“Seriously?” he said with a deep laugh. “That’s perfect.”
“Oh yeah. It was amazing. It was like the roles were reversed. Only instead of me picking on him, it was most of the school,” I recalled. “Some of the guys would even blubber and cry when they walked by him.”
“That part surprised me too,” Brett said. “I mean, I went to the guy just trying to get him to chill out and leave you alone. But then he puffed up on me and threw a punch like he was some sort of badass. Once I hit him back a couple of times he was more than ready to apologize to you.” He shrugged. “The look on your face was priceless though and I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.”
I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. “I didn’t know what to think. Here was this big, popular football player on his knees in front of me. When he started begging for my forgiveness, I seriously started wondering if I was in a dream. Hell, just seeing you show up like that was surprising enough.” In my mind I could still see the younger version of Brett walking into the common area. When our eyes locked, I had known what he was there to do which was the very thing he’d vowed the night before to do. It had been such a shock that I’d been rooted in place. “I always meant to thank you for that.”
He shrugged. “It was nothing.”
“No, it was definitely something. I didn’t have very many days left at that school, but the few I did have were the best ever. I tried to come over before we moved but they said you weren’t home.” I had sworn his bedroom light was on when I had walked up to his house. But when I walked away, it was off. I always wondered if he had actually been there.
“You’re welcome. I’m sorry I didn’t do it sooner,” he said with a gentle look. I could see the fondness he felt for me in his eyes and I shifted in my seat before looking away. “So what happened after you moved?” he asked.
“We all moved to San Jose,” I explained. “It was pretty tough at first. None of us were even close to happy and honestly we were all a bit shell shocked. Not that San Jose is a slum or anything, but it was still a whole different lifestyle than Beverly Hills, you know?”
“I’m sure,” he said sympathetically. “So what exactly happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”
I knew he had to have heard the rumors. We weren’t deaf to what had been said about us after we lost it all, so I appreciated that he wanted to hear the real story. “The short version is simply that my dad made a series of choices that ended up being bad ones. The toughest part was the fact that it really was his fault. I mean, we don’t blame him. He was doing the best he could with the information he had at the time. Things happen. He thought for sure that DVDs would be a lasting thing. He was wrong. There was also some backer that was supposed to come through for him that didn’t. You know how it can be sometimes. Just a series of dominoes that are all lined up and when one tumbles down, so do the rest.”
“You have no idea how many times I just sat and wondered where you were. Sometimes I imagined I would run into you somewhere and we’d get to catch up,” he mused. He looked wistful almost as he recalled a different time.
“I guess it finally happened,” I said with a smile. “Things are getting better now though,” I said quickly. “Dad was really depressed for a long time. He had trouble finding a job and when he did he struggled to keep it. He would go from sad to angry in the blink of an eye. Not at us, but at himself. For quite a while it was up to my mom and I to really take care of everything and keep a roof over our heads. I had a lot of terrible jobs through the years. But things are a lot better than they were. Dad has even started his own small business and seems to be doing okay so far.”
“That’s great,” he said happily. “I don’t think small businesses get nearly enough credit. I’ve always admired those that really put themselves out there and stick to it until they make it happen.”
“It frustrates me, honestly,” I admitted. “I would rather he had something a lot more stable at this point. We never know just how much he might bring home in a month, so things can still get pretty tight. If he could just have a steady paycheck or something there would be a huge load lifted from my mom's shoulders. It’s just selfish.”
“You think?” Brett said, sounding surprised. “I don’t really see it that way.”
“How can you not?” I asked somewhat defensively. “If he would just give up this crazy dream of his, maybe we could move on. Have a more stable lifestyle again. I just want my mom to not have to worry about the bills every month.”
“But maybe that’s what he’s trying to do,” he pointed out. “Maybe he dreams of taking your mom back to Beverly Hills again. Being able to pay for anything she or his daughters want. Maybe his dream is to just see you all happy?”
I hadn’t thought about it that way and it surprised me. Could that really be what was happening? My dad had always seemed to get the most depressed when we needed something and he couldn’t get it for us. Was it all because he felt like he failed as the head of the household? I shook my head and sighed. “It doesn’t really matter what his motivation is. He’s not the end of all of my troubles anyway.”
“What else is bothering you, Leslie?” he asked as he leaned closer.
“Oh, I’ve just managed to get myself a new bully now, that’s all. Only you can’t beat this one up.”
“This guy better be a whole lot bigger and badder than me for me to not try,” he said as he pushed his chest out. “And don’t think I won’t.”
I couldn’t help but giggle. “No, it’s my little sister Aimee.”
“Your sister is your new bully?” he asked surprised. “What’s up with that?”
“She’s a vicious little troll, that’s what’s up with that,” I sighed. How could I describe the level of animosity my sister felt towards me? It seemed utterly indescribable. “She looks for any and every reason to make fun of me. Nothing I do is good enough and she delights in making sure I know. According to her, my hair is stringy, my eyes are droopy. I’m too skinny. Let’s see, I’m a failure and a dropout since I didn’t finish college. And she compares my job to being more useless than a model. So that tells you just how delightful she is to be around.” I didn't want to sound too pathetic for letting my little sister pick on me, but I was starting to feel as though maybe she was right. Every choice I made always seemed to be the wrong one, no matter how hard I tried.
