by Blake Pierce
“I know. But still, sometimes I have to remind myself that not every human interaction is about work. I didn’t have to make every visit to the club be about snagging another account. We could have simply enjoyed a night out there without making it a business opportunity. And I know last night was beyond. Obviously if I’m using the possibility of securing a possible client as an excuse to snort cocaine, I’ve crossed a line. I’m embarrassed that I didn’t see it in the moment. Looking back now, I can’t believe that was me.”
“I couldn’t either,” Jessie agreed quietly. “I didn’t recognize you.”
“Neither did I, Jess,” he said with an urgency that sounded almost anguished. “But all that stops now. I want to get back to the old me, the guy you recognize. The guy you love. So I have a proposal.”
Jessie, despite being intrigued, felt a little lightheaded, as she often did these days, so she moved to one of the kitchen barstools and sat down.
“I’m listening,” she said.
“Tonight is the Bringing the Boats in Party. I think it’s the perfect chance to let folks at the club know that we—I—will be scaling back time spent there: far fewer golf outings, not going to as many Oath Minder meetings, that sort of thing. The pregnancy is a perfect excuse. I’ll just let them know that for the foreseeable future, they’ll be seeing less of me.”
Jessie allowed herself to imagine a world where the two of them could just curl up on the couch to spend an evening binge-watching something.
“I have to admit, that sounds nice,” she said.
“It does to me too. And this way, I can tell everyone on the same night, when they’re all in a good mood because of the party. I don’t have to sit people down for ‘serious’ conversations. I can just mention it casually in passing and move on to the next person. It’ll be more natural that way. Plus we can just have fun, sort of a last big blowout before we go into nesting mode. What do you think?”
I think I’d rather not go at all. But this seems like a reasonable compromise.
“I think it makes sense,” she said, keeping her thoughts to herself. “Although I’m not sure how much energy I have to go hopping from boat to boat all night.”
“Then we’ll cut out early if we have to,” he said. “Or you can just crash in the cabin of someone’s boat if you get that tired. I hear that happens all the time at this thing. Everyone’s very accommodating, from what I’ve been told.”
“I guess,” Jessie said, not overly enthused at the idea of sleeping in some stranger’s bed on an unfamiliar boat.
Kyle seemed to sense her hesitation.
“I’ll follow your lead on that, babe,” he promised. “Which is something I should have done this whole time. That’s the other thing I wanted to say. If you really hate it here, we can move back. It’s true I wanted our kids to have an actual house with an actual yard. But none of that matters if you’re unhappy. It’s not about where we live. It’s about how we live. And I want to live with you, wherever we hang our hats at the end of the day.”
“You’d just willingly move?” she asked, stunned. “After only being here a few months?”
“It’s not ideal. And I’ll admit it’s not my preference. But I care about us more than any job or town. So if that’s what you decide you need to be happy, then of course I’d do it.”
Jessie, suddenly emotional but still too wiped out to get up at that moment, motioned for Kyle to come over to her. As he did she held out her arms. He leaned in and wrapped his own arms around her, enveloping her in the warmth and security she hadn’t realized how much she needed.
“I missed you,” she said quietly.
“Me too,” he whispered back, his breath hot on her ear. “But we’re going to get back to a good place. And if you’re not up for it, we don’t even have to go tonight. I just thought it made sense.”
“It does. We’ll go. Knowing that it’s kind of a last hurrah will give me that extra boost of energy.”
“Thanks, babe,” he said, squeezing her tight. They stayed like that for a long time.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” she said, when they finally separated, “I saw the doctor today. I heard the heartbeat!”
He looked excited and sad at once.
“I’m so sorry I missed that. Next time for sure.”
“You want to see the first baby picture?” she asked, moving quickly past the still painful fact that he hadn’t been there.
“Of course,” he said, a goofy grin on his face.
“Now don’t get too excited. It’s kind of hard to discern too much. And we don’t know the gender yet, although I’m getting that info expedited. But still…”
She showed him the ultrasound image. He stared at it, his eyes welling up. A tear trickled down his cheek but he made no attempt to wipe it away.
They moved over to the couch, where they spent the next couple of hours looking online at different crib options and searching baby name meanings. Kyle’s phone rang once but he gave it only a passing glance before putting it on silent and settling in with her.
By the time they had to get changed for the party, Jessie felt like their blowup from the night before was ancient history. She tossed Kimberly’s doughnuts in the trash, grateful for the sentiment but not wanting any reminders of the unpleasantness she hoped was now just a memory.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Jessie was worried the boat she was on was going to tip over.
She’d never seen so many people at the club at one time. And it seemed like all of them were crowded on the boat she was on. She pushed her way through the crowd and stepped out onto the dock, where she needed several deep breaths to calm down.
It had been like this since they arrived two hours earlier.
Members, some dressed in tuxes and evening gowns, swarmed the club and the adjoining section of the marina dedicated to it. Jessie felt underdressed in her top, slacks, and jacket. She’d heard they would be moving from boat to boat and assumed people would want to dress comfortably and warm, considering the chill in the air. Kyle must have assumed the same because he hadn’t gone the tuxedo route either, opting for his standard suit and tie option.
