She walked out of the suite, and that was the last of Miss Thick. Tay’von was out for the rest of the night. And as for me, I just blazed and watched movies in the living room area until I fell asleep. I wondered if Miss Thick went home halfway pissed but still excited that she had got to fuck the star of her dreams. She and Tay had both got what they wanted, and now I just hoped that all my desires were within reach.
“Tangie, go to bed,” Tay said as he tried to wake me up.
“What time is it?” I said, barely awake.
“It’s ten in the morning.”
I sat up and looked around. I must have passed out on the couch.
“Are you going to bed, or are you going to stay up and have some coffee?” he asked.
“Coffee.”
He walked over to the coffeemaker and poured me a cup. I rolled my eyes at him when he came back over to the couch and handed me the cup.
“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the couch,” Tay said while smiling.
“Why don’t you just shut the fuck up!” I yelled as he laughed at me.
He already knew the deal. I had always been a tad bit nasty in the mornings, so it didn’t bother him much. He was used to it.
“I wonder how someone who looks so good could act so ugly?” he said.
He was just trying to piss me off, so I didn’t answer him. But if he wanted to play these games, I knew just how to get him.
“I want to go shopping.”
“You just went shopping the other day, Tangie. What is it that you need now?”
I smiled, and he caught on to what I was doing.
“Fine. You can go shopping, but you have to take Shamika.” Now he was really laughing.
I just got up and went into the bathroom. I took a shower and got dressed. When I was done, Carl and Tony were in the living room area, listening to Tay go on about the night that he had had. Carl was trying to act like he was all into it, but I read his true feelings as soon as I joined them. I sat and listened to them as I smoked a blunt.
Tay shook his head. “Damn, Tangie. How about eating something first?”
“I know you’re not talking, Tay’von. You wake up with a blunt in your mouth. Anyways, I’m going to have some breakfast downstairs.”
I stood up and grabbed my purse. Tay’von stood up and gave me a long kiss. It had been so strained between us for the past week that I just didn’t know how to take his show of affection. I wanted him to take me into the bedroom and give me some of the good dick that he had given to Miss Thick, but I knew that he wouldn’t. Instead, he walked me to the door.
“Hey, Tangie, I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” he said in a low voice. “I know that I have been standoffish, and I have been feeling really bad about it. I just can’t get over what went down. I have never had a night where I didn’t remember anything. I just want you to know that I love you, baby. Now, I know that I really didn’t want you to come on tour with me at first, but I have really enjoyed you being here.”
He pulled me close and hugged me for a long time. I hugged him back. I knew that he really meant what he had said. I knew that he truly loved me, but I just didn’t know where this love would take us. I didn’t know why I just couldn’t let love be. It was like I could love only the things people did for me or gave me. I had to get it together and find a way to accept it when people really loved me.
* * *
On my way down to breakfast, I stopped and asked Shamika if she wanted to go shopping. She said no but came down to eat with me. Once we got to the hotel restaurant, we saw Amira leaving. But she stopped to say hi.
“So what’s good to eat?” I asked her.
She told us that all she had had was coffee, so she didn’t know. Shamika and I just stood there looking at her as she looked me up and down. I started to blush and wished that Shamika wasn’t standing next to me. Her comments before about Amira had let me know that she was too interested in her lesbian lifestyle. I knew that she would have something to say the minute Amira walked away, and honestly, I just wanted to enjoy that moment with Amira and not think about the bullshit that would follow.
“Well, I’m going to head back up to my room,” Amira said before getting closer to me and whispering, “Damn, you’re looking good. I hope you look this eatable tonight.” Then she just walked away, as if everything was normal.
I stood there, wanting to turn around and watch her walk away, but I knew that Shamika was standing beside me. If she caught me staring at Amira’s ass, she was sure to make a big deal out of it.
“You two seem to be getting close. You better watch out, Tangie. That bitch is a dyke. I just know it.”
“Oh, give it up, Shamika. Who cares what she is? She’s just being friendly,” I said as I walked to a table.
She could tell that I was agitated and tried to make light of her comments. “Girl, I was just saying, she always acts like she don’t like men. Hell, I haven’t seen her with one. And I don’t think that she likes me, anyways, so I can say whatever the hell I want.”
I wanted to tell Shamika that Amira didn’t like her, because she was so cold toward her anytime she came around, but I let it go.
“Did you ever call your friend about Black?” Shamika asked once we were seated.
Damn. I hadn’t even realized that with everything that was going on, I had gotten off track with what I had planned for Miss Shamika.
“Girl, don’t even worry about it. You know I got you, and when the ball starts rolling for you and Black, trust me, you’ll know it,” I answered her without a second thought.
We ate our breakfast; then she headed upstairs. I headed to the lobby and told the limo driver to take me to the best shops in Philly.
I shopped hard and got back to the hotel around four in the afternoon, and the bellboy helped me with my bags. When we got up to the suite, I heard some laughter coming from the bedroom. I shushed the bellboy and handed him a fifty-dollar tip. He left quietly, and I made my way to the bedroom without making a sound. As soon as I got close enough to hear everything, I knew exactly who was in the bedroom with Tay.
