Finally I can’t take it anymore. I turn around and start walking away.
“Elliot, where are you going?” she calls out after me. I can hear the concern in her voice but I don’t care. This woman is special, and whether I like it or not she’s gotten under my skin. I care about her and no one can make her feel like that. Not even Stuart fucking Yates. I don’t care what history we have.
“I’m going to see what the fuck his problem is,” I growl without looking back. She says nothing and I keep walking.
Stuart’s office is just past mine down the hallway. My steps are heavy, and I can feel the anger building in my stomach. The hallway feels like a never-ending tunnel and all I can see is the doorway to his office. I don’t know what I’m going to say or what I’m going to ask. All I know is that I’m done tiptoeing around him like he has something on me.
Within seconds I’m at his door. I don’t bother knocking, I just turn the handle and walk in. He’s sitting at his desk, typing on his computer. He glances up calmly as I barrel through the door toward him. My fists make contact with his desk as I lean over it. Our faces are inches apart and he’s looking at me with that steady, dark look.
“Elliot,” he says evenly. “I’ve been expecting you.”
35
Elliot
“What the fuck did you say to her?” I growl at him in a low voice. “Do you get off on making people feel like shit?”
Stuart folds his arms over his chest and leans back in his chair. He doesn’t seem the least bit worried or surprised at my outburst.
“I didn’t think you’d be the type to care about how others felt, Elliot,” he counters. I can see him reading me like a book and I hate thinking he has the upper hand once again.
“Well, I do. Unlike you, I actually have compassion and I don’t just pretend to be a decent person.”
“That’s a bold statement, coming from you.”
“Fuck you. What did you say to her?” My blood is boiling in my veins. I want to grab that grey mop on top of his head and smash his face against his desk. I want to throw him through the wall, make him hurt a hundred times more than Emma is hurting right now.
Stuart starts laughing and it only makes my rage intensify.
“Sounds like you got attached on that little romantic getaway last week. What, did you think I wouldn’t find out that you two got... comfortable... with each other?”
My eyes widen. How would he know that? He must have had someone watching me, the snake.
“What do you want, Stuart?”
“I want that bitch to mind her own damn business and stop snooping through our files. Or did you not know that if this whole thing goes tits up, you’re the one that is going to take the fall?” His voice is filled with hatred, and he slings the words at me. I feel the spittle from his mouth hitting my face as he speaks.
My heart drops like a stone, and my anger turns to cold fear. I feel like he’s reached through me and grabbed onto my throat and is slowly squeezing the life out of me. I may have thought our past was behind us but the look on Stuart’s face tells me it isn’t.
“What are you talking about?” I breathe. He laughs again.
“Did you think I’d let you off the hook so easily? You came to me seven years ago a broken man. You needed my help and I gave it to you.”
“You blackmailed me.” My voice is dead, but the emotions inside me are waging a war.
“I did no such thing. If the medical board discovers you’re a gambling addict there’s nothing I can do about that.”
“I was never an addict,” I spit at him. “You know I was just scrambling for money for Chloe. I was desperate. I played poker with you, Stuart!” Stuart waves his hand lazily.
“Potato, potato,” he says, pronouncing both words exactly the same way. “The fact of the matter is that now you’re deep in this thing, and if anyone finds out, as far as I’m concerned, you’re the only one who had any involvement.”
“What thing? What are you talking about?” I spit at him. He laughs again, showing all his teeth.
“How do you think we settled your loan? You’re a money launderer, Elliot. Have been for seven years now. You’ve siphoned millions through the practice. Did you know that’s a felony? And if anyone finds out, I’ll deny any knowledge. As far as I’m concerned you’ve acted completely independently.”
His beady eyes bore into me and I feel a shiver of disgust travel down my spine. The panic is rising in my throat. What did he do? What have I done? I came to him for help when Chloe was dying. I was buried in medical bills, trying stupidly to pay them off with gambling. I thought I could play poker and get Chloe the treatment she needed without having my family go under. Well, I ended up further in debt and Chloe’s treatment still failed, so I ended up with nothing.
Stuart gave me a loan and told me his accountant would settle it through the practice. Less tax for him, and he would waive the interest on the loan. Win-win, he said. Put the whole tragedy behind me, he said.
He set me up.
“You’re a bastard,” I growl. He smiles slowly, with his eyes staying dark and completely still. He doesn’t blink.
“Get out of my office or I’ll call the authorities myself. Looks like my brilliant new receptionist has just uncovered some fraudulent accounting.”
I turn around, breath coming out heavily from my nostrils. That fucking snake of a man. I stomp out the door and down the hall to my office, slamming the door behind me. I sink into my chair with my head in my hands.
Despair, panic, whatever you want to call it is overwhelming me. I’m hopeless. No one can know that I’ve done this, especially not Emma. How the hell will I fix this? If anyone finds out, they’ll lock me up. They’ll take Gracie away. I’ll lose everything. The tears start prickling at my eyes but I blink them back.
I need to figure something out. I need to find a way out of this.
