But she had the jets and her imagination.
She spread her legs wide, bracing her feet against the side of the tub, and positioned herself so one of the jets hit just the right spot. She pulled her nether lips apart and adjusted her hips until the needle-tight, pulsing spray of warm water caressed the folds of her sex. She turned up the jets and slipped a finger deep inside her. Letting the water stroke her aroused clit, she thrust her finger in and out. Her orgasm built inside her, compounded by the water assaulting her clit and her finger creating its own brand of sexual pleasure. She imagined Zach’s big hands on her body, running up her sides, cupping her breasts, tweaking the nipples, finally sliding between her legs. He’d part her thighs and plunge two fingers to the knuckles inside her, moving them in and out in a rhythm. Then he’d replace those fingers with his large body. His penis would slide inside her, filling her, his sweaty, hot body rubbing against hers.
Oh, mercy. Saints in heaven, save me from this man.
Kelsie pumped her fingers harder. Harder. Harder. She came in a rush, crying out into the large, empty bathroom. “Zach. Oh, Zach. Yes. Yes. Yes.”
She closed her eyes and let her orgasm carry her away until her slamming heart slowed in her chest and the blood stopped pounding in her ears. Far off in the distance, she heard a noise, like heavy footsteps. She blinked several times, trying to process her thoughts. A sound much like a man’s gasp penetrated the haze. She craned her neck toward the door.
“I forgot my wallet.” Zach stood a few feet away, staring down at her. His brown eyes dilated, and his nostrils flared. He looked every bit the wild, untamed male ready to claim his mate.
And she felt every bit like the female wanting to be claimed.
~ ~ ~ ~
Zach couldn’t move, not even to blink.
Kelsie started to scramble out of the tub, must have realized he’d see her in all her naked glory, then sank back into the water. Oh, God, he should’ve kept walking when he’d peeked in the bathroom to see what all the groaning and splashing was about.
He’d almost expected to see her getting it on with one of his teammates, maybe a rookie with a big contract. Instead, he’d caught her getting it on with his jetted tub.
He couldn’t leave. Not now. He’d die first, and his randy body would never forgive him. Despite every warning bell jangling in his head, his body ruled this moment. She looked so hot and sexy in his tub, her eyes half-lidded from coming. Soap suds concealed part of her body but not those perfect nipples he’d dreamed about from adolescence to adulthood. He had to sample her. Just this once. He had to know if the fantasy came anywhere close to the reality, had to touch the creamy skin, had to sink his hands under the water and find her sweet spots.
She started to lift her body out of the tub. He put a restraining hand on her shoulder. The hot, wet contact traveled through his fingers, up his arm, and straight into his bloodstream, immediately disengaging his brain and engaging other parts. “Don’t move. You look like a woman who could use a man’s touch instead of her own.” His voice sounded foreign to his own ears, deep and gravelly and barely in control.
Zach hesitated briefly, giving her a moment to protest. She didn’t. He shucked out of his jeans, briefs, and T-shirt in record time. Kelsie swallowed and licked her lips, her eyes on his erection.
He sank to his knees next to the tub. She met him halfway. Her warm, plump lips welcomed his. The next thing he knew, she thrust her tongue into his mouth, taking the lead. He let her have it. Gladly. She sucked his tongue into her mouth, circled it with her own, breathed life into him like no woman ever had. Her soapy breasts rubbed against his hairy chest. A groan ripped from his throat as she kissed him with reckless enthusiasm.
Out of breath, she pulled back, a smile on her face and a wicked twinkle in those blue eyes. “There’s room for two in here.”
“Oh, yeah.” He grinned and started to get into the tub. She splayed a hand across his chest to halt him.
“Condom?”
“Oh. Yeah. Condom.” She wanted him to get a condom? That meant they were doing it. Really doing it. He scrambled to his feet and ripped open drawers in the bathroom vanity. Stuff went flying as he frantically looked for a condom. Crap. Where the hell was one? It wasn’t like he brought women here or even had women during the season.
