearned to approach him, allow him to sweep her off her feet and into his strong and warm embrace. She wanted to whisper that she would love nothing more to marry him, but her mind had convinced her that his outburst was not because he loved her.
He was trying to make things right, which he never truly could. Her reputation was tainted whether she was to become William’s wife or not. Being the new Lady William Seymour would not stop women from glancing in her direction with judgment and disapproval.
In fact, nothing would.
“My lord, that is ridiculous.”
William’s eyebrows flew up his forehead, shock filling his face. “Marrying me is ridiculous?”
“You know I did not mean it in such a manner as to insult or belittle,” Emma explained. “I have dreamed of such a moment my entire life, and I would be delighted to accept if it was not for the sole reason to rectify a situation that we created by our behavior. I wish for a man to ask for my hand in marriage because he adores me and wishes to spend the rest of his life with me. Not out of guilt… or sympathy,” Emma answered.
“It is not out of sympathy, Emma. I care very much for you, and I am certain we can have a happy marriage,” he said, and he seemed sincere, which made Emma sadder. It seemed that behind his callousness and arrogance was a wonderful man.
She sighed heavily, undeterred. “Whilst I admire your noble intentions and the fact that you wish to save me from my situation, I do not require a man to rescue me. I am truly sorry, but I cannot accept your offer. It would simply not be fair that you to have to marry me, due to a situation we both caused.”
William stepped forward, his brow furrowing. “I am not being forced to marry you by anyone.”
“I am sorry, William. It would simply not feel right. There is a woman out there who is perfect for you, and I am certain that woman is not me,” Emma told him, though it broke her heart to say it.
“Is that not for me to decide as well?”
Emma groaned, frustration making her dig in her heel
s. “You cannot possibly say there are feelings of love inside your heart for me. We have not spoken about things—”
William interrupted her, “Only because you did not wish to, or we didn’t have the opportunity. But I’m here now, standing in front of you, asking for this chance. Even if we don’t know much of one another, I am certain we can come to an arrangement. We don’t even need to sleep in the same bedchamber.”
That made her smile.
She shook her head. “You and I are well aware that would not happen.”
The passion that burned between them, even now, was far too fierce.
“Emma—”
“My mind is made up and my decision is final, William. I cannot do you such an injustice.”
“The hell with injustice. I am merely doing what is right!” he yelled and glared at her, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation.
“Right for whom?” Emma exclaimed.
There were a few tense moments of silence as they stood scowling at one another.
When William began to chuckle, Emma huffed angrily, “What could possibly be funny?”
“It was rather ludicrous of me to even think we could be married. Look at us, we are still arguing and disagreeing regarding everything.” He continued to chuckle.
“Perhaps you should listen when I speak,” Emma answered and crossed her arms. “If that is all you wish to say, I suggest you leave before my parents return. They will not be as gracious regarding your presence as I was.”
“I do not doubt that for a moment, my lady,” he muttered wryly, and immediately left the parlor.
Emma heard the front door slam, which caused her to flinch and bite her bottom lip.
“My lady, is everything well? Lord William did not harm you in any manner?” Anna asked suddenly and Emma turned towards her. The young maid seemed very concerned, and she appreciated that.
“I am well, thank you, Anna,” Emma said, despite not feeling well at all in her heart. “Please, do not mention a word of his visit to my parents.”
“My lady—”