“I know. You’d be doing us a huge a favor.”
I feel myself weakening. With every minute spent in his presence, I long for more.
“Okay. My last attempt and then I promise, no more pressure,” he says.
I eye him wearily.
“You want to see the Lite-Brite?”
My eyes widen. “Are you serious?”
“It’s only a smaller prototype for testing, but yeah.”
I glance around though I don’t know why. “Am I allowed to?”
He hesitates a moment. “Define ‘allowed.’”
I freeze.
“No, I’m kidding. It’s fine since you’re with me.”
I still hesitate.
“It’s a laser,” he singsongs.
“Ooh, a laser,” I say, lifting a pinky to the side of my mouth in my best Dr. Evil impression. Immediately I regret it when Nathaniel stills. My nerdy impression is at least two decades off-trend.
But not a second later, in a similarly exaggerated voice he says, “For one million dollars.”
I suck in my lips to keep from smiling too big. He shakes his head, looking at me in that fuzzy way again as we walk out the building. “Oh, yeah. You’re going to fit right in.”
My heart skips. Look at little ol’ me finding a place to finally fit in.
It’s not fair.
As we walk outside, he explains the badging system. “Only Kate, Jared, and I have red badges.”
“Are those like red shirts? Are you the first to die?”
He barks out a laugh and I can’t help but feel a swell of pride.
“Red indicates the highest clearance. And red badges can only bring approved guests that have gone through security. I know you’ve worked on the base for a while, so you get the importance and strictness of security. You see a yellow badge walking alone around here, you tell someone right away. It might make you feel like a tattletale, but trust me, there’s no reason for a yellow badge to be in this building at all. Red and orange. And only those with red in the test range.”
“Got it.” I nod seriously, flashing my orange badge like in a bad cop movie. He’s talking as though I am on the team again. I don’t correct him.
“I can’t take you into the actual testing area.” At the threshold of the squat, cement building, Nathaniel pauses to press his badge to the keypad at the door. It beeps and he enters a code. I stay a few feet back and study the tall pines that surround the base tucked into the side of the mountain.
He catches my gaze. “They say there’s hidden labs in those hills. Secret aliens and all that.” He wiggles bushy eyebrows.
“No, not aliens,” I say seriously. “Bigfoot. Everybody knows that.”
He laughs and opens the door. “Come on.” He gestures me in while holding the door open for me.
I brush past him through the small entryway. Close but not quite touching. His warmth tickles down my neck and I flush imagining those long arms wrapping me in a hug. Lordy. Immediately upon entering the test range, I regret this decision. It’s dark. And small. Nathaniel is too close to me by necessity. If I start to lose control in this space, there’ll be no hiding it.
I’m a professional. I take a deep breath in and think about yellowing toenails. If that doesn’t kill the mood, nothing will.
“Lite-Brite is groundbreaking. If everything goes to plan, a satellite will orbit the earth, collect pure solar energy, and convert it for use on earth. It’s technology we’ve only dreamed about, but now we’re closer than ever. Imagine the possibilities. All the lives that could be saved. The pollution curbed.” Nathaniel chats happily and I almost miss it because I’m so entranced in the way his mouth moves.
Focus, you newb.
“Unfortunately, this is as far as we can go,” he says.
We’re in a small hallway, not even ten feet long, and we’ve come to a stop about halfway down. There’s a room behind thick glass that’s so dark a normal person would only see blackness and the occasional blinking light. My mutation allows me to see the shape of every piece of complicated machinery. It’s like looking at something underwater. Not crystal clear, but enough to make out the general shapes. The back wall is covered in blinking servers and the fans are loud enough to be audible through the glass. A row of desks from the seventies sits with computers that look like they run on DOS.
He flicks a switch and the room lights up, showing everything in more detail. Short, squat machines with narrowing tips sit in a circle toward the center of the room.
“Those almost look like Daleks from Doctor Who,” I say.
He bends lower next to me so that his face is inches from mine, like he’s trying to see things from my height. As he tilts his head to the side a curl tickles my cheek.
“Huh.” He turns to smile at me. “I never noticed that, but they do.”
The action brings our faces too close. My heart is hammering so hard he must hear it. I turn my head to look back into the room and he does the same in my periphery. He shifts to stand up as he clears his throat.
“There are a lot of super cool things happening in there. It’s like magic,” he whispers. “It’s basically a two-million-dollar Faraday cage.”
“Sweet,” I whisper.
Nathaniel’s passion is infectious. It’s clear in his tone. He loves what he does so much. He cares so much. He explained the way his technology might change the world. I could see that enthusiasm as he lovingly introduced the members of his team as though they were his family. A voice in the back of my mind yells about how nice being a part of that might be.
And I have it so bad for him.
I swallow with effort and pretend I don’t feel the heat of him at my back.
His voice is right behind me. I can’t physically touch him, but I long to lean back into him. My body is practically pushing me towards him. He takes up so much space. I want to turn around and sniff his neck, like a freak. Being here in this dark hallway, closed in with his effervescent personality and masculine scent, is physically triggering my illness. It’s like I didn’t just discharge a couple days ago. The low grows deep within me, which shouldn’t be happening. I don’t usually start to lose control until much later in the month.
