“Oh for heaven’s sake, David,” Lilia was saying, “give me that plant. John, would you carry this to the table for me, dear? What do you think, Audrey, is it too big for a centerpiece? Noëlle, get David some champagne, will you?”
They stood staring at each other.
“Champagne?” she finally said.
“Please.”
He followed her to a table where bottles and champagne flutes were arranged around dishes of hors d’oeuvres. A large painting hung above the table. It was a nude in motion. The solid parts of the figure were interspersed with fluid lines. The colors were rich and unexpected, but the effect was as if the heavy impasto was as much actual skin as paint.
“This is beautiful,” he said. “Is it yours?”
She handed him a glass. “Yes.”
He wanted to tell her she was beautiful, too, but he didn’t dare. She wore black again, but this time it was a short, clingy dress with a simple boat neck in front that plunged in back. Whatever questions he had about her real figure compared with the one he had envisioned were clearly answered.
“Why do you stare at me that way?” she asked. “It’s creepy.”
“Oh God, I’m sorry. It’s just that I imagined you for so long. I guess I’m just surprised at how accurate I was.”
“That’s disgusting.”
“Why?”
“You don’t even know me. I don’t want you or anyone else thinking of me that way.”
“What way?”
“You don’t get it, do you? My mother described me so precisely that you were able to paint me as if you knew me. Now my face, and most of my breasts I might add, are plastered all over her novel which is piled in bookshop windows all over the world.” She groaned. “She even gave the character my name.”
“You go by Jeanne,” he said stupidly.
“But most people know me as Jeanne Noëlle.”
“And Burghelle?”
“That was my father’s name.”
“Not Dufort?”
Jeanne Noëlle laughed. “Maman didn’t tell you? No, of course she wouldn’t.”
“Tell me what?”
“Lilia Dufort is a pseudonym.”
“I should have guessed. A lot of writers use pseudonyms.”
“She says she needs to protect her privacy. Unfortunately, she doesn’t see anything wrong with exposing me to the world.”
David looked across the room at Lilia. She was smiling warmly as she bustled among her guests pouring champagne. To him she seemed the essence of kindness and love. “But she made you her heroine,” he said.
“Some heroine.” Jeanne Noëlle took a sip of champagne and coughed when it went down the wrong way. “She nearly burned me at the stake! I love my mother, I really do, but she’s a busybody who has no respect for other people’s boundaries. Don’t think she didn’t tell me all about you.”
“What did she tell you?”
“That your famous father is abusive, and you want to stay in Paris to be as far away from him as possible. And, your fiancée dumped you because you couldn’t speak French...”
“That’s a pretty flat portrait,” he interrupted.
“I’m sorry. I’ve said too much.”
“No, actually you haven’t said enough. And your mother probably didn’t either. The truth is my fiancée dumped me, as you say, because I’m too much like my father. I’m impatient, self-centered and terrified of failure. I was more concerned with my own needs than hers. I’m afraid I did the same thing to you. To me you were a wonderful character in a book. Then I made you into a painting, and I fell in love with the image I created. But that wasn’t you. I’d like to get to know the real you, if you’re willing, and I’d like you to learn first-hand about me.”
Lilia called, “A table, everyone. Dinner is served!”
Jeanne Noëlle looked up at him. David knew that expression. It was the one he had painted. Then she smiled, put her arm through his, and led him to the table.
About the Authors
Michael Attard, “Oh Canada”
Michael Attard grew up in the suburbs of Toronto, Canada, and later attended the University of Toronto, where he pursued a degree in engineering. He decided to follow his childhood interest in astronomy thereafter and completed a PhD in the field in 2009. He has lived and worked in a variety of cities and countries on both sides of the Atlantic, and enjoys a life aimed at gaining as many experiences as possible. Michael currently lives in the Netherlands.
