by Tom Shepherd
“Don’t have enough facts to think anything yet.” Tyler looked into Veraposta’s eyes. “If you’re gone, who ascends?”
“As Bandu’s Second Wife, Leola becomes the new First Queen.” She closed her eyes. “It is a hideous thought. She is my dearest friend. May I ask her—?”
“Absolutely not. Don’t tell her anything.”
“Tyler Matthews, I cannot deceive someone I love so dearly.”
“It isn’t Queen Leola,” Sash consoled her. “I’m sure we’re looking for an unsub. Uh, that’s Terran for unknown subject.”
“So, why can’t I warn Leola?”
Tyler shook his head firmly. “If the real killer suspects your Sister-Queen is aware of their plans, you could put Leola’s life at risk.”
“I don’t understand,” Veraposta said.
“This is just speculation for now, but here’s what we know,” Tyler said. “Somebody or something caused your First Husband to change from angel to devil overnight. Then he systematically eliminated powerful members of the higher nobility and royal lineages. That same party—probably an unsub—may have pumped the Emperor full of aggression compounds to get someone else to kill him. If so, you and Queen Leola might be the next targets. Chaos allows usurpers a chance to seize power.”
“Is this possible?” Veraposta said. “Can you prove it?”
“Normally, I’d ask Dr. Solorio to analyze Bantu’s remains, but it happened over four years ago and you burned him to a crisp with a heat-blaster. Whatever compounds they used were likely fried beyond reconstruction.”
“With a single word,” Veraposta said, “I can send Leola to the farthest edge of the Empire where she will be safe.”
“Bad guys have starships, Highness. Nobody is safe anywhere. Let’s not tip our hand yet. Just be careful.”
Veraposta turned to her half-brother. “Would you grant me some time alone with Tyler Matthews this Toorlazimbaa evening?”
“Of course, beloved Sister.” He bowed and exited, closing the hatch behind him.
“I can linger here a little while.” Veraposta took a deep breath and moved closer to Tyler on the couch. “I need to release my energy this holiday evening. Too much tension. Too much fear.”
He gulped. “I find that sometimes a cool shower or a good book—”
“How can I reward you for defending Zenna and protecting Leola and me?”
“We’re cool,” Tyler became aware of Veraposta’s nearby warmth. He inhaled her perfume and it was like a spring day, rich with blossoms. “Zenna’s family has offered to cover our expenses.”
“I hunger to do something special for you.” She took his hand and pressed it against her ample breast. He felt warm flesh under the thin fabric of the robe. “Have you ever mounted a Queen, Tyler Matthews?”
“Highness, this doesn’t feel right.” Okay, that was a lie. It feels magnificent. “I mean, it’s very nice, but wrong.”
“Yet your fingers linger, playing with my nipple…” She laughed musically. “Do you know about Toorlazimbaa?”
“Yeah…I think.” Tyler felt his head swimming, and the fabric of the couch shimmered beneath him.
“We celebrate the spirit of sensuality by sharing intimacy with selected strangers. It means nothing; it means everything.”
She guided the second hand into place and Tyler was helpless to stop squeezing and caressing her. Veraposta’s breasts were full and soft. The Queen moaned at his touch and kissed him, open mouth, with a darting, honey tongue. Tyler wondered what it would be like, doggie-style.
They kissed so fiercely he forgot to breathe. Gray bulkheads swirled into a cyclone of rainbows and spilled color overhead and across the deck, like they were making love inside the Cumberland Tunnel.
“Wait…” He pushed away. “What about Zenna, your Gookie-Poo?”
“It’s Toorlazimbaa. Lust conquers all.” She fell into his arms.
Oh, God, she feels so good. Suzie can’t see me in here. Communication umbilicals don’t attach at a Quirt space station. And it’s their religious holiday. Joyous Toorlabamba. They expect wild sex. It’s customary. To refuse would be an insult—no, a sin! And, God, she feels soooo good… She has the chemistry to drive a man wild.
A light went on inside Tyler’s brain. Pheromones! She’s perfumed the god-damned air with body-lust chemicals.
He gathered all his strength, succumbed to several breathless kisses and squeezing caresses, patted her ass, and finally slid away from her arms. The room stopped spinning colors, ship’s walls grayed again.
