by Burke, Darcy
She would miss him too. When he left after the new year, she feared her heart would break.
“What if I bought you a house outside London? Then we could see each other regularly and you wouldn’t have to live in the city. I’m sure there’s a local cause we can find for you to dedicate your time and passion to.”
The sun emerged from behind a cloud, its rays already working to melt the snow around them, just as her resolve was suddenly faltering. He was too perfect. Too wonderful. No, he was simply Ash.
“Together, we could choose a house and make it feel like here,” he continued. “Like home.”
She already knew what home felt like. Ash.
“My goodness, what are you doing?” Mrs. Rutledge’s voice rent the air and was followed by a nervous laugh.
Ash nearly jumped off Bianca, springing to his feet and quickly helping her to stand. “Nothing. We slipped.”
“That explains it,” his mother said with another awkward laugh. “I think you both need a bath right away. Even though the sun is out, you must be freezing.”
“Now that I am wet, yes,” Bianca admitted.
As they started toward the house, Mrs. Rutledge said, “I came to speak with you about the party. I do think we should ask Thornaby and Keldon for support.”
“No,” Bianca and Ash said in unison. Their gazes met around Ash’s mother, who walked between them.
“Whyever not? They’d be more than happy to help, and Keldon’s mother is a friend of mine. She’d be disappointed if I didn’t ask.”
“We don’t need to trouble anyone,” Ash said with a flick of his shoulder. “Let us surprise everyone with what we come up with.”
Bianca nodded enthusiastically. “Exactly. I’m sure Poppy and Gabriel will help—we can manage it between us.”
Mrs. Rutledge frowned slightly as the footman opened the door. “If you say so.”
“We do,” Ash assured her.
His mother went in first, followed by Bianca, and then Ash.
“They both need warm baths,” Mrs. Rutledge said to the butler while he closed the door. The retainer nodded and took himself off.
Bianca moved to Ash’s side and whispered, “Too bad we can’t take one together.”
He gave her the most scalding stare she’d ever received, and the unfulfilled ache inside her began to grow again. “You’re going to ruin me completely.” His voice was barely audible next to her ear above the pounding of her blood.
Today, Bianca had had a glimpse of what their life together could be like. The prospect was beyond tempting.
* * *
If there had ever been a more perfect day, Ash wasn’t aware of it. Not in his life. Not in anyone’s life. He’d dare anyone to best the sheer joy and delight of spending time with Bianca. And that was after she’d declined his marriage proposal.
Oh, it still stung, but he possessed something tonight he hadn’t the night before: hope. She’d been flirtatious and provocative as well as apologetic and possibly plagued by regret. He didn’t wish her to feel bad, truly, but if that remorse moved her to change her mind, he would consider himself fortunate indeed.
Reality—and cynicism—crowded his buoyant thoughts. If he hoped to persuade her to alter course, he was nearly out of time. Tomorrow, she would be on her way to her sister’s. The snow had melted considerably that afternoon, but not quickly enough for her to arrive at Darlington Abbey before the sun went down. She would, however, be able to leave in the morning.
He had a choice—he could lie here in bed and wait for something to happen, or he could get up and pursue the future he wanted. Put like that, there was no choice at all.
Ash threw the covers off and reached for his banyan, drawing it closed over his nightshirt. Before he could think better of his intentions, he went from the bedchamber into the sitting room. In a trice, he opened the door.
And immediately stopped cold.
Standing there in her dressing gown was Bianca, her dark hair hanging in a thick plait over her right shoulder. Her brilliant blue eyes regarded him with surprise. “I didn’t even knock,” she said.
“I was coming to see you.”
“Were you?” She sounded slightly breathless.
He clasped her elbow and drew her inside, quickly closing the door behind her. “Bee—”
She put her finger against his lips. “Shh. I came to see you. I get to speak.”
With her touching his mouth, he wasn’t sure he would hear a word she said. His cock was already at full attention, his body thrumming with keen desire.