“How can you let her talk to you that way?” Brett asked, genuinely concerned. “Don’t your parents at least say something?”
I nodded. “Yeah, they do. But that doesn’t stop her. She still just keeps running her mouth, especially when they aren’t around. One of these days, she’ll grow up. At least that’s what I’ve been hoping. I mean, she’s a typical teenager, you know? Always angry at the world. But sometimes I wish I could just pop her in her mouth. Just once. Maybe then she would shut up for a little while.”
“I mean, it’s a method that’s been proven to be effective on other bullies before,” he said with a grin. “Although I am not so sure your parents would approve.”
“I know,” I sighed. “But a girl can dream, can’t she?”
“That she can,” he agreed. “You’re allowed to dream as much and as big as you would like.” He sat there quietly, staring at me. I smiled and lowered my eyes to the couch cushion that was between us. “What do you dream about, Leslie?” he asked softly.
I wanted to tell him how I used to dream he would come to San Jose and find me. Knock on my door and then tell me he was there to come take me away. That we could go anywhere I wanted, he didn’t care as long as he was with me. That particular fantasy had helped me though many nights when I couldn’t fall asleep. I would lay in bed, close my eyes and imagine him coming to take me away. Far away. Somewhere that I didn’t have to worry about bills, groceries, insurance. Where I didn’t have to help make choices between paying the utilities or eating.
Once I imagined we went to the Caribbean and he took me swimming with the stingrays. Another we
flew to Paris and he told me how he had always been madly in love with me while we stood at the Eiffel Tower. A chill ran through me as I realized that once I had even daydreamed about him whisking me off to London so we could stay in a fancy hotel and take in the sights. That one hit just a little too close to the reality I was currently experiencing. I stood from the couch and wandered over to the window. I didn’t want him to see me feeling flustered.
“Honestly, I haven’t really allowed myself to dream for a long time,” I confessed. Which was also true. After I realized that Brett wasn’t coming to save me, I stopped dreaming about a different life. It had only seemed to make me much more miserable throughout the day when I had to face the reality of my situation. Why torture myself with things that just weren’t in the cards?
The sun was starting to drop lower in the sky, shooting beams of light through the city as it sunk. I could see the tower of London in the distance along with Big Ben. The sky was a beautiful orange color and the wisps of clouds turned various shades as the sun slowly slipped down.
“Okay, so if you could have anything right now, what would it be? Who would you be?” He asked, still sitting on the couch.
“So like, if I were to find a genie in a lamp and he would grant me three wishes?” I asked, not turning around. Instead I watched a couple of puffy clouds slowly slide across the sky, shifting in shape as they went. One moment it looked like a dog, then a turtle. I knew I was distracting myself from his question but I couldn’t help it.
“Yeah, that works,” he said. “If you could have three wishes, what would they be?”
I had to think about that. What would I want if I had three wishes? The first thing that popped into my mind was Brett on one knee down in front of me, but I shook it away. First, I couldn’t tell him that. Second, we would never work, anyway. He was too reckless and carefree. I needed a man in my life that wouldn’t take risks. He would be stable and safe. Have a good job with a solid income. Maybe a lawyer or a doctor. Anything else left me feeling nervous and scared. Like my world just might fall completely apart.
“I’d really like to be a successful interior decorator,” I began. “Have my own office with high end clients that completely trusted me with everything. Basically I’d like to have a lot of artistic freedom along with an unlimited budget,” I grinned as I turned around and looked at him.
“So you want a bunch of people like me to work for, got it,” he said with a wink. “What else?”
“I would really like to not worry about my parents. So maybe let them have some financial security or something. Maybe Dad’s business could take off. I don’t know. Something where I didn’t have to worry about how they are going to pay their bills so I could worry about myself for once.” The truth was, though, I wasn’t sure if I would ever not worry. Not with the way things were, at least for now. And it didn’t seem like that would change anytime soon. As long as my dad was trying to get a business going, I felt like I would always worry.
“Okay, I can see that. So what would your last wish be? Don’t you have something that you want that’s just a tiny bit greedy?” he asked. “Something special that would be just for you?”
Once again his face came to mind. I wanted to say it. Wanted to say that if I could pick anything it would be him in a responsible and mature version. But I simply couldn’t. Besides, what good would that do? I was certain he didn’t feel the same way I did. He may say things that sounded sweet and loving but he was known as a playboy and that’s what those kinds of guys did. They told you whatever it was you wanted to hear.
“Not really,” I finally said. “I guess I would just wish for world peace or something. Maybe an end to global warming. You know, that sort of thing.”
“You are too good of a person,” he said shaking his head and standing. He stretched and his shirt lifted slightly, showing me those sexy muscles on his hips that drove women wild. “I hope the pizza gets here soon, I’m starting to get really hungry.” He dropped his arms back down and sighed. “I’ll be right back, I have to use the restroom.”
