“That’s right, bitch. Envy me, because I’m not thinking about you,” I said aloud in a low tone while wondering if I would ever see Carmello again.
Chapter 7
Get Your Head out of Them Clouds and Wacth Over Your Shit
When I woke up the next morning, my head was pounding. I remembered Tay being so upset the night before, but things were hazy. He had even told me that I fucked up his show. I remembered getting to the hotel and him pushing me on the bed and ripping off my shorts like some kind of madman. He had pushed himself inside me with no lube and had started to call me all types of names. When I’d told tell him to get some lube, he just spit on his dick and fucked me even harder. The last thing I remembered before passing out from the pain he was inflicting on my ass was Tony and Carl. They had stood in the doorway, watching as Tay yelled at me, telling me not to ever disrespect him.
It was only eleven o’clock in the morning, and my body was sore as hell. I didn’t even feel like getting out of bed. Carl came into the bedroom with hot coffee and looked at me as if I was a wet, homeless dog. I didn’t need him feeling sorry for me, nor did I want to hear any of his bullshit, so I got up and headed to the bathroom. My ass felt like Tay had ripped it open. Even my pussy was sore. As I walked, my legs trembled.
Carl came over to help me walk because I just couldn’t hold my emotions in anymore. Tears ran down my face from the pain. Once I got in front of the mirror and saw myself, that was when I really lost it. I had love marks, bite marks, and a whole bunch of other bruises all over my body.
Carl gave me a sympathetic look. “Tangie, come and sit down. Just don’t look at yourself.”
“What in the fuck happened to me, Carl? Tell me, what did Tay’von do to me?” I yelled as I pulled off my shirt. I was stunned at the marks on my body. I looked like shit. There were even places where Tay had drawn blood.
Carl wrapped his arms around me as I continued to cry. “Tell me, Carl, why did Tay do this, and why would you just stand there and watch him do this to me?”
“I tried to stop him, Tangie, but he was crazy. No matter what Tony or I did, he just wouldn’t stop. But I really don’t think that he was in his right mind. Tony told me that he saw Tay and Shamika smoking and that it smelled like it was laced.”
I didn’t give a shit what Tay had been smoking. I was still hurt and pissed that he would do this to me, high or not. I swore that bitch Shamika was going to get hers, no matter what.
Carl sat me down and drew a hot bath for me. He went to his room and got this oil, which he rubbed all over my body. He then sat me in the tub and told me that it would help with the pain. With the massage, the hot water, and the oil Carl had rubbed on me, I felt halfway better by the end of my bath. While I was drying off, Carl told me that if I felt worse by nightfall, he would take me to the hospital. Every time that I asked him if he knew where Tay was, he made this funny face, then said that he didn’t know. He put me back in bed after having the sheets changed, then told me that he was going to order up some food for me. But first I asked him to roll up some smoke for me.
“Tangie, have you ever thought of cutting down on all the drugs that you do?”
I thought for a second or two before I answered. “Well, to tell you the truth, Carl, after last night I really am happy that I do, do drugs. I know that it makes it sound like I am dependent on them, but sometimes I am.”
“Come on, Tangie, I am being for real. Don’t you think that if Tay wasn’t smoking last night, maybe he wouldn’t have done this to you? And you know that I am not just talking about weed, Tangie. What about all that powder you’re putting up your nose? It seems like you’re doing more and more every day.”
What Carl was saying was right. With all that had been going on, I hadn’t really taken the time to stand back and realize how deep I had fallen into coke.
“Okay, Carl, I do need to cut down on sniffing coke, but I don’t think that I’m just going to stop smoking anytime soon.”
“Okay, fine. I just don’t want you sniffing that shit all day.”
I smiled to myself as I watched him roll up a blunt for me. He really was a sweet man. It was good that we could sit and have a conversation without going at each other, like we usually did. I loved that he took the time to care for me.
