by Fiona Miers
“There is no need to prove your loyalty to Lizzie, we are already aware of it,” the duke interjected as he raised his hand.
“You are?”
“Indeed. You have been a devoted friend for as long as you have known her. You have defended her, consoled her, and kept her safe through it all,” James answered. “And for that, we cannot express how grateful we are to you.”
Carson nodded quietly and his jaw clenched. “I love her, so it is only natural. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t good enough for her, and it stopped me from admitting my feelings to her, but it didn’t stop me from being someone on whom she could depend.”
“You never have to feel that way ever again, Carson. You are family. You always have been and always will be,” Will stated as he approached Carson and embraced his friend.
“Thank you both,” Carson replied with gratitude. “Your words mean the world to me.”
“There is however, another matter we probably need to discuss,” James said.
“Anything I can do to assist?” Carson asked.
“What are your intentions toward our sister?”
“To love her, to marry her, and to make her as happy as she possibly can be,” Carson answered without even a moment’s hesitation. “I wish to spend every waking moment with her, and every other moment beside her. I will continue to protect her, defend her, and ensure that she is the best version of herself she possibly can be. I wish to build a home with her at Ferngrove and have a family that I am proud of. I wish to grow old with her and die lying in her arms.”
Will and James exchanged satisfied glances and the duke uttered, “Spoken like a true Royal.”
Carson frowned and he glanced at Will. “How long have you known?”
“A few years, but it doesn’t change a thing, let me assure you. You will always remain the man you are,” Will said with a shrug. “At least you will to me.”
“Does Lizzie know?” Carson asked.
“Perhaps you can speak to her when she is better, but I can already assure you it won’t matter to her,” Will answered, then said with a smirk. “Although I never imagined that one day she would outrank us.”
“Ranks and titles don’t mean a thing if you don’t behave accordingly, and you, Carson, deserve to carry that title with pride,” James said warmly. “And it would give me tremendous pride to have you as part of our family. Officially, of course.”
Carson smiled gratefully and lowered his gaze. “Thank you, but it is I who am honoured to have you both think so highly of me.”
After all these years of feeling sub-standard, it seemed like everything was coming full circle.
A few nights later, Carson finally felt her stir. His entire world seemed to stop spinning as her hand moved from under his and he glanced at her face.
“My dearest Lizzie. Can you hear me?” he whispered.
“Carson?” she mumbled and tiredly opened her eyes.
Carson shifted closer to her and a relieved smile formed on his lips. “I am here.”
“It is cold in here,” she mumbled. “Can you light the hearth?”
“Perhaps I can offer a better solution,” he suggested.
Carson slowly climbed in beside her in bed and held her close to him, as he had in the stables. Only this time, he was very careful how he was holding her. Her skin still burned under his touch, despite her words insisting she was cold. Her scalp was damp, causing small tendrils of her hair to stick against her hairline.
Her cheeks were still pale as he kissed her forehead and rested his head against the pillow.
“This is my fault. I should have taken you home when you told me to. I only wished to have you to myself for a while longer. If something were to happen to you, it would be the end of me,” he whispered, but Lizzie didn’t respond.
Carson glanced down and noticed she had fallen asleep once more, as she had been doing for a few days now. She slipped in and out of consciousness often, and when she did respond, her words slurred and were incoherent at times. Carson feared for the worst as her body became limp, but her laboured breathing indicated that she was still alive. And so did, of course, her heart beating steadily in her chest.
“It may not be Spring yet, my lady, but I will gladly marry you,” Carson whispered as he stroked her hand. “All I ask of you is to get better.”
As loud breath expelled from Lizzie’s lips and a quiet whisper filled the air. Simple words that carried the weight of Carson’s entire world.
Simple words that filled him with a lifetime of hope.
“For you, anything.”
19
After nearly a fortnight of being bedridden, her maidservants entering with cold rags to place upon her body, and many nightmares that plagued her fragile mind, Lizzie’s fever started to subside. Episodes of delirium had occurred quite often, and she only wished for it to end.
Luckily, it did.
Lizzie opened her eyes, uncertain of which day it was, and glanced at the beams of sunlight that broke through the small gaps in the two curtains. Her head still ached, and she recalled numerous instances where Emma and William had visited her, as well as James.
She had not recalled seeing Kitty, but if she had not visited, Lizzie would certainly not hold it against her. The duchess was heavy with child and she didn’t wish to spread her illness to the duchess and cause any harm to the unborn child.
She also recalled Carson being there most times and that he had held onto her hand, speaking in a low voice. His words had soothed her mind and soul, and in a manner, it had helped her through the worst of her illness.
Lizzie turned her head and a smile formed on her lips as she noticed Carson sitting beside her bed, peacefully asleep in the chair, his hand still over hers. She moved her hand slowly away, and his gripped hers tightly.
“Carson,” she whispered in a hoarse voice, her chest aching slightly from all the coughing. Her throat felt raw, so she swallowed hard, and spoke once more. “Carson?”
