by R Corona
I hugged my knees together, lowered my head and asked him why this was happening. His answer did not surprise me. Dez had powerful enemies whom knew of his plans and wanted to destroy every one of his allies. Kostas did not have to say it but I knew he blamed himself. It was obvious that he had become a prisoner of Guilt and would, probably, be one for the rest of his life.
***
Nights at the House became more and more monotonous. It felt empty and lonely. After Kostas’ visit, I was left sleepless. A few days had passed since I had found out about Ette’s death. Gloom roamed the House during the afternoons and its nightly silence terrified me. It was hard to speak to anyone so I remained by myself, feeling as a visible ghost, which is the worst kind of ghost. Their existence is known, yet not acknowledged. Even Gilcome had moved on, finding a new interest in books. He spent most of the days in the library, submerged in notes and diagrams.
One night I found him suspiciously wandering the exposed hall close to my room. He smiled slyly as he saw me, “I have been waiting for you.”
“Yes, I can see that—everyone else is sleeping Gilcome, what do you want?”
He narrowed his eyes and murmured, “I need your help.” His presence intrigued me, what was he planning in the middle of the night?
“My help, with what?”
He took a breath and cleared his throat. “You might think I’m stupid, crazy or maybe even—” Gilcome’s voice was strong yet soothing. For the first time in a long time I felt relaxed, almost hypnotized. Finally, I thought, sleep would come easily this night. Then he spoke again, “I am going to the Plains.” His words surprised me, but didn’t alarm me. I chuckled, mockingly, and headed to my room.
“June.” He called in a low whisper. Gently, he grabbed my arm then wedged himself in front of my door. “I know you want to go, don’t pretend otherwise.” Gilcome fixed his eyes on mine and I felt as he read my desires and fears. Ashamed, I looked away.
The Plains represented the life that had once been mine, but now that life was strange to me. I was scared of it because I did not remember what it had been like. What if I had hated my life, or worst, what if I had liked it even a bit? Returning to the Plains was not a good idea, but Gilcome was right, there was nothing else I wanted than to visit the Plains. Because this was impossible, all I could do was imagine my possibilities. Gilcome was out of his mind, we both knew that leaving the House could be disastrous for our journey.
“How can you ask that of me? The Plains mean much to me but you know that people we know are being hunted by the hour. How can I wave myself in front of the Patrol, tempting them as if the lives they have taken were meaningless. If this is a joke, I ask you to stop. The House is the only thing keeping us safe. How can you ask me to leave when you know Dez’ and my parents’ fate depend on my journey here at the House?”
Gilcome turned around to gather his thoughts, then faced me with disbelief. “A joke? No, it is not a joke. What bothers me most is that you would think that I’d put you at such a risk. I know, more than anyone, that we are wanted by the Patrol, reminding me is unnecessary.”
“Then–”
“If I hadn’t found a way, a safe way that is,” he emphasized, “I wouldn’t have asked you, June. Thought you knew me better.” He didn’t give me a chance to respond, letting his last statement sink in. “These past days I have been working on this,” from his pocket, he slipped two small flasks. “Dez left journals in the library which explain the creation of an antidote to contain a person’s energy. We would be untraceable for about two hours. June, I can’t do this without you.” Gilcome opened a book he had been holding. At the bottom of the first page there was Dez’ signature, the letter D. Gilcome proceed to explain the pictures and diagrams inside the book but I had ceased listening.
Gilcome’s interest was tempting and an exciting spark hid behind his eyes. I studied him as he spoke about the flask. It was my duty to decline his outrageous desire. Ette's life and that of others had been taken and I couldn't help but to blame Dez' cause. A cause I was now part of. As much as I despised Dez and his world at the moment, to risk all that the members and I had worked, for was foolish. While living at the House, many times I questioned the difference between right and wrong and usually my thoughts towards the concepts were blurred; blending into confusion. That night, no doubts lingered. In my mind I prepared to tell him that I wouldn't be going and that neither should he. Then I saw a hopeful look in Gilcome's face. Its presence struck me. Hope was the only thing he possessed and looking at it gave me hope too. It was now that I could see it because as hope was leaving him, it glowed through his skin.
