by Emma Scott
Normal people. Is that what we are?
I smiled and glanced at the clock. A little after four. Cas would be done with his classes soon. NYU’s newest associate professor of Ancient Civilizations was also the youngest person to ever hold the post. The board of trustees had been ready to dismiss his application, having no résumé, no teaching experience, and no credentials of any kind. But whoever had given Cas back to me, had given us a little help, too. On that rainy morning, we found a wallet in his jeans pocket with a thousand dollars in cash and a social security card with his name on it.
“The money’s from Ambri,” he’d said, smiling fondly. “I was going to pay you back with it. And this…”
The social security card was his passport to this lifetime.
With my help, we put together a presentation that left NYU slack-jawed at his expertise. To explain his uncommon talent, he told them his family had taken great care to pass down the traditions of his heritage, generation after generation. It was a weak explanation at best, but while some archeologists and linguists could speak Sumerian, Cas was fluent. He unlocked doors to pronunciation and context that had been mysteries for thousands of years.
Now, major museums across the globe were sniffing out NYU’s prodigy, calling on him to translate broken or faded tablets, identify and date artifacts, and generally fill in the missing pieces of Mesopotamian history with information no one could’ve possibly known…unless they’d lived it.
Outside, the November sky was leaden and gray. It was going to be cold tonight, the perfect night to cuddle up on the couch and watch Schitt’s Creek, wrapped securely in Cas’s arms. Then he’d take me to bed. We’d bring each other to one crashing orgasm after another, then lie tangled up together, whole and perfect.
I was at the window, watering Edgar Junior, when it came over me…that overwhelming feeling of being so impossibly happy, it was almost scary. Maybe it wasn’t real. Maybe I’d wake up from this crazy dream to find it was no different than waking from the dreams of Japan or Russia. My bed would be empty, and that sense of incompletion would swoop in…
I heard Cas come in, muttering a curse at the boxes near the door.
“Hey,” I called without turning, making my tone as light as possible. “How was your day? Did you—?”
My question dissolved into a soft moan as Cas slipped his arms around my waist and put his mouth to my neck. Pleasant shivers rippled through me as his teeth nipped, his tongue and lips migrating up to my ear.
“Did I miss you?” he finished. “Yes. Did I daydream about having you? Yes. Did I fantasize about taking you on my lectern in class, or on my desk in my office, or up against the wall in the hallway…?”
“That’s a lot of places,” I managed weakly, melting against him. “What’s gotten into you?”
“The subject for today’s lesson was sex and marriage rites an ancient Sumer,” he said. “You have no idea how difficult it is to describe your own wedding night to a room full of college students without getting an erection.”
I laughed, but it faded fast, and he felt my tension.
“What’s wrong? I didn’t actually give particulars of our night—”
“No, of course you didn’t.” I turned in the circle of his arms and stopped, arrested by how beautiful he was. How he looked at me with such love and want, the way I’d always dreamed of being looked at. It was all too perfect. Too good.
“You don’t have to be with me,” I blurted.
He blinked. “Sorry, what?”
“I-I don’t know. I just…I need some air.”
I went outside and sat on the top step of the stairs. I heard Cas follow me and quickly brushed away the tears of frustration that slid down my cheeks.
“Lucy. Talk to me.”
“We were married four thousand years ago, but that doesn’t mean you have to stick with me. Or be…obligated.”
“Obligated,” he said flatly. “But I am obligated. I’m obligated by how much I love you.” He sat down beside me. “Where is this coming from?”
“Nothing. I don’t know. My inner demons telling me this is too good to be true.”
Cas muttered a curse and withdrew a small black box from his suit pocket. He turned it around and around in his hands. A little gasp fell from my lips.
“I should’ve given it to you months ago,” he said. “Every day since I came back, I could’ve gotten down on my knees and asked if you’d be my wife.”
“Why didn’t you?” I asked softly.
He turned to me, his eyes heavy and full of love. “The same reason you came out here. ‘Inner demons’ telling me that it wouldn’t be good enough. So I’ve been reading your romance novels for guidance. I wanted to make my proposal something special. To give you what they call a grand gesture.”
A fresh rush of love swept through me at the idea of this man pouring through my romances, just like I had, looking for something he could give me. “Is that why you insisted on packing my books last? You’ve been reading them?”
“Yes, but I can’t do what the billionaires do.” An adorably grouchy scowl came over his face. “And how are there so many billionaires in the first place? Or British nobility? How many eligible dukes does the royal family have?”
I laughed. “You have to suspend disbelief in the name of love.”
He scowled. “It’s enough to make a poor professor feel inadequate.”
“I don’t need a grand gesture.” I hid a smile in his shoulder. “But if you wanted to open the box, I wouldn’t mind.”
“Not yet. Your books taught me another phrase—the grovel.” I started to laugh but he turned to me, so earnest and serious. “I must beg your forgiveness, Lucy.”
“For what?”
“For so many things. Little wounds I’ve given you…and large ones. Ones that cut deep. For the time I told you to mind your fucking business in the department store. I couldn’t stand the idea of you being worried about me. Already, your gentle heart cared for a bastard like me.”
