“What do you mean ‘what am I doing here?’” I bristled, crossing my arms. “Besides returning your daughter’s favorite stuffed animal, I came to make sure she was okay since she was basically kidnapped from daycare weeks ago with no warning, no explanation, no nothing.”
His face hardened. “She’s my daughter. I don’t have to share any of that with you.”
“You’re right. Just like you don’t have to share the fact that you have a daughter. But that doesn’t change the fact that you aren’t the only one who cares about Lila!”
My tone rose with each word. The shock of finally finding Lila mingled with the truth that Nick was her father, was iced over with the anger that he knew me and he still kept this from me.
His eyes narrowed, looking up at the top of the stairs, afraid that Lila was going to hear me.
“I can’t believe you have a… that you are Lila’s…”
“Father,” he finished for me, a hard stare and callous expression chiseled into his face.
“How could you not tell me?” Annoyed that my distress seemed to have no effect on him, my hand rose—with a mind of its own—and pushed a finger against his chest. “How could you just t-take her away like that? You can’t do that to a child—especially Lila.”
You can’t do that to me, is what my heart wanted to add.
“Who else knows?” I demanded, poking him again.
His hand clamped around my wrist like a hot handcuff, searing me to him for a second before he pulled it away from his chest and dropped it like I was the one burning him.
“You should go,” he said, running a hand through his perfectly disheveled hair.
“Who else?” I demanded on the verge of tears.
“King, Pride, Jessa, Ally, Channing… so probably Olsen, too.”
Everyone. And they’d all kept it from me. “Everyone but me… the one who took care of her?” My voice echoed my disbelief.
“That does seem to be how it worked out,” he said tightly, with no ounce of remorse. “You should go.”
“Are you serious, Nick?” And I’d officially gone from anger to the brink of tears.
Hold yourself together, Heart.
“I can’t believe… How could you take her and not tell me why, knowing that I worked there? Why keep this from me? Why tell them? What did I do to deserve this?”
My questions quickly became inflated currency, rising faster and faster before I even gave him the chance to tether them down to some sort of valuable answer.
“Why did you pull her out of daycare?” I crossed my arms over my chest, a shield against the coldness in his eyes. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what happened that made you drag Lila from Open Hearts.”
“No one dragged her,” he growled. “But I will drag you if you don’t leave right now.”
“Don’t you dare argue semantics with me, Nick Frost.” My arm reached out to push into his chest again. Fingers met hard, unflinching muscle. Words met harder, unforgiving male.
He crowded me. His chest brushed against my nipples, making them protest at the layers between us. This was worse than standing in front of the open fire. His flames could do more than burn me.
“Tamsin,” he warned dangerously. Our lips were barely an inch apart and his words stopped like he was just as overwhelmed with the need to kiss me as I was wishing him to. My heart was on pause, waiting for the touch of his mouth to start it again. Finally, his lips moved, but not to kiss me. I relished the last second I had before he tossed me from his house. “My daughter and our life is none—”
A demanding knock silenced him and we both turned to the door.
“Don’t move,” he rasped harshly as though I had somewhere to go.
He yanked the door open like he wanted to rip it off its hinge.
“Mr. Frost.”
I shivered at the cold and calculating voice that blew in like an artic breeze.
“Ms. Vane,” he said tightly, still blocking the doorway.
Who was Ms. Vane?
I inched forward, trying to catch a glimpse.
“How can I help you?” he asked.
“I’m here to meet the tutor for Lila. I certainly hope that you didn’t forget that I said this would be required since you pulled her out of daycare.”
Lila needed a tutor? Why didn’t he just send her back to Open Hearts?
“Of course not.”
Numbly, I listened to their clipped conversation that Nick tried to keep outside. She demanded, he subverted. But, in this case, he wasn’t the one in control and I felt his frustration waft over me as he gave in.
“Well then, I’m assuming you need to let me inside so that I can meet her,” Ms. Vane snipped.