“Come on, tell me, how much are you pulling in a year?”
I could hear Tay’von laughing at the person’s question.
“Why do you want to know? I’m sure your man is making some good money.”
“Yeah, but he isn’t Mr. Too Fine. I see how everyone treats you like you’re a king, and my man doesn’t get that. Just tell me how much you make.”
I heard movement in the room. Then Tay laughed and said, “You better stop before Tangie comes in here and hears you. You know she’ll whup your ass.”
“Please, I’m from the hood. I ain’t all prissy with my shit like she is. I’ll whup her ass before she whups mine.”
“Is that right? Well, just because Tangie is proper and all doesn’t mean that she isn’t nice with the hands. Don’t sleep on her. I don’t even play fight with her anymore, ’cause she gets too wild and tries to kill me.”
Now I heard the person laugh along with Tay.
“Man, fuck Tangie. When are you gonna let me get some of that good shit? I bet Tangie can’t get down like I can. I’m not one of them bitches who just lie there and take the dick. I’m going to give it back to you.”
“Stop playing around. You know that I don’t even get down like that. Plus, with Tangie on tour with me, I’m not even trying to do nothing crazy and have her go off on me,” I heard Tay’von answer halfway truthfully.
I just couldn’t believe this shit. This was the last person that I would ever think would come at Tay’von like this.
“Come on, Tay. Let me get just a little taste. What, you some kind of bitch or something?”
At first, I didn’t hear anything. Then I heard a bang, like someone had been pushed against a wall.
“You’re the bitch, and I’m sure you know that. Did you really think that calling me a bitch, nigga, was going to make me fuck you? Hell, having sex with you would make me less tha
n any man that I know. I’m not going to fuck you just to prove something.”
“Come on, Tay, let go of my neck. I really can’t breathe,” the person said, straining to get the words out.
“The next time you think about testing me, you better think again. Now, get your fucking ass out of here. And if you ever try some shit like this again, you will be off this tour and out of a job.”
“But, Tay, I was just—”
That was all I heard. I walked back to the door, opened and closed it to make it sound like I was just getting in. I heard the bedroom door fly open, so that it would appear like it had never been closed.
“Baby, I’m back,” I yelled as I tried to keep my nice face on. I didn’t want them to think that I had heard anything.
Tay came walking out of the bedroom quickly. “Hey, baby, how was shopping? Did you get everything that you need?” Tay was talking a mile a minute.
Then the backstabbing bitch came out second. “Hey, Tangie. I just came up to see if Tay had any smoke. Did you enjoy your shopping?”
I looked at them and held my tongue. “So where’s the smoke that you came up for? Did Tay have any?” I asked her.
They both looked at one another, but no one answered.
I broke the silence. “I know that when I left this morning, we had a big bag. Did you get some?”
Tay’von stumbled to find the right words. “I, um, I, I couldn’t remember where I put the bag.” He chuckled nervously.
I looked over at the coffee table, and the bag was sitting on it in plain view. I didn’t say anything. I just walked over to the couch and sat in front of the bag of weed. Without even looking at them, I started to roll up a jay. After rolling it, I lit it and took a deep pull. There was no need for me to say anything. I knew that they knew what I was thinking when they looked at each other with a “Do you think she knows anything?” expression on their faces.
“Well, I’m going to get out of here,” the bitch said as they walked toward the door.
“That’s funny,” I said. “You’re going to leave without getting the weed you came up here for? I know Tay said that he didn’t know where it was, but now that I have found it, come over here and get some.”
That ho-ass bitch looked over at Tay, then walked over to me. You would think that with all that shit they were talking in the bedroom, they would be bolder with their shit. It took everything that I had in me not to fuck this bitch up. But I had bigger plans for them. This bitch held her hand out, and I put a good amount of weed in it.
“If this bag was a snake, it would have bitten you,” I said, sounding very sarcastic.
Once that bitch left, I got to thinking. Everything that Tay had told me before I left that morning meant nothing to me after what I had just heard. Okay, so he didn’t fuck that ho, but there had to be something in the air that would make someone come at you like that. It never came out of nowhere. I just kept smoking, hoping that I would calm down.
“I was thinking that maybe we can go out tonight. How does dinner and a club sound?” Tay watched me closely as he asked me his question.
“Well, have a good time,” I answered him.
“I am talking about you and me going out. I don’t want to go by myself.”
I stood up and walked right past him. “Nah. I got plans,” I said as I walked into the bedroom and closed the door.
I took a long bath and tried to relax, but it was not working. I just didn’t understand how someone could have the balls to challenge me, even if I was not there. Although it pissed me off, I was just going to have to put this on the back burner. As I soaked in the tub, I sniffed what seemed like half of Cuba up my nose. I had really been trying to cut back, but every time I felt shitty, that was the first thing I did. I got out of the tub at the same time Tay came into the bedroom and sat on the bed.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“Out with Amira,” I answered him as I started getting dressed.
