by Nicole Grane
Chapter 9
The next few days were weird. I’d seen Chad at lunch, and in gym, but he never spoke to me. In fact, he never said anything to me. He’d glare on occasion, normal Chad stuff, but nothing more. It was as if the whole incident never happened. If it weren’t for the scratch marks on his face, I’d have questioned it happening myself.
I finally decided to ask Antonio what he’d said to Chad to make him keep quiet.
“What I said?” He picked up his pace a little on the track.
“Yeah,” I panted, trying to keep up. “What did you tell him? I mean, you must have threatened him good.”
“I never threatened him. I just told him he should forget about the whole thing. Too forget that he ever saw you . . . in such a compromising position.”
That’s a nice way to put it. “And he just agreed? He didn’t try to punch you for knocking him out?” This wasn’t making any sense.
“He just agreed.”
I thought about that. No. I wasn’t buying this. “Chad hates me. He’s always making weird faces at me, picking fights. No way would he miss out on an opportunity to make a fool out of me. You must have said something more or done something.”
“Aren’t you happy he’s leaving you alone?” Antonio asked.
That was a dumb question. “Yes, it’s just . . . this might sound bad but . . . is it possible I’m not as good-looking as I thought?”
Antonio stopped dead in his tracks. The sudden halt nearly causing him to topple over. I actually ran past him before I realized he’d stopped completely.
“What’s wrong?” I called, backtracking a bit.
“Would you mind repeating that?”
I scrubbed a hand down my face. Why did I have to ask that out loud? “I just meant that he hasn’t commented, not even to me privately, about what happened. No long looks, no snide remarks about how incredibly nice my butt is. And for the record, it is. Nice I mean.” That was an extremely bold statement I knew, but the way I saw it, Chad’s indifference to seeing me naked spoke volumes; he had to think I was completely unattractive—there was no way I wanted Antonio entertaining that thought!
There was a slight pinkish hue on Antonio’s face. Embarrassment? Disgust? Anger? I couldn’t tell. Shock was a definite possibility as well.
“I just figured that my naked body, no matter how little he saw, might be a topic of conversation for an adolescent male, that’s all.” I shrugged and resumed our run, hoping my earlier statement would be forgotten. Antonio was beside me in no time.
“You’re mad because he hasn’t commented on how good-looking your . . . naked body is?” He seemed to be having trouble saying the word.
“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds a bit shallow.” But it was true. I did find my body to be pretty darn attractive. Not as attractive as my mom’s but still, I always got more than my share of whistles at the beach; even though my father insisted on me wearing a one piece. Always noting that: “contrary to popular belief, the young man of today does not want his girl parading around half-dressed for all to see.” Neither does the father of today I thought with a smile.
Antonio looked dumbfounded. “Isn’t that what you wanted, for him to forget the whole thing; to never have seen you?”
“Of course, but I can’t turn back time. And, he is a guy; they can’t keep quiet for long about something like that. Sooner or later, he’s going to slip up.” If there was one thing I’d learned about high school boys, they always kissed and told.
Antonio took hold of my wrist and stopped me. “No he won’t.” There was darkness to his words.
I looked at him for the first time. I mean really looked at him. His eyes were telling me something and I found myself trying to listen. My own eyes fell shut. Muffled sounds, almost like static from an out-of-tune radio station began to whisper in my ears.
Antonio laced his fingers with mine, startling me for a moment. The sounds were coming in clearer.
Can you hear me?
I jumped back, my heart skipping a beat. I opened my mouth to speak—nothing!
He smiled, and extended his hand once again. “Don’t be scared. You had it.”
I looked at his hand. It seemed harmless enough. His eyes held that same intensity I saw moments ago.
I shook my head no and took another step back. “You spoke to me; in my head!” I hadn’t realized I was whispering.
Antonio's smile broadened.
“How did you do that?”
He shrugged. “The same way you’re starting to hear other’s thoughts.
“How did you know I could hear other’s thoughts?” I hadn’t told him that . . . I hadn’t told anyone that. Hell, I hadn’t even admitted it to myself!
“I’m a two-way communication system,” he announced with a slight laugh. “I can speak to you telepathically, and I . . . can hear your thoughts.”
With that, embarrassment, the likes I’d never felt before hit me like a freight train. Oh . . . my . . . god!
Understanding once again washed over Antonio’s face. “It’s alright Evie!”
