When I woke up on Saturday morning, I felt much better, and worse at the same time. I didn’t want to think about what had happened, so I did my best to forget it, and the hours passed.
It wasn’t until later when I’d had plenty of time to process things, and thinking of how I’d acted, that I felt ashamed.
What am I, a big baby?
Mom was right when she said I was acting selfishly. I’d expected her to move on eventually, so what if she didn’t tell me? She still had the right to live her life as she pleased. And, if the man she chose to marry just happened to be the dad of the boy I was seeing, then that wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t have known. If I had my way, she never would.
There was only one thing I didn’t think I could ever resolve. After this, I didn’t think there could be anything between Noah and me. Fucking my own stepbrother would just feel wrong, now that I knew.
My first priority had to be Mom. I’d left her upset yesterday. I had to make it up to her.
I picked up my phone to send her a quick message, and sighed unhappily when she sent one back nearly two minutes later that said something came up and she went back home. I bit my lip, guilt a weight almost too heavy to take. I’d walked out on her and hadn’t said anything for hours, so it was a stretch to expect her to wait around for me, but that wasn’t what bothered me the most. Mom had come down to surprise me, and instead of being happy, I made her feel so bad that she left without letting me know. I didn’t want to create distance between Mom and me. I might not know Greg, but I’d still want to see my mom no matter what.
The decision was a quick one to make. I got showered and changed and picked up my bag to leave. I thought about packing some clothes but realized there was no need. I was going to go home to talk to Mom, I still had stuff there to wear.
Home wasn’t too close to school. It was a few hours away by car, and after calling for a car to take me, I was on my way. I still had classes Monday, but I could return after spending one night at home. The first since I got into the school.
I was back home before lunchtime. I didn’t let her know I was on my way, so I was anxious as I rang the bell and waited for her to open the door for me. After what happened, I didn’t expect her to be happy to see me, but she would at least let me into the house. The door opened a moment later, and Mom was there with a polite smile at the ready, only for it to drop the moment she saw me.
“Sara,” she breathed out, eyes wide with her surprise.
I tried to smile, but I wasn’t sure how well it worked.
“Can I come inside?” I asked tentatively.
She blinked, and immediately moved to the side, to give me room to walk into my home. I waited for her to close the door behind us, then we both walked over to the living room. I didn’t like that it felt like I was a visitor in my own house. We sat awkwardly next to each other on the couch. Mom looked down as she played with her fingers in her lap, and I didn’t know where to start. It just wasn’t us, and I felt tears sting my eyes.
“Oh, Mom,” I whispered. “Of course, I’m happy for you. I’m really sorry about that day.”
She looked up and met my eyes, her own looking a little wet as she smiled.
“There’s no reason for you to say sorry,” she sighed. “I know it’s a big change, and I knew it would be a surprise to you. But I didn’t want to interrupt your studies, and… I was a little worried about how you would take it.”
“I do still miss Dad,” I agreed. “Even after ten years, but I’m not going to begrudge you being happy. I definitely support you.”
Mom threw her arms around me before I finished speaking, and I hugged her back. I didn’t want to cry, but when I heard Mom sniffle over my shoulder, my own eyes filled with tears until they dripped, and I buried my face in her neck.
We both had a short little cry before we pulled apart. Our gazes met, and we both laughed a little as we wiped away the tears and calmed down.
“I really am sorry,” I murmured, showing an expression full of consternation. “I was just surprised when it was Noah that showed up. I know him, I’ve seen him around campus.”
“That’s fine, honey. You can try and talk to him a little, too. He’s probably having a hard time with this, just like you. He only found out hours before you did.”
My eyebrows jumped up. “He did?”
She nodded. “His dad called him, and we invited him to join us for lunch. But he wasn’t feeling well, so he left without eating.”
I frowned, looking down. So, he really did find out the same day I did.
Mom, as if seeing my dropping mood, grabbed my hand. I looked up, and she smiled.
“It’ll be an adjustment,” she said. “For me and you both. Trust me, we both miss your dad, but I think it’s enough time?”
I pursed my lips. “It’s not just about time, okay? The way you’ve been the past ten years, I wanted you to be happy, but I honestly didn’t think you’d marry again. You and Dad were so in love with each other, I was a kid back then, but I could tell because I never saw any of my friends’ parents be that close. He was amazing, to the both of us, the nicest guy out there to just about anyone. A great man. When he was gone, we both locked ourselves away from the world.”
She nodded. “I remember. Your dad really was a great man, Sara. That hasn’t changed, neither does the fact that I loved him, just because I have a new man in my life now. I’ve found love, Sara. Something I never thought I would have again. It makes me happy.”
I smiled, even though I felt brittle on the inside.
“Then, I’m happy for you, Mom.”
Her hand squeezed around mine as her smile widened.
It’s going to be okay, I told myself. It has to be.
As for the issue with Noah… I’d just have to avoid him. There was no way for the two of us to be together when we were siblings now, even if it was just stepsiblings. There was nothing for Mom to know, either.
Then, someone walked into the room, and I looked up, mood dropping when I saw it was Greg.
