“And if I stay?”
“I’ll spend as much time as possible below stairs. Every day.”
Ralph’s eyes narrowed at his mother, who by now was looking at him with the most angelic expression on her face; he could have laughed had he not been frustrated. “You do realise you’re blackmailing me?”
“I’d like to think of it as more of a deal for the good of us both.”
“I never had you down as a managing mother.”
“And I never had you down as a suffocating son.”
“A suffocating son?” Ralph asked in disbelief.
Lady Pensby laughed. “I thought that would get your attention. My dear, the more time you spend here, the higher my anxiety increases. It’s not good for you to be stuck in a sick room all the time. It isn’t the place for a boy.”
“You might have noticed I left my boyhood behind some time ago,” Ralph said drily.
“More’s the pity.”
“I’ll go to London, but just for one day. I’ll attend the Longdon’s ball and then return the day after. How does that sound?” Ralph compromised.
“A lot of disruption for one evening,” Lady Pensby said. “I’ll settle for a week in London.”
“I’m sure you would, but I won’t. I shall see how I feel after the evening at Longdon’s. I might be galloping back to you if it’s tedious,” Ralph said.
“I hope not. I want you stay for a month, enjoying yourself.”
“When I’m away from here, I can’t enjoy myself fully,” Ralph admitted.
“If that is because you love your home, I applaud you. If it’s because of me, I shall box your ears for being foolish,” Lady Pensby responded.
Ralph laughed. “Can’t it be a bit of both?”
Lady Pensby looked unconvinced.
Chapter 11
Edith saw the letter the moment she entered her bedchamber. There had been no mention of anything arriving by any of the staff, which as Lady Longdon seemed to be everywhere Edith was while the preparations were being undertaken, was a relief as discretion was vital.
She eagerly broke the seal and spread the folded paper. She hadn’t been sure he would write back and was so unaccountably glad he had.
Dear Miss S,
You replied to me, which is probably more than I deserve. Thank you for your kind words. I don’t want to give you the false impression that I’m some sort of milksop, I’m certainly not, but I have reached a point where I don’t know what to do for the best.
Are you ever torn? How do you know you have made the right decision? I’m not sure about any of my decisions recently.
I’ve been instructed to have some fun by the one I’m so worried about. I’m hardly in the mood for frivolity, but I shall do as I’m bid, for I don’t wish to cause any further distress. You have no fear of hearing of my exploits in the morning post, although it would be amusing to cause a stir instead of keeping myself very much in the background.
I hope you are enjoying the season. Are you inundated with letters from your advertisement? I’m quite jealous of the men who can speak with flowery words and flatter a young lady until she is besotted. I’d more than likely receive a scold if I tried to flirt with anyone. Better not to try than to cause offence, don’t you think?
You, Miss S, are a beacon of light, I hope you appreciate that you are very special.
Yours
Mr S
Edith read and reread the letter. It was a such a complex document to read, she could hardly make anything of it. He didn’t wish to flirt, yet some of his words were certainly flirtatious.
He was obviously a complicated man and she was very much drawn to him. She shouldn’t be, but there was something in his words which touched her deeply. She wished she could meet him to reassure that whatever his sufferings, he was not alone.
Placing the letter in the one locked drawer she had, she turned away reluctantly. She wanted nothing but to sit and write back immediately, but there were things to do. The ball was happening the very next day and her mother was becoming more demanding.
Grudgingly, she changed from a practical cotton gown she’d been wearing while sorting out the flowers, into a more respectable morning gown, ready for the visitors who would be calling.
Walking down the stairs, she heard voices in the morning room and hurried to meet the first callers. She hadn’t expected anyone to arrive so early and knew that Lady Longdon was still above stairs.
Entering the large square room, Edith faltered slightly before smiling widely and entering with her arms outstretched in greeting.
“My lord! How good it is to see you! Does this mean you are to join us tomorrow evening?” Edith asked, reaching Ralph and her brother who were standing before the fireplace, chatting amiably.