One thing is for sure: until I do, I have to make sure Emma stays far away from this entire thing. The less she knows about Stuart and the less she knows about this whole mess, the better.
36
Emma
Elliot rushed off down the hall to Dr. Yates’ office. I couldn’t help myself, and inched down the hall after him. I could just barely hear their conversation through the door, mostly Dr. Yates’ higher pitched, bitter-sounding voice. Elliot’s low voice didn’t carry to where I was standing, crouched against the wall. All I know is that when I heard the words ‘gambling addict’ my heart sank to my stomach. I turned around and practically ran back to the reception desk, sitting down in a daze.
I think of my father and the pain that sears through me is like a red hot dagger to my heart. My father hid it from me, from all of us. I had no idea he’d been moving in those circles. Victor’s face flashes in my head and I think of this mess I’m in.
And now… Elliot is a gambling addict, too? Another one. Doesn’t he know it ruins lives? My heart is thumping in my chest. I don’t know what to do. How can I look him in the eye when I know what he is?
I take a couple deep breaths to calm myself. What else did Dr. Yates say? He said he wanted me to stop snooping in their files. Or, ‘that bitch,’ which I assume is me. He said he helped Elliot seven years ago? My thoughts are a jumbled mess. I should never have looked through those files. I’ve got enough issues dealing with my own debts, I don’t need to be involving myself in a corrupt business.
All I know is that I don’t know Elliot at all. I know nothing about him. Up until a couple days ago I didn’t even know he was a father! And now I’m learning he’s a gambler? That he’s been involved in something underhanded at this awful company?
I reach for my phone and look for Val’s name before I stop myself. I can’t involve her in any of this. What would I tell her? That I overheard some strange things? I saw some weird fees and now I know something is up? She’ll tell me to report it but that will ruin my chances of getting a loan and dealing with Victor.
No.
My best bet is just to keep quiet. Play dumb. As far as they’re concerned, I don’t know anything, and it’s going to stay that way. At least until Victor is out of my life for good. Until that happens, I need to make Dr. Yates trust me again. I need to make him believe that I know nothing. It’s my only hope.
And Elliot…
I sigh. My heart is being ripped in a million different directions. Just the thought of him, the thought of his face, his eyes, it makes me want to scream. It hasn’t felt this good to be with a man... probably ever. And now I find out he’s a gambling addict?
But if I suddenly turn cold, he’ll know something is wrong, and all hope of coming out of this will be gone. I’ll have to explain why I was trying to organize the files, and then I might have to talk about the debts. All hope of keeping Val and everyone else I care about safe will be gone.
I want to keep seeing him. I want to get to know him. I’m not ready to let go of this feeling that I get when I’m with him. I don’t know anything about him, but I’ve only known him for a couple weeks. I want to spend more time with him and find out more about his past, and his life now. Surely, he doesn’t leave Gracie at home alone to go gamble?
There has to be more to this story.
My head is spinning and I can’t think straight. I’m missing something, but I don’t know what it is. Maybe I should have stayed and listened to the rest of their conversation. Now all I have is a few photos of some files on my phone and some fragments of a conversation I wasn’t supposed to hear.
I get up and start walking down the hallway toward Elliot’s office. I need to talk to him. As I get closer, I pause mid-step. If Dr. Yates sees me going into Elliot’s office right after they had that fight, he might suspect something is going on. They obviously have some sort of history that I don’t want to get in the middle of.
Instead, I turn around and walk back to my desk. I’m going to have to wait this one out. I sit down on my chair and wring my hands in my lap. My eyes are prickling and my heart is racing, but all I can do is sit here and wait.
37
Elliot
My day passes me by in a muddled daze. I’m not sure if I should ignore Emma or go to her. Stuart has me backed into a corner. I should just tell her everything and be completely honest with her. I know I should, especially if I actually want to be with her. But how can I do that? If I tell her she could turn around and never speak to me again, or just turn me in and ruin my life. Who’s to say she would believe my side of the story? I’ve known her for two weeks. I can’t trust her with something like that.
The thought of losing her right when I discovered I might actually want her is tearing me up inside. The past few days have been the best I’ve had in years. I haven’t laughed or smiled that much since Chloe got sick. Being able to talk to someone, I mean really talk to someone is something I didn’t even know I was missing until right now.
I want to walk out of my office and march down the hall and scoop her up into my arms. I want to take her to my bed and stay there for days, only getting up to get some food. I want to feel her body, to touch her and taste her. I want to hear her laugh and see her smile.
But I’m glued to my chair. I can’t go anywhere. I’m paralyzed, stuck, frozen.
Think, think, think!
How can I get myself out of this? It’s not just about me and what I want. It’s not about Emma. This is about Gracie. If I don’t do something, Gracie’s life will be affected. I need to be there for her, I need to take care of her. What I want doesn’t matter.
The thought passes through my mind and I know it’s the most important thing. Gracie is the most important thing in my life. I can’t let my own desires and my own selfish needs get in the way of what’s best for my daughter.