* * *
“Tangie, Tangie, are you up?”
I thought that I was dreaming. I heard Tay’s voice, but it sounded far away. Then I felt a warm body beside me and a warm hand running through my hair. But I lay still, and I didn’t look or say a word.
“Baby, are you okay?”
Still, I didn’t answer. I didn’t even want to open my eyes.
“Tangie, please. I just need to talk to you.”
I opened my eyes and took a quick look, but I didn’t utter one word. He looked a mess. His eyes were bloodshot, and I could tell that he hadn’t been to sleep yet. I turned around so that I was looking right into his eyes, but he said nothing. I wished he would open his fucking mouth and tell me what the hell he had done to me the night before.
“Look, baby, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t even know what I had done until I woke up this morning and looked over at you.”
I sat up so that I could pay more attention to what he had to say.
“Tangie, I know that you are pissed right now, and I know that you are waiting for an explanation, but I’m still trying to put everything together myself. I just remember getting offstage and going to my dressing room. Shamika came in and asked me if I was trying to smoke with her. The next thing I know, I wake up this morning on the floor next to the bed. When I stood up and looked at you, I panicked and called Tony and Carl. When they got up here, I asked them what happened, and they looked at me like I had lost my mind.”
“So what did they tell you?”
“They just went over what they saw.”
“Just tell me this, Tay’von. Why did you do this to me? I know that you’re saying that everything is a blur and all, but something had to tick you off.”
“Baby, I’m telling you. All I remember is that I was smoking with Shamika, and we were talking about what went down between you and Carmello—”
I cut him off once I heard that. “So what did Shamika have to say about it?”
“What do you mean? It was nothing, really.”
Tay must have heard the anger in my voice, because he started to back down. I wanted him to tell me if that bitch had anything more to do with last night besides giving him some laced shit to smoke. If I found out that she did, I was going to fuck her whole world up with the biggest dick she would ever come across. I was no killer, but the line between sane and homicidal was very thin when it came to me. That bitch had no idea who she was dealing with. I had been violated in my teens and had vowed never to have that happen again. And if it did, I would make whoever was responsible pay dearly.
“She was just saying shit like what you did was fucked up, and even if you didn’t know who Carmello was, you shouldn’t have had him in my dressing room.”
So that bitch is playing those types of games, huh? I thought. Even with Tay spilling his guts to me, I could still tell that he was holding something back.
“So is that all she had to say to you?” I barked.
He looked like he didn’t want to tell me, but he knew that I would just keep on asking until he did.
“Well, she saw how heated I was, so she started telling me that I should whup your ass and how I shouldn’t let you get away with anything.”
“So you mean to tell me that you did this to me because Shamika told you to? What kind of shit is that? Who the fuck is she to you? She must be something to you if you’re doing what she tells you to do. I can’t believe this. You have got to be out of your fucking mind! You’re so fucking lame, Tay’von. Because Shamika told you to? What are you? Some little boy?”
“Nah, it’s not like that, Tangie. Yeah, okay, that bitch was getting me hyped, but she didn’t get me to the point where I w
ould do something like this to you. It wasn’t until I talked to Tony that I found out that the weed was laced.”
I didn’t know what to say. Everything that Tay’von was saying to me meant nothing unless he remembered what he had done to me.
“You say that you don’t remember what happened last night? Well, I do. Before I passed out from the pain that you caused me, I remember having my ass in the air and you forcing your dick into it with no lube. I remember trying to pull away from you, but you held on to me tightly, making sure that I couldn’t get away. I remember begging you to use lube, but judging by how my ass feels, you never did.”
Tay had a look of terror on his face. Yes, there were times when he could be mean, but this sounded like rape to him, and he would never rape anyone. I stood up and pulled off my clothes. I stood in front of him naked so that he could see what he had done to me.