“Since when have you and Amira started hanging out?”
“Was I supposed to ask you first? Or was I supposed to tell you that her and I have become friendly?”
“Tangie, I’m just asking. It’s not like you and her were friends before this tour.”
He was getting on my last nerve. How dare he question me? It was not like he walked around here, telling me about everything he did or would do.
“Well, Tay, just be happy that you know now. I just don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not like I’m going out with another man or anything. Just calm down and roll some weed up for me.”
He did as I asked, and I finished getting dressed. As I prepared to leave, Tay handed me two blunts and I gave him a kiss.
“Why don’t you call Black and see if he wants to go to a strip club or something?” I suggested.
He told me that he would call, and I turned around and left the suite. I went downstairs and knocked on Amira’s door. She opened it, and I took in a deep breath. She could have been Alicia Keys’s body double for the “Karma” video. As soon as I laid eyes on her, my mind flashed back to the part of the video where Alicia had on a turquoise one-piece. Amira’s hair was long, with bangs just like Alicia Keys’s. Her top was even turquoise, but instead of a one-piece, Amira had on a pair of tight jeans. She had dressed up her look with some nice heels. This was the most feminine I had ever seen her.
“Wow! You look really nice,” I told her as my eyes searched her body.
“Thanks. I just thought that I would dress it up for you a little,” she said as she mimicked me and roamed my body with her eyes.
I had on short denim shorts and a tight black lace top, with thigh-high black lace boots. She asked me to turn around so that she could get a whole-body view of my outfit.
“Damn, girl. You look like you should be walking somebody’s runway.”
I thanked her as she let me into her room.
“Have a seat while I finish getting ready.”
I sat on the edge of her bed and pulled out the weed that Tay had rolled for me. I waited for her to come out of the bathroom and handed her one of the blunts. She took it and leaned against the dresser as she sparked up. As we smoked, she kept giving me these sexy looks. I didn’t know if it was the weed, but I gave them right back to her. She smiled, licked her little pink lips, and flicked the ashes from the blunt into an ashtray. I kept thinking about her doing all kinds of nasty things to me, and I couldn’t stop as her eyes become sexy small slits the higher she got. The feeling was new to me, and I didn’t know if I wanted to fight it. There was a big part of me that wanted to feel something new . . . and she was most certainly that something new.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked, as if she already knew what thoughts had been running through my mind.
I smiled and crossed my legs. “Oh, I was just thinking about how good this weed is,” I lied, and she knew it as soon as the words left my mouth.
“Sure you are,” she said with a smile.
She came over to the bed and sat beside me. She was so close that every part of the right side of her body touched me. She leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees. She reached over and ran her finger across the part of my thigh that my boot did not cover, and said, “Yeah, that’s real nice.”
My body was so stiff that I couldn’t move it even if I wanted to. My body wanted her to take me, but my mind kept reminding me that I was not gay. She licked her lips and pulled her hand away.
“We better get out of here,” she said, as if she needed to stop herself from jumping the gun and doing something that might piss me off.
Yes, I gave off a vibe of interest, but I also clammed up whenever she got too close. She was just going to have to pay really close attention to me, and in time she would test me in every way imaginable. And that day, I didn’t know that she would start to do so soon.
When we got into the limo, we sat close together. She lit up a cigarette and made a comment about her having to stop smoking. She didn
’t want smoking to affect her singing voice. I didn’t really have much to say, so I just sat there, wondering where the night would lead us. I stayed this way until we got to the poetry club.
When we pulled up to the club, the people in line broke their necks trying to see what famous person was coming to their well-known poetry club. As soon as we stepped out of the limo and people saw Amira, they wailed with joy. She took my hand, and we walked inside. Once inside, we were seated at a table that I was sure she had reserved over the phone. The host announced that Amira was in the club, then went on with the show.
We sat and listened to people sing their songs and recite their poetry. Halfway through the show, Amira told me that she had to go to the bathroom. The next thing I heard was the host announcing that Amira was about to take the stage.
Oh shit, I thought. Why didn’t she tell me that she is going up there?
“Hey, everyone. I wrote this poem last night, as I sat in my room, thinking about someone who has been driving me crazy. This person has got me thinking of some wild things that I would love to do to them. So I hope that you all let your imagination run wild, the same way I did last night. The name I gave to my thoughts is ‘If You Were Here Right Now.’”
She then pulled out a piece of paper and recited her poem. It went like this.
If you were here right now,
Imagine what we would do.
You’d have your arms around me,
While I’d be kissing you.
Our tongues would play together
Right before I suck your bottom lip.
I’d rub my hands slowly down your back
Until I reached your hips.
Then hold you close while we’re still passionately kissing,
Feeling everything that I have been missing.
Thinking about you,
Missing you,
Wanting you,
Needing you.
But what else is new?
Seeking you,
Finding you,
Meeting up with you,
Holding you.
I wish our times together weren’t so far and few.
Seeing you,
Feeling you,
The Art of Deceit Page 11