My resolve strengthens and I know I have to figure something out, and I have to leave Emma out of it. I can’t tell her anything, not until I get out from under Stuart’s thumb.
Just as I make my decision, I hear a knock on my door. I check my calendar: no appointments for another hour.
“Come in,” I call out, hoping it’s not Stuart. He wouldn’t knock anyway.
The door swings open and it’s not Stuart. It’s Emma. She pokes that curly head of hers through the door and looks at me almost shyly. She must know that something has happened and I try not to sigh when I see her.
She steps through the door and closes it behind her. We stay like that, staring at each other in silence.
God, she’s breathtaking.
She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I know she’s here to make sure I’m okay. She was the one who was hurting before but now she’s here for me. My heart skips a beat and all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and pull her into me.
But I don’t.
I stay glued to my chair until she opens her mouth. Her red lipstick covers her lips perfectly, and all I want to do is take them in between my own and crush her with my kiss.
“Elliot,” she starts. She pauses, waiting for me to say something. I feel like I’m made of stone. I want to say something, to tell her everything is okay but the words catch in my throat. “I just wanted to come by… I heard you having an argument with Dr. Yates.”
She pauses again, this time studying me. I swallow but still can’t find the words to speak. How much did she hear? If she asks me anything right now, I have no idea what I’m going to tell her.
“I just wanted to say thank you. I know you went in there when you saw I was upset. You didn’t have to do that, and I appreciate it.”
I exhale with relief and clear my throat. “It’s okay, Emma. He’s an asshole anyway.”
I can’t say what I want to say. What is wrong with me? I want to say that it killed me to see her like that. The anger I felt toward Stuart was nothing compared to how badly I wanted to protect her, to make her feel like everything was okay. I want to tell her that she’s the best thing that’s happened to me since Gracie.
But if I tell her that… what else will I tell her?
“Listen, Elliot. I don’t care what’s going on between you and Dr. Yates. It doesn’t concern me. I won’t ask you about it if you don’t want to talk about it. I just want to make sure it hasn’t affected anything between us.”
It’s like she knows exactly what to say to make me feel at ease. Finally I can’t take it anymore. I spring off my chair and in two steps I’ve wrapped her in my arms. She melts into me and my heart feels like it’s coming back together. I’ll tell her everything… Just not right now. Right now I just want to feel her and see her and taste her.
I take my hand and tilt her chin upwards, bringing my lips down to meet her perfect mouth. Her red lips part and my fingers tangle into her hair as our mouths finally crush together. My lips caress hers and I feel my heart simultaneously feeling like it’s exploding and like it’s completely at peace.
I can’t let this go–can’t let her go.
I pull away from her and look into her bright brown eyes. The specks of yellow are glowing almost gold as she looks up at me. My arm is around her waist and I can feel her body fitting perfectly against mine.
“Come to my place for dinner tonight. I’ll cook. Gracie has already guessed there’s someone else in my life, I don’t want to hide you from her.”
Her eyes widen. “You want me to meet Gracie?”
I nod, and feel a smile pulling at my lips.
“Yeah,” I say, surprising myself. “I do.”
38
Elliot
The chicken is in the oven and Gracie is watching TV. I’m fidgeting, puttering around the kitchen, checking the time every ten seconds. I glance over at Gracie and think maybe it was a bad idea to ask Emma over. Is it too soon?
When I told her we were having a guest the first words out of her mouth were ‘is it your girlfriend?’ and I had to laugh. Is she my girlfriend? It’s all moving so fast.
All I know is that deep down I want Emma here. I want her to introduce her to Gracie and I want
to be around her all the time. I just left work an hour ago but I already can’t wait to see her smile and feel the warmth of her body next to mine.
The stuff with Stuart earlier can wait. I’ll tell her everything if I have to, if I don’t figure out how to get out of this thing before long. Right now I just want a moment of happiness.
The doorbell rings and my heart jumps to my throat. It’s six-thirty and she’s right on time. Gracie rushes past me, sprinting for the front door.
“I’ll get it,” she calls over her shoulder. I wipe my hands on a dish towel and follow her to the door. When I get there, she already has it open, and has her hand extended toward Emma.
“I’m Gracie, it’s nice to meet you.”
Emma’s face is a warm smile and she kneels down and shakes Gracie’s hand. She’s wearing a silky white dress with little flowers on it. It hugs her curves perfectly, dipping down just a bit to show off some cleavage. As always, she looks stunning and perfect.
“I’m Emma, it’s nice to meet you too. Thank you for having me,” she says to Gracie. Gracie waves her hand and opens the door wider, inviting her in.
“Oh, it’s no problem. I’ve been waiting for my dad to get a girlfriend forever.”
Emma’s eyes finally flick up to me as I lean on the wall of the foyer. Her smile widens and she chuckles.
“Girlfriend, hmm?”
I grin and roll my eyes in exaggeration.
“Will you guys stop making eyes at each other and come inside. Let’s have dinner, I’m starving.” Gracie says. I reach over and ruffle her hair.
Doctor's Orders (Complete Series) Page 28