“Oh, Cas. You don’t have to—”
“I do. I’m sorry I made you feel ashamed when you were dressed up to go to the singing bar, when in truth, I was stunned by your beauty.”
“Really? I thought you hated all of it. The makeup, the dress…”
“No. The women in Larsa lined their eyes with kohl. You looked so much like Li’ili in that moment, I could scarcely breathe. But I did hate that red dress. Because you weren’t wearing it for me.” He brushed a lock of hair off my cheek. “But I liked your hair pulled away from your face so that I could see more of it. I never tire of looking at your face. I never will.”
I could hardly see for the tears now. “Casziel…”
“And I’m sorry I didn’t dance with you at the wedding. It should’ve been me, not Guy. I should never have put your hand in his. I should never have said those terrible things to you. I said them instead of what was in my heart, and that is that I’ll love you forever. I have loved you forever, through every century, with every lifetime that’s passed and every lifetime to come. There is only you. There will only ever be you. My love. My life.” His jaw clenched. “And if you’ll have me again…my wife.”
He opened the box to reveal a gold ring with an oval of lapis lazuli, surrounded by tiny pale blue diamonds.
“Lapis is the sacred stone of our people,” he said, taking the ring from the box. “The same color as your eyes.”
My hand flew to my heart. “Cas…it’s so beautiful.”
“Not half as beautiful as you. In body and soul.” He slipped the ring on my finger and pressed my hand to his lips. “Lucy Dennings…we were wed once before, but I’ll never take your love for granted. It is the greatest gift I’ll ever receive, and I’ll spend this life making myself worthy of it, if you’ll let me.”
“Yes,” I whispered. “Yes, Cas. Of course, I will.”
His smile was breathtaking, and he kissed me softly, his mouth taking mine in tender touches, pouring his love into me.
I could taste it, feel it, breathe it in until it filled me up and left no room for doubt. I rested my head against his chest while he held me, and we sat in the twilight, basking in the wholeness of us. The ring wasn’t merely pretty, it felt like a seal to bind us together. A promise fulfilled, at long last.
“Will you miss it?” Cas asked after a while, nodding to the barren lot below us.
“A little. It’s where I found you. Twice.”
“You were so brave, Lucy. To see me as I was and take me into your home. To accept me.”
I smiled. “It helped that you were naked.”
He laughed a little. “I don’t remember what happened on the Other Side, but I know I have a lot to make up for.”
“Be one more good person in the world,” I said. “That’s all it needs.”
“I think I can do that. I have you to show me how.”
Cas kissed me again and the joy flowed through me freely. My beloved. My soulmate, and my happily ever after.
II
Two years later…
“Are you sure?” I asked, holding my wife’s face in my hands.
“I’m sure,” Lucy said, smiling gently. “If something is going to happen then it’s going to happen. We can’t let it stop you from this opportunity. It’s huge, Cas. Once in a lifetime.”
I shook my head. “The opportunity is nothing compared to you. If something went wrong and I wasn’t there…”
“I’ll be okay,” she said, pulling my hands from her face and pressing a kiss to the tungsten and lapis wedding band on my left hand. “I insist. It’s just a week.”
A week was an eternity when your wife was nine weeks pregnant for the second time. Her doctor said everything looked good, but how could she know for sure? If we lost this one too…
“No,” I said, the thought curling my stomach. “I can’t leave you. The Cairo presentation will survive without me.”
“The Cairo presentation is you.”
I fumed. A trove of Sumerian artifacts had been discovered in the gulf region. They’d been transported to the National Museum in Cairo where they awaited me to date and identify them.
“It’s a box full of rubble. It doesn’t mean anything, but you…you are everything.”
“And you are so sexy when you say things like that,” Lucy said, kissing the scowl on my lips.
I started to protest but she cut me off.
“I feel fine. And you are brilliant. This is historic.” Lucy wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her head against my chest. “It’s going to be okay, Cas. Whatever happens, it’s going to be okay.”
I held her tight. “How do you know?”
“I don’t. I just have to trust that our angels are watching.”
“Lucy…”
“Go, or you’ll miss your plane and I’ll be late to my meeting.” She kissed me again. Softly but with her own deep strength pouring in. “We can’t put our lives on hold out of fear.”
I nodded reluctantly. It had been a year and a half since our wedding, and I loved my wife more and more every day. Watching her suffer through a miscarriage had ripped my heart to shreds twice over—once for her and once for me. But she reminded me that we had to go through the hard stuff to make the good all the richer and that even the most precious things don’t always stay as long as we like them too.
I kissed her a final time and dragged my rolling suitcase out the door of our Midtown apartment, leaving her at her desk by the window overlooking the Park. After the resounding success of their athletic shoe campaign, Lucy and Jana had opened their own company dedicated solely to sustainable apparel. I could not have been prouder of Lucy, working tirelessly to make real and lasting change for the good of the planet. She’d proven herself to be stronger and braver than I’d ever imagined, facing life’s obstacles—and heartaches—with courage and love that never wavered. But each step away from her that morning felt like a betrayal. Or a horrible mistake.