They were on their third boat of the evening when Jessie bumped into Kimberly. The crowd was so thick that she hadn’t seen her until they were face to face. Her neighbor, dressed in a slinky, cream-colored, beaded, flapper-style get-up, looked around and saw that Kyle was separated from them by a wall of people.
“How are you doing?” she asked quietly.
“I’m good,” Jessie said, believing her words for the first time in a long while. “I’m actually doing really well.”
“Remember what I said about friendly faces. If you feel like you need to get out of this madhouse and talk, I’m available.”
“I appreciate that, Kimberly. But I think I’m okay.”
Just then, Kyle arrived. Kimberly gave him a polite nod before moving on.
“Are things better between you two?” he asked, surprised.
“We made up,” Jessie said, leaving it at that.
They walked down the dock to a section less choked with humanity and leaned against the railing, taking it all in. From here, they could see the array of twinkling lights that lit up the outside of the club. It was like Christmas had come two months early.
Staffers were everywhere. It seemed like the club had hired dozens more, just to handle the demand for drinks and appetizers. Every few seconds, a man in a trim suit or one of those hostesses in a tight black miniskirt would come by, offering something to eat or drink. Jessie marveled at the girls’ ability to navigate the wooden dock in their high heels, even as she resented them for their true reason for being there.
“Do you want a bite to eat?” Kyle asked her. “You must be starving.”
“I could nosh,” Jessie admitted, suddenly aware of the gnawing pit in her stomach.
“And what about a drink? I know it’s supposed to be verboten. But are you allowed to have a tiny bit? Maybe
a few sips of celebratory champagne?”
“I think a few sips are okay,” Jessie said. “But not more than that.”
“Okay, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
He headed off into the throng and within seconds, was lost in a sea of formal wear. While she waited, Jessie saw Melanie, wearing a simple black gown, one dock over and called out to her. They carefully made their way to each other and met on the bridge connecting the docks.
“Where’s Teddy?” Jessie asked. He was nowhere in sight.
“Officially, he’s checking in with some of the Oath Minder guys. Unofficially, I would guess he’s checking in with someone else.”
The acid in her voice betrayed the resentment she felt at the arrangement she claimed to have made her peace with. Apparently, Jessie wasn’t such an outlier in thinking the “pact” so many of these couples had made was crazy. She realized they hadn’t talked since Mel had revealed the truth about the club and wondered if the conversation had reopened some wounds.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I will be,” Mel replied. “It just backs up on me sometimes. But it’s the deal I made so I have to push through, you know?”
Jessie nodded, though she didn’t know at all. Mel shook her head as if trying to shake the thought from her brain.
“And how are you handling your recent…awakening?”
“Muddling through,” Jessie said, not wanting to rub her new friend’s nose in her recently revitalized marriage. “But I’ll get there.”
“I have no doubt. You’re a tough cookie, Jessie. I knew that within minutes of meeting you.”
“What do you mean?” Jessie asked.
“Nothing. There’s just something about you, something in your eyes. They’re steely. I can tell that you’ve dealt with far more trying times than this. And clearly you found a way through them because here you are, standing tall and unbowed.”
“Thank you, Mel,” Jessie said, feeling an unexpected and unwanted rush of emotion hit her. “I really appreciate that.”
“Of course. We have to stick together, right?”
Jessie nodded and was about to respond when she saw Teddy, wearing a loud blue tux, at the far end of the dock. Mel saw him too.
“I better get over there,” she sighed. “He’s had quite a few already. I’m a little worried he might fall in the water.”
She squeezed Jessie’s hand before disappearing in the crowd. Jessie turned her attention back to Teddy and saw that he was talking to one of the hostesses and another man, who was blocked from her sight by a crowd of partiers. But when one of them shifted positions, she realized the third person was Kyle.
He was holding two glasses of champagne and listening to some animated story Teddy was sharing and the hostess was giggling at. The girl, blonde and gorgeous, wore a tiny black number that barely covered her golden tan skin.
Every few seconds, she would look over at Kyle and touch his forearm or hand in a far too familiar way. Jessie noticed that he shifted slightly away from her each time she did it. But inevitably, she’d sidle up close to him again. Eventually, he said something to Teddy and turned back in Jessie’s direction.
He deftly navigated the mass of people between them and when he finally reached her, extended one of the champagne glasses to her.
“Sip it stealthily,” he said. “I don’t want any moral finger-waggers giving us a hard time.”
“I see you made a new friend,” Jessie noted, nodding across the dock at the scantily clad bimbette, who was still talking to Teddy but kept glancing over at Kyle. Melanie arrived at her husband’s side at that moment, looking none too happy.
Kyle looked confused at first but then followed Jessie’s gaze and saw who she was referencing.
“Oh, yeah,” he said in a tone of weary resignation. “That’s Natalia. She’s from Ukraine and she’s been living here for three months. She’s super-friendly, as you might have noticed; very touchy-feely. I think she’s looking for a sugar daddy to pay for her English language lessons and her suntan lotion.”
“You don’t sound smitten,” Jessie said as she surreptitiously took a sip of the bubbly.