I wanted him to see every bite mark, every scratch, and every bruise that he had put on me. As he looked over my body, he started to cry, but I just stood there, pissed. The more I looked at myself, the more I wanted to hate him, and my face showed it. He did this to me because of what Shamika had said? Boy, would she pay for hyping him up to harm me. The last man who had taken my body by force was still alive, and well, but I couldn’t get to him. Shamika would have to pay for both his and her sins against me. Tay’von wrapped his arms around me and put his head against my stomach.
“Tangie, please, forgive me. You know that I would never do something like this to you unless I was far gone on that laced weed. I would never do anything like this if I was clearheaded. Please, Tangie . . . I am so sorry, baby.” The more he talked, the more he cried.
I didn’t say anything.
“Tangie, please don’t leave me, baby. I love you, and I swear to God that I’m sorry, baby. I am so sorry.”
Tay’von held me tight. I was pissed as hell, but something was very wrong with this situation. How did you leave a man who couldn’t even remember what he had done to you? At least now I knew the devil that I was with, the devil he could become at any moment.
I stayed in the hotel suite for the next two days, not wanting anyone to see me like this. I steered clear of nearly everyone. Tay’von asked me to go to the last show that they were having in Maryland, but I told him that I didn’t have anything to wear that would cover up all the marks on my body. He told me that it would be the perfect time to go shopping with Shamika. I was about to say no, but shopping with her would give me a chance to interrogate her. I got ready as Tay called Black and told him to make sure Shamika was ready by one.
* * *
I did the best I could with the clothes that I had there with me at the hotel. The only thing that you could really see was the bite mark on my thigh and the bruise on my right shoulder. Black and Shamika came up twenty minutes early, and as always, Shamika looked a mess. She had traded in the black and pink wig for the red one she used to wear. I sat on the couch, smoking a jay, trying to conceal the disgust I felt toward her.
“How are you doing, Shamika? You want a hit? Maybe not, being that it’s not laced with anything.” I tried to sound friendly, but my words were dripping with malice.
She looked at Black, then back at me. “Girl, what are you talking about? I don’t do nothing but weed,” she answered with a nervous giggle. She took the blunt from me and sucked half of it in. I was the only one who had caught the look that Black gave her when I made my comment.
“Are you ready to go?” she asked after exhaling, seeming as if she was dying to leave now that I had made her uncomfortable.
I smiled, stood up, put on my sunglasses, and walked over to Black. I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek before walking out of the suite.
We shopped at CityCenterDC, and our first stop was at Bvlgari, so I could pick up one of my favorite perfumes. Five stores later I was exhausted from not only picking out my clothes, but also picking out all of hers. Given that I hadn’t eaten anything for breakfast, I asked her if she wanted to stop and get some lunch. She said yes, so we headed to CityZen in the Mandarin Oriental Washington hotel in Washington, D.C.
We ordered our lunch and waited for the waitress to come back with our DC Apples. The drink had just enough vodka for you to feel it, but not enough to make you drunk, if you paced yourself. It was the perfect drink to loosen her up with. I put my napkin on my lap as Shamika opened up her big fucking mouth.
“Girl, where you get that bite mark from?”
I wanted to give her the Tony treatment by slapping her ass, but I held back. “Before I answer that, let me ask you this. Back at the hotel you said that all you smoke is weed. Well, how come last night you smoked a dippa with Tay? What’s up with that shit?”
She sipped her drink and sat back in her chair before answering me.
“Come on, Tangie, you know that I can’t let Black know that I still get wet from time to time. He would kick my ass if he found that shit out. Hell, as mad as he’s been lately, I just try to fly under the radar with his ass.”
“Why has he been so grumpy?”
“What, you didn’t hear? The label might be letting him go. They said something about him bringing bad promotion to the label.”
“I thought that his album was doing well. It’s in the top five right now, isn’t it? And how do you bring bad promotion to a label?”
