by J. L. Wilder
“Maybe that’s why Dax won’t step up as alpha,” Tommy suggested. “Maybe he doesn’t want that responsibility.”
“Yeah. Probably.”
“But You don’t think Griff wants it either?”
“I think Griff wants to be finished, that’s all. Haven’t you noticed that his commands are feeling weaker lately? Half the time I don’t feel compelled to obey him at all.” He paused. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I haven’t noticed anything like that,” Tommy said. “The orders have felt the same as always to me.”
“Maybe you haven’t been thinking about it,” Vince suggested. “Maybe you haven’t stopped to think about whether you want to obey, whether you really have to obey.”
“Why would I stop to think about that?” Tommy asked. “I might as well stop to think about whether I want the sun to rise in the east. What I think about it has nothing to do with what’s going to happen.”
“But everyone thinks about it,” Vince protested.
Tommy’s eyes were wide.
“Doesn’t everyone think about it?” Vince asked.
“You’re the alpha,” Tommy said softly.
“Don’t be crazy. Of course I’m not.”
“You are. It all makes sense now.”
“It doesn’t make any sense at all,” Vince said irritably. “If I was the alpha, why would I want Griff to have authority over me? If I was the alpha, I would want to take charge.”
“I don’t know,” Tommy said. “Maybe you only think that because you’ve seen Ace wanting to take charge for so long, and you just think that’s the way alphas are now. But look at Griff. He’s our leader because he feels a sense of responsibility for us and he wants to make sure we’re okay, not because he enjoys bossing us around. And you feel those ways, don’t you?”
Vince didn’t say anything. Tommy’s words were hitting a little too close to home for comfort. He couldn’t be an alpha, could he?
Or could he?
Didn’t it make sense, in a way? He had been the only member of their pack to openly defy Ace. And now even Griff’s commands weren’t landing the way they ought to have. More and more, day by day, Vince felt disconnected from the rest of his pack. He felt independent, cut off. He longed to be pulled back in, to be part of something communal.
But maybe he couldn’t have that sort of community anymore.
Maybe he was the alpha.
The alpha could never really belong.
“I don’t want this,” Vince said, his voice quiet.
“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t,” Tommy agreed. “But I’d much rather follow you than Ace, Vince. And I know Dax would too. And that makes you more qualified than just about anyone.”
“I thought it would be Dax.”
“Dax is too headstrong. Too impulsive. I don’t know why we ever thought it was him, really. It doesn’t make sense. He’d be a terrible leader.”
“Christ, though,” Vince said. “Alpha.” He should have felt more shock at the realization, he thought, but somehow it just seemed to make sense. It fit in so well with everything else that had happened to him in the last few months.
“What are you going to do?” Tommy asked. “Are you going to tell Griff? And the others?”
“Eventually,” Vince said. “Not yet.”
“What, then?”
The idea had come to Vince in a heartbeat, and he had made his decision so quickly that it felt as if he had known all along what he was going to do.
“I’m leaving,” he said. “I’m going out on a ride.”
“Like, to the city?”
“No. I’m going out looking for—” he paused. Did he dare tell Tommy the truth? “For an omega,” he said.
“An omega?” Tommy blinked, looking confused. “We looked for an omega already. We didn’t find one. We looked in our whole territory.”
“I know that,” Vince said.
“You’re not thinking of going into someone else’s territory, are you?” Tommy said, anxiety creeping through into his voice. “Because I can’t let you do that. You can’t go into someone else’s territory and make a move on their omega by yourself. You’ll get yourself killed if you try. There’ll be a battle. You have to take us with you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Vince said. “I’m not going into anyone else’s territory. I’m not suicidal.”
“Then what? How are you going to find an omega when we already searched and came up empty? Do you think we maybe just missed something?”
“What I think,” Vince said, “is that maybe I wasn’t searching as throughly as I could have. Maybe I shortchanged the search effort when I thought it was Ace we were doing it for.”
“You wouldn’t have done that,” Tommy said. “If there’s any one of us I’d say would give it his all regardless, it’d be you. Maybe Dax was half-assing, but you wouldn’t do that.”
“Maybe I would,” Vince retorted.
“So what, you’re just going to go through the whole thing again? Months on the road searching for something that might not even exist? But this time you’re going to go alone?”
“Not months,” Vince said. “I just...there’s a stone I don’t want to leave unturned, that’s all. There’s a place I want to check before I call it quits on the whole idea.”
Tommy cocked his head to one side and studied Vince.
“Bullshit,” he said.
Vince was stunned. Tommy was usually so easygoing, so agreeable. “What?”
“You’re not looking for an omega at all, are you?” Tommy asked. “I know what you’re doing. You’re going back to Wyoming.”
“Tommy—”
“Don’t ‘Tommy’ me. You’re going back to her.”
Vince sighed. He should have known he wouldn’t be able to lie to a member of his back. It was embarrassing how easily Tommy had figured out the truth. “I just can’t stop thinking about her,” he said quietly.