Gilcome had never tried exploring the world outside the House, why did he have the urge now? Was it because his hopeful thoughts were diminishing and he had nothing to lose? Or perhaps he had discovered something new for which he desired to hold on to the remaining drops?
I took one of the flasks from his hand and drank the liquid. Instantly, I knew it had been wrong to do so, but it was worth it, for he smiled sweetly at me. Gilcome’s sweet smile slowly faded into a more serious one, if there is such a thing. He raised one of his eyebrows and after drinking his flask we rushed through the garden door.
An exhilarating feeling drove me and I held on to it, knowing that without it I wouldn't dare to leave the House. As the grounds of the House disappeared into the darkness we both became different people. I sprinted through the deserted streets like I had never known the House. Gilcome was quickly out of breath, overwhelmed with the crispness of the night. A light followed our path, searching for us as if we had escaped from the grounds of a highly guarded prison. At first I thought it was an illusion of the House searching for our energies, then I thought of the Prymm Patrol, but it was neither.
A full moon floated above us, illuminating us as we stepped into the Plains. They were as I had left them, the warmness embraced me tightly and I twirled in between the grass. Gilcome observed from under a tree close to the street and later approached me. Still out of breath he managed to say, “June, how beautiful is the night.” It seemed like he wanted to say more but instead turned around and admired the view. We walked together while the grass caressed our legs and for a second I felt free and imagined Gilcome felt the same way. But that was only an illusion because we were both properties of Dez. We became tired pretty quick and sat down to rest for a while. Gilcome had brought a watch to keep track of time, only twenty five minutes had passed. The passing of time remained slow as I became restlessly tired. Gilcome noticed the color of my face had deepened from a rosy tone to reddened parts on my cheeks. “Something is wrong,” Gilcome shouted and looked at his watch. He placed a hand on my forehead to take my temperature and removed it quickly. “We have to go,” Gilcome said in a panic.
As the moon glided proudly across the sky, I closed my eyes and saw faces of people. In a flash, memories of my past life reached me and injected themselves into me. I knew of my parents, Granny and my life with Aunt Marcelle. I remembered Leev and her disappearance. My heart raced and my vision blurred as the memories poured back. Gilcome stood up and motioned me to follow him. “We’ve been found. Run, June, we have to go now!”
I got up from the ground and ran at his pace, “but you said…Gilcome you promised!”
“I don’t know what happened,” he shouted frantically. Panic dispersed across his face. The drops of sweat running down his forehead glimmered against the moonlight.
Rushing back, I glared one last time towards the Plains, deserted as usual. We reached the streets; as empty as the Plains. I had lost track of time, so I figured everyone in town was sleeping by now. There was not a soul roaming around, how did Gilcome know the Patrol had found us? “Are you sure it’s them?”
“Don’t you feel it? I can see it on your face. Dez wrote about that look in his journals. Your eyes turned white for a while, it means they intercepted your energy. Now, would you stop asking questions and move?”
The glowing moon disapp
eared in the sky. A thunder startled us and encouraged a fast sprint to reach the House. The way back seemed long, in my mind I believed we were closer, but my eyes had been deceiving me. Gilcome and I weren’t even half way back. He ran ahead of me at a fast pace, his speed impressed me. I kept falling behind searching for the light of the moon to guide us. The stormy clouds had covered up even the stars, so I placed my eyes back on the road only to find myself alone. “Gilcome?” I had looked away for a few seconds and he was gone, they had taken him. They had taken him!
With no energy left to run, I gave up. My skin felt cold against the humidity of the warm air. Exhausted, I stood by the rocks, next to a street light with my arms open, ready for what was to come. My eyes filled quickly with tears; I had no one left. If I surrendered to them, everything would be over. But the last thing I wanted to do was cry, so my remaining energy was used to hold back tears.