Ralph reached out automatically before realising the impropriety of greeting Edith in such a familiar way. It would be an insult to her if he were to withdraw his own hands, which were now clasping hers. “Lady Edith, it’s a pleasure to see you. Yes, I am attending. Miles tells me it is to be the highlight of the season.”
By bringing Miles into the conversation, Ralph was able to step back, therefore releasing Edith’s hands to include the three of them. He’d noticed the look of curiosity which Miles had sent in his direction but brazened it out.
“Mama would have it so, but I don’t think we can compete with the balls held by the likes of the Duke of Richmond. Now they are the highlights of the season,” Edith said easily. “You’ve been away for a while and you are looking pale, my lord. You’re not ailing for something are you? We wouldn’t wish to force you into spending time with us when you should be resting.”
For the first time in his life, Ralph blushed a little. “Thank you for your concern, but I’m fine. Truly.”
“That’s good to know,” Edith said. “There have been some rides out in which your horsemanship was missed.”
“Your brother didn’t come up to scratch?” Ralph asked.
“Do you really need to ask that?”
“I’ll have you know, my counsel has only recently been sought about buying the best horseflesh,” Miles interjected.
“I’m afraid it’s true. Mr Malone knows my brother of old and insisted on him accompanying him to Tattersall’s.”
“Malone? Do I know him?” Ralph asked.
“No. We served together. He has an uncle who purchased his commission. He remained abroad after the defeat of Napoleon with his friend, a Charles Sage, although he didn’t serve. I don’t quite know what he did to be honest. They’re both now fully enjoying the season,” Miles answered.
“Ah. I see,” Ralph said a tad stiffly.
“Would you like me to ring for some refreshments? I hope you will stay a while,” Edith said.
“I’m going to save Ralph from being cornered by some of mother’s cronies and retire to the study. I’m sure you can deal with them admirably, Edith!” Miles smiled.
“Oh.”
“Your brother is a brute, Lady Edith. Could I compensate for his atrocious mistreatment of you by securing the first two dances tomorrow?” Ralph asked, compelled to act once he had witnessed Edith’s face drop when hearing they were to leave her.
“I’m already taken for the first two, but I’d be delighted to dance the next two with you,” Edith said quickly.
“Of course, it will be my pleasure,” Ralph said bowing.
The two gentlemen left Edith to await Lady Longdon and her friends and entered into the masculine sanctuary which was Miles’ study. After pouring them both a glass of brandy, Miles smiled. “This is better than copious amounts of tea out of cups which make one feel the giant, they are so tiny. Added to that the delicate cakes which I could eat about a dozen of on my own, Edith is welcome to morning visits.”
“You have absolutely no compunction about leaving your sister to deal with everything you find irksome, do you?”
“None at all. And I’ll do exactly the same when I get a wife,” Miles grinned. “T
here have to be some advantages to having a sister, or to being leg-shackled.”
“You’re incorrigible. You really are.” Ralph shook his head, grinning. “Which out and outer has beaten me to the first two dances with your sister?”
“You couldn’t consider him a top of the tree but he certainly has the looks and address that has endeared him to most of the females within ten miles of here,” Miles said, swirling his remaining drink.
“Ah, so Lady Edith has a beau, without the need for the letters,” Ralph said.
“He’s certainly interested in her. A blind man could see his preference, but as for her feelings on the matter. I honestly don’t know,” Miles admitted.
“Has he spoken to you?”
“No. Which makes me wonder if she’s let him know that she isn’t interested. If that’s the case though, he must be trying to change her mind,” Miles said. “He’s very attentive and there are dozens of other ladies who would welcome such a marked preference from him.”
“Yes, but do they have everything your sister has? Beauty, charm and money. It’s a heady combination.”
Miles looked at his friend as if undecided as what to say. “Edith would be the first to say that she wasn’t beautiful. Is there something you should be telling me? Or even asking me?”