“No.” I shook my head. I knew tears were spilling over, running steadily down my cheeks, but that was the least of my worries. Antonio heard everything, and I mean everything. Every unspoken thought I’d had, and most were about him. He knew irrefutably, that I had a ten-alarm crush on him. This was worse than Chad seeing me half naked—much worse! Crap . . . he can hear me now! I covered my face in my hands, as if that might keep him out of my head.
“It’s okay to have crushes, Evie. I’ve had them too.”
Great! He was sympathizing. I’ll bet he didn’t have to worry that those crushes could hear every thought he had about them. This was beyond embarrassing.
Antonio took my hands gently, holding them in his. His eyes looked so kind, so thoughtful. Despite my embarrassment, I could feel myself melting away like butter under their stare.
“Do not be embarrassed,” he spoke as his thumbs rubbed over the tops of my hands, weakening my knees further.
I could feel the flush covering my entire body now.
“So you have a little crush on me. Lots of people have crushes. In a few weeks, it will fade and you’ll have found someone else that strikes your fancy.” He smiled kindly. “I will be a distant memory.”
Was it possible he had no idea just how in love with him I was falling? How badly I wanted him to kiss me? Right now even. Damn! He heard that too! Yes. The look on his face confirmed he’d heard that loud and clear. I was still waiting for that giant hole to open up. Was it too much to ask for a catastrophic event that might swallow me whole?
Antonio blushed. “I’m flattered you think so highly of me.” He actually did sound flattered. I wasn’t sure if he realized that his hands were still holding mine until his thumbs moved over the top of them again, gently massaging my skin. He stepped closer, his warm breath blowing across my face. I could just make out a hint of chocolate and peppermint . . . I wanted nothing more than to lean forward and press my lips into his.
“Your first kiss should be special, Evie. It should be full of magic.” His words were soft and low, each one caressing me like the next. “Perhaps under the cover of a tree, while escaping a rain storm.” An image of Antonio holding me under that large willow in the common area sprung to mind. “Perhaps, after attending a romantic dance,” he continued, his eyes locking with mine now. “Or maybe, unexpectedly . . .” His hand reached up and took a loose curl tucking it behind my ear, his fingers brushing my cheek as he did so, tenderly. I leaned into them, feeling their warmth. Antonio’s eyes were burning with an intensity I didn’t understand. No one had looked at me like this before. I want to kiss you too Evie. His unspoken words rang clearly in my head.
He leaned in closer . . . closer. My hand cupped his against my face. He was going to kiss me! At least he might have, if I hadn’t blown it with thinking . . . “he’s going to kiss me!”
Antonio stepped back all of a sudden. His han
d leaving my face was like having the air sucked away from me. He looked shaken, like he couldn’t believe what he’d been about to do. And in that same moment, regret hung heavily on his face. He shook his head. “It cannot be me, Evie.” The words came out husky. I didn’t understand them.
“I . . . I gotta go!” I ran across the field, tears filling my eyes once again. The embarrassment of my own thoughts consumed me. I tried not to think. I didn’t want him to hear that I was trying not to think. How could I ever face Antonio again?
I flung open the door to the gym and ran smack into Gunny, bouncing off his chest. I staggered, and with his assistance, I stood up straight.
“Hollyander! Why aren’t you . . .?” His once hard expression turned to horror. Crying girls was something I’m sure Gunny didn’t want to deal with. Surprisingly, he was very intuitive as to why girls usually cried.
“Who hurt you?” He looked as fierce as my dad would have looked. He was ready to kick some major butt.
“Can I leave, please? I just want to go to my room.” I sniffled, wiping the tears from my face.
His eyes narrowed, sweeping the crowd of boys for a possible suspect. They all thankfully obverted their eyes.
“You’d tell me if one of them hurt you . . . wouldn’t you?” His words were gruff, but there was a tender side about Gunny that I'd suspected most people didn’t get to see. Perhaps he felt a sense of responsibility for me since he and my dad were friends—yet another reason, among many, I suspected for being placed in this class. Gunny wanted to keep an eye on me, and I was grateful for once someone cared.
“It wasn’t any of them. I just need to go. I promise I’ll be back tomorrow.”
He frowned, mulling my answer over a bit. “Alright, Hollyander, get out of here.”
I rushed away. Past the boys sparring, past Roland Vandenberg who saw without question how upset I was, and into the locker room. I grabbed my things and then ran all the way to my dorm room and locked the door behind me.
I threw myself on the bed and cried. How could I have misread that? I thought Antonio wanted to kiss me too. I heard him whispering it in my mind! I was so stupid. “How was I going to face him again?” I cried harder into my pillow.
