by Amelia Wilde
“How did you end up with him, though? That’s not like you. Cash said something bizarre about some papers Dad signed, and I can’t—” This time, when she laughs, the sound is all hurt confusion. “You’re not like that. You don’t date guys like that. Stay at their houses.”
“Guys like that,” I snap, and then I bite it back, I shut it down. Petra doesn’t know Leo, and I haven’t done a damn thing about it. I haven’t told her the truth. I haven’t stood up for him, the way I should have. Not that it’ll ever convince her, or any of the Constantines. It just hurts. Because Rick actually is a guy like that. Rick was the one who told me that I was doing great while he had his hands on me. I didn’t want his hands on me. I detested his hands on me. Thinking about it now makes me sick. Because I know what it is to want someone. I have always wanted Leo. From the first moment I saw him, I wanted him.
“Haley,” she says, and I realize how silent I’ve gone, how cold.
“I’m really, really okay.” It’s a lie. I’m not okay, but it’s not because of Leo. The only reason I’m sleeping at night at all is because of Leo. A tear leaks out from under my palm. Petra can never hear that I’m crying. She would assume it was because of him, when really it’s Caroline. When really I’m tired from being woken by nightmares. When I want Leo to be here.
When I’m not sure if I’ll ever be fine. If we’ll ever be fine. If Caroline won’t leave us alone, then how can we be fine? How can we be happy?
The door to the bedroom opens and closes. A pause. And then swift footsteps over to my side of the bed. Leo tugs my hand away from my eyes, and when I open them he’s on one knee in front of me, dark eyes taking everything in. He runs a steadying hand down one of my legs with enough pressure to keep from setting me off.
“I don’t know if I believe you,” says Petra. “You sound like you’re crying.”
I look into Leo’s eyes. At his viciously beautiful face. The curve of his lips. The mouth that’s been everywhere on me. That I want everywhere on me now. “I promise, I’m not. And I’m also not getting married. I want to be here with Leo.”
Leo narrows his eyes.
“Okay.” Petra sighs. “Will you call me if you need anything? I’m always here, you know. We’re sisters no matter what.”
“No matter what,” I echo. “I love you.”
“Love you too, Hales. Text me soon.”
She hangs up before I can answer, and I let the phone fall to the bed. “Tell me,” says Leo.
“Caroline put an announcement in the paper. For my engagement to Rick.” My chin trembles. “I just—I just don’t think—” The tears come, and damn it, I wasn’t going to do this. I wasn’t going to cry first thing in the morning. “I don’t think she’s ever going to stop.”
Leo pulls me off the bed, down into his arms. He lets me cry until I’m done, running his fingers through my hair, tugging at it when he’s removed all the knots. Little bits of pain and pressure to remind me that it’s him.
What irony, to need pain like this. Or maybe it’s not irony. Maybe it’s meant to be.
He has enough pain to spare.
Even after the tears and shudders have left me, he holds my body. He cradles me, his touch at once soothing and inflaming me. But he doesn’t make me promises he can’t keep. He doesn’t promise to stop Caroline, because she can’t be stopped. It’s like hoping that an earthquake won’t shake the earth. He’s strong, but even stone can shatter.
Chapter Fourteen
Leo
I’m drifting into hard-won sleep under a blanket of pain when Haley screams.
I hear her breath first. An enormous gasp, like something’s come to the side of the bed in the night. The gasp dumps adrenaline into my veins but the scream is a baseball bat to my heart. It sends it flying. She’s sitting up, her hands frantic at the covers. Pushing down. Searching, searching, searching. “No.” She breaks into a panicked sob and screams again.
It’s not like her screams when I’m fucking her. Those are all hot pleasure and pleas for more pain. This sounds like she’s dying.
Or someone else is dying.
Over the last several days her nightmares have been getting more frequent, but this is the worst I’ve seen.
I take her by the shoulders and she startles, all of her resisting. “Stop,” she screams at me, her eyes wide. Cold dread bleeds down my spine. Her eyes are open but unseeing. This is worse than a nightmare. It’s become something else. She claws at the covers. Tears them back. “Help me.”