Damn. Damn. Damn.
Faster than he hustled onto a football field, he hustled into the bedroom and rummaged through drawers, desperate to find one condom. Nothing. He ran down the stairs, taking them three at a time, out to his truck. Checked the glove box. There had to be one somewhere.
Only there wasn’t. Not one. Not a damn one.
His dick shriveled in disappointment.
He trudged back upstairs, back to the bathroom. Kelsie was out of the tub and in his bathrobe, staring at him with shuttered eyes. He’d taken too long. His shoulders slumped, and he leaned against the doorjamb, attempting to look casual.
“I thought you’d changed your mind.” She shot him a tentative smile as she pulled on a pair of very small panties. Her gaze flicked to his dick, and it immediately rose to attention.
“I couldn’t find a damn condom.” Frustration seeped into his voice. He couldn’t help it.
She shrugged and stared at the floor. “Call it divine intervention. So not a good idea. You and me, that is.”
Hell, he’d known that, but he hadn’t cared when he’d seen her masturbating in his tub. The blood returned to his brain as it escaped his dick, like troops retreating from a losing battle.
Without a word, he quickly pulled on his clothes and left the house for the second time this morning, before they both changed their minds and decided to go with unprotected sex.
Someone up there was looking out for him.
Damn it.
Chapter 9—Blitzed
A few nights later, Zach stood in his backyard and cradled the urn he’d carried around with him for sixteen years. He ran a hand across his eyes to wipe off a combination of rain and tears. He swallowed around the big lump in his throat and carefully placed his baby brother’s ashes in the small hole he’d dug.
Wade, his younger brother by two years, stood next to him and hiccupped, drawing his sleeve across his face. Zach bowed his head and slid a glance at Wade. His brother’s brows scrunched together, then he bent his own dark head.
Clasping his hands in front of him, Zach pushed the words past the boulder-sized lump in his throat. “I don’t know if you’re really out there, God, but I hope you are. I hope life doesn’t end after we die because our little brother deserves a better life than the short one he got on earth.”
“Amen.” Wade’s voice cracked from the pain of their shared loss.
“Amen.” Zach raised his head and picked up the shovel. Grief shot sharp arrows of agony through his heart. He tossed the first shovel full of dirt into the hole. Wade took the shovel from him and followed his lead. The only sound was the thud, thud, thud of the dirt landing in the hole and the patter of raindrops on the ground.
Dropping the shovel, Zach raised his face to the skies. Big drops of rain pelted his forehead, ran down his cheeks, into his eyes, plastering his hair to his head. He didn’t care. Not one bit. Neither did Wade. Their clothes stuck to them like they’d fallen overboard on stormy seas. In some ways, they had.
Zach picked up a cool marble slab the size of a coffee-table book. Kneeling down, he placed it on top of the exposed earth. He ran a finger over the indentations on the marble, squinting in the light of dusk to read aloud the words he’d committed to heart.
Gary Joseph Murphy
Beloved brother and best friend
Finally home at last
Rest in peace
As he looked skyward again, the rain mixed with his tears. “I promised you a big Victorian home with a view one day, little brother. I hope you like it.” His last couple of words hung in the air with no other sound than the patter of steady rainfall.
Finally, Wade cleared his throat
. “He loves it.” His brother pushed at loose dirt with his toe and shoved his hands in the pockets of his raincoat.
The rain stopped as if the hand of God moved across the skies. A few rays of the setting sun poked through the clouds, spreading diamonds of light across the waters of Puget Sound below. A ferry chugged toward Elliot Bay, delivering residents to downtown Seattle. Large fir trees stood on guard around the yard as a slight breeze rustled their limbs. The stately old mansion embraced them like a grandmother welcoming her grandchild home from war.
It was the type of view Gary had dreamed of having one day.
Zach’s mind transported him back to the trailers they’d lived in, the cars, the back alleys. His family had never lived anywhere more than a few months before their dad started drinking again and lost whatever current job he’d managed to finagle. Then they’d be booted out on their asses and sent on their way. Each place was worse than the one before it or not a place at all but a car or a tent.