He answered by nodding.
“Good.” She lowered her hand, and he resisted the urge to snag her fingertip between his teeth. “I’ve changed my mind. I will marry you.”
Joy burst in his chest, and he just barely caught himself from yelling an expletive. At the worst of his affliction, that had been a rather common occurrence when he was excited. And since this was potentially the most spectacular moment of his life, it made sense he would react in the same manner. He was just glad he’d stopped himself before he drove her away for good.
The reality of what she said settled into him. “Do you mean it?” he whispered. Fear edged out his happiness. What would she do when he inevitably didn’t control himself? When something leapt from his mouth, or he suffered a fit of twitching that would draw all manner of attention?
“I do.”
“I think I might have changed my mind.”
Deep lines furrowed her brow as she stepped closer to him until they almost touched. “Why?” She shook her head. “No, never mind. You can’t.”
“Yes, I can. You shouldn’t marry me. I’m…broken.” He turned away from her.
But he didn’t get very far. She rushed around him, blocking his path. “You are not.” She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “Don’t ever say that. You are perfect.”
He laughed. The reaction was partly beyond his control, but it was also fitting. “I am anything but that. I don’t want to subject you to this—to me.”
She raked him with her gaze from the top of his red hair to the tips of his bare feet. “Too late. You already subjected me to you, and I’m rather fond of you.”
His chest constricted as his heart swelled. “You’ve seen… It can get much worse. Sometimes things come out of my mouth, things I can’t control.”
Her lids drooped over her eyes. “Is that all?”
“The twitching can be…violent. I’ve been known to frighten people, though not as much now.”
She touched his face, her soft hand caressing his stubbled jaw. “How have you borne it? When I think of what you must have endured at school and in London, I am filled with outrage.”
“London was not so terrible, but as you know, school was horrendous. If I hadn’t scored such high marks and earned the care of the head of my college, I am confident they would have sent me home.”
“You have survived.” She stroked his cheek. “As I said before, you are an extraordinary man. I would be proud to call you my husband, if you’ll let me.”
His fear began to ease, but he was still confounded by her reversal. “Why did you change your mind?”
She cupped his face in her hands and stared earnestly into his eyes. “I didn’t change it—you did. You showed me what I would be missing, what I would regret. When you said today that you wouldn’t marry until I did, I knew that I couldn’t consign you to a life of being alone.”
He barked out a laugh. “So you took pity on me?”
She grimaced, letting her hands slide down his neck to his collarbones. “That didn’t come out right. I don’t want you to be alone. More than that, I don’t want you to be with anyone but me.”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. “Good, because I don’t want anyone other than you. You’re certain you can live with my disease?”
“Since I don’t think I can live without you, I would say, definitively, yes.”
“Bee.” He lo
wered his head and brushed his lips against hers. Before he could say he loved her, she kissed him in wild abandon, her mouth opening beneath his.
Her tongue touching his was the spark that set his entire world aflame. Lifting her, he carried her into his bedroom and laid her gently on the bed.
“This seems familiar,” she murmured.
“This night is not going to end the same,” he pledged.
She reached for him as he shrugged out of his banyan. “Good.”
In a flurry of limbs, they disrobed. Ash paused to take in the sheer beauty of her body. He bent his head to worship at her breast, taking her nipple into his mouth and suckling until she threaded her fingers through his hair and cried out his name.
He slid his hand down her belly until he found the curls cloaking her sex. She was hot and wet for him already. The moment he touched her clitoris, she shuddered.
“Please. Ash.”
He stroked her, increasing speed as she moved her hips in concert with his touch.
“Fill me. Now.” The plea was dark and desperate. She grasped at his shoulders as she rose off the bed to meet his caresses.
He slipped his finger into her sheath, filling her as she asked. She whimpered, and he felt her muscles clench around him. He pressed on her clitoris, and she flew apart, her legs shaking as her cries grew higher. He covered her mouth with his, taking her passion into himself.