“Damn, Tangie. You don’t know shit, do you? Well, two months ago, Black got caught up with some drugs and guns. He thought that the label would stand behind him, but you know how those crackers get. Everything is okay when you’re making money for them, but once you do something that can fuck that up, they start acting funny.”
“Damn. He really does have a reason to be pissed. I would be too.”
She took another sip of her drink and said, “Well, he should have calmed his ass down. He started doing interviews, just so he could talk shit about them. Every chance he got, he blasted them for not standing up for him, and you know that they didn’t like that shit. So it’s not really out there yet, but people have been talking about it here and there. We’re just waiting to hear for ourselves.”
I wanted to smile, but then again, I felt sorry for Black.
“So if he gets dropped, what will he do?” I asked, hoping that she didn’t have an answer.
“I just don’t know. I’m sure he’ll find another label, but you know that once a rapper gets dropped from a major label, all the other good ones are gonna think twice about taking you in. They all know that he sells records, but they are gonna be worried about him getting into trouble again.”
“Well, I have a friend who deals with a lot of record executives. Maybe I can call and get some info, just in case something goes down.”
Her eyes were popping out of her head. I knew that this would have her open. “Girl, call now. I don’t want to wait till he gets dropped to make a move.”
“I can’t have them make an offer without knowing if he’s a free agent or not. You know how word spreads, and the last thing Black needs is for the record label to find out that he’s trying to get signed by someone else. Let’s wait it out, and as soon as the ball drops, I’ll make sure that someone is there to pick it up for you. Do you trust me on this?”
She thought about it and still wanted me to act on it now, but then again, I did make a valid point, so she calmed down and sipped her drink.
“Yeah, girl, I trust you. I know that you’re going to have my back.”
“I always look out for my friends, Shamika, and if I tell you that I got you, then I got you. I’m already thinking of a guy who I heard has been signing all the major rappers, so I’ll even get at him for you.”
She didn’t stop smiling for the rest of our lunch, and I was beaming inside. I may have stretched the truth a little bit, but this was all falling into place. I didn’t want her to know who I was talking about, but if she was smart, she would already know. Thank God for dumb people. They make things like this too easy.
As we were get
ting up to leave, she said, “Well, as soon as I hear something, I’ll let you know so you can start making them phone calls, but don’t tell Tay that we had this conversation. I don’t want it getting back to Black and having him think that I just tell all his shit to everybody.”
“Don’t worry about it, Shamika. I’m always on top of my game.”
* * *
After lunch Shamika and I headed back to the hotel. In the lobby, we parted ways. When I got up to my suite, everyone was gone except for Black and Carl. He must have read the look on my face, because Black gave an explanation without me even asking for one.
“Hey, Tangie. I was just waiting for Shamika. Tay said to tell you that he’ll see you at the show tonight.”
“And where in the fuck is Tay?” I quizzed.
Black and Carl looked at each other, but no one said anything. Well, I knew what that meant. Fuck him. I put my bags down and asked Carl to take them in the bedroom for me. While he was in there, I sat next to Black and told him that I had to talk to him. I waited for Carl to come back out, and I asked him to leave us alone. As soon as Carl walked out and closed the door, I went to work. I handed Black some weed and blunts and told him to roll a fat one. I spoke to him as I waited for him to finish.
“So, what’s the deal with you and Shamika?”
I already knew their story, but I needed an intro. He finished rolling the first blunt and ran down the same story Tay had told me.
“Did she give you a hard time today?” Black asked, already knowing the response he was about to get.
“Nah, she was cool. Just a little ghetto, that’s all.”
I smiled, but this was no game. I wanted to put my thoughts into his head, and I was going to make sure that they stuck there.
“Yeah, tell me about it. That’s why I told Tay to ask you to hang out with her. Maybe you’ll rub off on her.”
“Can I be real with you for a second, Black? I mean, I don’t want you getting mad if I say something about Shamika that you don’t like. And I want this conversation to stay between us.”
The Art of Deceit Page 8