Nick stepped back begrudgingly. I had no idea what was going on—and unlike everything else in my life that was executed on the blueprints of a perfect plan, Nick Frost whipped me into his world of mayhem once more.
“Ms. Vane,” he said, his tone threateningly placating. “Let me introduce you to Miss Tamsin Lucas.” He held out his hand toward me and he might as well have just reached in and squeezed my stomach as nausea rolled through me.
What was he doing?
“Miss Lucas is one of the managers at the daycare that Lila was previously enrolled in,” he continued while my tongue tried to remember how to form words. “She has graciously agreed to come on part-time as Lila’s new tutor.”
Black eyes snaked over from the scarecrow-like woman, making me shiver. I didn’t know her, but I didn’t like her.
“Miss Lucas?” She arched a sharp eyebrow at me. Surprisingly, it didn’t cut through the harsh linear bangs that caged her forehead. “Is this true?”
No. No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t true and I wasn’t even supposed to be here.
“Yes.” I heard my lips utter the lie.
Breaking and entering, trespassing… what was a little lie on top of it all?
She huffed, clearly disappointed that Nick had done what she’d asked. “And who are you again? What are your credentials? Obviously, I cannot accept just anyone as taking responsibility for this child’s care, given the situation.”
What situation?
“I-I’m the manager of the Open Hearts Daycare. I have been for almost the past five years.” Each word entrenched me farther into the web I’d been caught in. At least, these words I could say confidently because they were true. “I have my undergraduate degree in early childhood education and I have my master’s in early childhood development.” Her impossibly sharp eyebrows looked like they were prepared to take off from her face. “I worked part-time at the daycare while I was getting my master’s,” I added in case she was questioning the timeline.
“I see.” Her black eyes looked me up and down, leaving a trail of tar behind them as she searched for an excuse to add the feathers.
“I’d be happy to email you my documentation, resumé, and references.” I was the picture of calm—except for my hands that gripped each other like my life depended on them holding the lies inside.
“Yes. That would be essential… Miss Lucas,” she sneered, sliding out her card from her purse. “I would like copies of all of your degrees, as well. One can never be too careful in this instance, especially when it comes to the welfare of a child.” Her serpent-like gaze slithered over to Nick like he was the treacherous one.
Whatever was going on, I’d made the right call.
‘The child’ had a name, I thought as my spine straightened. ‘The child’ was Lila Frost.
Whatever Nick was hiding, it only took that second of seeing him with his daughter to know that whatever it was, he was doing it to protect her. This woman, on the other hand, was out for blood.
‘The child’ was just her weapon to be able to draw it.
“I believe you have everything you need, Ms. Vane,” Nick clipped coldly, a blatant insinuation that she had no further reason for being there.
“For now,” she muttered haughtily. Her heels clicked on the marb
le as she turned back toward the door, showing herself out.
In that moment, I imagined that this house belonged to her. For some reason, it seemed more fitting: A careless queen for this elegantly cold charade.
Alone again, I turned to face Nick, the silence swelling with questions—so many questions—that he had no choice now but to answer.
I WAS AN OBJECT IN motion and a force to be reckoned with.
Pushing… fighting my way out of the life that I found myself in for a better life for Lila and me. I didn’t care what forces came against me—what Eliza tried to pull, what Child Services thought they could try to take me down with—I wasn’t stopping.
I locked the door after that morbid bitch walked out and turned to face the hole that I’d dug for myself—a hole that was clear through to China—with the way Tammy was staring at me.
I wanted to be mad that she was here—that she’d found out and that she’d come. I could only imagine what she thought of me now—the one thing I’d been trying to avoid. But at the same time, she’d just saved me even as I threatened to throw her out.
I’d tried to find a tutor on such short notice, but none could interview for at least another week—and from those, there were none that I’d felt one-hundred-percent comfortable with. I was going to lie. Well, I was going to lie differently. And pray that either my bullshit worked or that threats were sufficient enough for Vicious Vane to stop breathing down my neck for a few more days.
