He nudged me to feed him more and I held it back.
"You have to go slow or you'll get an ice cream headache."
I waited a few moments as the frozen treat began to melt and drip. I caught it with my other hand and licked it off my palm.
"Here," I said, shoving the chip toward him. "That's enough time." I adjusted in the chair to face him better. I needed to see his eyes clearly when I asked the rest.
"The spell wasn't just to take my soul, was it?" I inhaled deeply to brace myself. "It needed my lifeforce in order to bring her out. My soul would have been swapped, trapped with Lucifer in her stead."
His gaze pinned to mine. I knew I was right.
"You knew him," I said. "You knew how real his grief was. You knew he wasn't playing around. And you let your sister stay there instead of using me to bring her back."
He swallowed.
"She's been gone a long time. She wouldn't have wanted to come back under those conditions."
My throat hurt at the longing and grief in his words.
He took a chip from me and held it over the bowl.
"I miss her," he said. "I miss them all."
His brother. His father. All the things he'd sacrificed to keep Lilith and her demons from infecting and ravishing the nine worlds.
"He broke the stone," he said, stabbing the chip into the ice cream without pulling any back out. "She had given up the warrior life. She'd bedded him. The stone cracked. She needed to fix what they had broken."
A light went off somewhere in my mind. "And because she had broken her vow of celibacy, she couldn't make it back out. She didn't have the power to fight Lucifer."
He left the chip, dug deeply into the mound of cream.
"He went insane with grief. He became a Soul Merchant and took on all that it meant, thinking it would empower him to extract her. But there was never a way. I had to lock him in to keep him from hurting anyone else."
He turned away from me and pushed the bowl aside. I had to grab at it before it dumped its contents onto my lap. "I didn't want you to know all these things. Not about me. Not about my family."
"You saw what it did to him," he said. "Over the years, he became the thing she fought so hard against. I thought keeping him in the tower would keep him safe. The worlds safe. I didn't want to..."
I put my finger against his lips. "Don't say it," I said. " You don't have to. I know."
"She would still have loved him anyway," he said musingly. "Tamar would have brought him back to himself. You saw what he looked like. She could have done it."
"Then why didn't you tell him that?" I said. "Why did you lie to him? He died thinking he was a monster."
He lifted my chin with a crooked finger.
"You have to ask that?"
I nodded and he tapped my nose almost annoyed before he answered.
"Because if he knew that, he would never stop. There was a chance I could appeal to him, make him stop the spell before it was too late." He shook his head. "But I couldn't, and I knew that when I looked at her. I knew how much he loved her. I knew the ache of it."
He sighed and leaned his head back against the chair as the kitten hopped up onto it and picked her way along the back to my side where she climbed onto my lap and curled up. He watched her with a strange expression, one that put a new thought into my head.
"Would you have let Tamar through if it had been someone else's soul he'd tapped?"
"It wasn't someone else's," he said and reached for the kitten, avoiding my eye altogether.
She batted at him once but then when he nuzzled her belly with his nose, she grabbed for it with both paws. He made a thoughtful sound when the kitten's tongue darted out and made contact with the tip.
I noted two things in that moment. One: the kitten had begun to warm up to him and that pleased him, and two: he didn't answer my question, and didn't look like he was going to either.
I decided it was about all I could expect at the moment. Maybe it was more than I could ask for under the conditions. It would take time for him to heal; I knew that better than anyone. That sort of thing couldn't be rushed.
But for now, we had ice cream and chips. And that would have to be enough.
<<
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For more information visit theaatkinson.com
AUTHOR'S NOTE
I HAD A LOT OF FUN exploring the Shadow Bazaar and I have my readers to thank for prodding me to do more in the realm.
As I developed the story, I realized I needed to come up with some sort of map to show myself where everything was in the bazaar and how it was laid out. Being a word gal and not a pictures gal, this was tough. I drew out what I thought it should look like but it was nothing but henscratch.
So I used an online map maker to sort of visualize things. It was NOWHERE near what my picture looked like since I simply couldn't create what I wanted. I guess I need to draw one or have it professionally drawn for me at some point. Plus, I got sort of sidetracked with all the pretty things I could put in it. But I did try. At some point I might put it on Thea's Writing Page on Facebook.
Also, if this story entertained you and let you escape the chaos of your own world, I'd love to hear about it. I won't leave a link for a review because I'm pretty sure you can manage that on your own if you so desire.
But I do want to thank you for reading me. Every book I sell, every email I receive encouraging me to continue really warms my heart.
I wish you peace
Thea
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Thea Atkinson, Soul Merchant (Isabella Hush Series Book 5)
Soul Merchant (Isabella Hush Series Book 5) Page 23