Until that night.
That fateful night exactly seventeen years ago to the day was burned into Zach’s memory like a wildfire ravaging the landscape of the forest, leaving ugly black scars. Wade and Zach were big enough; their father couldn’t overpower them anymore. Not so for Gary, who’d always been sicklier and slighter than his older brothers, and they’d become his protectors.
It’d been a scorching Texas night in October.
That weekend their stepfather, and Gary’s actual father, had been languishing in jail again. Zach didn’t even remember for what. Their mother was having an affair with a bottle and had passed out on the living room couch. Life as normal in the Murphy household.
Wade’s hockey coach had invited him to an NHL game.
Two weeks prior, Kelsie had shocked the hell out of him and asked him to escort her to a gala at the country club. He’d worked his ass off doing odd jobs to earn enough money for a decent suit. He’d studied proper etiquette so he’d know which fork to use when. He’d gotten his hair cut. He wanted so badly to fit in and impress Kelsie and her friends.
Life was good.
Then it wasn’t.
Usually, Wade or Zach always stayed home to protect Gary if their stepfather was around, but they’d been told he most likely wouldn’t be released until Monday.
Wade wanted to go to the game in the worst way. The coach had arranged for him to meet his favorite player on the visiting team. It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
With a heavy heart, Zach called Kelsie to let her know he couldn’t attend. She wasn’t happy. In fact, she was livid at being stood up. He took a chance she’d understand and told her the real reason he was canceling. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. Insisting he meet her at the country club at seven, she had hung up on him.
Gary had heard the phone conversation with Kelsie.
“Zach, you have to go. This is your big shot with her. I’ll be fine. If Dad was getting out today, he’d be home by now. Please, I’ll never forgive myself if you don’t go. This is meant to be. She’s the woman of your dreams. Don’t give that up for me.” Gary had always been a bit of a hopeless romantic, even at a young age.
“But I can’t leave you here,” Zach hedged.
“I’ll go next door until you get back.”
Their neighbors next door were a kind, elderly couple, who treated the boys like grandchildren.
“I’ll be okay,” Gary insisted. “Go, please go.”
Zach nodded and finished getting ready. An hour later, he hugged his brother and ran out the door to his destiny.
What seemed now like a lifetime after that, Zach had driven his POS car home, tail between his legs, defeated and broken, humiliated beyond belief.
A block from his house, flashing lights had illuminated the usually dreary neighborhood. A crowd gathered on the pothole-filled street to gape at the house with yellow crime-scene tape wrapped around it. The very shack his dysfunctional family called home.
Wade stood alone near the crime-scene tape. When he caught sight of his big brother, he threw his arms around Zach and sobbed a few coherent words. “He did it.”
“Did what?” Even then, he knew the worst had happened.
“Shot Mom and beat Gary with a baseball bat.” The anguish in Wade’s voice almost destroyed Zach, but he had to be strong for Wade and Gary.
“Where’s Gary?”
“They just rushed him to the hospital. If I’d only been home a half hour earlier—”
“Don’t blame yourself.” Zach knew who was to blame. He was. He was the oldest. He should’ve stayed home.
The Cactus Prairie police had already hauled their father off to jail. Zach swore if he ever set eyes on that man again, he’d kill him.
A few minutes later, Zach and Wade paced in the waiting room. They didn’t wait long. The doctor told them to go in and see their brother. There was nothing more he could do.
At the sound of the door opening, their brother squinted through his swollen eyes and smiled. He barely looked like the Gary Zach knew and loved.
“Love you guys,” Gary said, his voice barely a whisper.
“We love you, too, bro,” Zach answered for both of them, as Wade was too choked up to speak.
“How was the date?”
“It was great,” Zach lied, but Gary seemed to believe him.
“I’m not afraid to die.”
“You’re not going to die,” Zach insisted, and Wade nodded, swallowing hard and wiping tears from his eyes. Zach managed to hold it together, but to this day, he didn’t know how.
