by Stacy Borel
I was really disliking her more and more, but I was grateful she’d taken his attention away from me and that jump.
“What a bitch.”
I wasn’t paying attention to much except Wrigley, because I hadn’t heard Aurora coming either. Her face was disgusted and she had her lip curled.
“No, it’s fine,” I admitted.
“It really isn’t. He hasn’t paid her the least bit of attention, and here she comes swooping in all Wrigley come jump with me” She imitated Livi’s voice in an exaggerated, annoying tone.
“Okay, and he let her.” I pointed out.
Aurora shielded her eyes from the sun as she peered up the bridge to see them getting to the top. “And that’s what makes him a dense dickhead.”
That made me giggle. “Maybe, but I honestly don’t want to jump. I don’t mind being out here and relaxing on the boat or the beach, but being in the water isn’t my thing.”
She touched my shoulder and I peeked at her out of the corner of my eye. “It’s fine. I’ll let him pass on this one because you really mean it. But if this happens again, I’m pointing it out to him since you won’t.”
I nodded, not feeling like arguing. There really wasn’t anything to point out. If Wrigley didn’t want to be pulled away from me, he wouldn’t have allowed it. It’s not that I thought he was being a jerk or setting out to abandon me after carrying me over here, I just think he was wanting to do his thing and have fun. He enjoyed things like bridge jumping and swimming in murky water. And that was okay with me. I didn’t need someone’s attention or them to be by my side to feel content. I’d learned a long time ago to find comfort by myself.
After squeezing my arm reassuringly, Aurora went back to Bishop. I watched her and couldn’t help smiling as she flirted relentlessly. Faith and Livi hung around Wrigley, Austin, and Chris as they took turns trying some new jumps off the bridge. Every time Wrigley went, he would swim up to the shore and pass me, shaking his his head like a wet dog so drops of water would fly at me. I’d laugh and cover my face. But I spent the rest of the day, sun bathing out of the water. It was time to go when the tide was coming in and water was lapping at my feet.
I got back on the boat by myself this time. While I had a mild panic attack that I kept to myself, I didn’t feel like being the damsel in distress and expect Wrigley to swim me back to safety. Instead, I held my breath and doggy paddled like a son of a bitch until I reached the ladder. The guys chuckled at me because my swimming looked more like flailing, but Wrigley didn’t step in to help. He knew better.
Once on the boat, all of us seemed drained from the sun. We sat in the same spots as before, with the exception of Austin, who now drove, and Chris sat up front. On the back of the boat, I propped my legs up and wrapped my towel around me to block the wind. I could have fallen asleep but Wrigley sat so close, he kept me awake. While we didn’t speak, his shoulder was brushing against mine with every bump and turn. Livi kept a close eye on us and, if looks could kill, I’m pretty sure I’d be a puddle of mush she’d toss over the side of the boat. I did my best to ignore her.
When we got back, Livi and Faith waved bye to the boys and mentioned that they’d be seeing them later that evening. A pang of jealousy hit me at the idea of them showing up at Wrigley’s place and casually hanging out. I didn’t know what it was like to just hang out. I’d never went to someone’s place to just sit, watch movies and eat pizza. I’d been asked once by a new girl who’d lived a couple blocks away, but she quickly learned how awkward I was with people and that I wasn’t part of the crowd she sought after to mix with. It also wasn’t missed by me that Livi and Faith didn’t bother saying goodbye to Aurora or me. It was evident, after today, that there would be no budding friendship and getting to know each other sleepovers. I frowned.
“Hey, what’s the face for?” Wrigley asked, holding his hand out to help me off the boat.
“Hmmm?”
“You’re kind of pouting.” He gave me a sideways grin. “While it’s very cute, I wanna know what caused it.”
I almost stumbled as I made the large step from floating object to hard cement. He gripped my hand tighter. He’d just called me cute. Well, not me, but I guess my pouty lip, which I didn’t even know I had.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged, trying to blow him off. “I’m just tired I guess.”