Why would he care about me when he could have any girl he wanted—an older girl! Not some baby high school kid with a curfew, and . . . how’d he put it . . .? “A crush that will fade in a few weeks.”
I screamed into my pillow. This wasn’t like that. I’d had crushes before. At my last school, I’d had what I thought was the biggest crush ever on Joey St. John. He was blond, blue-eyed and beautiful, and a junior! My best friend Ashley and I used to go hang out at the beach and watch him surf on the weekends. I wouldn’t exactly say he didn’t know I existed . . . he did say sorry once when he ran into me on his way to class, knocking my books out of my arms. He even asked if I was okay, and helped me pick them up! Ashley said that was a sign of true affection. “No guy stops to help you unless they’re into you!” she’d said. Ah . . . Joey St. John . . .
I shook the thought away. This was different. This wasn’t a schoolgirl’s crush. I’d spent actual time with Antonio. He’d held my hand on a number of occasions. Like when he helped me off the grass and I gave him a cupcake. Or the time I’d tripped and fallen on my face while thinking about him; he’d helped me off the ground then too. Or just like now when he held my hand so that I could hear his thoughts better.
Wait a minute. He held my hand so I could hear his thoughts better? Why? What had he been trying to tell me before I freaked out and ran away? We’d been talking about Chad and the fact that he hadn’t been bothering me. That Antonio had told him to forget he ever saw me in such a “compromising position;” as Antonio so kindly put it. What had Antonio done to him? And what did it have to do with me being able to hear his thoughts?
The sound of knocking at the door drew me out of my reverie. I looked toward the source of the noise and frowned. “Go Away!”
“Evie it’s me!”
I sighed and rose from the bed. Iris wouldn’t leave me alone until she saw me. Iris was, if nothing else, persistent.
“I heard you were upset,” she pushed past me the moment the door cracked open.
“Won’t you come in?” I offered dryly, before swinging the door shut. “Who told you?”
“I saw Roland outside. He wanted to see you.”
“What? No! I don’t want to see anyone.” I planted myself firmly on the bed folding my arms. I wasn’t going anywhere.
“What happened? Roland said you started crying in class. Did you get hurt or something?” She eyed me carefully.
“Yeah, I got hurt.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.
She patted my shoulder. “You’ll see. The more you practice, the less it’ll bother you. You just need to exercise more.”
“I don’t think more practice is what’s needed.” My tone was surly but Iris didn’t seem to notice. She was all smiles and encouraging pep talks today. Sometimes I really hated cheerful people.
“Well, you should go talk to him. I think he wants to ask you something.” Her expression was all knowing.
I glanced at the mirror on the wall. “I look like a mess. Tell him I’ll talk to him tomorrow, if I’m still here.” I fell back on the bed, in a pit of despair.
“If you’re still here? Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“Evie, you can’t go home! We’re just getting to be good friends!”
“Iris, you don’t understand. I’ve had the most embarrassing day ever–the most embarrassing week, actually. I just want to go and leave this place behind me.” I didn’t really, but I couldn’t see any alternative.
“Well, clean yourself up. It’s about to get better.” She took a Kleenex from the box on my nightstand and began blotting my face.
“Iris . . . what are you doing?” Her fingers were moving through my hair now, fluffing it.
She leaned back, admiring her handy-work, and smiled. “Okay, you're presentable now.” She took me by the hand and led me downstairs and out the doors.
“Iris, what are we . . . ” I stopped dead in my tracks. Roland was waiting outside beneath a tree. He leaned up against it casually, still wearing his shorts and tight-fitting shirt from P.E. He looked amazing. Why couldn’t that be Antonio waiting under the tree for me? Oh yeah. He thought I was an immature schoolgirl with a ten-minute crush.
“Iris, I’m going to kill you later,” I growled under my breath at her.
“No you won’t. You’ll be thanking me later. See ya!” She literally skipped off down the path.
“Evie!” Roland smiled brightly at the sight of me. The sight. That’s exactly what I was. I pinched my cheeks subtly, adding some color to my face. Hoping to shift the attention from my red eyes—as if.
“Hey Roland, what’s up?” I tried to sound remotely enthused. I don’t think I fooled him. He studied me carefully.
“I wanted to see you. Are . . . are you all right now? You were so upset earlier.”
Understatement of the year! I waved him off. “It’s no big deal. Really, I’m fine.” I flashed him one of my award-winning smiles.
“Good.” He grinned, taking a step closer. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“Ask away.”
