by Tom Shepherd
Kalilee raised her chin, clearly uncomfortable with tough questions from a man. “The Meklavite civilization is much older than human society. In the beginning, the males of our species ruled here, as they do on most worlds.”
“It is a natural development,” Rosalie said. “To grow from a stone age civilization requires strength, ferocity, and cunning.”
Kalilee teeter-tottered her head. “And we appreciate the service of our men during primitive times. Even today, males provide the bulk of our police, public order, and military forces. At first, men ruled everywhere. Thousands of generations passed, and we still fought among ourselves, accomplishing little beyond temporary dominance over neighbors.
“Then women began our ascent to power. At first we assumed supportive roles to free men for duties elsewhere. Then we demanded political equality. Finally, we became the dominant partner, negotiated with other arisen women across warring barriers, and achieved harmony. As a Meklavite Union, we pointed this culture outward, into the Universe.”
“Why subjugate your males?” Suzie said.
“Subjugate?” The question appeared to startle her. “The longer women ran the world, the better life became for both sexes. Today the transformation is complete. Men are willingly subordinate, happy to be fathers, homemakers, lovers, and companions for their women.”
“Happy? Like the women were, when dominated by men?” J.B. said.
“The circumstances are different. Men today enjoy true happiness, not enforced servitude. We have scientific evidence and the testimony of history to prove it is the best social contract for both sexes. This is why we allow successful Meklavites to take multiple husbands.”
“Let’s get back to the legal problem,” Suzie said. “What did Uncle Charlie do?”
“Charles Matthews… tampered with the social order.”
“Can you be more specific?” Rosalie said.
“I’ll let your family member describe his guilt. Later, I will report his confession to the prosecution team.”
Parvati spoke for the first time. “That’s a strange attitude for someone designated as his Public Defender. Your code of ethics requires objectivity in adjudication but respects the attorney-client relationship.”
Lady Kalilee bristled. “Are you questioning my objectivity?”
J.B. waved a hand. “No, of course—”
“Yes,” Parvati said. “You are unfit for this assignment. We dismiss you without recourse.”
Every eye in the room turned on the dark woman in the lavender sari. Suzie smiled slightly and spoke to Parvati in Hindi. “You are into the MLC cross-cultural judicial files.”
“Yes, ma’am,” she replied in the same tongue. “The Public Defender welcomes this action. Trust me.”
Suzie turned to J.B. and translated a summary of their conversation into Spanish, then added, “Es tu decisión.”
“Continúe por favor,” he said carefully.
Parvati was not precisely short for a woman of the Indian subcontinent, but compared to the leggy Meklavite Public Defender and the Euro-American Matthews family she waded at the shallow end of the gene pool. The sari flowed smoothly as Parvati gestured to the door.
“Lady Kalilee, please send in the defendant on your way out. You may tell your superiors Charles Matthews has engaged outside counsel.”
“It is his right,” Kalilee said. “If you do not object, I will provide your family member the legal protection of a male chaperon, sworn to confidentiality.”
“That is acceptable,” Parvati said.
“Blessings of an orderly Universe be upon you.”
“And the many gods of our people upon thee,” Parvati replied.
The Public Defender raised her hands in a farewell gesture and left the conference room.
“What just happened?” J.B. said.
“Parvati caught a cultural nuance,” Suzie said. “Tell them.”
“Lady Kalilee wanted off the case, but was honor bound not to resign,” Parvati said. “The tipoff came when she did not join us at the engratiox. To be certain we knew what she wanted, she not only stood away from the table but also declared her intent to share attorney-client conversations with opposing counsel. Because Terran law absolutely forbids that, she provided grounds to dismiss her under our rules.”
“Good catch, Ensign,” J.B. said.
The door cracked slightly and a male Meklavite poked his head into the room. Suzie reflected on the odd confluences of evolution, first summarized in the twenty-fourth century by Wolfgang Ziegler. Although most alien lifeforms were distinctly different from the children of Earth, the star-five humanoid shape frequently reoccurred among technologically advanced species.