“What? No! She’d likely murder me in a se’nnight,” Ralph blustered.
“As you wish,” Miles said, offering Ralph another drink. He didn’t fail to notice the gulp of liquid Ralph took once his glass was refilled.
*
Ralph eyed the letter with disgust. He’d returned from Curzon Street to his own lodgings almost storming along the streets. She was encouraging another while writing to him. He’d never felt jealousy in his life and he didn’t know what to do with the rage burning in his gut.
Walking up and down his drawing room offered no relief while the letter mocked him from the silver platter containing his post.
Eventually, he tore at the seal, ripping the corner of the page in his anger. The damage was enough to calm him instantly. “She owes me nothing,” he muttered to himself before starting to read.
Dear Mr S,
I understand you completely when you say you are torn! I would love to be in the countryside right now. Spending my days out of doors as much as possible. Instead I am confined to the drawing rooms across London and I’m so bored I could scream.
Thankfully, I have a brother who indulges me with long horse rides which affords a little escape. Unfortunately, it is not enough. I will the season to be at an end and then I can truly plan for my future. An occurrence in which I will be able to plan my own destiny. Not easy when I have a mother who is desperate for me to marry anyone who asks. I know things would be different if my father were here, but he isn’t, so there is no point longing to speak to him. Wishing for the impossible achieves nothing.
Sending in the advertisement has been productive in two ways. It has helped me to see what I really want, something I wasn’t sure of before. Secondly, it’s introduced me to you. My mysterious friend, who offers me an outlet for my deepest feelings. I hope I offer you the same – a safe place to speak your mind. I’ve told you more than I should. Perhaps, even now you know who I am. I had to explain myself fully to show you I understand some of your worries and troubles. I hope it helps.
One last point I wish to raise. You claim that you aren’t one for flowery speeches, but your words are dear to me.
Your friend
Miss S
Ralph sat back. He’d been riddled with jealousy, but her words had soothed him. He was a cad for taking advantage of her, knowing who she was meant her words gave him an insight he wouldn’t have normally, but he was adrift and she was his anchor. Even if she didn’t realise it.
He would reveal himself to her. Just not quite yet.
Chapter 12
Edith had commissioned a new dress. It was frivolous and shallow but she wanted to look her best. She had hoped he would attend and now she would spend an hour or more in his company. She had missed him.
Opening the drawer, she took out the last letter she’d received from her mystery writer. “Why can’t you be one and the same?” she whispered to the ink on the page. Sighing, she placed the letter back in its secure home and hid the key. Catching her reflection in the looking glass she grimaced.
“There’s no point wishing for the impossible. One is handsome, rich, abrupt in manner, yet I’m drawn to him. The other could be poor, ugly, but has a way with words and a vulnerability which tugs at my heart. I’ve just got to enjoy my time with Lord Pensby tonight, for I don’t know when I’ll see him again.”
Leaving her bedchamber, she met her mother at the top of the staircase.
“You are looking charming tonight, Edith. I expect there will be at least one proposal by tomorrow if what I hope will happen comes to fruition,” Lady Longdon said with a nod of approval at her daughter’s attire.
Edith sagged a little at her mother’s words. One thing which had become clear in the preceding days was that Lady Longdon favoured Mr Sage and Edith did not.
Miles was waiting at the bottom of the stairs and after making a fuss of his mother, he twirled Edith around. “You are looking delightful, Edith. That colour really suits you.”
Edith had chosen a pale blue silk gown, with puff sleeves and delicate white lacing along the edges. The bottom of the skirt was decorated with white and blue ribbon gathered in scalloped edges. The skirt billowed out slightly as she spun, a lovely effect to occur when one was dancing. She had agreed to wear an aquamarine and diamond necklace from the family jewels. The whole effect brought out the faint blue hue in her otherwise grey eyes.