Audrey M. Chapuis, “The French Table, a Test of Mettle”
Audrey M. Chapuis, a native of Austin, Texas, worked as a librarian in Chicago before moving to Paris with her husband in 2014. She writes about travel, library lore, women’s health and art at AudreyMaryChapuis.com. She is also working on a memoir about amateur art appreciation. When she’s not writing or botching French vowels, Audrey can be found walking fast, sketching and getting lost in museums. While she couldn’t be happier living in Paris, she does miss a good burrito.
Adria J. Cimino, “Love Unlocked,” “In the Red” and “Petit Rat”
Adria J. Cimino is the author of several novels, including Paris, Rue des Martyrs, A Perfumer’s Secret, Paris Jungle, and Close to Destiny. Prior to jumping into the book world full time, she spent more than a decade as a journalist at news organizations including The AP and Bloomberg News. In addition to writing fiction, Adria writes about her real-life adventures at AdriaInParis.blogspot.com. You can learn more on Twitter @Adria_in_Paris.
Sarah del Rio, “This One Time in Paris”
Sarah del Rio is a comedy writer whose award-winning humor blog Established1975.com brought snark, levity and perspective to the ladies of Generation X. Despite being a corporate refugee with absolutely no formal training in English, journalism, or writing of any kind, Sarah somehow manages to find work as a freelance writer and editor. She contributes regularly to BLUNTmoms, has made several appearances on the Huffington Post Best Parenting Tweets of the Week List, and her blog won Funniest Blog in The Indie Chicks 2014 Badass Blog Awards. She has also been featured on Scary Mommy, In the Powder Room, and the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop.
DryChick, “La Vie de Vin”
DryChick is a francophile who spent many a day drinking wine in Paris. She became sober or “dry” not long after she moved to London and was struck by how every invitation revolved around drinking. The message was, if you’re not drinking, you’re not having a good time. She knew other teetotalers who would rather stay home than face the barrage of questions about why they’re not drinking. So DryChick created DryScene.com to get non-drinkers off the couch and back on the town. She writes about her often hilarious experiences being sober in social situations in the hopes that it helps people have a healthier attitude about drinking—just like the French used to have.
Leslie Floyd, “La Dame de la Nuit”
Leslie Floyd lived in Paris while attending culinary school at L’Ecole Supérieure de Cuisine Française. She was born and raised in Austin, Texas and is an active member of the Writers’ League of Texas. Leslie has studied extensively under best-selling author Carol Dawson and Texas Monthly Senior Editor Michael Hall. She does calculus for fun, crossword puzzles in ink and fantasizes about a career on Broadway despite a profound lack of talent. Leslie currently cooks, writes and plans future travels in Dallas, Texas with her one-eyed pug, General Cooper, and his sidekick, Sir Ponceycat. Find recipes, reviews and thoughts on the writing life at LeslieFloyd.com.
Jennie Goutet, “Driving Me Crazy”
Jennie Goutet is the author of several books and blogs at ALadyInFrance.com. Jennie was a BlogHer Voice of the Year pick in 2011 and 2013, and her writing has appeared on the Huffington Post, Queen Latifah’s website, BlogHer and Mamalode, among other places. She lives just outside of Paris with her husband and three children.
Amy Lynne Hayes, “(Mis)Adventures at Sacré-Coeur”
Amy Lynne Hayes is a writer and designer based in South Florida. Since her day
s catwalking the Parisian streets, she has lived in Melbourne, Australia and had a brief stint in Auckland, New Zealand. Her expat days may be over (for the time being) but her love for travel, and all things French, remains strong. Paris is in her blood, and it holds on as tight as the French bureaucracy holds on to its passion for paperwork. Give it time, and you might just spot her sipping wine at a café in her old stomping grounds in Le Marais, an expat once again. You just never know.
