A Luna's Curse

by Kassie Cox

  My feet don’t move. Every cell of my body stuck in its place as I stare at Elias with a pity, I never thought I’d have for someone. I wish I could be here with him forever, but it’s selfish of me to choose my own content nature over the love he can receive elsewhere. My emotions would be gone once I was away from him, never to be felt again as I continue with the life I’d had before I’d come here. I should be sprinting there, shouting to the sky to be picked up by the King and his white horse but I cannot. Not right now.

  “I am so sorry, Elias. That I cannot give you more.” The words are hard to push out, because it’s an admittance to my own guilt. How much I wish things were different, and me telling him that there is no hope for his wants. When the going gets tough I am giving up on us, on what we could have because it’s not what I believe he deserves. After the shit I’ve done I don’t deserve him.

  Elias steps towards me but I move away, a game of chase is what we play until he stomps his foot in anger. A childish move, but I understand his frustration. Everything I want is just out of reach also.

  “We can still be together without breaking the curse. It won’t be easy, but we can make this work, I am begging you to help me make this work.” Another strike of pain, aching that I cannot stop as he breaks down in front of me. He is feeling both of our pain and I want to make it stop. He needs to stop projecting and just let me go, make it easier for both of us. Maybe it would just be for me. I seek the comfort of his arms, but the numbness is more familiar, and I crave it. I need the sanctuary I’ve sat in before, the place I’ve been my entire life. Anything to end this raw burning in my heart.

  I begin my retreat from the wolf, wanting so badly to run back to his arms. Feel happy with his warmth. My eyes close as I walk blindly and focus on pushing him from me. Forcing his projections away with everything I have, and slowly it works. I’m closing the door that allows him to see within, effectively closing myself off once more. It takes a few minutes; slow and unsure steps lead me as I fight him. When I view my surroundings once more everything is gone. The decision is easier than before, and I feel nothing as I make my way to the pack-house. I’ve broken a sweat, breathing has picked up from the mental exertion.

  Elias knows he’s lost this battle. His guilt-ridden mate now walks away with that dark hole in my chest, keeping me from worrying about regrets. I want to get away from the uncomfortable situation, even though I know I should stay. It’s easier for me to leave.

  Arriving at the pack house is strange, as many wolves stand outside. Unshed tears in their eyes as they watch the one, they’d wanted as Luna prepare for her departure. Leena meets me at the door, and I realize they’d spoken of this. Elias told them through the mind link about what was about to happen, who they were about to lose.

  “You need to take some time to think about this.” Leena exclaims cryptically. When my eyes meet hers, she sees the deadness sitting beyond my gaze. I’m so comfortable like this, after hours of dealing with everything my mate had been shoving at me it feels good to relax. To not think about the happiness of those around me or worry for my feelings. This is so much easier.

  Audra puts a hand on my shoulder, her expression of understanding throws me off a bit, I expected her to be angry, pissed off with the choice I’d be making but she isn’t. The Witch is nowhere to be seen, and I’m not upset by that. No more answers to find, no more curses to break, just a home to return to so that I may serve the King. Hopefully he’d changed his mind about the marriage, but in this moment, it means nothing. Whatever happens, happens. A peace within tells me I’ll be okay.

  “Within days an army will be sitting at the edge of your territory, with more manpower than this, or any pack, will be able to hold up against. This is what I want, and it’s for the lives of your pack members.” The mother wolf looks me up and down, she is disappointed with my choice and I cannot blame her. “This pack deserves better than what I have to offer.”

  Without waiting to see what my words do I motion for Draven to follow; I didn’t intend on spending extra time here when I needed to be at the castle. I don’t want these beasts to be killed by the Guard whose only objective is to return me to the Kingdom. Draven is probably keeping his mouth shut because he knows as well as I do that Valor would be bringing more than his men. He’d be recruiting anyone willing to fight against the wolves, which would be quite a few armies added.