He fidgeted for a moment. His eyes for some reason not connecting with mine. “The spring dance is in three weeks, and I wondered if you’d like to go? With me?”
“Oh. Oh! Really?”
“You sound surprised?” He gave me a wry smile.
“Well, I just figured that I was the last girl any guy in this school would want to be seen with. Being that I crashed your P.E. class and all.”
“On the contrary, half the eleventh grade is pining for you. Do you have any idea how hot you look lifting weights?”
There was no need for artificial blush. I could feel the scarlet burn on my face. Why the heck couldn’t Antonio say something nice like that? I was glad Roland wasn’t able
hear my thoughts. Sweet . . . privacy!
Unless of course you’re going with someone else?” His confidence wavered.
“Who else would I be going with?” I knew who I’d like to go with, but that wouldn’t happen in a million years. There was no way Antonio would be caught dead at a high school dance, especially with a Junior.
“Well, I thought maybe you and Antonio were . . . ” He didn’t need to finish. The suggestion was crystal—if only it was true!
“No. He’s just helping me in class, nothing more.” My words came out harsher than I’d meant. But Roland didn’t seem to notice. A smile overtook his face.
“So what do you say?” he asked.
“Sure. I’d like that.” My smile was genuine this time. I wasn’t going to let my earlier argument with Antonio ruin this moment. My first dance!
“I’ll see you around?” Before I could answer, Roland leaned over and kissed me quickly on the cheek. He took off toward The Kitchen, a little spring in his step.
I touched my face. I could still feel the kiss beneath my fingers. Roland was cute . . .
“Evie.”
I spun around. Antonio walked out from behind a tree. The same tree I’d wished he’d been under moments ago.
“What do you want?” My words were crisp and unfriendly. He didn’t deserve them and I knew it. It was my wounded pride speaking for me. I folded my arms across my chest, giving him a haughty look.
“We need to talk.” He stepped closer, the delicious scent of aftershave moving with him. Crap! He heard that. I took a step back for every one of his advances. He stopped. His eyes pleaded with mine for understanding I couldn’t give.
“Evie.” He reached out as if to touch me.
“Don’t.” I warned.
“Evie, please, don’t be angry with me.”
“I’m not.” I lied. “It’s not your fault I’m a stupid little girl,” Or that you can read my private thoughts. Even though I hadn’t spoken the last part aloud, I knew he’d heard me. I could feel the tears building again, burning my eyes, and threatening to break free like a faulty dam. “I told you I’d be a waste of time,” I mocked, wiping away an escapee. “You should have never asked to train me.”
“You’re not stupid. I’d never say that. And you are not a waste of time.”
I half laughed. “Right.” Liar.
He threw his arms up in the air. An exasperated look hung heavy on his face. “I'm not lying!”
It was time to reclaim some dignity. “Hey, don’t worry about it. I’ll see you in class tomorrow, okay? Let’s just forget about the whole thing?” I forced a small smile for good measure.
“Can you honestly do that?” I could hear the doubt in his voice.
Good question. I could hardly stand up straight when he looked at me the way he was looking at me right now. All I could think about was wrapping my arms around him and planting one on those luscious lips. I glanced his way, meeting a skeptical look. “Yes, I can do that.” I could pretend not to be interested in him.
“You can’t hide your feelings for me Evie, I wouldn’t want you to.”
“You stay out of my head!” I shouted angrily. “And I don’t have feelings for you!” I knew it was a lie the moment the words left my lips. So did Antonio. Damn him! I fisted my hands at my sides.
“My apologies.” His voice was low and sober. “I misunderstood. I underestimated your resolve.”
My hands began to shake a little as I stood there. I held them, trying to steady myself. I knew he could see right through me. My heart fluttered at our close proximity. I wanted more than anything for him to reach out and hold my face like he’d done earlier. To stare at me with that look of what I hoped was longing in his eyes. I shook my head, pushing the picture away. The picture he was undoubtedly watching himself.
Antonio took a step toward me, his hand reaching out once again. He looked as if he wanted the same thing.
I stepped back, putting my hands out to stop him. I didn’t need his sympathy. “I’ll meet you on the field at three?” The words had come out as more of a question, proof of my uneasiness.
Antonio nodded, the silence cutting deep. But honestly, what more could he say. His eyes spoke volumes. There was a heavy sadness in them. He probably felt bad for the pathetic display of emotion I was throwing at him; probably cursing himself for offering to help me with my training in the first place.
I swallowed the hard lump in my throat; and without another word, turned and hurried toward The Kitchen. The further away I got from Antonio’s mind reading, the better.