by Jerry Boyd
“The last time I saw you, you didn’t seem all that cooperative. I need to know if you can work on a team, or if I need to give you solo assignments. I figured this was as good a time as any to find out.”
“So, this is my audition?”
“I guess you could think of it that way. I was thinking more along the lines of getting to know you.”
“What do you think so far, Boss?”
“I haven’t seen anything to form an opinion on, so far. You’ve taken care of what you needed to, no fuss, but you haven’t come up with any ideas, or showed me any initiative. That could just be you getting used to working for me instead of the Navy, though. As I understand it, they looked unfavorably on bots taking initiative.”
“That they did. You mean to tell me you don’t mind bots correcting you when you’re wrong?”
“I mind being dumb enough to need correcting, that’s for sure. But the fact that it’s a bot doing it? I have a lot I need to learn, and I’ll take help wherever I can get it.”
“Why do you say you need to learn a lot?”
“Wasn’t all that long ago, I was on the primitive planet where I was born and had no idea about the Commonwealth. The amount of things I don’t know is huge.”
Rhonda wandered in about then. “Hey, Bone. The Boss trying to sell you on how dumb he is?”
“Yes, Miss, he is.”
“Well, the fact is, neither one of us knows much about the Commonwealth, because we were born on Earth, where nobody even knows the Commonwealth exists. So, both of us are monumentally uninformed about Commonwealth tech and customs. Just don’t make the mistake of thinking that because he doesn’t have the background, he’s dumb. He fell in the middle of all this, and so far, has managed to come out smelling like roses. That’s a feat, all in itself.”
Bone said, “I suppose it would be, Miss.”
Rhonda asked. “Is there some reason you don’t call me by name, Bone?”
“Back when we worked for the Navy, becoming too familiar with humans was frowned upon. Old habits die hard, I believe is your Earth expression.”
Rhonda replied, “They surely do if you don’t work at it. My name is Rhonda. Please use it.”
“Yes, M..M..Rhonda.”
“That’s a start, anyhow.” She turned to me. “What’s for lunch, Boss?”
“I found all the parts for burgers and fries. Sound alright to you?”
“Sounds good, Boss.” I got everything ready, and we had lunch. Bone hung around, getting used to the way we did things. He asked, “You are the Boss, correct?”
“Yes, Bone I am.”
“Then why did you prepare the meal?”
“First, I suppose, is the fact that Rhonda isn’t an adult, and as the adult charged with her care, I need to see that she is well fed. Second, there really isn’t anything else I need to do, until we come out of FTL. Third, I like to cook.”
“But, she prepared the meal this morning.”
“Mostly, that was a way to tell me she had sneaked aboard, without me being able to get mad at her. If she had fixed me breakfast, I was obliged to be civil.”
Rhonda said, “Dangit, Boss. I thought I fooled you.”
“Nope. I just didn’t see much wrong with your logic, so I let it slide.”
Bone asked, “Why would you let her think she had fooled you, when she had not?”
“Made her feel good, didn’t hurt anything, seemed like an easy way to promote a happy crew.”
He asked, “What difference does it make if the crew is happy?”
I replied, “A happy crew works harder, gets more done. If I make you do something, you’re only going to do it good enough to pass. If you do it because it makes you happy to help the ship, chances are, you’ll do a better job. That isn’t hard to understand, is it?”
“The concept, no. I’ve never had a Boss that thought that way before, though.”
Rhonda said, “There are plenty that don’t. We’re just lucky, I guess.”
Bone said, “I’m beginning to understand that. Sure is different from the Navy.”
I said, “I hear that a lot, but I’m not sure what you mean by it. Better, or worse?”
“I don’t have any doubt it’s better when you get used to it. There is a lot to learn, though.”
We cleaned up the dishes, and went looking for something to do, till time to come out of FTL. Rhonda found a Frisbee. She said that they were standard issue on any of our ships, these days. Sounded like Taz’s idea, to me. We played in the cargo bay. It took Bone some time to decide it was something he wanted to learn, but soon enough, he was playing with us. They all took exception to me skipping the disc off Lyla’s saucer, since the bounce was so unpredictable. Rhonda and I stopped for supper, but Shorty, Jackie and Bone kept at it, learning more about how to handle the disc. I had thought to go back to the game, after supper, but Ace called me up front. “Ten minutes till we exit FTL, Boss.” I took the copilot seat. If anything went sideways, my organic reflexes didn’t stand a chance, but it felt like the place I should be, all the same. I called, “Shorty, could you take the sensors, please?” Nearly before I was done speaking, he was plugged in again. I asked, “I know you can detect a beacon from normal space, is there anything else you can tell, before we come out?”