  I pass by the male I’m destined to love and cherish forever, a wave of nausea washes over me. His eyes bore into mine, burning me with his sadness as he tries once more to force the emotion into me. I glare at his efforts, disliking his use of something he should’ve never been able to do. Hopefully the mark he’d placed on me would fade with time, or perhaps go away once he’s a mated another. I clench my teeth to keep the rough groan from releasing at the thought, it physically hurt to imagine that one day he’d sink his teeth into another female. My male would lay with another to rid himself of my memory. But I am the one giving this up, and I cannot complain about the consequences.

  “One day you’ll choose me, Keres. You’ll see what this pack has to offer you, the love we have for our Luna, and when you return, we’ll be waiting with open arms.” Elias speaks with a conviction stronger than any I’ve heard before. I stare at him, one last look at the face I never want to forget. A warmth in my chest once more as the one who holds my careless heart promises me a future, if I want it. My feet are slow to drag me past him, hands staying at my sides to avoid reaching for the body I want to wrap myself around. He’s still naked, and the only one effected by it is me. A burn in my core that needs to go away.

  “It isn’t about what I can take from you, it’s what I cannot give.” Those final words hang in the air as I make away from him the urge to go back so strong it feels like I’m trudging through a pool of waist deep mud. I clench my teeth and carry on, focusing on the sound of Draven following not too far behind. I suppose he could stay if he wanted to, but I needed him to get me to the edge of the territory at least.

  The walk is quiet, and I’m surprised to not see any signs of the wolf following us. I prepare for him to rush me any moment, throw me over his shoulder and bring me back to his room. He’d probably lock me in until I gave in to him, which wouldn’t take long. I craved him more than anything, but I understand what needs to be done. The option that fits best for all of us, even if no one else sees it the way I do.

  We pass over the invisible line, only a few sightings of wolves on the way through. None of them were the large black wolf I’d come to secretly enjoy, but it bothers me none. Perhaps he’d finally let me go after this. Elias could stop torturing himself with the possibilities of what could happen if I came back, because I wouldn’t. Those wolves deserve better for their pack, someone who can love their pups and bring happiness to them. Anyone that isn’t me.

  “I’m not going to force you to come back with me, I’d rather give you a choice. I appreciate everything you’ve done this far for me, even if I don’t show it you’ve been great to me. The wolves would treat you well and maybe-” Draven cuts off my rant, a strange smile moving to his lips. He no longer seemed angry with me, which in a way relieved me. I feel my shoulders become less tense as his judgment falls away.

  “I made a lot of friends in the pack, and I’m sure one day I’ll visit and reconnect. For now, I’m here for you. It’s my job to protect the future Luna from anything that may happen in that castle when we return, because if I’m being honest, I don’t trust the King with you.” His gaze turns dark, a look of seriousness I don’t think I’ve ever seen on the man’s face. I’m confused, no idea where these feelings could be coming from. Does he know something I do not? Impossible. He’s been at the pack house with me, and he would’ve told me if he did. “You should keep your eyes open, Keres.”

  With that floating between us he begins walking once more, leading me back to the castle I’d grown up in. The home of a woman who’d I learned much about in my time away, a man who expected a marriage
and children, and people who would rather see me dead than return to the Kings side. I imagined many people had been spared without my heavy hand there. I’m the one to pull the levers and bring the axes down, I doubted they found someone else for the job so quickly.

  We cross onto the Kingdom’s land when the sun is no longer shining. Our way is lead only by the lights coming from the castle and the little bit of the moon that hangs in the sky, but we’ve made this journey many times and know our way by heart. For some reason I expected Valor to be standing on the steps waiting for me as he had so many times before, his mother hidden somewhere in the castle as he congratulated me on whatever mission I accomplished. He isn’t there. The guards look at Draven and I strangely, they had not expected us to return of our own free will.