He didn’t wait for her to return from beyond. Sitting back, he positioned himself at her sex.
Her eyes opened, and the blue of her irises was so clear, so vivid in her wonder, that he paused. He leaned forward and kissed her softly, then eased slowly into her sheath. She sucked in a breath and held it. Her eyes slitted but didn’t close as he continued on. When he was buried completely inside her, he paused, waiting for her to adjust.
“Do you feel all right?” he asked. He hadn’t ever done this with a virgin, and he didn’t want to cause her undue pain.
She finally exhaled. “I think so. It feels strange.”
“My apologies. From what I understand, the next time will be much better for you.”
“Lucky for me, I will have many, many next times with you.”
Love swelled within him. Then she moved, a slight hitch of her hips.
Her eyes widened briefly. “I didn’t mean to do that! I think I twitched.” She giggled.
“You mean my disease is catching?” he asked in mock horror.
“Perhaps, and I don’t care. It’s who you are, and I wouldn’t change a thing about you. Maybe one thing, actually. I think I might like you to move.”
“With pleasure.” He withdrew and thrust gently forward, again and again until her breath began to shorten and her eyes closed in what looked like ecstasy. He clasped her thigh and guided it to his waist. “Wrap your legs around me, love.”
She did just that, opening herself to him so that he sank even deeper into her. She moaned softly. “I think this time is quite nice.” Her legs tightened around him, and he lost conscious thought.
They moved together in an ever-quickening pace, their bodies finding a magical rhythm. He felt the blood rush to his cock and knew he was close. Reaching between them, he stroked her clitoris again, determined to coax another orgasm from her or at least try his damnedest.
Just before he came, her muscles clamped down around him. He cried out her name and thrust deep, spilling himself into her. Pleasure spiraled through him, tossing him into unparalleled bliss.
Some moments later, when he was fully back within himself, he shifted his weight from her. He kissed her cheek, her jaw, her mouth.
She sighed into him as he left her body. He tried to move away, but she held him close. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered. “We should clean up.”
Her eyes opened, and he saw what he felt: bone-deep satisfaction. And, maybe, love.
“I don’t want to go,” she said softly.
“Then don’t. We are betrothed.”
Her lips curled into a smile. “As good as wed. Will I really be the Countess of Buckleigh?”
He nodded, still thinking how strange that sounded.
“I would have been just as happy as Mrs. Rutledge.” She yawned.
Her proclamation warmed him as he left the bed to get a cloth. When he returned, she took the cloth and tidied herself then he tucked her beneath the coverlet. By the time he returned to snuggle beside her, she was already asleep.
Smiling to himself, he pressed his lips to her temple and whispered, “I love you.”
Chapter 9
Though it was melting, snow still dotted the landscape as they traveled to Hartwood. Bianca nestled closer to Ash in his coach, not only for the warmth he offered but because she found she simply liked to be next to him. Her maid and his valet rode behind them in Calder’s coach. Ash had decided to bring his valet in case Calder invited him to stay. Bianca would do everything she could to make that happen.
Now that she decided she couldn’t live without Ash, she wanted their life together to start immediately. “Do we need to have the banns read?”
They’d discussed the timing of the wedding that morning at breakfast. His mother had been overjoyed at the news of their betrothal. She’d also said she wasn’t surprised given their behavior yesterday. Then she’d said the sweetest thing: “It will be so lovely to have a daughter again.”
Fighting back tears, Bianca hadn’t known what to say. She’d never had a mother before.
“Would you rather I buy a license and we marry tomorrow?” Ash asked.
“Could we?”
He laughed. “Not tomorrow, but how about this Thursday?”
“Hmm.” She tapped her finger against her chin, pretending to consider. Dropping her hand to her lap, she grinned at him. “As luck would have it, I am free.”