Meklavites and certain other species encountered by humanity were quite similar to Terrans. DNA comparisons revealed no direct relationship, but structural similarities abounded among bipedal, mammalian humanoids. Ziegler said evolution will always provide a solution to environmental problems. Eyes to see, ears to hear. Since there are a finite number of ways creatures can overcome their evolutionary challenges, similarities were bound to occur.
Take this fellow for instance. His black hair was flecked with silver, and he had a broad-jawed face with a straight-edged nose. His arms were long and muscular and two stainless steel rings adorned his right hand, the index and ring fingers. Even in late middle age he was still handsome, and Suzie suspected ten years ago he might have turned every head in a room full of Terran women. In the matriarchal Meklavite society, that opportunity probably never presented itself.
“May I enter, gentleladies?” The voice was soft and tentative, but his Terran had almost no accent.
“Please join us,” Rosalie said in Zyra-Crispin, then switched to Terran Standard. “Tell us your name.”
“My label is Tevitak-1108. I am an unmated Court Attendant specializing in chaperon duties for male defendants without stable affiliation. My vow of confidentiality is absolute.”
Rosalie nodded. “His presence is required for our protection.”
J.B. raised an eyebrow. “Our protection?”
“Not you, my fellow servant,” Tevitak said politely. “The ladies may not be unescorted in the presence of an unclaimed male who faces criminal charges. If he offends, I will kill him for you.”
Suzie smirked. “I may need your services when we return to the Quirt-Thyme Empire.”
His confused reply was interrupted when two tough-looking male guards unceremoniously dragged Uncle Charlie into the conference room, plopped the prisoner at the engratiox, and sealed the door as they left. Suzie had studied all available images of Charles Francis Matthews, but hours of holographic recordings could not simulate the warm tingling she felt with Uncle Charlie seated among them. Sky blue eyes and chestnut hair streaked with gold, not silver. He smiled like Father Christmas, yet he was not stout but thickly built, like brother Noah and nephew J.B. When he spoke Suzie heard Tyler’s energy and the musical tones of Rosalie, projected by a rich, mellifluous voice.
“J.B. the Bear and my Red Fox, Rosalie!” Charlie laughed like a baritone soloist in an Italian comic opera. They embraced in an awkward, three-way hug. “Did my brother send you out here to bribe the natives and spring me from the gallows? How very kind of the puckered asshole. Noah thinks money will solve anything.”
“We’re not here to bribe anybody,” J.B. said.
“Good, because it won’t work. I already tried. These annoying Mek bitches are demanding retribution for my crimes.” He noticed Tevitak-1108, who stood in the corner of the room. “And that must be the judicial chaperon. You are dismissed, sir. I waive my gender safeguard rights.”
“My protection is for the ladies,” Tevitak said.
“We also waive,” Suzie said.
The Court Attendant bowed and left the room.
Charlie glanced at his nephew. “So, now that the designated spy has left the premises, what’s the plan?”
“We’re your legal defense team,” J.B. said. “We�
��ll beat them in court.”
“That’s it?” Charlie said. “I was kinda hoping for something other than a wish and a prayer.”
J.B. ignored the jibe. “Rosalie handles cross-cultural issues. Parvati, our legal research link. And Suzie is lead counsel.”
“Well, well, well. Bianca texted me about the mysterious Suzanne London, who captured the heart of our lone Wolf.”
He appraised her for a moment. In another context, she would have been uneasy. But the twinkle in Charlie’s eye made her feel less like a dancer at a brass pole than a girlfriend meeting the Family for their stamp of approval. She wanted Tyler’s relatives to like her, but that was their choice. So far, she’d scored high marks with Tyler’s mom, the fiery Admiral Bianca Matthews-Solorio, and his dad, Tyler Noah Matthews III, head of the Family. What about this free spirit, Uncle Charlie, who seemed to have no problem speaking his thoughts rather bluntly?
“I see why he finds you alluring,” Charlie continued his assessment. “Thought Bianca exaggerated when she described her future daughter-in-law’s good looks. Now, I think she understated your beauty.”
“You are too kind, Mr. Matthews,” Suzie said.
He grinned. “Are you as smart as you are sexy?”
