by Lynne Graham
Tatiana was grieving for her lost parent in a way he himself had never had the chance to do, for how could he have grieved for a woman he had never met, a woman who had walked away while he was still a babe in arms? For that reason he was keen to give his wife all the support he could during so testing a time.
‘Thanks,’ Tati said in a wobbly voice. ‘You know, I thought I was prepared for this.’
Saif set down the laptop and rose fluidly upright, very tall and dark and breathtakingly handsome in the open-necked black shirt and jeans he now wore. Her heart skipped a beat, her mouth ran dry as she thought of what she was hiding from him and instinct almost made her hand slide protectively across her still-flat stomach. She resisted the urge while wondering if she ought to be afraid.
How big a complication would her pregnancy prove to be? Would he ask her to consider a termination? Although he had no hope of persuading her into that choice, she conceded ruefully. She wanted her child even if it hadn’t been planned, even if that was an inconvenient preference. But at the same time, she also wanted her child to have a father, because she hadn’t had one of her own and knew how much that could hurt.
She would tell him about the baby once they had returned to Alharia, she decided, when life had calmed again, when she had recovered from the first vicious onslaught of loss and felt more able to cope with the stress.
‘Tell me about your visit to your relatives,’ Saif prompted.
Tati winced. ‘Actually, I wanted your advice about something,’ she admitted, and she told him about her mother’s jewellery. ‘She was given the pearls on her eighteenth birthday and the diamond brooch on her twenty-first and I want them back because they have great sentimental worth and Mum loved them.’
‘Leave the matter with me. I will handle it,’ Saif assured her.
Tati breathed in deep. ‘I didn’t...er...want to get a solicitor or anything involved,’ she warned him. ‘When all is said and done, they are still my family.’
‘Even when a family member assaults you?’
Tati paled. ‘It wasn’t an assault! The emerald simply attracted Ana’s attention and she wanted a closer look at it.’
‘If you say so,’ Saif sliced in, even white teeth flashing against his bronzed skin, his spectacular green eyes unimpressed by that plea and cool as ice. ‘But I say that you are not safe in that house and that you will not be returning there unless I am with you.’
And she thought that that protective instinct of his was one very good reason why she had fallen in love with him. After all, nobody had ever tried to protect Tati before. When she had been oversensitive as a child her mother had simply talked to her about the need to grow a tougher skin. At school she had been bullied and the bullying had been even worse in her uncle’s house. Saif, however, stepped right in to help and protect on instinct. And that drew her, of course, it did, particularly when she was feeling vulnerable and raw. Yet she was equally aware that normally she cherished the concept of independence and was keen to make her own decisions, options that her mother’s illness had long denied her.
Saif extended a hand to her and drew her down on a sofa beside him. ‘Now share your happiest memories with your mother with me...it will help you to keep them alive and turn your thoughts in a better direction. I have no memories whatsoever of my mother, so make the most of what you have left.’
Tears burned and brimmed in her eyes and she blinked them away, digging deep for self-discipline before speaking.
* * *
In the early hours, she climbed into bed, lighter of heart and having talked herself hoarse. Saif emerged from the en-suite bathroom still towelling himself dry, black hair ruffled, green eyes very bright against his bronzed skin. Her gaze strayed down the long length of his body, grazing wide shoulders, corrugated abs, a taut, flat stomach, and turbulent warmth tugged at the heart of her, shocking her with its urgency. She lay down and closed her eyes.
‘My life felt dull without you around,’ Saif breathed in a driven undertone.
Heartened by that admission, Tati slid her hand across the divide between them and closed it over his. ‘You can’t expect ordinary routine to live up to three sunny weeks in Paris,’ she teased.
‘It’s not a matter of comparisons. You’re not always going to be a part of my life and I must adjust to that,’ Saif pronounced very seriously.
For a split second it was as though he had plunged a knife into her heart with that reminder and then her natural spirit rallied. ‘But I’m here right now,’ she pointed out daringly.
‘Yes, you are,’ Saif conceded huskily as he tugged her closer. ‘And nobody has the ability to foretell the future.’
‘That’s right,’ she agreed, frustrated when he made no further move.
‘You must be tired.’
‘Not since I slept the evening away,’ Tati told him, leaning over him and then slowly, gently bringing her lips down to his, because there was a great driving need in her to reconnect again and to make the most of every moment left with him.
Saif lifted a hand and framed her flushed face. ‘I assumed touching you would be inappropriate. I didn’t want to get it wrong.’
‘I want to forget the last three weeks,’ she confessed. ‘I don’t want to think.’
He circled her lips with his and hauled her down to him without any further ceremony, tasting her soft lips with a scorchingly hungry kiss. While he kissed her, he dealt with removing her pyjamas with ruthless expertise. He rolled her under him, parting her legs and sliding his lean hips between her thighs. Her entire body stimulated, she quivered, momentarily mindless with desire, her fingers curling convulsively into his smooth back as he drove into her in one masterful stroke. Jolt after jolt of pure pleasure coursed through her as the excitement mounted. All the tension that had held her taut was now locked in her pelvis and when the exhilaration peaked and she almost passed out from the intensity of her climax, she held fast to him in the aftermath, lost in the blissful wash of relaxation.