Of course, he would be here; I tried to tell myself.
The two of them were now married, and Mom still lived at home, where else would he be?
“Oh, Sara,” he said, looking at me in surprise. “I didn’t know you were coming.”
I smiled and hoped it looked natural. “I just stopped by to talk things out with Mom. She didn’t know, either.”
“Ah.” He nodded. “Well, this is your home after all, so it’s a given that you’re welcome here. Stay as long as you need.”
I nodded back, wondering if I really needed to stay home over the weekend, or if I could just go back earlier…
“Oh, Tina,” he said, turning to Mom. “Have you done the bank transfer yet?”
Mom sniffled, patting the edges of her eyes with her fingers. “Not yet, Greg. I’m sorry. Sara showed up, and I forgot to do it. I’ll do it after lunch.”
“Ah, good,” he said, smiling.
Then, he turned and left.
I blinked at the exchange and turned to Mom.
“What did he mean, bank transfer?” I asked, feeling suspicious.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Mom said dismissively. “Greg just has this new business venture, and he’s been having trouble getting investors, so I offered him the money. I don’t know a lot about business, but the proposal he gave me looked pretty good.”
What the heck?
They only just got married, and he was asking for money from her? That wasn’t something a new husband would do, right? My suspicions grew.
“Mom, when did you get married?” I asked.
She blinked. “Um, not too long ago. Maybe a week before we came to visit you? I really wanted a small wedding, but he thought it would be better if we registered first, then wait for you and Noah to have the time so we could do the wedding.”
I nodded slowly. “Mom, can you do me a favor? Hold off on transferring the money for a bit? Just give me some time, I’d like to talk to No
ah first.”
My mind had gotten a lot clearer, Noah told me he had something important to tell me to do with our parents. And the fact that his father had gambled away his college funds.
“Um, okay?” Mom said, looking confused. “Sure, honey. I can do that.”
I sighed.
“I’ll be going back to school, then, but I’ll see you soon, okay?” There was no way I could spend the night as I planned now.
She still looked confused, but she hugged me back when I threw my arms around her, then walked me to the door.
Even though I’d just thought about avoiding him some minutes ago, I knew it wasn’t possible. Whatever Noah had to tell me, I was ready to listen. My stomach rumbled in protest because I hadn't eaten anything yet, but I ignored it as I once again called for a car to take me back to school.
Chapter Sixteen
Sara
It was late in the afternoon by the time arrived back at campus. I wanted to find Noah quickly, but I wasn’t sure where to go and search. Would he be in his room? Or out? I thought about calling him before I decided not to out of shame. It took me two weeks to finally build up the courage to try and call him.
What would I do if he didn’t pick up my call? It had been days since he last tried to contact me.
It was a busy time on the campus. People were walking around, either coming in from activities they’d done outside or going out to have fun. Since it was the weekend, a lot of students did stuff like going to the movies, going out to eat or to sightsee. I noticed a few people look at me as they passed me, but ignored it as I looked around, wondering where I should start to look. Maybe I should start with the dorms, Noah was surprisingly not the kind of guy that liked going out much…
Then, I heard it.
“Hey, isn’t that her? The girl that’s with that Sext Me guy?”
I overheard the two girls that I’d just passed say. I’d noticed the way they watched me, so I knew I was the person they were talking about. I blinked, paying attention even though I didn’t want to. I’d gotten used to people and the way they talked about me behind my back, but this seemed to involve Noah too. I knew not to look right at them, they’d stop their gossip and I wanted to know what this was all about.
As much as I would rather ignore it all, I was worried. Besides, I hadn't been paying attention much, and what if Alicia and Caroline really did spread rumors about me because I didn’t pay them?
“That Sext Me guy, right? I guess she really was paying him? Because nobody has seen them together lately and now it’s suddenly back in action. It wasn’t cheap, to begin with, but now? I heard she’s rich, too.”
“Wow, I’m so jealous…”
My expression blanked out in panic at the first part. Did people really think I paid Noah for his time? Even though it wasn’t all we did, because there were days we met up just to hang around each other, everyone would think Noah was fucking me for money. This wasn’t the kind of rumor that would be easy to kill.
Crap.
It would be hell if it spread.
Then, the rest of it registered in my mind, and I was confused for a second, then I was angry. Sext Me was back online? Just because our parents were married and I had a hard time with that?
That fucking dog!
I ignored that it was my idea to go our separate ways as anger flooded me . I wasn’t over him, and already he was getting other girls to pay him for sex? I’d only ever paid that first time. If he really did need money, then was he still doing this before I walked away from him?
No way, right?
I didn’t want to believe it, but it was the worst kind of news to hear when I needed to talk to him. I stopped hesitating and headed for his dorm room. If I didn’t find him in there, then I’d keep calling until he picked up.
When I knocked on his door, it was opened up by one of his roommates, a guy I’d only seen a couple times when I was leaving Noah’s dorm room. We’d pretty much stuck to going to my place after that. Since he knew me, he walked back inside, leaving the door open for me. I went in. Noah was there, reclining back on his bed. His roommate sat at the desk, staring at his computer, though he was so still, I knew he was listening in.