The door to my bedroom bursts open. “Mr. Morelli—”
“You have to get out.” Gerard has rushed to the side of the bed, closely followed by two agents from the security team. “All of you.” He’s already reaching for his phone. “What the hell are you doing? Don’t call anyone. Just get out. Take them and get out.”
A protective instinct snaps and howls. I don’t want them seeing her like this. I don’t want this to be happening at all. Haley’s sobbing, tears streaking down her cheeks, her body shaking. “Darling.” I get closer. Stroke her hair away from her face. Her expression contorts and she jerks her head away. Christ. No one can be here for this. No one will understand. They won’t understand what she needs. God help me if I don’t know what she needs.
I can only start where she’s at.
“Get out,” I tell Gerard. “Wait in the hall if you want. I don’t fucking care. But if she wakes up and you’re in here, I’ll have your job.”
The door closes a moment later, and I reach for Haley’s hands. Pull her toward me. She falls, her balance deserting her, her palms landing on my chest. One connects with the bullet wound. “Fuck. Darling. It’s me. Wake up. You’re dreaming. Wake up.”
“Leo,” she says, and her voice is so broken, so terrified, that my throat constricts. Her love for me follows her everywhere, even to her nightmares. “You’re bleeding. You’re burning up.”
“I’m not.” I take her hand and press it harder into the wound. It hurts. “Feel my shirt. It’s dry. There’s nothing there. I’m not bleeding.”
“I have to stop it,” she says. Haley scrambles up onto her knees and brings her other hand up to my chest. “I have to stop it.”
I have to get her out of this. This dream, this night terror, whatever it is—it’s hurting her. I put both my hands over both of hers and hold them there.
“Good girl,” I tell her, because I don’t know what the fuck else to do. I don’t know how else to be with her, other than to step into the nightmare too. “It’s already less. It’s stopping. It’s—” My god, this is painful. Her touch on sensitive, damaged flesh, yes. But seeing this happen to her with clear eyes—“It’s not so hard to breathe.”
She blinks, then blinks again, staring at my hands over hers. “I—” Another sob. This one softer. “I’m having a terrible dream.”
“I know.”
Her eyes come up to mine. “It won’t let go,” she whispers. “I have to stop it.”
I take her chin in my hand. Fuck no. She’s not falling into whatever this is, not for another second. “You’re awake now.”
“I don’t feel awake.” Worry is creeping into her tone. “I can’t take my hands away.”
“Look at me.” Her eyes have slipped down to her hands again, but they come back now. Tears drip from her lashes. It makes me fucking furious. At Caroline, at Ronan, at myself. One long blink, and her eyes go wide again. Her hands push in. Sitting here in the dark isn’t going to do it. We need a clean break. And I need to fuck her.
I take Haley off the bed in my arms. She fights to press her hands to my chest again and I let her. She doesn’t seem to notice when I stop at my closet. Her focus is back in the nightmare. The dreamworld. Whatever the fuck is happening. I’m getting her out. I’m bringing her back to me.
I’m keeping a promise.
“Stand here.” I put her on her feet on the rug by the armchair.
“No. Why?” Haley’s crying. Reaching for me.
“Beca
use, darling, you’re half-asleep, and I want you awake when I fuck your ass.”
The windows here look like solid panes of glass, and they are. But they open on an angle. I wouldn’t live in a house where I couldn’t open the fucking windows. I press the switch at the bottom of the one nearest and open it halfway.
Winter air rushes in and Haley lets out a soft gasp. She crosses her arms over her chest. Her expression is the picture of relief. I’m not going to let it stay that way for long. She scared the fuck out of me, with all that screaming. My heart pounds with fresh anger. How dare Caroline. How fucking dare Ronan.
I go to her, thread my fingers through her hair, and kiss her until she whines. Until I know it’s verging on too rough. And then I take her clothes. My shirt. Her panties. Gone in a heartbeat. Her nipples are hard from the frosty air. I push her hands out of the way and pinch them. Haley tips her head back, her eyes closed. “You pinch so hard.”
I pinch harder. She makes a hot, wounded sound at the back of her throat. “I’m awake now,” she gasps. “I’m awake. I promise.”