“Highness, you are irresistible. But our relationship must be professional.”
Panic raced through his brain. Suzie’s datacom was still on the table—recording everything! He shut it down with a finger and slipped the device into a pocket. Was it broadcasting to the Henry’s computer net? If so, Suzie had heard all. Darkness flooded the Universe, accompanied by silent, cosmic prayer to the great God of Elimination. “Oh, shit…”
Veraposta, not privy to his thoughts, pouted nonetheless. “I only wanted to repay your kindness, Tyler, yet you reject my affection. You never even penetrated me.”
“Don’t say that!” Tyler grabbed his head.
“Indulge yourself. Joyous Toorlazimbaa!” She slid toward him on the couch, rubbed her breasts against his arm, and giggled. “What is that delicious Terran verb? Let’s fuck…”
“No, no!” He hopped to the other side of the sitting area. “I’ll probably kick myself someday, but I can’t accept. Ethical issues.”
She pouted like a disappointed child. “But how will I reward you?”
“Does your ship’s MLC have the bookmarks for Jump Gates in the Outer Arm and Perseus?”
“I can provide the location of every Gate known to the Quirt-Thyme Empire, even those built by the Matthews Corporation.” She smiled lustily. “How badly do you need that information?”
“Desperately. We’re launching a legal mission to the Carina Arm tonight. My brother, sister and fiancé are flying to a Meklavite planet to get my uncle out of trouble. The charges are serious.”
“And the Gate locations will help?”
“Absolutely. Without Gate travel, our legal team won’t get there in time to prepare a proper defense.” Tyler tucked his hands behind his back to keep them from wandering into the danger zone. “Will you download the bookmarks to my MLC?”
“I am willing to trade.” She lay back on the couch and raised a blue leg suggestively.
Red alert claxons exploded in his head. Suzie, Suzie, Suzie. He was Ulysses, lashed to the mast, engulfed in gales of siren song that begged him to come and die in their arms.
Tyler stood. “No deal.”
She sat up, gawking at him. “You’re really turning me down? Do you know how many—”
“I’m already taken. Toorlabamba or not.”
She laughed wickedly. “I envy your woman.”
“The Jump Gate map?”
“All right, Tyler Matthews. It’s a closely guarded secret, not to be shared with non-Quirt-Thymeans. But I am already facing charges of murder and treason. What’s one more offense?” She shook her head. “How to do this…hmmm. Docked ships are firewalled from the net.”
“Can you make a copy on a data crystal with the information?”
“This little skiff doesn’t have the whole map. Once I’m clear of the station, I’ll have someone I trust send a copy to my half-brother by encrypted transmission. He can decode and datatext the map to you.”
“Thank you, Highness. You may have saved my uncle’s life.”
“Since you are Zenna-Zenn’s attorney, my fate rests in your hands.”
And that’s all I want in my hands right now…whew.
Outside the airlock, Sash, Suzie and Julieta waited with J.B. and Rosalie. The greeting squad’s faces relaxed in visible relief when Tyler emerged from meeting with the Queen.
“How did it go?” Suzie said.
He evaded her eyes. “Business-like. Very profe
ssional.” God, I should’ve check my face. If that blue hottie was wearing lipstick, I’m a dead man. “She’s providing the Jump Gate map.” Tyler tactfully omitted Veraposta’s offer of supplemental benefits.
“First good news I’ve heard all day,” J.B. said.
Tyler turned to Veraposta’s brother. “Sash, you lied to us, again. Veraposta killed the King, and you knew it.”
“But she had every right to self-defense, and the unsub—”
“I still don’t know if there is an unsub, so quit invoking old Terran TV shows to cover your deceit.”
The blue alien looked away. “Forgive me, Tyler Ivey. I acted from family loyalty. Surely you understand—”
“The Queen is sending the Gate map to you. Forward it to the Patrick Henry, and we’ll upload the data into the Beagle before J.B. departs.”
“Of course.”
“Next time you withhold information, you’re off the team.”
“After I secure the most important and very secretive Gate map for my friends the Star lawyers, I will go to the capital city, attempt to see Zenna-Zenn, and report to you tomorrow morning.” He bowed and shuffled away.