I didn’t care.
Noah was reclining in his bed with an arm behind his head, looking relaxed with his other hand holding his phone up to his face.
“Who is it,” he said, looking up, only to freeze.
He blinked, looking at me in surprise.
“Sara,” he murmured.
Him saying my name just made me even angrier. “I’m gone for five fucking minutes, and you’re fucking other girls, Noah?”
He blinked some more, looking stunned. Slowly, he sat up.
“Um, not exactly,” he said. “It hasn’t been five minutes, Sara. It’s been over two weeks since you last spoke to me. I tried calling, coming to your room, tried to find you around campus. You didn’t want to know what I had to say, so you shut me out. Remember?”
He said it all so calmly that my anger had nowhere to go. Because it was all the truth, I was the one that put the distance between us, so he had every right to do whatever he wanted. If it had been long enough, and I’d gotten over it, I would have felt a little sad and then ignored it, but that wasn’t the case. Still, I couldn’t help feeling hurt that he’d gotten over me that quickly.
Even if we weren’t formally dating, didn’t I mean anything to him at all?
“Hey, get out.”
I stiffened, thinking he meant me, but he was eyeing his roommate, who didn’t even move at the order. Noah frowned.
“Dude, I know you heard me. You can come back later; please get out for now.”
The roommate sighed, then got up with an aggrieved look at Noah. He closed the laptop and picked it up, before walking out of the room.
“I’ll be back tonight,” he warned, then closed the door behind him.
Noah and I were left alone in the room, and suddenly, I felt awkward. I kept my gaze on his chest because I was too afraid to see whatever expression he’d have on his face. I fidgeted a little, shifting on my feet, playing with my fingers. When he didn’t speak, I broke down first.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “For pushing you away like that. I know it was the wrong thing to do, but I’ve been so confused, I didn’t know what to do. My mother showed up and told me she had a new husband when I didn’t even know she was seeing someone, and it just had to be your dad. They’re living together at my home now…”
“I was just as surprised as you,” he said. “I knew he met someone, but I didn’t think it went as far as marriage. I only met her a day before I realized she was your mom. Then you wouldn’t even talk to me, Sara. So why are you here?”
I winced. Did he want me to leave?
It was understandable that he was angry. I had been myself not too long ago, but now, I was just worried. I should have more faith in Noah, but it wasn’t like I could blame him if he actually did go back to being paid for sex.
“Did… did you…” I tried to ask, my voice lowering to a whisper. I couldn’t force the whole thing through the lump in my throat, but he understood me.
Noah sighed. “No, Sara, I’m not doing that again. I told you already, I retired. That hasn’t changed. People have just been talking about it since… well, if you haven’t heard of it, then that’s fine.”
My eyes rose to his face. He wasn’t looking at me. His hands were tucked into his pockets and wore an awkward expression. I wondered what had happened, before I decided it didn’t matter.
It had been two weeks since we had been alone with each other. My body moved on its own, took a few steps forward, but I didn’t stop. I moved in front of him and reached my hands up to cup his cheeks. He looked at me and moved as I tugged him a little lower, going to the tips of my toes to press my lips against his, giving him a short kiss.
“I missed you,” I admitted, pulling back to meet his conflicted eyes.
Chapter Seventeen
Noah
It had been two weeks. Two long weeks where I didn’t even get to see Sara, so when she kissed me and I had her in my arms again, it was like a dream. I couldn’t hold back, as I wrapped my arms around her and brought her in for another kiss, this one longer, deeper. She whimpered against my lips, and my arms tightened reflexively around her.
“Sara,” I breathed her name against her lips. I wanted to kiss her again, but as she panted for breath her chest pushed against mine, and I groaned in need. I wanted to feel more of her. “Damn, Sara.”
She initiated the kiss again and kept her arms wrapped around my neck to hold me close as she took the lead. Sara nibbled on my lips, nudged them apart with her tongue, tasted me inside. I sucked lightly on her tongue and felt her weight settle even more against me.
“I’m not sure I can stay standing if we do this,” she breathed out.
I paused, but only for a moment. Then, I was walking her backward until her back hit the door. I loved the way she gasped then, her eyes bright with excitement. I kissed her deeply while I pressed her body against the door.
“I missed you, too,” I said, moving from her mouth to press kisses all over her neck. “So much, Sara. I was so worried you would never talk to me again.”
The emotions that had never disappeared washed over me, and I paused. I’d tried several times to talk to her in the days since the disastrous meeting at that hotel. But she let all my calls go unanswered, the same with any messages I left, and when she saw me, she’d immediately hurry in the opposite direction. Even with all the time I used trying to track her down, I still couldn’t manage to get her off my mind.
My friends thought it was hilarious. Of course, they didn’t know the whole story. As far as they knew, I’d had a little fight with my girlfriend over the Sext Me thing. I didn’t tell them myself, but they heard the rumors, and I neither confirmed nor denied. Every single one of them kept giving me advice that I had to wait for her to cool down before trying to talk to her, especially if she was ignoring my calls.
Sext Me (Accidental Stepbrother Book 2) Page 9