“Is that jealousy I hear in your voice, Jessica Madeline? I wouldn’t worry too much. She’s a little transparent.”
“I’m surprised the club would hire someone like that,” Jessie probed, trying to determine how much her husband really knew about how this place operated.
“I think they scraped the bottom of the Westport Beach barrel for tonight because the event is so massive. My guess is they’d rather have a pretty girl who can’t hold a tray properly than a legitimate server who weighs more than a hundred fifteen pounds.”
“That’s very evolved of you to say,” Jessie replied.
“Don’t give me too much credit,” he said. “Part of what irks me is that this is supposed to be a classy place. And she is definitely not classy. She told me she works most nights at some strip club I can’t remember the name of; offered me a discount on private dances.”
Jessie let that comment settle into her skull, then forced herself to inhale and exhale deeply before replying.
“For the amount of money we shelled out for the membership here, you’d think they could have gone with lingerie models,” she said after taking another quick sip.
She tried to sound as nonchalant as possible but could hear the bitter edge in her own voice. He didn’t seem to catch it, chuckling appreciatively at her snark.
She tried to smile back but suddenly the weight of the evening hit her. She was already tired from the pregnancy. And that, coupled with having to dress up, play nice all night, and navigate rickety docks and unstable boats, had taken its toll. She felt a fog of exhaustion settle in on her.
“Are you okay, babe?” Kyle asked, apparently noticing her full body slump.
“I’m just really tired,” she admitted. “Two hours of this is about my max. I’m on the verge of getting grumpy. Can we please wrap it up so I can go home and sleep for twelve hours?”
“Absolutely,” he promised. “Just give me ten minutes to say my last round of goodbyes since I’ll be scarce around here after tonight. Why don’t you sit on that bench over there? I’ll come and get you as soon as I’m done.”
“Fine, but please hurry,” Jessie said, finishing the last of her champagne. “Otherwise you’ll be carrying me out of here.”
Kyle nodded and hurried off. Jessie glanced at her watch—10:01 p.m.
So late. So tired.
She sat down heavily on the bench and watched him fade into the crowd. She breathed deeply, trying to regain her equilibrium. The sparkly lights of the club against the night sky, combined with the shiny clothes and jewelry of the women nearby, were giving her a headache.
She closed her eyes and pictured herself elsewhere. An image immediately popped into her head. She and Kyle were back downtown, in a huge new condo in their old neighborhood, unpacking all the boxes from their move back to the city. Then she pictured her master’s diploma on the wall of her little nook of an office, where she’d set up shop during her maternity leave.
She imagined herself going into the baby’s room to change a diaper and then rocking the little one back to sleep as she got up to speed on her new position at some impressive law enforcement agency. LAPD? FBI? Maybe on staff at NRD? The options were seemingly limitless.
Her daydream was interrupted by the sound of a brittle foreign voice. She opened her eyes and looked up to see the stripper/hostess Natalia standing in front of her, speaking in broken, nearly unintelligible English.
“What?” she asked.
“I say, you vant ’nother bubble dreenk?”
The girl was unsteadily balancing a tray of champagne glasses, despite using both hands.
“No, thanks,” Jessie said.
“Okay, sure,” Natalia said with way more enthusiasm than the situation required. “You vant food maybe? I see you here lonely looking. Maybe eat help?”
“No,
I’m good,” Jessie said, trying to keep the frustration bubbling up inside her from spilling over. The gall of this woman, flirting with her husband and then acting as if everything was cool, had her feeling testy. “I’m just waiting for my husband.”
“Oh yes, Kyle. Very nice man. Very funny. You very lucky lady.”
“You think?” Jessie said, pushing off from the bench to stand up. She towered over Natalia by at least six inches. Looking down at the woman, she noticed that she wasn’t as pretty up close. Her foundation was caked on to hide her acne and her mascara was heavy and clumping in places.
“Yes,” Natalia repeated. “Kyle is nice husband, for sure.”
“Yeah, and he’s my husband,” Jessie said, unable to contain her vitriol. She knew her voice was louder than she intended but she was beyond caring.
Natalia looked startled and stumbled back. She lost her balance and several of the champagne glasses teetered dangerously.
“Yes, good husband,” she said, apparently unable to think of anything else to add.
“Yeah, husband,” Jessie repeated furiously, taking a step toward the smaller woman. “That means not available for you to get your claws into. So you can stop touching him and giggling every time he coughs, got it, Natalia?”
The girl took another step back and snagged her heel in a divot in the dock. She crumpled to the ground and the tray of glasses went with her, shattering on the wood. Jessie stood over her, glaring down, full of rage and a little bit of satisfaction.
Suddenly Kyle was at her side.
“What is going on?” he demanded, looking back and forth between them.
“Just getting a few things straight with your little friend,” Jessie said, feeling self-satisfied.
“Jeez, Jess. Don’t you think you’re going a little overboard?”
“Are you defending her?” Jessie shot back.
“No,” he insisted. “It’s just…you’re yelling at the staff. She doesn’t deserve this.”
“She’s a gold-digging skank, Kyle. I’m just calling her out on it.”