“Why is Sash in the doghouse?” J.B. said.
“It’s way complicated. Let me worry about Sash. You gotta focus on Uncle Charlie’s case. Maybe you, Rosalie and Suzie should return to the Henry and finish prepping the Legal Beagle for departure. Julieta and I will stalk some of those expats prowling Toorlabamba tonight.”
“Sounds like a plan,” J.B. said.
“Don’t get drunk.” Suzie wagged a finger. “And if you value your arse, no rumpy-pumpy during the orgy phase.”
He took a deep breath. Honesty is not always the best policy. Tyler put a hand over his heart. “Madame, you wound me.”
“I haven’t, but I will.” She growled, playfully. “Behave.”
“Hey—I’m being-have.”
Julieta laughed. “I’ll watch him, sweetie.”
“If your brother is still moping around,” Tyler called to Julieta, “you might encourage him to relieve Demarcus at hospital guard duty.”
Julieta said, “Esteban isn’t exactly your junkyard dog.”
Tyler agreed. “But his psionic gifts can detect the bad guys before Station Security does. Lovey could still be a target.”
Three androids turned from an access shaft into the outer docking wharf and toddled toward the humans. Rosalie and Julieta bent to ankle holsters, snapped their blasters free, and held the weapons behind their backs. All five humans watched in silence as the robots passed without incident. Rosalie and Julieta holstered the sidearms.
“Are we getting paranoid?” J.B. said.
“Hell, yes. For good reason,” Tyler said. “Let’s get moving.”
Six
Julieta and Tyler split up to cover the gigantic ballroom more efficiently. He felt awkward without her beside him. Cousin Julieta spoke almost as many languages as Rosalie. But a smile and a nod carried him through dozens of passing encounters with alien races. Although not every species understood the gesture, none appeared offended by the Terran greeting ritual.
After more trips to the food tables and a few cups of wine, he found a pair of expats. Towering, slender woman with huge violet eyes, about thirty years old, olive complexion, mahogany hair with frosted gold highlights. She wore a tight apricot dress and had the face of a Greek goddess. Beside her, accentuating her height, stood a medium-height man, early forties, shimmering silver blond hair and the thick neck of a weightlifter. Odd contrast. She looked like a tall Mediterranean; he could pass for a short Norseman. Both extremely pleasant to behold.
“You must be Tyler Matthews. Good to meet you.” He extended a muscular hand. Tyler struggled not to squeal at his vise-lock. Oldest dominance game in the world. “Orson Brick, Trade Ambassador for the Terran Energy Consortium.”
Dad’s mortal enemies in business battle. Watch for land mines.
The woman offered her hand. “My rude companion hasn’t introduced me to the handsomest Terran at Toorlazimbaa.” She winked. “Siona Kalos, also of the Consortium.” Her soft fingers squeezed his palm.
“The E. C. reported you were headed this way, but I never believed it,” Brick said.
“What brings the governing corporation to the Quirt-Thyme homeworld?” Tyler said.
“We’re stationed here,” Siona answered for him. “Two years for me, Orson longer.”
Tyler studied those amazing violet eyes and allowed himself a glance at the swelling fabric covering nice breasts. Damn. A year ago he would have spent the rest of the evening, or as long as it took, to secure an overnight berth wherever she was staying. Now, he had a better deal awaiting him, even if Suzie was about to sail away and leave him batching it for weeks.
“Has the Consortium signed any trade deals with the Quirts recently?” he said.
“A few deals,” Brick said. “Technology to exploit singularities as energy, but that’s not primarily why we’re here. Mr. Rooney wants dialogue with all the major spacefaring cultures. It’s good for Terra.”
“So, you’re diplomats?” Tyler took a sip and noticed his cup was empty. “Which one of you is the spy—or both?”
Siona laughed delightedly. “Your reputation for frankness was not exaggerated, Tyler. May I call you Tyler?”
“Why not? Expats need to stick together.” Sorry, hot pants. I’m not falling into the seduction trap again tonight, even for a knockout like you. Especially not with Suzie most likely monitoring the activities out here in the Station Commons.
Brick swished his cup. “Mr. Rooney asked me to inquire about his son, Rodney. A member of your crew, I’m told.”