April Lily Heise, “The Glove”
April Lily Heise, a Canadian based in Paris, is an expert on romance in the City of Amour. When she’s not getting into romantic mischief, she writes on dating, travel and culture for international and local publications including Frommer’s, the Huffington Post, Conde Nast Traveler, City Secrets and DK Eyewitness Guides. She is the author of Je T’Aime, Me Neither, a lively novelized memoir on her romantic misadventures and continues to share dating tips, commentaries, true stories and travel features at JeTaimeMeNeither.com.
Vicki Lesage, “Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs,” “Garden of Eden,” and “French Office Workers vs. Zombies”
Amazon best-selling author Vicki Lesage proves daily that raising two French kids isn’t as easy as the hype lets on. In her snippets of spare time, she writes, sips bubbly, and prepares for the impending zombie apocalypse. She lives in St. Louis (after eleven years in Paris) with her French husband, rambunctious son, and charming daughter, all of whom mercifully don’t laugh when she says “au revoir.” She penned two books, Confessions of a Paris Party Girl and Confessions of a Paris Potty Trainer, in between diaper changes and wine refills. You can read more at VickiLesage.com.
Cheryl McAlister, “A Scoop of Henry” and “Noelle”
Cheryl McAlister is an emerging writer, shifting her creative energies from the visual arts (B.F.A. RISD, M.F.A Vermont College of Fine Arts) to fiber art (spinning and knitting with wool from her own sheep) to the literary arena. Her short story “Bit by Bit” appeared in the November 2014 issue of Black Denim Lit. She lived in Normandy from 1984-1985 and has been a dedicated francophile ever since, visiting France as often as possible. Although cutting back on their self-sufficient farming endeavor to give more time for creative pursuits, Cheryl and her husband, Rick, still produce much of their own meat, garden products, canned goods, cheese and hard cider.
Lucia Paul, “Chaperon et Liberté”
Lucia Paul’s first trip to Paris was at the age of eight with her family. A love of travel, croissants and window-shopping was born. Her writing includes an award-winning sitcom script, and humorous essays for the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, More Magazine, and Midlife Boulevard. Her stories and essays have been published in multiple anthologies including Motherhood May Cause Drowsiness: Funny Stories by Sleepy Moms, Not Your Mother’s Book… On Being a Mom and Not Your Mother’s Book… On Home Improvement. She writes about the humor and joy to be found in family and everyday life at DysfunctionalScrapbooking.blogspot.com and on Twitter @DFscrapbook.
Didier Quémener, “Half Past Midnight” (“Minuit et demi”) and “Le Chemin du Dragon”
Lived in the U.S., now based in France as the executive chef at the Parisian restaurant “Plein Ouest.” Does not wear a beret but eats freshly baked bread every day. Cooked his first meal at age seven, graduated from the Sorbonne, worked as a photographer and finally came back to the kitchen where it all started. Didier is French and American, therefore obnoxious, a wine snob and speaks loudly! When Didier is not cooking, he’s writing. When he’s not writing, he’s playing golf. When he is not playing golf, he’s dreaming of being an orchestra conductor, or a guitar player, or... Back to reality: A husband, a father and a foodie! You can find him on Instagram & Twitter @chefqparis.
Laura Schalk, “The Little Book of Funerals”
Laura Schalk is a lifelong bookworm and lover of words. She’s American, closing in on a decade working and living in Paris after stints in Hong Kong, London and New York. She works in the corporate sector and pursues her love of creative writing sporadically, during intensive workshops in the summer and in stolen moments throughout the year. This is her first published piece in a very long time.
E. M. Stone, “10 Things I Learned When My Daughter Moved to Paris”
E. M. Stone’s books are diverse but all have one thing in common—they reflect her passions. From maintaining a healthy lifestyle (Living the Thin Life) to unearthing mysteries (Aztec Curse) to visiting her daughter in Paris (this anthology), she writes what she knows and loves. She’s never far from her computer; by day she helps other authors publish their books, by night she writes her latest inspiration. When she does step away from the screen, she enjoys spending time with her husband, kids, and grandkids in their hometown of St. Louis.