Not one to wear powders and beauty patches as her mother and others of the older generation were inclined to do, Edith just wore black on her lashes and red lip colour. Her flush of anticipation gave her cheeks a heightened colour and sparkling eyes, which added to her overall good looks.
“I hope tonight is a success,” Lady Longdon said, before the doors were opened to welcome the first guests.
“Of course it will be, Mother,” Miles responded easily. “Our parties are known to offer each guest as much food and drink as they could possibly wish for. What else does one need to guarantee a good night?”
Edith laughed. “You are a rascal, Miles.”
“But lovely with it,” Miles answered before turning to greet his guests.
*
It was the second dance before Mr Sage started to hint once more of what he wished to happen. He was not put off by Edith’s gentle redirecting of his unsubtle words. Eventually, he seemed to give up all pretence of subtlety and suggestion.
“Lady Edith, please allow me to speak to your brother,” Mr Sage said as they stood at the bottom of the set.
“I’d rather you didn’t,” Edith responded, flushing.
“But I thought…” Mr Sage ground his teeth. “The words we have shared about our inner feelings. I thought we understood each other more so than most people who are acquainted. I know I shouldn’t presume, but when I’ve confessed my inner turmoil, I thought you understood.”
Edith faltered. “Your inner turmoil?”
“Yes, I’ve shared things with you that I haven’t told another soul. I thought we had a connection beyond that of mere acquaintances,” Mr Sage continued.
Wiping her hand across her brow, Edith frowned. “Do you mean – is it you?”
“Is who me?”
“I’m very confused how you found out it was I,” Edith continued, her emotions agitated.
“It was easy to find the one I was drawn to more than anyone else in my past, present or future,” Mr Sage said. “I do think it’s time I spoke to your brother and made our feelings official.”
“I’m sorry, Mr Sage. I feel a little unwell. Please don’t say anything to Miles just yet. I need to think,” Edith said, faltering a little.
“Of course, Lady Edith. Allow me to escort you to a seat. Shall I bring
you some negus?” Mr Sage offered.
“Yes, please. That would be kind. Thank you,” Edith answered, feeling quite lightheaded.
As she sat, Susan approached her friend. “Edith, are you ill? I saw you leave the dance and immediately withdrew myself. Mr Malone has gone to seek out Mr Sage.”
“Oh, Susan! I’ve had it all wrong!” Edith wailed. “I wanted it to be Lord Pensby, but it isn’t, it’s Mr Sage!”
Susan immediately sat down next to Edith. “The letters? Are you sure?”
“He all but admitted it just then. He wants to speak to Miles and even though he’s the one who wrote the letters, I can’t, Susan, I can’t marry him!”
“Edith, shh. Gather yourself. Someone will notice something is amiss,” Susan chided gently.
“I’m sorry. My head is in such a swirl. How can I have made such a mistake? I thought the man who wrote the letters knew me, but for it to be him – no!”
“You liked the man who wrote the letters, Edith. Perhaps you aren’t seeing Mr Sage for who he truly is?”
“Surely, surely, there can’t be such a difference between what he writes and how he is. He’s flighty and a rascal, I’m sure of it,” Edith whispered, as she saw the return of the two gentlemen, both carrying glasses.
“Ladies, we brought double supplies,” Mr Malone said handing both a glass. “It’s a real crush everywhere, so we thought it prudent to bring more than one glass, as you might need more.”
“That’s very kind of you,” Susan replied. “I’m sure Lady Edith will feel more the thing soon.”
“The dance is ending,” Edith said. “Please don’t let me detain you from your next partners.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Mr Sage said, showing no inclination to leave Edith’s side.
Edith looked at Susan with an unspoken appeal and her friend sprang into action.
“Mr Sage, I do believe we are promised for the next. I’m sure Lady Edith will appreciate our absence. She is quite well, just needing a moment to gather herself,” Susan chivvied and bullied the two gentlemen so they moved away from Edith.
Lady Edith's Lonely Heart: A Regency Romance (Lonely Hearts Series Book 1) Page 9