“I am. I know.” Gary’s voice was weaker, fading more with each word. “Win a ring for me, Zee.” He reached for Zach’s hand and Wade’s, holding both their hands. His hand was cold yet strangely strong.
Zach nodded. “I will. I promise.” A promise he hadn’t been able to keep…yet.
Gary turned his head slowly toward Wade, wincing at the pain caused by the movement. “And the Cup.”
“Yeah.” Wade nodded and squeezed his brother’s hand. As if satisfied, Gary closed his eyes. He never spoke again. The internal damage was too great. Surrounded by tubes and machines, Gary died that night at 11:59 p.m.
If only Zach had stayed home. He’d been a lovesick fool. She’d played him, and he’d paid the worst price possible for being gullible. He should’ve known someone like her would never be interested in him. He vowed that very night to make it to the pros and show all of them he could be whatever he wanted to be and do it his way. He’d make Gary proud.
At fifteen, Wade was sent to a great-aunt’s in Ontario. Zach’s coach took him in, not out of any burning desire to help him, but because his senior year of football was underway and the team needed him.
Kelsie and her group had never known the pain they’d caused him since Zach didn’t have the same last name as his brother and stepfather. No one put it together, and Zach had no intention of telling them. He’d channeled his pain into determination to be someone someday. He’d vowed to never put people on a pedestal again because of the money they had or the clothes they wore. He’d channeled the love he’d felt for Kelsie into hate because it was the only way he could save himself. That hate had fueled him during those first tough months in college. Later, he’d pushed it aside, tried to let it go, but he’d never forgotten the lesson they’d taught him. A pretty package on the outside often hides the ugliest inside. He’d be his own man. Live by his own rules. And so he had, until he’d signed with the Steelheads and set in motion this latest course of events.
He would’ve slept with her if he’d had a condom. He was filled with self-loathing just thinking about how weak he was when it came to her.
Zach turned away from the view of Puget Sound and glanced up at the bathroom window, recalling Kelsie’s soapy wet skin in his bathtub and hating himself for wanting her. She’d been his weakness then, and in some ways, she still was. Only he wasn’t in love with her this time around. He only wanted her body.
Only a fool would sti
ll love a woman after she’d ripped his heart out and been the catalyst for the death of his brother. He’d never forgiven her. How could he forgive that depth of cruelty? How did he forgive himself for the tragic choice he’d made? The most traumatic event in his teenage life was linked to Kelsie, as if she were his bad luck charm or something.
Damn, he’d almost slept with her a few mornings ago. He’d known from the moment he’d first spotted her in his freshman homeroom class that if he ever did it with her, there’d be no turning back. His heart would be lost to her forever.
All these years later, that bald fact still echoed the raw truth. He could not sleep with Kelsie. He’d never recover. She’d use him and leave him in her wake as she jetted off after a better catch.
Kelsie had to be down on her luck, living in some dump so bad she didn’t want to go home to at night. Why else had she been in his bathtub? Why did she avoid telling him where she lived? Maybe she was living in a homeless shelter. Zach shook his head, finding it hard to believe her life had sunk that low. Not Kelsie. She’d find some way to manipulate some poor fool into parting with his money just for the pleasure of gazing on her beauty every day.
Some poor fool like him.
“Hey,” Wade spoke softly.
Zach gave a guilty start and blinked rapidly. He’d forgotten his brother was even there. “I have to be getting back to the airport. I’ve got a game tomorrow.” Wade played damn good hockey on an NHL team that was currently a Stanley Cup contender.
“I’ll drive you.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. I’ll get a taxi.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.” To prove his point, Wade whipped out his phone and used an app to get a ride. Sticking it back in his pocket, he turned to Zach. “How about a quick beer before I go?”
“Yeah, sure.” They walked inside. Zach snagged a couple brews from the fridge, popped the tops, and handed one to his brother, the only person left on this earth that he cared about other than his teammates.
Offsides: The Originals (Seattle Steelheads Book 3) Page 10