“Awake isn’t enough.” I pull her in and bite. Another, just below her ear. On her neck. On her shoulder. I back her up while I do it. When she’s in the right place, I shove her over the arm of the chair, the beast snapping at the end of his leash.
Shove her face right into the cushion. “You’re going to stay where you are.” I allow her to turn her head so she can breathe. That’s it. “And you’re going to cry for me. Not for some fucking dream. Not for that coward with his gun. Me.”
I undo my pants and test her with my fingers. She’s wet. Nothing gets her wetter than being bent over and ordered around, the filthy thing. It’s like she was made for me. I push into her, filling her pussy, stretching her, and she grips the cushion. “Leo—”
“Let go with one hand and play with your clit.” Haley obeys me, pushing back against me to give herself enough room. “You have thirty seconds to come.”
I make her spend the first ten seconds in silence. She’s panting by the end. On the verge of begging. I can tell. Her muscles ripple around my cock but she doesn’t come. Haley rises on tiptoe, trying harder, trying her damned best, and it’s all I can do not to destroy her now. Her screaming. Her terror. I’m barely hanging on to my humanity.
“You can tell me, darling.” I slide my hand up her spine to the back of her neck. Her pussy clenches when I add pressure to her head.
“Tell you what?” Haley’s cheeks are a deep, lovely pink.
“That your fingers aren’t enough. That you’re stretched too far to come without help.”
New tears shine in her eyes. “No. I can do it.”
“But you’re not doing it. I don’t feel your cunt getting tighter and tighter until your body can’t take it anymore. I don’t feel you getting wet enough to drip down your thighs. I promise you, darling, you’ll want my cock to be dripping.”
“You’re not really—” Another squeeze to my cock, and I groan. “You’re not really going to fuck—”
“I keep my word. You only have ten seconds left. I’ve brought the strap in case you don’t make it. How many would it take? Ten? Twenty? How many until you’re out of tears? How many until you never scream for anyone but me again?”
I bring my hand down hard on her ass and Haley comes with fluttering muscles and a trembling body and a gorgeous moan. A gust of cold air sweeps in from the window. I’m so hot for her, already on fire. It doesn’t touch me. But Haley shivers. I let her feel the chill. Her whole body tightens with it. Good.
“Hold on.”
She grabs the sides of the seat as I gather lube and press two fingers against her hole. It’s tighter because of the cold. More resistance.
I push past it, and Haley turns her face into the cushion. “Oh—oh, oh.” She’s so tiny, and so tight, and her muscles tremble and tense. “Wait. What if I can’t—what if I can’t—”
“Wait? You want me to wait? Fuck no, darling. You woke me up with your screaming.” I fuck my fingers in and out of her while she tries to push me out, her face buried in the cushioned, pained moans vibrating through her body. “I’m the only one who hurts you.” I push my fingers in deep and she cries out. With my free hand, I stroke between her legs. Dripping. “I’d give you more fingers to get you ready, but you deserve what’s coming.”
Haley’s wound so tight she won’t let my fingers go. “Please. Help me.”
“No.” I pull my fingers out and replace them with the head of my cock, and now all her fear is mine. I have it in my grip. I can feel her shaking around me, feel her trying to angle her hips to get away. I pin her with a hand to the small of her back and laugh at her. “Are you going to run?”
“I’m not—I’m not—”
“Do you think I wouldn’t catch you? I’m taking this hole, darling.”
Haley takes a shuddering breath and stops resisting. She turns her face to the side so I can see her. “I’m sorry. For waking you up.”
“I’ll make you sorry. You scared the fuck out of me.” Animal anger, animal need, claws through the rest of my patience. I force the head of me inside her and Haley whimpers. Fuck, fuck, fuck she’s tight. “I thought you were hurt.” If anyone else ever touches her, if anyone else hurts her—thinking of it turns the edges of my vision red. “Are you hurt now?”
“Yes.” She offers herself to me, calves straining, body struggling. “It always hurts. And I—” I take another inch of her, pushing past her barriers, forcing them down. I’m an asshole. I’m a nightmare. She’d be writhing if I gave her any room to move. “And I feel so helpless.”
“And who the fuck is allowed to do that, darling? Who is allowed to make you feel helpless and stretched and hurt?”
“You.” Her voice is choked with tears.