‘I almost forgot to use a condom.’ Saif laughed as he rolled back, carrying her with him. ‘You get me so worked up I can still be careless.’
And that was the instant that she should have spoken up. She recognised it as the moment immediately and froze, the truth of her condition clawing at her conscience, but her lips remained stubbornly sealed. Her confession might well lead to an angry confrontation and more distress and worry and right then she couldn’t face it.
Reality reminded her that she had entered an intimate relationship in which conception was forbidden from the outset. She had acted without due consideration or concern because the risk of pregnancy had not crossed her mind. Saif might joke that she made him careless, but she was the one who had been thoughtless and had chosen not to speak up at the time her oversight occurred. She had conserved her pride rather than lose face and she had simply hoped for the best.
And the price of that silence had now truly come home to roost and there would be no escaping the fallout. Saif would hate that she hadn’t warned him. He would hate how long it had taken for her to come clean and own up. He would hate the whole situation and maybe by the end of it he would hate her as well...
CHAPTER NINE
TATI STUDIED SAIF over breakfast in the sun-dappled courtyard, around which their wing of the old palace was built. Her surroundings were beautiful, and she was very much at peace there. Colourful mosaic tiles covered the ground around the softly playing fountain that kept the air fresh and cool. Palm trees and mature shrubs provided shade from the hot sun above while a riot of exotic flowers tumbled round the edges of the dining area.
Saif was checking the business news on a tablet, black hair flopping over his brow, lustrous black lashes shading his spectacular eyes.
‘I need to talk to you this evening,’ she mustered the courage to announce, because if she mentioned that necessity in advance she couldn’t
then weaken and back out of it again.
‘What about?’ Saif sent her an enquiring glance from glittering light green eyes that riveted her where she sat and sent entire flocks of butterflies fluttering inside her.
‘Just something important that we need to discuss,’ Tati extended uneasily.
Saif did not like to be kept in suspense. ‘What’s wrong with right now?’
Like the answer to a prayer, Dalil Khouri appeared in the doorway opposite, bowing his head deferentially as he greeted them and addressed Saif. Saif rose with a determined smile to greet the older man. His unfailing courtesy in the face of the constant demands on his time never failed to impress Tati. He was very tolerant. She hoped he brought that tolerance to the fore when she admitted that she was carrying his baby. But she needed the rest of the day to work out the right words with which to frame that admission and that was why Dalil’s interruption had been timely.
Tati had learned that the royal palace was always a frantically busy place. Everyone had a role and a schedule, even her. She was currently attending language classes every morning while also enjoying the benefits of a tutor employed to give her a crash course on Alharia’s history and culture.
‘You cannot be left so ignorant of our country that you will be embarrassed,’ Saif had told her. ‘People ask questions at the events we attend. I hope you won’t object to being effectively sent back to school.’
And she had merely chuckled and shaken her head while wondering what the point of such lessons was intended to be when she wasn’t likely to be Saif’s wife for longer than a year at most. But at a dinner she had attended with him at an embassy earlier that week, she had been grateful for the ability to join in on a discussion relating to Alharia’s current dealings with one of its neighbours.
Only two weeks had passed since her mother’s funeral. Her uncle and aunt had not put in an appearance, which had very much shocked Saif’s sense of propriety. That evening while she was packing, Saif had gone out for a couple of hours and when he had reappeared he had handed her two worn jewellery boxes that were familiar to her. In wonder she had studied the pearl set and the swan brooch that had belonged to her late mother and she had looked at Saif and asked, ‘How on earth did you manage to get hold of them?’
‘I simply told your uncle that your mother’s possessions should be returned to you. He apologised and blamed your aunt for taking the items. He said she was like a magpie with jewels. I believe that your relatives were so used to taking advantage of your good nature that they assumed they could get away with their behaviour... Now they know different,’ he had completed with satisfaction.
‘Thank you... Thank you so much,’ Tati had told him, relieved that he had understood how precious her mother’s former possessions now were to her.
Back then, on the brink of a return to Alharia, it hadn’t occurred to her that she might struggle to find the optimum moment in which to tell Saif that she was pregnant. Unfortunately, work had engulfed him in long working hours when they had first come back, and he had been very much preoccupied. They were only ever reliably alone in bed, but she had shrunk from destroying those brief moments of trust and relaxation with a shock announcement. Only now, after almost two weeks of procrastination, was it finally dawning on her that there was no right moment for such a revelation. As if the timing were likely to influence his attitude!
Thoroughly exasperated by her apprehensions, Tati thrust away her plate impatiently and leapt up, stepping away from her chair. Her head swam sickly and she tried to grab the stone table as everything swam out of focus, but the darkness rushed in on her and she folded down onto the ground in a heap.