Three hours later, I was waiting in line at airport security when a sense of urgency clenched my heart. I caught a whiff of pipe smoke in the sanitized airport air.
“Lucy…”
I shoved my way back through the line, fumbling for my phone while leaving a trail of curses and dirty looks behind me. I called her number. No answer.
“Fuck.”
I was pacing in the Uber pick up area when a text came in from Jana—a string of panicked words that struck me like bullets.
Lucy’s at the OBGYN. Something’s happened. She was bleeding. I can’t be there I’m upstate come quickly.
“Oh fuck, no,” I breathed. “No, please not again.”
The Uber came and I redirected the driver to Dr. D’Onofrio’s office, the woman who had guided us through one agonizing loss already.
“Lucy Abisare,” I told the woman at reception. “I’m her husband.”
Her smile scraped at me like glass. “Oh yes, go right in. Exam room three.”
I burst into the room and my heart ripped in half to see Lucy on the exam table. A paper sheet covered the lower half of her body, and one hand covered her eyes as she sobbed.
“Lucy.” I rushed to her, took her free hand, and pressed the back of it to my lips. “Oh, my beloved. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She was shaking her head, hardly able to speak. “Two babies.”
“I know,” I said angrily, my own cheeks wet with tears. “I know and you’re so brave. So goddamn brave.”
“No, it’s two babies,” she managed through sobs. She uncovered her eyes to look at me, and I realized she wasn’t grimacing in pain; she was smiling. “Cas…I thought they were going to tell me there were no babies but there are two babies.”
I stared, my mouth ajar. “But…you were bleeding…”
“The doctor says it can happen. But I’m okay. They’re okay.”
I shook my head, disbelieving. “Are you sure?”
Lucy nodded and pressed her forehead to mine. “Two babies, Cas. I think they’re the ones we lost… I think they came back.”
“Oh my God.” I couldn’t stop my own tears from mingling with hers as I kissed her. “Twins. We’re going to have twins?”
“Yes, indeed.” Dr. D’Onofrio breezed into the room. “Congratulations, Cas.” She gestured to the grainy black and white ultrasound on the wall monitor. “This is baby number one.” She pointed out an indistinct blob in a little cavern of my wife’s womb. “And this is baby number two.”
A surge of joy tried to find me and hit a brick wall. “But Lucy…she’s okay?”
Because fucking hell, I couldn’t bear to watch her suffer again.
“I understand your concerns. We’re going to be monitoring her very closely, especially given your history. But as far as I can see, everything looks good. Two strong solid heartbeats.”
The doctor explained a little more, gave us instructions, and then left us alone. I clutched Lucy’s hand, hardly daring to let her go.
“Jana called you,” she said.
“She texted, but I was already on my way back. Someone told me to go back.”
She smiled. “I’m so glad. I thought you were already on the plane.”
“I think Grandpa made sure I wasn’t.”
Lucy laughed through tears, and I held her close, our foreheads pressed together.
“They came back,” she whispered. “The two we lost; they came back. Don’t you think?”
I frowned. She’d said that earlier and I’d missed it. “Two?”
Lucy nodded. “The first was in Larsa. Cas…I never told you. When I saw our last night, I knew we were going to have a baby. Li’ili—I—was pregnant.”
I stared. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wanted to, so many times. But it seemed like it would hurt you for no reason. And then we had the miscarriage last year and I saw how you tried to be brave for me and take all the pain. But you were hurting too. And I couldn’t do it to you again.”
“You were trying to protect me.�
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She nodded. “I’m so sorry. I just…I didn’t want to break your heart.”
I shook my head, fighting tears. “We can’t protect each other, Lucy. I learned that lesson the hard way. We can only be there for each other, through the good and the bad. Okay?”
“You’re right. If you had missed this moment because I pushed you to get on the plane, I’d never have forgiven myself.”
“It’s okay,” I said, kissing her forehead, her cheek, her lips. “I’m here. And I think you’re right. They came back.”
“A boy and a girl,” Lucy said. “We’re having one of each.”
“You think so?”
“I feel it. I’d like to name the boy Garrett. After my father.”
I almost told her it was tempting fate to give a name to these little flickering heartbeats, but that was fear speaking, and we weren’t going to live in fear.
“And Aria for the girl,” I said gruffly. “For my sister.”
“Garrett and Aria.” Lucy’s smile was radiant. “Beautiful.”
But she was beautiful, and my heart was filled with so much love, I could hardly contain it. And it came with a certainty that I felt in my bones. In my soul. We’d live again and again, sometimes pulled apart, maybe losing each other for a little while.
But we’d always find our way back to each other in the end.
III
One hundred and fifty-one years later…
“I think you should do it, Mom. It’s been two years.”
“You’d be okay with that?” I asked and tapped the implant in my temple to activate NeuroLink. I mentally asked for the air quality for New Los Angeles. The information scrolled across my vision, and I blinked it away. “Air-Q says it’s going to be hazy today so bring your purifier.”
“Yes, Mom,” my daughter drawled, rolling her eyes. “And you’re avoiding the subject.”