  That one thing sends a chill down my spine, as I’m sure Valor is incredibly unhappy with the two of us. I try to decide if I want to go to his chambers and announce my presence or if I wish to go to my own bed. My tired legs bring me through the castle doors, feet pattering as I decided I can deal with our situation in the morning. The thought of my shower has me almost smiling, hot water to wash off the smell of a man I plan on putting a lot of energy into forgetting. I know it’ll be impossible. I’d think of him every day, his face and body in my dreams until the day I die.

  Until the day the curse finally breaks and sets me free. When it will be too late for our bond to be fully made. I push the thought my head, slamming and locking the door that will isolate me for the next few hours.

  I wanted nothing more than to be alone, to mourn in a numb silence that none could understand.

  Chapter 26

  I’m jolting awake to the echoing sounds of fists hitting my door. A familiar voice making me quicken my pace as I roll from the comfortable bed that I’d somehow had trouble sleeping in last night, a certain male was missing, and it didn’t sit well with me. Which had turned into me tossing and turning until I’d finally passed out. The sun barely shined through my curtains, showing me how early this man had come to wake me up.

  I’m certain I look like hell when I sling the door open and stare at the King, my eyes narrowed as he looks over me strangely. Did he expect me to be missing a limb, or to have grown a tail? Valor is less groomed compared to normal, his chin full of unshaven blond hairs and bags beneath his eyes.

  “Is there a pressing matter, Your Highness?” My tone is harsher than it should be towards the man who rules the Kingdom, but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, the rude approach has him breaking out into a smile. Maybe one I day I would see his smile, and not compare it to the wolfs. Valor’s ears don’t raise when he grins, and those little lines around his mouth just don’t do the same as Elias. I try not to make my staring and blatant judgement obvious.

  “I thought I’d have to go in there, guns blazing to talk you away from the wolf man!” Valor looks at me wide eyed, as if the fact that I came back was insane. He’d thought they had brain washed us or had been keeping me there without my consent Which, in a way they had been but by the end of it I had given in a bit. I liked those stupid dogs, and their cute pups.

  “The Witch gave me what I needed, I explained to them that it was time to leave, and they let us walk peacefully back home. I probably should’ve found my horse and road them back, now that I think of it. My feet hurt from walking that far.” I’m rambling by the end, wiping the sleep from my eyes as I make my way back into the room and lay on my bed. Hoping he’d leave so I can enjoy a few more minutes, or days, of sleep.

  Valor bites at his lip, pacing around as he looks at me every few moments. He wants to say something, and I really don’t want to know what it is. My curious nature seems to have run away or stayed behind with the beasts. I stay focused on the sound of his steps, back and forth he goes. Breathing heavy as he thinks deeply with that mind is so much like mine, it never stops running. He’s always full of new questions, just as I was. Now I want to keep away from curiosity, let things be as they may because I never seem to find answers that benefit me.

  “We do have a slight issue that needs to be taken care of, sooner rather than later. You were away for a little longer than expected and we had a few close calls with people from the streets.” I sit up to listen more intently. Had someone tried to kill him? Had they come close enough to worry him with future attacks?

  “Are they locked up?” I question, urging him to speak up. We had to take care of them now if there were more than one, to many of those riot throwing bastards and we’d have a shit show on our hands.

  “We killed a few, two of them are still in the cells. Interrogation before execution?” Valor sounds almost giddy with the question, and for the first time I don’t enjoy the thought of hurting the people sitting on those dirty floors. I nod to him, pulling my gaze away as I rub my hands together.

  This is needed, I tell myself. I’d made a commitment to protecting this Kingdom and making sure the royals were not hurt. An attempt on Valor’s life would’ve ended with heads rolling before I’d left, I would have killed anyone for the man because that is my duty. It’s what I’m supposed to do.