“Charlie...” Rosalie groaned. “That’s rude. Shame on you.”
Suzie raised a hand. “I accept the complement. The answer is yes. Bloody smart enough to know you’re up to your bum in trouble, and we’re your best shot at cheating the hangman.”
“Hang-woman,” he said dryly. “No offense, my dear, but who says I want your help? I have a license to practice law myself, you know.”
“Uncle Charlie, this is serious,” J.B. said. “Dad sent us here to defend you. So, we’re going to defend you.”
“Malarkey. I can defend myself.”
“No, Mister Matthews, you cannot,” Parvati said. “Men are not allowed to argue cases in court.”
“J.B., am I supposed to turn my fate over to these ladies?”
His nephew nodded. “Unless you have a better idea.”
“I have a few alternatives in mind.” Charlie sank into a chair. “Well, the Family sent you way out here, so I suppose we should discuss my case. What do you know so far?”
“You are accused of violating Meklavite law by marrying over two hundred fifty women,” J.B. said.
“Yeah, I did that, but it’s not why they arrested me.” Charlie tapped his fingers on the table. “Did you notice the terraformed moon Lerrotica—
the larger one, with dozens of settlements? Lovely place. They brought exotic flowers and animals from all over the galaxy. And the mineral hot springs—”
“What does a vacation spot have to do with your case?” J.B. said.
Charlie chuckled. “Bear with me. I’ll get there.”
“Lerrotica is catalogued a pleasure moon,” Parvati said. “Diversions include multi-species sexual activities, gambling and gaming, a large database of replicated intoxicants, holographic excursions to a wide variety of cultures and historic events—”
“Lerrotica is a getaway for wealthy Meklavite men who want to drink, gamble, and get laid,” Charlie said. “The women allow it because they understand humanoid psychology. Let a small number of elite males blow off steam and the social order maintains its equilibrium. A little poker, a little pussy, men calm down.”
“Charlie!” J.B. roared.
“Excuse me for speaking the truth.”
“What about the rest of the male population?” Suzie said. “Doesn’t the sight of an unaffordable, unattainable mantuary sailing across the night sky make revolution more likely?”
“That was my argument exactly,” Charlie said. “When I found the solution, it seemed to work for a while.”
“Don’t keep us guessing,” J.B. said.
“For every frustrated man on Farroleok-7, there were multitudes of equally frustrated women. All I had to do was hook them up. They already knew how to fuck.”
J.B. put his hands on his head, as though holding the scream inside his mind. “Charlie…”
“It actually makes sense sociologically,” Rosalie said. “If some women can have multiple husbands, many more women will go through life alone.”
“And quite frequently the ‘multiple husbands’ are not living happily ever after,” Charlie said. “So, I established a match-making service. But the initial goal of most of my young clients wasn’t marriage but carnal knowledge. That worked, too. I could charge both for their encounter.”
“Why marry so many women?” Suzie said.
“Stroke of genius, I say modestly. Once I married a lady and enrolled her in my stable, I could legally share her with other males or females, depending on her sexual orientation.”
“Legally?” J.B. sounded skeptical.
“Totally,” Charlie insisted.
Rosalie said, “He’s right. Meklavite mores entitle a spouse to offer intimate delights of a legal mate to friends or business acquaintances as long as all parties consent. Monetary donations and love gifts may be lawfully exchanged.”
“Isn’t that meant for women to share husbands with other females?” J.B. said.
“The law doesn’t specify,” Charlie said. “I checked first.”
“So, how did you run afoul of the system?” J.B. said.
Charlie frowned. “When I applied this delightful custom to a business model, they accused me of humanoid trafficking and running a prostitution ring. They said I would destabilize the social order by taking extra wives. Such hypocrisy!”
“How’s it not humanoid trafficking?” J.B. said. “You ‘farmed out’ your wives and collected money from their customers.”
“Only until the lady wanted out of the rotation. Then we got a quickie divorce. She could stay single or marry whomever she chose. You see? Everybody’s happy except the government.” Charlie nipped his thumbnail. “And the Mob.”