My heart starts to race. Nervous sweat prickles my armpits. This isn’t right. My attraction to him is not only inappropriate, but extremely dangerous for him. One glance at my hands and I know I’m getting too close to the edge. I pull my sleeves down and tuck my hands into my armpits.
My breaths come shorter. My chest rises and falls quickly. The tips of my toes start to tingle with panic.
“Julia?” he asks gently. I’m mortified. “Are you okay?”
I can’t speak. I’m afraid if I try to talk I will shoot light out of my mouth. At this point, it’s a real possibility. I shake my head.
“What is it?” He puts his hand on my shoulder. I jump as I feel the flame in me flick up my throat. He pulls his hand back so fast. “Shit. Sorry. I forgot.”
I just shake my head again.
“Let’s get out of here,” he says cautiously. I simply nod in response.
We’re outside a second later. I step far, far away from him. I place my hands on my knees and take deep breaths, gulping in air. Nathaniel gives me space, seeming to understand. I’m grateful for the midday sun hopefully concealing the glow that could be spreading up the rest of my body.
Finally, after a minute or so, the glowing in my hands go back to normal. I have no idea how I’m going to explain what just happened. I so badly wanted to be normal for him and the team, just for a few hours.
I’m so embarrassingly attracted to you that my stupid body is trying to combust, Big Cheese.
I stand up straight again to find Nathaniel watching me closely. I worry my bottom lip.
“Claustrophobic?” he asks, head tilted and eyebrows creased with worry.
My shoulders collapse forward in relief at the simple excuse he hands to me.
“Yes,” I lie. Easily. “
So much.”
He starts to step forward only to think better of it and stops. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t even think to explain … The walls are filled with—well, it’s for safety, but it’s expensive and so the building is very small. Dylan refuses to go in there.”
He’s rambling and I’m only half-listening because even now he’s so damn endearing in his concern.
“I’m okay.” I hold up a hand to gently cut him off. “I’m embarrassed, but I’m okay.”
“Please don’t be embarrassed. It’s a normal reaction to that sort of environment.”
“Let’s just pretend it didn’t happen,” I say with a forced smile.
“Okay.” He nods. “Deal.”
Normal reaction? Nothing about that or me is normal. How could I possibly accept a job that had me this close to the edge within just the first hour?
I had been so close to saying yes, so close to giving in to Nathaniel. This reaction is the reminder that I needed.
There is no normal for me.
5
Nathaniel
“Well, that went swimmingly,” I say to the empty room as my head thumps to my desk.
The door to my office is closed as a sign to the team that I’m working and need to focus. Really I just need a few minutes alone to process the past hour with Julia.
I wince at the image of her pale and shaking. I had one job: convince her to join the team. Yet I managed to completely mess even that up. “So much for a great first impression.”
Out team needed help. We could not afford to lose another DM this late in the contract. Learning about Julia’s last-minute availability felt like a gift before I went and scared the shit out of her.
I scrub my hands through my hair. Things had been going so well before that too.
The chair squeaks as I lean all the way back to stare at the ceiling. I can’t help the smile that tugs up the corners of my mouth as I think about her. She’s a little weird and dorky. Like me. Like us. She’s perfect for the team. I could tell with each interaction—from the small smiles they gave me when she played with the toys lining their desks—that they felt the same. She teased easily, matching each personality seemingly effortlessly.
I don’t let myself think about her mysterious brown eyes as they blinked up at me. At the long dark curls that carried the scent of sweet flowers I can’t name. I won’t think about the current of tension that seemed to run between us the entire meeting. Surely, I made that up.
“No, no.” I chastise myself.
It’s bad news to think that way. Plus, if I did feel any sort of attraction to her, it may be a moot point anyway. After leaving the lab, she said she’d take the night to think about it, but we needed her yesterday. I’m asking for a few weeks, and even that is a big ask.
Maybe I had pushed too hard? My size can be intimidating. I think again of how Julia pulled back when I reached for her. Did I scare her or was it just her disorder? The idea that she might think I could hurt her, or anybody, makes me sick. If she only knew how wrong she was.
I grab the stress ball and squeeze it, unable to sit still any longer. There is too much to do to sit here dwelling. We’d figure it out. My team always does.
There’s a knock at my door and I let out a long breath. I relax my shoulders from my ears and call, “Come in.”
I sit up straighter when Ken, the liaison for the labs, strolls in. He shuts the door behind him. He’s impeccably dressed in a tailored suit and his black and silver hair is neatly trimmed, like always. Once again, I’m thankful I decided to make an effort today. As the liaison for the labs, Ken has to meet with customers weekly and maintain an air of importance.
His mouth is set in a flat line and the clear tension in his crossed arms ratchets my shoulders back up to my ears.
“Ken, how’s it going?” I ask, gesturing to one of my office chairs.
He shakes his head once. “I can’t stay.” He glances at his very expensive watch. “I’ve got another meeting in five.”