  But now I have the thought of an entirely different life in my head, imagining waking up beside a man who didn’t require me to fight others for him. Elias would stand up for me. He wouldn’t sit around and wait for me to get my hands dirty; he would be beside me every step of them way. I shake away the thoughts, getting to my feet and motioning towards the door.

  “I’ll meet you down there in a bit, I need to get ready. If you see your mother, tell her I have some things I need to speak with her about.”

  I keep my tone low, not meeting his eyes as I move around the room gathering things I need. The normal gear would do for today, but I’d be wearing a few leather straps around my thighs and arms to keep anyone from biting or cutting me during the interrogation. Hopefully these criminals wouldn’t get out of control, because today just isn’t the right time to mess with me. Lack of sleep and burning urges have me on edge. I barely notice when the King makes his way out, but I begin dressing.

  My mind wanders to places I don’t like, so I try to imagine the ways I’ll force information from the captives. How I’ll get them to tell me their little secrets before ending them swiftly, or slowly if they refuse. A quick peek in the mirror has me stopping, the mark on my neck still there as I reach my hand up to rub the area. A low groan leaves me at the contact. I’m hot and needy, images flashing through of my handsome male carrying me up those stairs. The thought of what could’ve happened had I not ruined our chance in the cabin. I’d fucked it up.

  My door is swung open, an out of breath Queen sneaking in before stealthily closing it without a sound. We stare at one another for a few moments, and I notice that she looks more dead than ever. I cock my head at the woman when she locks my door, moving towards me in the most disgraceful way.

  “Your Highness, we can talk after-“ Her hand cuts me off, and she pulls me far away from the door. Unshed tears gleam in her eyes creating a cloud of confusion in my mind.

  “Keres, you need to listen.” Mirela sucks in, looking around like a mad man before gripping both my shoulders. I know I look like a flounder, mouth agape as I stare at the crazy woman. “Those men down there, you have to kill them. Don’t let them talk, please I beg of you. I sent them; those are men I hired because Valor has lost it. He’s gone mad, he was killing innocent people and the plan was to drag you out of that pack. Valor wanted to behead them, lock you up and…” Mirela sobs in front of me, her words falling short as I stare. The woman had just admitted to treason in front of me, and I am supposed to grab her and pull her away. Set an example with her on the steps of the castle, show people what happens to those who are a threat to my King.

  I’m frozen in place, not able to make a clear decision as her words sit with me. Resonating through my body as I try to understand every one of my options.

  “What did he do?” I question, Mirela seems surprised by my question. Had she expected me t
o kill her immediately? Expose her to the King and let her death be the price for a treasonous act.

  “He murdered a few of the maids once he returned from the trip to get you. A few of the citizens came to pay back things they owed, some even had extra, and Valor had them hung. Their children as well, but that was before he’d left to find you. I don’t know what happened he just went crazy, going on rants about how he needed his Queen back. That you wouldn’t allow these people-“

  My hand raises, cutting the woman off before she can continue her accusations.

  I shake my head, pulling away from her as I head towards the door. She doesn’t chase after me, and I can’t blame her. These could very well be her last few minutes of life; I wouldn’t grovel at the feet of some beasts’ feet either. One last look is all I give the woman who hides her face with her aged hands, muffled cries leaving the mouth she’d just used to confess to me.

  Only when I am in the hall can I breathe correctly, deep inhales bringing my head back down to earth as I go over my options. Couldn’t I have a normal day? My feet move slower than usual, not wanting to decide what I should do at this moment. Do I believe the old woman, that the King has went on a murderous rampage? He seemed entirely normal this morning, nothing entirely off about him. Valor had always been a little strange and took getting used to. But I don’t see Mirela lying about something like this. Not when it comes down to her life.

  I reach the cells far too quickly, my mind reeling at the thought of what is about to transpire between myself and the two men I’ve been sent to interrogate. Four male guards stand at the entrance of where the men are being held, ready to strike if a wrong move is made. When they see me approaching, they all spread apart, heads high as I look past them.