“She’s not even a shifter, man.”
“I know.”
“You were sure about that, right? She was definitely just a human girl? There’s no way you could have made a mistake?”
“Definitely,” Vince said. “You have no idea how much I wish I was wrong. Life would be a hell of a lot easier if she were a shifter.”
Tommy hesitated.
“You don’t absolutely have to be with a shifter, you know,” he said.
“I do,” Vince countered. “Eventually I need to be with someone I can mate with. Someone I can grow the pack with. Ideally an omega, of course, but if that doesn’t work out then at the very least a shifter woman.”
“Some shifters end up with humans,” Tommy countered.
“Not alphas.” The word felt strange in Vince’s mouth. He had never used it in connection to himself like this. But he supposed he would have to get used to it. Alpha, he thought again, trying to adjust to the knowledge in his head.
It was definitely true. The only thing he couldn’t understand was how it had taken him so long to see it.
“You can’t let them know, Tommy,” he said.
“Let them know what?” Tommy looked startled.
“Let them know I’m the alpha. Or where I went.”
“What the hell am I supposed to say?”
“Leave out the alpha part entirely,” Vince said. “Tell them I went for a ride and I’ll be back in a few days. Tell them I needed some time to myself.” It wouldn’t be the first time one of the Hell’s Wolves had taken off for a few days.
It would just be the first time someone had done it without Griff’s permission.
Tommy blinked as he took in Vince’s instructions.
“That was an order,” he said. “You just gave me an order, Vince.”
And in that moment, Vince knew, Griff’s power over Tommy had broken.
He would have to come back to the pack quickly and take up his new position as alpha. If he failed to do so, there was no telling what kind of mess he would be walking int
o when he returned.
He would just have to hope Tommy could keep a lid on things for a couple of days.
Chapter Thirteen
AMY
Coming home from the restaurant was growing more and more exhausting. Amy felt as if she couldn’t keep up. The extra demands that this pregnancy placed on her body were a lot to cope with.
Although, to be honest, she had been surprised by how robust and healthy she actually felt. It wasn’t as though she felt sick. In fact, everything seemed to be running more smoothly for her. Most mornings she woke up feeling as if she could have run a half-marathon. She felt strong and powerful.
That was the pregnancy at work, she supposed. Her pregnancy book had warned her that she would start to feel a lot of pride and satisfaction in the capability of her body, and that was exactly what was happening.
But it didn’t keep her from being exhausted by the end of each day.
The journey home felt like sleepwalking through a fog. She had developed a habit of stopping halfway—even though it was only a few blocks’ journey—to get a snack at the convenience store as a way of perking herself up a bit and ensuring she didn’t zone out too much during the home stretch. But even inside the convenience store, it was easy to lose track of her surroundings.
Perhaps that was why she didn’t notice the man in the leather jacket until she was on her way out the door.
He hadn’t bought anything—his hands were empty, and as she thought about it, she realized he had been browsing the greeting card rack since she had entered the store. Now he turned and followed her out as she left, hands shoved deep in his pockets.
She had a split second to make a decision—turn and go back into the store, where the eye of the clerk would be on them, or keep walking?
She was just so tired.
Surely she was overreacting. This man was probably just on his own way home.
Still, she walked a little faster as she turned the corner onto her own street, and she slipped her hand into the pocket of her jacket, curling her fingers around her keys. Part of her mind was thinking about how quickly she might be able to whip them out and unlock the door to her home, but the other part of her was thinking about jamming the sharp end into the man’s eye.
So violent. She shuddered. She had known for years that it was wise to carry your keys in your hand if you were walking alone at night, but she had never actually visualized using them against an attacker the way she was now. It had always felt like one of those things that was better not to think about.
Not now.
Right now the thought almost gave her pleasure.
I won’t let him get his hands on me, she thought firmly. He doesn’t get to scare me just because he’s a big man in a leather jacket and I’m a woman. I’m not afraid of him.
But she was afraid of him. She couldn’t suppress the little trickles of fear that had begun to seep through her as she’d realized that he was following her.
Because this wasn’t just about her, was it?
She had a baby to think of. Whatever happened to her also happened to her baby. She couldn’t let herself be attacked when it might mean that harm would come to her baby.
She darted up the stairs to her front door, unlocked it, and slammed it closed behind her, throwing the deadbolt. For a moment she struggled to catch her breath, feeling as though she might be sick. Then she forced herself to walk to the window and look out.
He was standing out there on the sidewalk, looking up at the door she’d gone into.
He knew where she lived. And he was taking note of it.
Amy felt chilled. Should she call the police? Should she let them know a strange man was lurking outside her house? She didn’t see how she would ever get to sleep tonight, knowing he was out there. Maybe they could send someone over to scare him off. She looked out again—
He was gone.
He must have decided to move on.