“My chief engineer. Good kid. Doing a spanking good job.” When Tyler said spanking, Siona caught her breath and shivered. Whoa, baby. Why am I attracting all the sexy-crazies now that I’m in a relationship? Where were you when I was single!
“Is it true your ship is a holographic whorehouse?” Orson Brick said.
“Yeah, but my brother, the former monk, reprogrammed them as flight crew.”
“Anything else I can tell the CEO without putting my job in jeopardy?” Brick finished his wine.
“Hmmm. Let’s see… Rodney’s in love with a holographic dominatrix named Arabella, also a crew member.” Okay, that was gratuitous. “But don’t worry. She stays in her Alpha personality these days. Lieutenant Arabella is highly efficient and only slightly salacious.”
“I think we’ll withhold that bullet point from the next report to HQ,” Brick said.
“Smart career choice,” Tyler agreed. “Now that the EC has won the bidding war to run the government, do you maintain a facility representing our Commonwealth on Annistyn?”
“Just planted the flag. We converted our trade embassy into a full-service Terran Consulate last month,” Brick said. “Picked up computer access codes and security keys for the staff last weekend.”
“You should visit,” Siona said.
“Yeah, not until after the trial,” Tyler said. “They execute defenders of regicides.”
She winked. “How bold of you.”
“Mind if I ask you about the local scene?” Tyler waved a hand at the multi-species passers-by. “I know the relationship between my Father and Mr. Rooney is based on… what’s the best diplomatic word?”
“Hate?” Siona said.
“Bingo!” Tyler laughed. “Look, whatever our corporate rivalries may be, I would really appreciate the advice of Terrans who know the culture. The life of a good friend is at stake.”
“Tertiary Sub-Prince Zenna-Zenn Ringadool-Khelida-LeBokk, Junior,” Orson Brick said. “You call him Mr. Blue.”
How the hell did they know that? “I call him Indigo.”
“Be glad to help.” Orson Brick looked into his empty cup. “Anybody want a refill?”
He collected their cups and wove his way through the crowd toward the nearest refreshment station. Siona moved a little closer, smiling faintly.
&nbs
p; “You know about the Toorlazimbaa custom of Momentary Fidelity?”
Tyler shrugged, feigning ignorance. “Is that where relatively unfamiliar people find private rooms and screw each other’s brains out?”
“Pretty much describes it. They consider it an act of worship.”
“My first visit to the Quirt-Thyme Empire,” he said. “Not yet comfortable with the free-love aspects of the holiday.”
“I’m great at expanding your comfort zone. Don’t know much about FTL, but I have a firm grasp on LGF.”
“LGF?”
“Let’s Go Fuck.”
“Uh… I’m very flattered. Like your last name suggests, Ms. Kalos, you’re a beautiful woman.”
“Oh! You speak Greek?” She rattled a few phrases.
He waved a hand. “Just enough to pass the New Testament class at St. Mary’s Catholic High.”
“Well, how religious are you, Tyler? Want to do a little alien faith exploration with me?”
He laughed. “Very tempting. Maybe next Toorlabamba.” Oh, hell, yes, I’m tempted. I should slap my own face for thinking it.
“Oh, well.” She shrugged. “I tried.”
Tyler checked for Brick, but he was lost in the crowd. “Can’t humans get it on with Quirts?” Well, he knew that answer, but maybe Siona would run with the suggestion.
“Sure,” she agreed. “But you wake up feeling like you fucked a blue kangaroo.”
Tyler laughed hard, wheezing for air. He’d keep that image in mind during his next audience with the Queen Veraposta.
“You sound like Suzie,” he said when he could breathe again.
“Your wife?”
“Fiancé.”
“Is she here?”
“At the ship, working.” He was starting to like Siona, but that didn’t mean he trusted her. “How about you and Mr. Brick?”
“Gay.”
“Ah.”
“Also my supervisor.”
”Well, Miss Kalos, good hunting tonight. Both of you. And watch out for the blue kangaroos.”
“You, too.” She laughed lightly. “I hope your lucky fiancé doesn’t work all night.”
Orson Brick returned with three full cups of dark red wine. “Now, Mr. Matthews, what can we do for your azure friend?”