He raised a brow. “That’s a lie, but I’ll let it slide.”
Stop paying attention to me like that, I scolded him in my head.
Aurora sidled up beside me and cleared her throat. “We ready to go? I need to shower before I meet up with Bishop later.”
“You’re going on a date?” I asked.
She flung her hand in front of me. “Don’t sound so formal, Hadley. We’re meeting up for a movie.”
“Sounds like a date to me,” I mumbled.
“It’s a date,” Wrigley laughed, agreeing with me.
“Ugh, gross.” Aurora blew us both off.
Wrigley grabbed Aurora’s bag from her shoulder and started walking towards the Jeep. “Is he paying for you?”
“I don’t know.”
“I know my man. And Bishop isn’t going to let you pay your own way. Therefore, it’s not gross, it’s a date. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“See.” I bumped her with my shoulder. “Apparently, what Wrigley says is golden.”
He gave me a sideways glance. “Why do you say that?”
Open mouth, insert foot syndrome. “Oh, just that the girls today, they’d hold on to your every word. It’s just like high school all over again.” I tried my hardest to make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal. It really wasn’t, but it could have sounded like I was jealous.
“No, they didn’t.”
Aurora stepped in to defend what I was saying. “Livi would lick your feet if you asked her to. And because you blow her off, you’re more of a challenge for her.”
He shook his head. “You’re both crazy.”
I had nothing else to add. I’d already said enough, and like Aurora, I just wanted to get back to our room so I could shower, get into pajama pants, and start my school work for the next week. We got to the car, and the ride back was quiet. Wrigley had country music on low, but that was the only sound besides the wheels on the road. When we got to the parking lot, Aurora jumped out and thanked Wrigley for inviting us. She disappeared inside, and I turned to look at him.
I felt awkward. “What she said. Thanks for asking us to come. Something a little different for my Saturday.”
He stood on the other side of his Jeep, driver’s side door open. “No problem. Hope you had fun.”
“I did.” I wrung my hands in front of myself.
“Just like last time, Hadley. Keep your phone near you. I’ll text you.” He winked and climbed in.
I took a step back and tried not to stumble. Okay then. Another promise of communication. Lordy, what did I do with this sensory overload. Swallowing hard, I gathered myself and went inside.
Chapter Seven
WRIGLEY DID TEXT ME later that night. He wanted to know what movie he should watch, Logan or the last Fast and the Furious. I truly didn’t want to pick. I knew whatever movie I chose; he would be watching with Livi. I couldn’t give away that I even cared so I told him to go with Logan, which was probably the least likely that Livi would enjoy. He said it was a good choice and one he’d wanted to see. I got the impression he may have wanted to ask me to come watch with them, but, for whatever reason, he hesitated. He kept the conversation going for a little while, but eventually said goodnight.
I went to bed that night feeling bitter, with a pint of ice cream sitting in my stomach. Wrigley being around me was throwing my emotions all over the board. It was like life wanted to screw with me and see how I could handle the only crush I’d ever had and see how I dealt with it. Here’s a game of Monopoly, Hadley. Wrigley is Park Place and you can’t afford him. You can’t pass GO, and no collecting two hundred dollars.
&
nbsp; I was invested no matter what I told myself. I got a thrill when I heard my phone go off and it was a text from him. I liked the feel of his touch as he’d carried me out of the water. I liked that he was making the effort to be my friend. These were all feelings I didn’t want to allow, but they were creeping in without my permission. And I oddly wanted to see where this was going. The one thing I couldn’t shut off was the attraction.
***
My weekend dragged, and so had the following week. When I’d seen him in our poli-sci class, he wasn’t as chatty as normal. The girl, Ryian, seemed to have his attention and I did my best to grit my teeth and walk out at the end of class. It was annoying that my emotions were being toyed with. What was worse was that he didn’t seem to realize he was doing it. I wish I could say his playful winks and sideways grins were special, just for me, but Wrigley was the type of guy who was flirty. Not with just females but with males too. And not in any kind of attraction kind of way, he was just extremely friendly with everyone. So any extra thing he did to me, I knew he would do for anyone else. There was, honestly, no way for me to tell if he ever had feelings towards me.