Miss Priss waltzed in here with her practically-braided hair, her rosy cheeks, and a hurt in her eyes that made me want to kiss her and suck it out of her like smoke. And, to top it all off, she hugged my daughter who hugged her back. The little girl who’d only just begun to let me hold her. I wanted to beg her to tell me how she got my daughter to hug her back; I’d do anything for that.
“Nick.” Everyone always called me ‘Frost.’ She didn’t care. She refused my coldness and called me ‘Nick’; And the way her lips moved when they said my name was like fucking foreplay. “What. Is. Going. On?”
“Fuck,” I swore, cursing myself again as she winced. “Come with me.”
I didn’t need to, but my hand gripped her wrist anyway and pulled her along behind me. I didn’t trust this house. I never knew who was watching or listening.
Tammy barely protested and then we were back in the guest house and I fought to keep the images of her—naked, legs spread in front of the fire—out of my mind.
You can’t have her.
Gritting my teeth, I dropped her hand like she was a class that I was flunking out of: Resisting Tamsin Lucas 101.
“I need you to tutor Lila. Part-time,” I said, stalking into the kitchen and grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge. No matter what shit just happened, tonight I’d promised to watch the new Minions movie with Lila; I didn’t drink on daddy-daughter days.
“Yeah,” she replied, her tone agitated. “I know that. I-I just lied about knowing about that.”
Of course, Miss Priss never lied. Just like she never fucked. Yet, both of these things she’d done—or wanted to do—with me.
“I can’t go through with it if you don’t explain. I won’t.”
I stepped closer to her, extending my hand with the water. “Not even if I swore to you that it was in Lila’s best interest?”
“Please,” she pleaded softly. “Please don’t make me do that.”
I looked for her soul—searched for it like it was the cure to my cancer. I wanted to know what made her so good, so strong. I wanted to know what kept her above everyone else in my mind. I wanted to know why it seemed like she was here to heal everything—my daughter, my life, and myself.
I hated to think that she saw me as broken, that this was just one more Frost fuck-up.
But Lila needed her, so my pride needed to fucking shove it. Maybe it could take my desire for Miss Priss along with it.
“Child Services thinks that I haven’t been taking appropriate care of my daughter,” I confided, every muscle in my body rippling with anger over the ridiculous notion.
“Why?” She unscrewed the cap and took a sip, consequently making my dick ache for equal treatment.
“Before I had Lila… right after my dad died… I had some issues with drugs and partying.”
“Nick, I went to high school with you. Maybe you don’t remember because I was one of the few who didn’t sleep with you, but I do know what you were involved in.”
I knew she had fire and fight buried somewhere deep beneath her crafted composure, and fuck if that’s not what called me to her: the hidden heat that I wanted to be scorched by.
“Yeah, well,” I retorted. “What you don’t know is that I was arrested and instead of facing jail time or having it go on my record, my wonderful mother came to an agreement with the judge that I would be put under a glorified house arrest. I don’t have an anklet or anything—not that kind of house arrest. I can still leave the place. The town. The state. But she and Stone have control over my funds, and to crushing my freedom and my ability to take care of my daughter in three months if I don’t stay close and behave.”
“What?” she breathed out the word, her eyes widening like I knew they would. So innocent, so shocked at how someone could be so destructive. I wondered if she would breathe out my name just as surprised when I put my dick inside of her.
No, because you’re not going to.
“The worst kind of shackles aren’t made of metal or technology. No, they come from holding hostage everything I need to start a new life for myself and my daughter somewhere else.” Tightening my jaw, I continued, “I don’t know exactly what their plan is—to take Lila from me, or to just have something to use against me in court to keep my—our—freedom from me… to keep my money…”
Three months. I didn’t care if they spent every dime that belonged to me in that time as long as when it was done, Lila and I were free.