“You must be nuts, June.” The irritation in his voice had never felt so delightful. “What do you think you are doing?” I looked at him and a tear spilled, quickly I wiped it away so that he wouldn’t see.
“I thought—” Tangled in a mixture of emotions; I threw myself in his arms and hugged him. He whispered something in my ear, but I didn’t hear. Once I had calmed, we resumed the run back to the House. Somehow, I felt more energized than before, as if Gilcome had fused me with his energy. Finally, in a few minutes, we were before the front gardens of the House. The sight was more beautiful than the first time I had seen the House. As we stepped on the grass, I removed my shoes and walked slowly, knowing that I was safe once again. Drops of water fell from the sky; quickly it began to rain at full force. Gilcome grabbed me by the hand and we rushed through the side door into the kitchen, which Gilcome had left unlocked. Our clothes had already been soaked. We were careful not to make any noises, but the heaviness of our clothes made it harder to walk. Gilcome slipped and I giggled as he recovered his balance. He shot me a funny look and prepared to say something clever but the sound of another voice paralyzed his thought.
“Hello?”
Gilcome pulled me into the pantry and shut the door. He placed his hand above my mouth so that I wouldn't make a sound, although I didn’t think that was necessary. From the bottom of the door we saw the kitchen lights turn on.
“Hello?” It was Ms. Baynes. What was she doing up? She murmured something to herself and then we heard some jingly noises. It was then when I remembered that Ms. Baynes liked to wake up in the middle of the night to check on every lock, even the window locks. Once she had completed her check through this side of the House she went back to bed. The lock check was not indispensable, no one in town would even dare to come close to the House and even if they did, from what I had learnt about the House, only certain people could enter. The lights went out and the jingly noises ceased.
“Sorry,” Gilcome realized his hand was still on my lips. He removed it and then lowered himself to the floor.
“What are you doing?” This wasn’t the time for resting. If Ms. Baynes decided to check the pantry, we were done for.
“You do know we have to wait till she’s finished checking all the rooms, right?” His face turned to me as I crouched by him. “We move and she will see us.” Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. How much trouble could we get into? Ms. Baynes wasn’t our owner, she couldn’t control us. Gilcome and I were free to do whatever we pleased.
“What if you show that potion you made. Gilcome, maybe it could change things; save lives.”
“Except, June, it didn’t work!” Then there was silence and it deepened after every pause he took. “I was selfish; it truly was a selfish thing to do. I’m sorry I got you involved.” He had convinced me to go to the Plains but I had decided to go. For some reason or another, it was my fault also. Letting him take the blame would haunt me because I knew it would burden him. However, nothing bad had happen to either of us, so at that moment, I was unable to understand his concern.
“Gilcome, do you always have to take all the credit? I hope you know that I, just as you, am able to make my own decisions. Being young is not an excuse for not taking responsibility for them, even if those decisions are not the best ones.”
Again there was silence and for a while I thought he wouldn’t speak, “I guess there isn’t an excuse,” he said, “not when you have been forced to grow up so quickly.” I wasn’t sure if he was still talking about me, or if it was himself whom he was referring to. “June, I thought you were gone—when we were out there. It struck me like a bolt of energy; of all my mistakes and all the ones that I would ever make, that one would haunt me forever. It would have been the greatest and most senseless.” His voice turned raspy, “Then I saw that you had given up; with your arms spread wide. Knowing that because of my doing you had surrendered all hope and wishes of a better life, I have never felt so empty. What was hardest to deal with was the thought that you had given up on…me.”
My face heated and I was thankful the room was dark. Those same feelings I had shared, but refused to let him know, in fact I didn’t speak for the rest of the night and it bothered him even though he didn’t ask for a reply. When the noises from Ms. Baynes’ keychain had ceased, we emerged from the pantry and walked to our rooms as silently as possible, trying to minimize the squeakiness of our semi-wet steps. My clothes had almost dried by then and Gilcome’s looked somewhat dry as well. As I was getting ready to open my door I looked across the hall at him. From the distance I could see that he was smiling, as usual. “Have a good night, June.”