I was getting into a routine as the semester wore on. Early morning classes, stopping at the coffee cart, gym time three days a week, studying; wash, rinse, repeat. Repetition was good. I liked it. It made me feel accomplished and normal. Wrigley was the only abnormal part of my day. As per usual, there was a ding from my phone a few minutes before ten p.m. and I was about to close my books and head to bed.
Wrigley: What r u up too?
Me: What do u think?
Wrigley: You’re such a book nerd.
Me: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Wrigley: Nah. I don’t insult my bestie.
Me: Ha ha...Lame.
Wrigley: You about to go to sleep?
Me: Yeah, why?
Wrigley: I can always count on you to be like clockwork
Me: That’s me. Accountable. I frowned as I stared at the text. Was I ever rebellious?
Wrigley: You make it sound like a bad thing.
Me: I guess.
Wrigley: Hey, seriously, it wasn’t an insult.
Me: Ok.
Wrigley: You ok?
No reason to pout like a child because he’d said something true, even if I didn’t like it. Just go with the flow, Hadley.
Me: Totally good.
Wrigley: Ok, well, I was going to ask if you wanted 2 come over this weekend and hang out. Pizza night.
I trill of panic flooded through me. I didn’t know what he meant by the invite. Was it me going over to his house to eat and chill? Or was the Hulu and chill? I didn’t freaking know. I just knew I was being invited over to his place and this was epic for me. Play it cool.
Me: Let me check my schedule.
Let me check my schedule? What are you, fifty?
Wrigley: lol. Hadley, ur free. I know u. Be here by 7.
Me: You know nothing. I could have major plans... I bit my lip as I read my text and then added quickly, or a date.
There was a long pause. So long, I checked the time between texts; it was coming up on five minutes before it pinged again.
Wrigley: So do u have a date?
Me: No, of course not
And now I sounded desperate. Like I never went on dates. Or even got asked for that matter. Flipping great, Hadley. Just keep sounding like the pathetic loser. I swallowed and looked around my room for a bottle of water. This conversation was making my head hurt.
Wrigley: K then be here at 7. Night!
There was no sense in me even responding. I wouldn’t protest because I didn’t want too. I wanted to go. And I felt like the bigger person leaving him hanging without saying goodnight back. I was definitely too cool for that. Now you sound like a twelve-year-old texting. I needed to set my phone down and go to sleep.
I lay there awake for a good hour wondering what pizza at his house would entail. My brain came up with every possible scenario. It ranged from sitting on his couch, watching movies and eating pizza, to pizza and a heavy make out session where I promptly ended it before it gets to out of control. The last part I allowed myself to think about just to satiate my wild desires and put them to rest. It wasn’t going to happen. For now, sleep was all I could muster, and I’d have to wait two more days to actually find out what our pizza night would look like.
I was officially in panic mode. When I woke up the next morning, I moved through the motions of my routine but I didn’t hear a single word my professor said. It was math and something to do with variables but it went in one ear and out of the other. I sat there wondering what was going to happen Friday. My political science class was two days a week, and I still had one more class tomorrow, which would involve me seeing him prior to going to his place.
I made the decision I wasn’t going to go seconds before the class. I felt a pang of guilt about skipping my first college class. I felt like I was going to hell for it or worse, that I’d fail and my parents would be called and told I was being kicked out. Okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but skipping felt like the worst thing I could do as a college student. Drastic times called for drastic measures. I had to come up with a plan of action. I had no idea if tonight was a date, something super casual and he was inviting a ton of people over as well, or if he was still doing things to prove his friendship. The best person I could ask was none other than my roommate; I had zero experience in these mattes and she could lead me in the right direction. Besides, she was officially seeing Bishop now. I had to admit, they made a super cute couple.