Brooke Takhar, “All the Wheat”
Brooke Takhar is a Vancouver-based mama to one goon and busy body to all. She loves the Internet, glittery nail polish, over-sharing and teaching her kid outdated dance moves. She blogs as MissTeenUSSR.com and is a regular contributor to BLUNTmoms.
Marie Vareille, “La Vie en Rose”
Marie Vareille is a French chick-lit author and also writes YA fiction. She wanted to be a writer since the day she learned to read and made her dreams come true. She blogs at Marie Lit En Pyjama and you can follow her at MarieVareille.com or on Twitter @Marie_Vareille.
Frédérique Veysset, “Violette”
Frédérique Veysset, a native Parisian, has co-authored three fashion books: Paris Street Style: A Guide to Effortless Chic, You’re So French Men! and Paris Street Style Shoes! and is the author of Daho dans tous ses états, a book about musician Etienne Daho. As a photographer, her subjects have included actresses Isabelle Adjani and Vanessa Paradis, and her work has appeared in Vanity Fair and Allure. Learn more about Frédérique at Frederique-Veysset.com.
Lisa Webb, “The Best Thing About Living in Paris”
Five years ago, Lisa Webb and her husband swapped their home in Canada for an apartment in Paris. They’ve now lived in quite a few countries with their two baguette-eating daughters, and life has become beautiful chaos. When her family isn’t in the land of wine and cheese, they can be found exploring the globe with way too much luggage. Lisa writes about her adventures at CanadianExpatMom.com, and on Huffington Post, BLUNTmoms and Parentdish.
Anna Weeks, “An Attempt to Explain the Paris Fandom”
Anna is an aimless wanderer, currently meditating on what’s next for her. She is an avid reader who sometimes writes sarcastic reviews of erotic short stories for various bloggers around the interwebs. Due to a silver-lined layoff from her corporate job, Anna recently moved to Omaha, Nebraska with her rowdy cat in order to pursue her creative interests. With the help of her best friend, she created, produces and stars in the Type Omaha podcast, which explores the cultural oddity that is the city of Omaha. You can follow her on Twitter @anna_saurus_rex and follow her podcast @TypeOmaha.
April Weeks, “Whine Country”
April is an attorney, cheese-monger and blogger extraordinaire. She lives in Atlanta with a young monster, two matching Siamese cats and her ever-patient and understanding husband. When she’s not reading or chasing ambulances she… well, reads some more. She desperately misses living in Europe and is willing to negotiate her immortal soul for a legal job in London. Since she’s a reader, not a writer, she has published nothing else of interest, unless you’re interested in papers on American tax law.
David Whitehouse, “Les Urgences”
David Whitehouse finds non-fiction easier and less revealing than fiction. He has written a book on the question of Rwandan genocide suspects in France, In Search of Rwanda’s Génocidaires: French Justice and the Lost Decades. He was the ghostwriter for the autobiography of long-time Cambodia opposition leader Sam Rainsy, We Didn’t Start the Fire: My Struggle for Democracy in Cambodia.
Acknowledgements
A big thank you to all the writers who shared their work in the first edition of That’s Paris and to th
ose in this second edition. Merci for writing about this amazing city! Paris is an unending source of inspiration; the City of Light will forever illuminate creative minds like yours.
Thank you to Ellen Meyer for making the anthology look lovely, and merci to Gisèle Quémener for assisting with the French editing.
A thank you to Velvet Morning Press for publishing the first edition of the book, which allowed many unknown authors to experience the joy of being published and many experienced authors a chance to write about this great city.
And finally, thank you, readers and Paris-lovers. Hopefully this anthology has transported you to the beauty and diversity of Paris.
A Note from the Editor
Dear Reader,
Thanks for reading That’s Paris. Each author in this collection shares their own take on life, love and sarcasm in the City of Light. Do their stories (whether fiction or nonfiction) mirror your experiences? Bring back memories? Inspire you to travel? Make you long for more French food, sights and romance?
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