“Brilliant.” He kissed her as he’d done a dozen or more times on the journey so far. Too bad they were pulling up the drive to Hartwood, or she might have tried to coax him into more than kissing…
The coach rumbled to a stop, and Bianca exhaled in resignation. “I’ll apologize now for my brother’s behavior.” She was a trifle nervous he would say something about Ash’s fighting, but resolved that it didn’t matter.
When they were out of the coach, she took Ash’s arm and gave him an encouraging smile that was as much for him as it was for her. They walked toward the house, and Truro, the butler, opened the door to greet them.
“Welcome home, Lady Bianca,” he said.
“Thank you, Truro. This is the Earl of Buckleigh, my betrothed.” Saying that out loud sparked a rush of joy and excitement. She wanted to shout it from the turret in the northwest corner so all of Hartwood and Hartwell could hear.
Truro was quite possibly the most unflappable butler in the history of butlers. He didn’t register even an inkling of surprise nor did he demonstrate any other emotion. He inclined his head and said, “May I offer my deepest congratulations?”
She beamed at him and at last saw the barest hint of a smile. “Thank you. Will you ask my brother to meet us in the drawing room?”
“Certainly.” He took her cloak and other accessories while a footman took Ash’s things.
Bianca relooped her hand through Ash’s arm and led him through the entrance hall into the inner hall and then right into the drawing room. “My brother is going to be ecstatic to be rid of me.”
“You think so?” Ash asked.
“I know so. He keeps grumbling about me having a Season, and now neither of us has to bother with it.”
They stood in the middle of the drawing room, and Ash turned to her. “Will you be coming to London with me?” They hadn’t gotten to discussing that in the coach.
Bianca hated the prospect of leaving her home, but she hated the prospect of not being with him even more. “Yes. Anywhere we’re together is my home now.”
Smiling, he leaned down to kiss her again, but Calder’s arrival interrupted them.
“What the devil is going o
n?” His angry voice carried through the drawing room. It was the most emotion she’d heard from him since he’d come back to Hartwood. “Truro referred to Buckleigh as your betrothed.” He glowered at Ash.
“You really need to work on polite greetings,” Bianca said with impatience. “It’s nice to see you, Calder. Allow me to present my betrothed, the Earl of Buckleigh.”
“I bloody well know him,” Calder growled. “And he is not your betrothed. I haven’t given you permission to wed. But that is beside the point right now. How is it that you went to Poppy’s and returned home with him?”
Bianca felt Ash stiffen and then a tremor shuddered through him. “I didn’t go to Poppy’s. I was trapped by—”
His eyes snapped with fury. “You didn’t go to Darlington Abbey? You lied to me?”
“I took a detour. I wanted to speak with Ash about where to have the St. Stephen’s Day party.” She sniffed and notched up her chin. “Which we have resolved, thank you very much. Or not, actually, since you’re the reason we had to come up with an alternate location.”
“I don’t give a damn about the bloody party.” He clenched his jaw as he continued to glare at Ash. “And there will be no wedding.”
“There will.” She clutched Ash’s arm and tried to imbue him with her support and love. Love? Oh yes.
Ash twitched several times in quick succession, as well as coughed and cleared his throat.
Calder’s lip curled. “There will not. I won’t allow you to marry Buckleigh. He’s too volatile. Just look at him. It’s as if he can’t control himself.”
“Shut up!” Ash pulled away from Bianca, and for a brief moment, she worried he might go after Calder. Which Calder wholly deserved. “I have a disease, and sometimes—particularly when I’m provoked—it’s beyond my control.” His chest rose and fell rapidly as he fought to regain command of himself.
Bianca touched Ash’s arm but looked to her brother. “I’ll marry whom I choose. I’m of age.”
Calder’s eyes narrowed with distrust as he regarded Ash. Then he turned his attention to Bianca. “While that is true, your settlement is under my control until you are twenty-five. If I don’t approve of your husband, you don’t receive the money.”