I nodded and watched him as he headed for the bedroom. The idea that we were both staying in hotel rooms big and nice enough to have multiple rooms still just blew me away. How much did my room cost? Did I even want to know? I wished I had the money he was spending on the room so that I could send it to my family instead. I’d be more than willing to stay at a budget hotel in the meantime. I’d certainly feel much more at ease. I wasn’t sure exactly why it was bothering me so much. Maybe because I now saw this sort of lifestyle as wasteful and fleeting. Of course, Brett’s family had probably doubled their money in the time since mine went bankrupt. Now anyone that followed the tabloids knew who they were. Probably in part due to Bretts wild side through the years.
That thought made me realize there were probably girls out there with his pictures taped to their wall. It seemed crazy to think that they would kill to be in my shoes and yet here I was, pushing him away. Yet as soon as I thought it, I questioned it. Was I really pushing him away? Or was I just maintaining a safe distance? Because to a certain degree, I had counted on him before and he’d let me down. I’d hoped for him to come and save me. I had replayed that kiss we shared all those years ago over and over in my mind. Imagining what would have happened if we hadn’t stopped when we did. If my parents hadn’t suddenly had to give up our house and move away, leaving him and everything we owned behind. Whenever I’d seen his picture and he was with another woman, I’d try to imagine myself in her shoes. Could I make him happy? Most of the time I would just end up comparing myself to her and I would end up feeling bad about myself. They would be leggy and beautiful. The stereotype of Hollywood beauty. Everything that I wasn’t.
I wanted to ask him how things went for him and his family but I remembered how badly things were at his house. I’d also seen more than my fair share of stories in the gossip magazines. Of course, some of those were probably just that, stories, but often there was a grain of truth to them. I knew his father wasn’t the most faithful man and it put a strain on the family. He seemed to almost flaunt the fact these days and so many articles would speculate why his mother put up with it. Then all that time that Brett was running around, practically living at the hottest clubs in town. There were rumors of overdoses and possible time in rehab. None of that could have been a pleasant time for him.
I heard the bathroom door open so I quickly turned back around to look out of the window and across London. I didn’t want him to see my longing because I was sure it was written all over my face. I just needed to keep it together for this week. That was my first goal. I would worry about the future when it came. For now, I needed to do this job for him and then let him go on his way. I’d enjoy the time while we were together but after that, I would do my best to forget that I’d ever known Brett Jackson.
Chapter 9
Brett
As I came back from the bathroom and saw Leslie still standing at the window, I was struck by her beauty once again. She was always stunning but now that she had grown up into this beautiful woman, I felt as though I wasn’t able to keep my eyes off of her. With the way the city lights were shining on her, it was as if she were a goddess standing before me. I had to shake myself just so I could find the ability to speak again.
“I’m sorry if it feels like I’m drilling you with all of these questions,” I said as I returned. “I don’t mean to come off as nosey or anything. I have always just been curious as to what happened to you and your family after you left. It was kind of a shock when you all were gone.”
“No, I get it,” she said easily, slightly turning away from the window. “I wondered about your family too.”
“Feel free to ask away,” I said with a shrug. “Whatever you want to know.”
“Well, I know some of it,” she admitted. “I mean, I do go to the store and see some of the magazines. It’s kind of hard not to see them sometimes. Don’t even get me started on the internet.”
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��Yeah, I know,” I sighed. Sometimes it was a total pain in the rear being rich and living in Beverly Hills. Everyone wanted to know everyone else's business and had absolutely no trouble spreading the gossip around like butter on toast. Granted, the magazines and tabloids seemed to have padded our bank accounts quite a bit more, but for the most part I would give all the money back if we could just have some privacy. It was entirely too stressful driving around town and having people taking pictures of you only to see them make up a story. Or what was worse was when they didn’t make it up. It was one thing to have your family plastered all over websites and magazines when it was just a made-up story. It was quite another to see a photo of your father with his mistress everywhere you looked. I was glad that they had stopped seeing me as a story when I finally cleaned up and started keeping to myself. When there is no story, they tend to look for someone else to write about.
“You’ve seen those, huh?” I asked, embarrassed. I hated that she had to see them.
“Unfortunately,” she said, grimacing. “I’m sorry those vultures put your family’s business out there like that. It’s terrible.”
A knock at the door distracted me from our conversation. Heading to the door, I saw it was the pizza. Pulling open the door, I smiled. I was ready to pair the conversation with some food. After taking the pizza from him and paying, I was soon shutting the door.
“That smells amazing,” she said as I brought it in and sat it down on the table.
“I know. I feel like my mouth is watering just thinking about it,” I said as I flipped open the lid. The pizza looked like something from a commercial and soon we were both grabbing a slice.
“So if you saw the tabloids, I’m sure you saw me in them,” I began. There was no way she didn’t. It seemed as though I was a topic for a couple of years at least, if not longer.
“Yeah, I saw them,” she said in between bites. “For the most part I was hoping they were making a big deal out of nothing.”
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