As I lay to sleep, I thought of Gilcome, wishing I had thanked him because he had saved my life—which wouldn’t have needed saving if he hadn’t convinced me to go to the Plains. Whatever the case, we were both safe and, if nothing else, I had recovered memories of my aunt and my cousin. But the memories were bittersweet. How could knowing that I was once loved help me, when the people that did, were no longer around me? At least, I comforted myself believing that our life together had brought them happiness.
***
In the early hours of the morning I was awakened by soft knocks. Netania spoke through the door while I tried to get out of bed. “June, you must get ready, there is an emergency meeting. The members are waiting for us in the living room.”
“Meeting?” Emergency? I made it to the door and let Netania in. “What meeting, what happened?”
“I’m not sure,” she shrugged, “Ms. Baynes said it was related to something that happened yesterday.” Netania stepped outside while I got ready and then she met me by the hall to walk together. On the way, I recounted some of my recovered memories. She seemed concerned about the speed of my recovery but I assured her I felt emotionally stable, for the moment.
“Have you seen Gilcome?” I imagined the meeting must have taken him by surprise also.
“Earlier, by the kitchen, just after Ms. Baynes announced the meeting. He didn’t look too well. Did something happen to him?”
“Not that I’m aware.” When we arrived to the living room, the members were gathered waiting. In my mind I went through last night’s events trying to isolate anything that could have given us away. I took a spot next to Gilcome, we didn’t break eye contact until Ms. Baynes began to speak.
“The reason of this meeting is of the outmost importance. We are gathered here because last night, the most unimaginable thing occurred and I must inform you all of what transpired.”—my throat tensed with fear, and I glanced at Gilcome for support. He had started sweating heavily, so much so that his face had begun to turn red.—“Dez has energized enough to exert command over the House.” Ms. Baynes continued, “Shortly he will be joining us for a dinner.”
Gilcome closed his eyes and I exhaled with relief. The rest of the members celebrated the news while we stood as zombies facing each other. We were left now with the realization that our fate rested with Dez, the one who knew of everything, the one they called the Magician.
Part II
The Sanctuary
&nb
sp; His whole existence intimidated me, the way he stood and how his whisper-like voice shook the walls of the House, but mostly the way in which he glanced at things. The darkness of his eyes glared with an intense feeling of love, perhaps hate or longing.
For the most part, he was a quiet man. There were too many ideas which kept him quiet, trying to listen to his own mind simulate alternative paths for his new life to follow. At times he would sit by the bamboo windows to think and I would sit by him to do the same. It did not seem to bother him and, truly, the act of watching him was invigorating. Impossible as it was to decipher his thoughts, it was a challenge I sought after, although to no avail.
All of his expressions were the result of an idea. His jaw clenched, emphasizing the strength of his jawbone, when an already accepted thought interfered with newly acquired information. The early hours of the morning freshened him and if one looked with a purely accepting gaze, knowing what to search for, a triumphant sensation was evident when two thoughts collided and connected. It was the hint of a smile; fleeting and modest.
Swiveling around and surrounded by dead thoughts, his new thoughts created the start of a plan. However, it would soon crumble, and his eyes would wrinkle trying to see beyond the physical world. Perhaps into his own mind, but he couldn’t. Here Dez was mortal, though his appearance depicted something more. For a man who had been frozen through generations, Dez looked rather young, but that might have been his goal after all.
As the commander of the House, Dez more than commanded, yet he felt unable, unqualified and overestimated. The members did their best to make him feel at home by tending to his every need but their efforts could never come close. Many were the differences that separated him from the rest and so he was the odd one among us. Odd enough to make him the topic of the whisperings which carried out the secret conversations that roamed the House.