What could she tell the cops, then? That a man had looked at her house, and that it had scared her?
There had been something off about him. She was sure of it. Something not quite right, not to be trusted. But she couldn’t possibly have explained the way he made her feel to anybody else. And now that he was gone, there was nothing anyone could do for her anyway besides listen to the story.
I’m being silly, she told herself firmly. Besides, the door is locked. He can’t get in. I’m perfectly safe here. This is a very secure place.
Still, she had trouble relaxing. Her exhaustion had been scared right out of her, and it was hours before she finally managed to get to sleep that night.
AMY THOUGHT SHE WOULDN’T be able to put the creepy incident out of her mind. But things at work the next day were chaotically busy, and she found herself racing to get food to one table after another. The work was enough to distract her from her anxieties.
That was, until she went out to greet a new table and saw the man in the leather jacket sitting there waiting for her.
She froze where she stood. How did he find me? But that was a foolish question. This was a small town. She couldn’t have been that hard to find.
She glanced around, looking for Brian, hoping to ask him to switch tables with her. The last thing she wanted was a confrontation with this man while he was surrounded by three of his friends, all of whom were just as big and burly as he was. But Brian was occupied by what appeared to be a ten year old’s birthday party, and Amy could tell he was just barely keeping things together as it was.
I’m just going to have to handle it myself, she thought, squaring her shoulders. At least they were in the restaurant. There was very little he could do to her here.
She approached the table, careful to come up on the opposite side of it from the man who had followed her home so that he wouldn’t be able to put his hands on her. “What can I get you all today?” she asked, completely abandoning her usual pleasant demeanor.
None of them answered her.
Instead, the man nearest her looked her up and down. And then—did he smell her? He definitely inhaled deeply. Amy tried to remember whether she had put on something scented today, but she didn’t think so. Not much point, when you were going to come home smelling like fried food anyway.
“This is the one?” he asked.
The man from the night before nodded once.
“Nah, you’re imagining things,” the sniffer said. “She’s as ordinary as they come.”
“I’m telling you, she’s not.” The man in the leather jacket turned to Amy. “You’re not, are you?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Who are your parents?”
“Sir, if you’re not going to order—”
“No, I see what you mean, John,” a third man spoke up. “There’s definitely something about her.”
“She’s not one of us,” the man beside Amy insisted. “We’d know it if she was.”
Amy was completely spooked. “I’ll get you some drinks,” she said, and beat a quick retreat back toward the kitchen.
Brian was at the POS machine, entering an order. “Switch tables with me,” she begged. “I’ll take the birthday party.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.” He shook his head. “They’re monsters, Amy. You don’t want anything to do with that scene.”
“Take the four guys by the window off my hands,” she begged. “They’re creeps, Brian. One of them was smelling me, and they keep talking about me like I’m not there and asking me totally bizarre questions like who my parents are.”
Brian frowned. “That’s messed up. Do you want me to have them thrown out?”
“No.” Amy hadn’t forgotten that at least one of these men knew where she lived. The last thing she wanted was to provoke them. “Just take over their table? And make sure you don’t tell them anything about me.”
“Yeah, no problem,” Brian said. “Take ten and go calm down, okay? I can keep the birthday kids.”
Amy nodded gratefully and went back into the br
eak room.
What was going on? When the man in the leather jacket had followed her home last night, she had taken him for a run of the mill creep. But this wasn’t how regular predators behaved, was it? They didn’t bring a bunch of their friends to your place of work during the light of day and talk about you like you were someone they knew.
And the way they had talked about her—that had been really weird. She would have expected them to make inappropriate comments about her body or say suggestive things about things they might like to order that weren’t on the menu—that had happened to her before. But they hadn’t done that. If it hadn’t been so deeply weird, she would hardly have found the conversation inappropriate at all.
What do they want with me? she wondered, taking a seat at the break room table and drinking from her water bottle. She was shaking with nervous energy and she struggled to bring her body under control, to calm herself down. Why are they following me?
It didn’t matter, she reminded herself firmly. She was safe as long as she was here at the restaurant. And tonight...
Could she really go back to her home, the place where they’d followed her? Could she stand to be alone tonight, knowing they were out there?
I don’t have work tomorrow, she thought. I don’t have to stay here. Maybe this would be a good opportunity to go back to her parents’ house. She hadn’t seen them since she’d moved out. She had hoped to stay away longer, to establish herself in her new life and then invite them to come out and see her. But maybe this would be the perfect opportunity to go back.
She wouldn’t have to tell them she had been scared away from her home. She could just say she had felt like seeing them.
Of course, there was the fact that they didn’t know she was pregnant.
That would be an awkward conversation.
But it was a conversation that had to take place sometime. Tonight was as good a time for it as any.
Feeling a bit more steady now that she had a plan, Amy drained her water bottle and got to her feet, ready to complete the workday. Those men—whoever they were—were not going to scare her off of her job.