She surfaced groggily to discover that she was lying on her bed with an older man gazing down at her. ‘I’m Dr Abaza, Your Highness, the Emir’s personal physician. May I have your permission to examine you?’
‘Is that necessary?’
‘It’s necessary,’ Saif asserted, stepping forward out of the shadows to make her aware of his presence. ‘I would prefer you to have an examination. You passed out. It’s possible that you have caught an illness.’
Registering the gravity stamped on his lean, dark features, Tati subsided, quietly responding to the doctor’s polite questions and realising too late the direction in which those questions were travelling. Bearing in mind that she was on the very brink of telling Saif the truth, she could not lie, and as she answered she could not work up the courage to look at him. Dr Abaza completed a brief physical examination and smiled at her. ‘I will carry out a test later to be sure, but I am almost certain that you are pregnant. Certain distinct signs characterise a first pregnancy. Low blood pressure most probably caused you to faint. It is a common issue in the first trimester but, naturally, you must guard against it lest you injure yourself in a fall.’
The silence seemed to stretch into every corner of the room and back again and Tati could hardly bring herself to draw breath. She heard Saif thank the doctor. Ice trickled through her veins as he closed the door again.
‘How long have you known?’ The simplicity of that first question startled Tati.
‘I...I—’
‘When the doctor told you, it was obvious that you were not surprised. You were already aware of your condition,’ Saif conjectured with disturbing discernment. ‘For how long have you known?’
‘Well, I suspected weeks ago but I sort of...sort of chose to ignore my suspicions.’
‘You ignored?’ Saif emphasised in open disbelief.
‘I didn’t think it was very likely and I was coping with Mum’s illness. I didn’t do a test until just before you arrived in England,’ she recited breathlessly as she dug in her elbows and sat up.
‘But that was over two weeks ago!’ Saif exclaimed.
‘I was planning to tell you this evening.’
‘You should have told me the instant you had grounds for concern,’ Saif grated, striding away from her only to swing back, green eyes iridescently bright with anger in his lean bronzed face. ‘You have been less than honest with me.’
In receipt of that condemnation, Tati lost colour and slid her legs off the side of the bed. At least he hadn’t outright labelled her a liar, she thought ruefully. But she also wondered if his own mother’s desertion had made him so wary of women and pregnancy that he expected the very worst of her.
Saif made a commanding staying motion with one hand. ‘Don’t stand up until you’re quite sure that you’re not dizzy.’
‘Telling you sooner than this that I was pregnant wouldn’t have changed anything.’ Tati argued her case tautly, still perched on the side of the bed.
‘Regrettably, nothing you have yet shared tells me how this happened,’ Saif framed grimly. ‘I believed we had taken every possible precaution.’
‘I know that I told you it was safe that first night in Paris. I was on the pill, but then I had to pack in a hurry to fly to Alharia for the wedding and I forgot to bring the pills with me. So, I wasn’t lying when I said there wasn’t a risk... I just hadn’t thought the situation through properly,’ she explained uncomfortably. ‘It was only afterwards that I realised I’d left the pills behind in England and that I’d already been off them a couple of days before we...er...got together...and that that was dangerous. It was a genuine oversight, but just then it didn’t seem like much of a risk.’
‘How did unprotected sex fail to strike you as a risk?’ Saif shot at her with raw incredulity.
Tati reddened at his tone and then she shrugged. ‘It was only the once and I assumed I would still be semi-protected by the pills I had already taken that month. You were very careful after that, so I thought we would be all right. I didn’t see any reason to worry you when there was probably going to be nothing to worry about.’
‘You should have told me. I had a right to know,’ Saif breathed in a driven undertone as he paced in front of the doors that led
out to a balcony.
‘Yes, but the only option at that point would have been me taking a morning-after pill and I didn’t feel comfortable with that option,’ Tati admitted bluntly.
‘I would not have suggested that, but I dislike the fact that you chose to keep me in the dark when I am equally affected by this development!’ Saif shot back at her crushingly.
It was a fair point and she didn’t argue. ‘Well, at least you know now,’ she pointed out, feeling forced into the role of Job’s comforter.
‘I should think that half the palace is now aware of Dr Abaza’s diagnosis!’ Saif retorted drily. ‘He will have reported straight back to my father and I would imagine others will have overheard sufficient to comprehend.’
‘For goodness’ sake...’ Tati groaned in embarrassment.
‘Why? It’s not as though it is something that you could keep a secret for much longer.’ Saif subjected her to a long intense appraisal. ‘You’re carrying my child. That is very big news in Alharia so we could not hope to keep it to ourselves. I very much doubt that you currently appreciate how much this development will impact our situation, which is naturally why I tried to ensure that it didn’t occur.’
Tati stood up and lifted her head high, rumpled blond hair rippling round her shoulders, blue eyes mutinous. ‘Oh, do stop talking in that deadly tone, as though it’s the end of the world. It’s a baby...and I love babies! I mean, we didn’t plan this, and I know you like to plan stuff in advance, but how much difference can one little baby make to our situation, as you call it?’