“What can I do for you?” I keep my tone light, like I don’t know that I’m about to get another talking to.
“I just got off the phone with General Smith. He’s been looking over last month’s financial reports on Lite-Brite. To say he’s displeased is an understatement.”
I nod and keep my jaw clenched tight. General Smith should be discussing the financials with me and not the lab liaison. This is my job. I get that he wants the labs to look good but because the two men are friends, I often feel like I’m being pushed to the side. I tread lightly however, because it was Ken that ultimately took a chance on Shemesh-Tek and I need him in my corner.
“You’re behind schedule. You are over budget. Your documents are weeks late,” he continues.
I appreciate Ken. Mostly. He exudes that cold, old-guy confidence that people still seem to rely on so much. He keeps the military happy because of his years served in the Air Force. He thinks old school and doesn’t like or understand that the world is changing. He and my father would get along swimmingly. But my work is about the future. Before I can get there, I have to play the game a little longer.
Ken doesn’t understand this project. He’s the smooth, silver-haired figure that schmoozes the customer; I’m the gremlin in the basement building the tech. He has no idea how hard this team works, how their home lives suffer. I know we are struggling with some of the paperwork, but all that stuff … it’s just procedure and bureaucratic necessity. The technology the team and I are developing can change the world.
“The team is all pulling overtime for a few weeks to help fix the gap in our schedule. I will make the deadline,” I assure. Even if I have to live at the office, I finish to myself.
Ken uncrosses his arms. “You can’t afford to lose this contract. I took a chance hiring you.”
“I understand,” I say, knowing that’s what he needs to hear.
“What about that new girl for DM?” he asks.
I cringe at his use of “girl.”
“Julia. She’s extremely smart. Highly recommended. She’s going to be a great fit for the team.” I don’t explain that she technically hasn’t accepted the position yet. Thinking of her again compounds the growing anxiety in my chest.
“Just make sure she gets these docs done,” he says.
I nod.
“Don’t disappoint me, Nathaniel. There’s too much riding on the line. We have to be better.”
We? I don’t remember him being here with the team late each night.
The team is already working too much. I haven’t been home at a reasonable hour in weeks. If Lincoln comes by, I don’t even know because by the time I get home it’s so late I pass out into bed.
“Testing started this past weekend,” I say. “The results are very good. As soon as testing of the prototype is done, we can start production. That’s where we can make up the slack.”
“I’m counting on you for this. This is your chance to show you’re more than a toy tinkerer, and a real leader.”
Internally I wince. This program is the first major government contract my small startup has won. If we nail this contract—by delivering the product on time and within budget—we will earn more opportunities, more business, more security. I think about a future of running contract after contract. I’m good at it, but I’d rather just “tinker” with my toys in my labs. But that’s not going to bring my team the success they deserve.
“Thank you,” I finally manage.
Ken leaves and I don’t have another minute alone until almost seven p.m. when the last engineer finally leaves for the day. I catch up on a hundred different things: proposals, tech specs for the current contract, bids for new projects—because there always needs to be another project in the works—and a hundred miscellaneous emails that I’ve been neglecting. It’s important I’m the first to arrive and the last to leave. The team need to see I’m serious.
It’s almost ten when I look up again. Shit. Tilting my head from side to side to r
elease some of the tension, I pick up the landline and dial Lincoln.
“New phone. Who dis?” he answers.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “The hours slipped away.”
“Don’t worry. I’m just sitting here eating all your cereal.”
“If all my Fruity Pebbles are gone, I will make you pay.”
He chomps and slurps loudly. “Mm, sugary goodness.”
“Get in okay?” I ask.
“Always.”
Lincoln is a smaller, lighter, more refined version of myself. Younger by twelve years. We both favor our father even though we have different mothers. He seemed to get a healthy dose of good looks from his gorgeous mother. My mother was beautiful, but she passed on her optimism and her willingness to fight for life to me.
What remains unsaid hangs in the air. Is he angry tonight? Is that why you’re at my house?
Instead, I say, “You better not watch that new James Roe movie without me.”
“Too late.”
“You shit.” I soften my words with a smile he can’t see. He likely didn’t watch it.
“If you were home more this wouldn’t be an issue.” His voice is high and innocent.
“I know. Soon. This contract is going to take Shemesh-Tek to the next level.”
“You keep saying that,” he says.
“Because it’s true.”
“I’m looking out for you, man. Your house smells stale. You’re never going to get a lady if you live at work.”
Weirdly, an image of Julia flashes in my brain. Her fluffing the pillows of my couch, shooting a smile at me over her shoulder as I watch her bend over. I push the idea away quickly. I haven’t gotten where I am in this business by looking at people as anything but peers. Sure, she’s quirky and beautiful and funny and smart. She literally seems to glow with life, but I won’t treat her as anything other than a valuable asset to the team. Eventually, she’ll have to leave anyway, even if she stays a few more weeks for us.
Why was I even thinking about Julia? Hoping to block out such useless thoughts, I grab a magnetic toy from my desk and fidget.
The Untouched: THE UNSEEN SERIES, #2 Page 4