When I got back from class, I found her outside in a pair of shorts, and a bikini top, sunbathing while guys walked by with gaping mouths. I had a feeling she wasn’t even aware of the stares. Or, more likely, she didn’t really care. It was the middle of October and while most other states were just beginning to bundle up and deal with cooler weather, southern Louisiana was still hot and humid. For a girl from the north, she was soaking this up.
As I approached her, she looked up from the book she was reading. It was some romance novel. A guy with long hair blowing in the wind and on his knees while he looked up at some seductress, who’s thigh he was gripping. I blinked. Maybe I should be reading trash novels and take notes.
“What’s up, Buttercup?”
That relaxed nerves I hadn’t realized were tense. “Hey. How’s the sun?”
“Erm… hot.” She giggled at my awkwardness. “How’s class?”
I sighed and plopped down on the grass next to her. “I don’t know. I barely paid attention.”
She set her book down. “Oh man, this sounds serious. Studious Hadley couldn’t pay attention. What’s going on?”
She teased, but I knew once I told her, she would jump into action. “Well, I got a text two days ago.”
“Wrigley.”
“Mhmm. I’m not sure what to think about it.”
“What about it?”
“He told me to come over and have some pizza.”
She stared at me blankly. “Okay… and?”
I looked her straight in the eyes. “And? And what does that mean?” Where was my roommate who would be circling me like a shark by now saying we needed to prepare?
“It means he wants you to come over for pizza. What is it supposed to mean?”
I sighed. I guess I really was looking too far into it.
“Let me see the texts.” She held her hand out. “It depends on the tone of his texts, I guess.”
I dug into my back pocket and pulled out my phone. Opening to his texts, I watched as her eyes scanned the screen.
“Hmmm, now that’s interesting.”
“What?”
“This part right here.” She pointed. “Why did he wait to respond?”
“You noticed that too?”
“Yeah, I was curious about the times. Was he pausing because you might have a date and he wasn’t okay with that, or was he pausing because he was busy doing something? Seems weird to me.�
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Her dissecting my text messages was making me antsy. At least I wasn’t the only one who noticed. But did it honestly matter? At this point, I’d rather grab my phone and go upstairs. I really needed to sit down and try to learn what I missed being off in La La Land in algebra. Even a bath sounded good right about now.
“Well, no sense in getting overly excited.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself by saying that. How about we play it safe?”
“Meaning....”
She rolled her eyes like I was missing the obvious. “I mean, dress nice but not overly dressed. Light make up will seem casual but good for any circumstance, and I can put soft waves in your hair, but make it look like it wasn’t done just for you going over there.” She flipped her wrist up with my phone on her palm. “And wah-lah, there’s your solution.”
I hadn’t even thought about what I was going to wear. This was all too much detail. I’d never been on a date before so I didn’t know what it entailed besides what I’d seen when my mom would get ready to go out with my dad. And, of course, what I’d seen from Aurora since she’d started dating Bishop.
Unlike my mom, she was a bit more strategic about what she wore. She wanted to impress Bishop but still be herself. I wish some things were instinctive or something I wished I’d had experience with it, but I hadn’t. I’d never been on a date. I’d never even kissed a boy. And that one time in kindergarten when I kissed a boy on the cheek as a dare didn’t count. It wasn’t even comparable. All of this was new.
“You make it seem so easy.” I looked down at my hands, discouraged.
She did what my mom would’ve done if she’d seen me looking like this. She brushed a few strands of hair out of my face and said, “Because it is. Overthinking is what kills things. Hadley, you’re beautiful, you do know that, right?”
I wasn’t her, or Claire, or Natalie from high school. But I didn’t think I was ugly. “Sure.”
“Be brave, hold your head high, and demand that people see you for who you are. That doesn’t mean you have to storm into a room and be loud and crazy. It means, you wear who you are proudly. When you do that, they’ll take notice.” She paused and smiled. “And by they, I mean guys. You act like the quiet wallflower that doesn’t want to be noticed, you won’t be. We all put out vibes, no matter what we look like or how we are dressed. If you want to be seen and you feel good about you, he will see it.”