Carson’s eyes opened and as soon as their gazes met, he straightened up and leaned closer to her.
“Good morning,” she whispered, but her brow furrowed immediately after. “It is morning, is it not?”
“It is,” Carson answered with a smile. “How are you feeling?”
“As though I have slept for a lifetime,” Lizzie answered. “Has anything exciting happened?”
Carson chuckled and kissed the top of her hand. “Nothing at all.”
A short silence filled the bedchambers and Carson’s expression turned rather grim.
“What is the matter?” Lizzie asked.
“I am truly sorry that I didn’t listen to you, my lady.”
“What do you speak of?” Lizzie asked and shifted more towards Carson.
“You had told me that it was time to go before your brothers became worried, but I wanted you to stay with me longer. Because of that, I caused your illness,” Carson explained.
“Don’t be absurd. It was not your fault. Rain is not ideal for me to frolic around in even at the best of times. I have a weakness in my chest, caused by illnesses as a child.”
“But I should have been aware of that,” Carson sighed.
“Look at me,” Lizzie said with a hint of firmness in her tone and Carson glanced at her. “It is not your fault, and please do not blame yourself for this. You have done so much for me, and I do not possess the words to express how grateful I am for you.”
The corners of Carson’s lips finally lifted. “I love you very much, Lizzie.”
“And I love you, Carson. You are the only person whom I wish to have by my bedside, watching over me,” Lizzie said with the utmost sincerity.
“I would prefer to not see you in such an ill manner,” Carson said with a smile. “But there is no other place I would rather be.”
Lizzie squeezed his hand. “There is something I wish to show you if you would accompany me.”
“Accompany you? To where?”
“To the gard
en. There is something I wish to show you,” Lizzie muttered and sat upright.
“No, I cannot allow you to do that. You must rest.”
“Have I not rested enough?” Lizzie protested. “I have been in this bed for…”
“Over a fortnight,” Carson completed her sentence.
“Over a fortnight? Good gracious. It is most certainly time for me to breathe a breath of fresh air,” Lizzie exclaimed.
“My lady, you cannot.”
Lizzie threw the blanket off herself and glanced at Carson. “I feel fine, truly. But if it will make you feel any better, I shall wear a coat and a hood.”
“If your brothers were to find out that I allowed this to happen—”
“I will place all the responsibility upon myself. They are aware of how stubborn I am, and they will not give it a moment’s thought that you had anything to do with it,” Lizzie said.
Carson exhaled slowly and nodded. “Very well.”
Within a few minutes Lizzie was wrapped in a thick coat and made her way through the halls beside Carson, who seemed to watch her every move, her every breath, to ensure that she was not putting her health in jeopardy.
“Please stop fretting so much, Carson. I told you, I am fine,” Lizzie whispered as she lightly squeezed his hand.
They made their way down the stairwell and reached the terrace. There was not a soul in sight, which pleased Lizzie, as she knew that if either her brothers knew what she had planned, they would certainly send her back to bed.
“Lizzie, I truly do not understand why you wish to go to the garden at this particular moment,” Carson pointed out.
“You will understand soon,” Lizzie assured him and pointed to the spade resting against the wall. “Bring the spade along.”
“The spade?” Carson inquired with a furrowed brow.
She simply kept walking, and Carson grabbed the implement, following closely behind her.
Lizzie walked slowly to ensure that she didn’t tire herself out. She came to a stop a short distance from the hole in the wall and glanced at Carson. “Before I speak, need I remind you that I love you no matter what and that you have made my life perfect from the moment I met you.”
Carson’s brow furrowed once more and glanced at her quizzically. “Your words are both comforting and unsettling at the same time.”
Lizzie chuckled and shook her head, the hood of her cape shifting off her head. “I buried something here and I would like you to retrieve it for me.”
“It is not something that had been alive at one point, is it?” Carson cringed.
Lizzie chuckled once more, but her laughter soon caused her to cough and Carson shook his head.
“I insist that we go back inside,” he stated.
“Please, allow me to do this. I beg you. Then I promise, we can go back.”
“Very well. Where would you wish for me to dig?” Carson asked.
“Exactly there,” Lizzie pointed to a very specific area on the ground.
Carson hunched down and dug in the ground with the spade. As soon as he struck something hard in the ground, he dropped the spade beside him and dug with his hands. Lizzie knelt beside him and watched as he retrieved one of her favourite wooden boxes, flowers intricately engraved on the sides from the loose soil. He handed it to her, and she smiled at him.
“Why is this wooden box so important, my lady?” Carson asked.
“Please do not be angry with me, but do you recall the day I assisted you with sorting through your father’s things in the study?”
“I do.”
“I came across a few letters your mother wrote to your father, telling him how much she still loved him, and how she misses you all. She also asked your father if he would consider joining her in Aberystwyth. She said they belonged together, and she didn’t wish to be apart from you all any longer.”
Carson gaped at her. “You took my father’s letters?”