“But, why…” A strand of hair fell in front of her face as she shook her head. “Who would do that? Why would anyone do that? I don’t understand.”
In the span of a second, I was in front of her, tucking that wayward hair back behind her ear. I felt the wrinkle in the air between us. Her body tightened and I knew she felt it, too: the need that ran like a current between us, lighting us up every time we got close.
“Because the world is cruel, Tammy. Because I made mistakes and there are those who think I haven’t paid enough for them yet.”
“Who?” she whispered, those big hazel eyes swelling like emotional wells I wished I could drink from.
Unlike Queen Elsa, who I was now well acquainted with thanks to Lila, Tammy wasn’t going to let this go.
“It doesn’t matter.” It didn’t matter because I didn’t trust anyone. She didn’t need to know about Eliza. She didn’t need to know about how, after the other day, I had a sneaking suspicion that Stone and my mother weren’t innocent and unaware of exactly what was going on. My mother’s ‘concern’ was just as false as her fancy-fucking-house.
“What matters is that for right now, I need Lila here and I need someone to tutor her or whatever the hell happens in preschool.” My fingers gripped her chin, tipping those perfect, pouty lips up to mine. “What matters is that you happened to be here when I needed someone and you happened to also fit the bill, Miss Priss. So, will you help her or not?”
The real question: will you help me?
I had a feeling that one would result in a much different answer.
“You really won’t tell me anything else?” she clarified, her eyes brewing with the need to know more.
It was the human condition, to always want to know more. But in my experience, knowing more left you vulnerable at best and hurt at worst; at some point, it’s just more comfortable living in the dark.
“I will if you tell me what drove you down off of your pedestal and into my house the other week,” I countered, rubbing my thumb over her lower lip, tempting myself with its softness. “I will if you tell
me what drove you to break all of your well-kept rules?” Each word brought my mouth closer to hers. “What drove you to beg me to taste you? To put my tongue and my dick inside of you and take what I’m sure you’re waiting to give to Prince Charming?”
She sucked in a breath and I’d never been so fucking jealous of air. It got buried so deep inside her, down where I wanted to be, the place where I wouldn’t have to leave.
She wanted this just as badly as I did. And it was even more reason why I shouldn’t.
I couldn’t have everything, but I could have this. Closing the distance to her mouth, I branded my lips against hers and kept her hostage. It wasn’t a kiss. It was a conquest.
I was the fucking King of this Cold Castle, living behind my fancy walls, wearing my crown of ice. And to make her understand exactly who had the final word, I held her head steady as my mouth carved my next words into her skin.
“No more questions,” I repeated back onto those same lips that had spoken them to me, forcing them to swallow their mandate.
When she jerked her head away just like she should have, I knew I’d won. I knew she wouldn’t trade her secrets for mine.
“What do I need to do?” her strangled voice asked. She wasn’t looking at me. I watched as she kept her gaze focused out the window that was half blocked by a giant ivy vine that had drooped. I refused to let the gardener cut them.
“Teach her. Whatever it is you do at the daycare, just do it here.”
She huffed, the simple sound teasing my arousal. “I understand that. But when? What days? Times? Am I going to have to quit my job? I mean—” She broke off with a strained laugh.
“Yes. Of course, you will be paid,” I answered her unfinished question first. “Whatever the daycare pays you, I’ll double it. Triple on weekends.”
“Weekends?”
“Is that a problem?” I raised an eyebrow. “Do you have a secret weekend boyfriend that you can’t get away from?”
“No,” she clipped and gave me her best scolding stare.
“I may not need you on weekends, but I just wanted to see what you’d say.” And now I knew that she was willing to give up her weekends for my daughter. Or for me. “I want you here every day. Just for a few hours—morning or afternoon, whichever you prefer—every day.”
In Too Deep (Winter Games Book 4) Page 9