“Anyone else?” I thrust into her, my control fraying at the seams. Haley howls into the cushion, the sound twisting into a moan.
“No, no, no.”
“It felt like hell to hear you scream like that.” Gritted teeth. I’m going to lose myself in her soon. “How does it feel to pay for it with this tight little hole?”
Her thighs become small earthquakes now. She’s trying so hard to give herself to me. “It hurts. And it’s—it’s so embarrassing. I can’t stop having the dreams.” Haley bursts into tears, and I run my hands over the small of her back. Over her ass. Spread her wider. “I don’t know how to stop having them.”
“I’ll fuck them out of you. Stop worrying about the fucking dreams. Worry about taking this cock. Relax, or I’ll hurt you.”
She’s shivering. “It’s hard—harder in the cold.”
“You don’t feel cold. You feel hot.” Haley clenches, and it drags a groan out of me. “Soft and tight. Like a fucking vise. But you’re not listening. I told you to relax.” She reaches for it, struggles for it, her breaths coming fast. She’s letting me in. She’s doing her best. Her resistance fades. They hurt her. These dreams hurt her. I’m going to destroy them. A growl works past my teeth. “I have to fuck you, darling, and I can’t be gentle.”
One violent thrust, and I’m home. Haley sobs as her body grips me, her body electric with how hard I’ve taken her. She moans as she cries, her body quaking, but she doesn’t let go of the cushion. “Jesus. You’re being so good for me. Every time you sob, you get tighter.”
I reach around in front of her and work my fingers over her clit. Her hips rock helplessly against the arm of the chair. I fuck her with deep, relentless strokes, driving the breath out of her. I shrug off some of the pain. I’m on the edge of giving her too much. I’m on the edge. Fuck. How am I ever supposed to live without her?
Haley gasps with every movement of my hips and I push in deep, deeper than I have before, so deep she lets out a low cry. I stay, and stay. Her hands grip the cushion so tight her knuckles have paled. She is completely at my mercy. Completely in my power. She will only be powerless for me.
With my own body still I can feel all the tiny tremor
s in her muscles. Feel the caged tilt of her hips. I circle her clit with my fingertips. It’s swollen, sensitive, and she begs me wordlessly for more.
“You are fucking helpless,” I tell her. “Because you belong to me. I hurt you. I make you come. Nobody else. Nobody. Fucking. Else. Who’s the nightmare, darling? Who is it?”
“You.”
“And your pussy loves it.” She squeezes my cock again, and I make my touch rough, I make it ruthless. I drag her own slickness up to her oversensitive clit and circle it again and again and again until she screams.
Screams, and comes, every muscle working over my cock. It was so hard for her to take me. I fucking love it. As much as I love feeling her come apart under the pain and the pleasure and the cage I’ve made of my own body.
My own orgasm starts in my toes and explodes upward until it grabs me by the hips and turns me into a monster. I fuck her with such hard strokes that she comes again. “You’re so big,” she cries. “Oh my god. Oh my god. Please.”
“Please?”
Haley reaches back and grabs for my hand. Holds on tight, though I’m the one hurting her and enjoying the fuck out of it. “Please don’t stop.”
Chapter Fifteen
Leo
I take Haley into the shower and make her stand in the water while I wash her. Father Simon doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I’m not a good man. My darling is awake now, bright-eyed and needy, but I’m teasing her. Torturing her. I won’t touch her clit or finger-fuck her.
I will angle her toward the water.
It’s too soft for her now.
I don’t say a fucking thing about how the sound of her screaming is burned into my memory. How the sight of her in the clutches of that nightmare made my stomach turn cold. Or how fear is spreading like cancer, multiplying by the second. I love the way she cries for me. But now that the beast has settled, I want more. I want everything.
I’m not giving up gentleness to Caroline. And fucking Rick.
So we’ll start here, with the water. I hold her close with one arm slung across her chest, her delicate shoulder blades pinned against me, and hook my other hand under her knee. She shivers when I lift it up and open her wide. Haley grabs for my arm. I don’t think she’s aware of trying to scratch me. Her breathing quickens. I won’t show her a second of my fear that she’ll spiral away from me again. “It’s soft. It’s too gentle.”