Lizzie swallowed the awkward lump in her throat but pushed forward, nonetheless. “I did and I am truly sorry. I was trying to protect you. You must believe me. I wanted to show you for a while now, but with everything that happened the past few months, I thought it would be too much for you to handle. It was never my intention to keep it from you, Carson but you were mourning the death of your father, and you didn’t need this on your plate as well.”
“Normally I would be upset if people spoke those words to me, if they assumed they had known what was in my best interest,” Carson stated.
Lizzie drew in a shallow and anxious breath. She didn’t wish for Carson to be in any way upset or feel resentful towards her as she had taken his mother’s letters to his father.
She nervously bit her bottom lip and waited for Carson to continue.
“But, my lady, you have known me for such a long time, and you know exactly who I am and what I need.”
“You are not upset with me?” Lizzie asked.
“How can I be upset with the one person who means the world to me, and who would do anything in her power to protect me?” Carson asked with a tender smile.
Relief flowed over Lizzie like a cleansing rain. “I love you very much, Carson.”
“And I love you, Lizzie,” Carson whispered sincerely. “There is something I must share with you as well. You must be wondering what my mother is doing in Aberystwyth.”
Lizzie inhaled sharply and told the truth. “No. I already know.”
“You know? Of everything?” Carson asked, his eyebrows flying up on his forehead.
She nodded. “I do, and I have known for a while.”
“And you didn’t say anything?”
Lizzie shrugged. “It didn’t matter to me. I fell in love with your heart, your mind and the person who you are, not because you are the son of a princess. I love you because of who you are in here,” Lizzie declared and placed her hand against his heart. “I have fallen in love with you so deeply, so intensely, and so perfectly. I simply wished we had realized this sooner.”
“I must admit that I have loved you since the very first time I saw you.”
Lizzie couldn’t help but smile at that. “You were five years old, Carson.”
Carson grinned. “The heart wants what it wants, whether you are five or fifty.”
“You are such a silly man, and I love that about you,” Lizzie smiled. “Why did you wait so long to tell me of your feelings?”
“I was terrified you would reject me.”
Lizzie couldn’t believe it! “Why would I reject you?”
“I thought you deserved better than me,” Carson admitted. “The only problem was that the love I had for you burned through even the rainiest night, even though I tried to extinguish it many times. I simply thought that you would never love a simple man such as I.”
Simple? She’d never thought of him that way. “There is no one better for me than you, Carson.”
“That I know now.”
“And I will keep on reminding you of that until our last breaths,” Lizzie whispered and pressed her palm against Carson’s cheek.
Carson leaned forward and kissed her sweetly on the lips.
“Did you mean what you said to me? About wishing to marry me as long as I promised to get better?” Lizzie whispered against his lips.
“I did. I love you, and I wish to spend the rest of my life beside you. I would marry you in a heartbeat,” Carson answered and brushed a strand of hair from her face.
“Perhaps we should stick to our originally discussed plan.”
“Springtime it is.” Carson smiled and kissed her sweet lips once more.
Her heart beat steadily in her chest, easing away the painful stabbing aches inside her.
“Carson! Lizzie!”
Their kiss was interrupted by desperate exclamations sounding from the manor.
“Did I not say your brother is going to be rather dissatisfied that I allowed you outside in your state?”
“I am not in a state,” Lizzie rolled her eyes. “And if yo
u listened closely, that is not my brother’s angry exclamation. Something has him in a panic.”
“What could it be?”
Lizzie and Carson turned as they heard the terrace doors fly open and Will stepped into the sunlight. “Carson! Lizzie! There you are!
“What is the matter, William?”
“Come quickly!” Will called out to them. “The duchess has gone into labour.”
Lizzie and Carson glanced at one another and excitement filled both their faces.
“Come along, my dear,” Carson reached out his hand to Lizzie, and she placed her hand in his without a moment’s hesitation.
Epilogue
Four Years Later
Lizzie, known now as Mrs. Wallace, glanced down at her beloved baby daughter, who had celebrated her first birthday a week ago, and a smile formed on her lips. The young child was wrapped in a muslin blanket, light brown locks escaping from underneath a bonnet, and her light green eyes shining up at Lizzie. Eyes that resembled Carson’s perfectly.
“Are you ready, my dearest Rebecca?” Lizzie asked her daughter and the young child giggled happily. “Come along then. Your father is downstairs. Let us not keep him waiting any longer.”
Lizzie scooped her daughter up in her arms and held her close. She left the nursery and made her way down the stairwell. The bouquets of roses in the vases that were strategically placed around the foot of the stairwell filled the manor with a decadent and welcoming aroma that Lizzie adored.
For the past five years, she had been the happiest she’d ever been in her entire life. She had married Carson in the Spring, as they had arranged on that night in the stable at Lord and Lady Wealing’s estate.
She had married her best friend, the man who understood her better than she even understood herself. She had vowed to love Carson until the day she let out her very last breath, although she didn’t require vows to know that would be true. They were joined in matrimony in the gardens of Ferngrove Manor, under the clear blue skies and lush green grass, with only a handful of guests. Only those people who truly shared in their happiness.