J.B. gasped. “The what?”
“Well, you know, there’s this syndicate that controls Lerrotica and, you know, franchises certain activities down here on Farroleok-7.”
“Let me guess.” J.B. loomed over his seated uncle. “The local Mafiose decided your ‘business venture’ violated their monopoly on prostitution.”
“You see, there’s that awful word again. I explained to them. It isn’t prostitution, it’s a match-making service. But they were as unreasonable as the colonial government. And they’re based on the male-dominated moon Lerrotica, so it’s Mafioso, not the feminine form.”
“Mob-franchised providers work the main planet?” Parvati said.
“Yeah, but they are actual whores.”
“You are casting a wide net with those words.” Suzie glanced at Parvati, who retained her East Indian air of detachment. “Your sex workers are virtuous, but not others?”
Charlie’s nose wrinkled. “Honey, are you here to defend me, or make the government’s case for them?”
“She raises an issue you can expect to hear in court,” J.B. said.
Charlie sorted. “If I live long enough to see a courtroom.”
J.B.’s lips tightened. “What does that mean?”
“It means that T’paeken Heirzos, head of the Lerrotica Mob, has put a price on my ass.” He glanced at Parvati. “Pardon the language, darling.”
“Oh, now it’s pardon the language?” J.B. sneered.
“We need to talk with the mob boss,” Rosalie said.
“No, no, no.” Charlie waved an index finger. “I don’t want you anywhere near that moon. Heirzos is a killer.”
Suzie smiled. So, Charlie doesn’t know about the hidden skill set of his darling Red Fox.
“He’s the only one who can call off the bounty hunters,” Rosalie said.
J.B. nodded. “And confirm the government’s involvement in the same crimes they allege you committed.”
“Look, all of you—go home. Tell Noah and Bianca I’ll be okay. I have a few friends in this colony who are looking at alternative means of
resolving my imprisonment issues.”
“Bribes don’t work,” J.B. reminded him.
Charlie shrugged.
Suzie slapped the tabletop. “Bloody hell—he’s plotting a jail break!”
J.B. folded his arms. “Charlie…”
“Told you not to worry.”
“Hopping star systems, a fugitive from Mek justice, is a satisfactory itinerary for the rest of your life?” J.B. said.
Parvati added, “The Meklavite Union has trade routes and colonies all over the galaxy.”
Charlie cocked his head. “You think I can get justice here?”
“When the government is against you, argue the facts and the law,” J.B. said. “Give Parvati a list of your present and former wives. Suzie can start taking depositions to identify good witnesses. She speaks and reads the Zyra-Crispin language.”
“All right.” Charlie turned to his niece. “Stay off Lerrotica.”
“No can do,” Rosalie said. “I’m not as fluent as Suzie, but I speak a little Z-C. So, unless the party animals of Lerrotica communicate in Terran Standard, I’m needed at this jamboree.”
“Rosie…” Charlie whined.
“It non-negotiable,” J.B. said. “Any chance your mobster friend might guarantee our safety to visit Lerrotica and negotiate a settlement?”
“T’paeken’s a killer, but also a businessman. He might agree.” Charlie sighed. “I can live with that. When do we leave?”
“We?” J.B. said.
“If you’re heading to Lerrotica, I’m going with.” Charlie stood.
“You’re expecting bail?” J.B. said.
Parvati raised a palm. “Meks allow family members to sign out prisoners awaiting trial. If he fails to show, you will be charged with the same crimes.”
J.B. frowned. “Six days until trial. Let’s get moving.”
J.B. assigned the depositions to Suzie, who immediately downloaded a full legal education and Zyra-Crispin conversational language skills into the programs of Ulrika and Zalika. The complex written language was unavailable in the Beagle’s limited Main Library Computer.
The new Star Lawyers disembarked with Suzie to set up a field office while the Legal Beagle awaited clearance to depart. The Beagle lacked the holographic adaptability of the much larger Patrick Henry, so with J.B.’s permission Suzie rented the top two floors of the Darling Cozy luxury hotel to provide Star Lawyers offices and living space during their stay on the Mek colonial world.