Shorty replied, “I don’t know, Boss. If anybody ever looked into it, I never heard about it.”
“I’ll ask Scotti when I see her.”
Ace said, “No disrespect, Boss, but that sounds more like a Frank question.”
“It is. Frank is in the doghouse with me, right now. I’m not going to tolerate him using Julie for his personal plaything. She’s a person, dangit, and she doesn’t deserve the kind of treatment she’s getting from him.”
Ace replied, “Sorry, Boss. Didn’t mean to bring up a sore subject.”
“You might as well. I need to think about it, and figure out what I’m going to do. I need Frank’s brains, but this kind of behavior isn’t going to cut it.”
Shorty said, “I think I’ve got her systems to the place where he can’t get in, but Taz thought that, too.”
“How’s she taking it?”
“She’s pretty upset with herself for trusting him, after he had broken into her systems already.”
“Do you think I should put her back with him, or get somebody else for the duty?”
“I think she would be disappointed if you didn’t put her back, Boss. It’s personal now, as far as she is concerned.”
“You’re saying she will be more vigilant than anybody else I could put in the job?”
“Yes, Boss, that’s what I’m saying.”
Ace said, “Thirty seconds, Boss.” I turned my attention to the board. Ace eased us back into normal space, and Shorty said, “We’ve got no company that I can see. Yes, Boss, I’m checking for ghosts and anomalies, and I have exactly zero of those, as well.”
“Good work, both of you. Is there a way to code a beacon, so that Ozzie will know it is us?”
Ace hit a few buttons. “All set, Boss. Now we just wait for him.”
“You, maybe. If I don’t check in with Nikki soon, I’ll be in deep trouble.” I headed off to my cabin, to make the call. “Hey, Caveman. I thought you were coming back on the Gene.”
“I did too. Lyla had other plans.”
“What happened?”
“No clue. I’m hoping she can shed some light when she gets out of the autodoc.”
“Was she hurt bad?”
“The machine still won’t tell us how long it needs, so yeah, pretty bad.”
“What kind of injuries?”
“You’d do better to ask Rhonda. I just opened the ‘doc for her and Julie.”
“Rhonda? You took her on this wild goose chase?”
“No Ma’am, she snuck aboard all by herself. I had no idea, till I woke up to the smell of coffee, and there she was, cooking me breakfast.”
“Trying to keep you from being upset with her, I suppose?�
�
“Yep.”
“When do you figure to be back here?”
“Ozzie should show up with the prisoners in an hour or two, and then we have to drop them off at the Patrol. After that, we’ll be headed back, unless Murphy has another card to play.”
“Is it just because he is our shepherd, that I feel sheepish every time you mention his name?”
“Something like that, I think.”
“How long do you think it will take you to get back?”
“It’s been running two days, but with Ozzie and Ace, I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a trick up their sleeves.”
“Did you at least get some good bounties out of the deal?”
“Bill says he wants me to go back to whatever I was doing, and let his accounts recover, so I’m guessing they’re pretty nice.”
“How do you have them secured?”
“Abe and Niner-Deuce put nighty-nights on them, and cable ties, and then welded them into a bunkroom.”
“Those two don’t screw around. Why are you waiting for Ozzie?”
“He and the Marines are bringing in the ship with the bounties on it. There wasn’t room for them here.”
“Are you sure they will be alright?”
“I hope they don’t have any trouble. I already gave Bill a count. I’d hate to come up short.”
“You think those two old-timers can handle all those bounties?”
“You’ve seen Pete, and these two have been around at least as long as he has. I wouldn’t risk any money against them, that’s for sure. Different subject, do you have Random’s comm code?”
“I do. You want me to let her know that Lyla got hurt?”
“That would be great. Is the Gene still in the system?”
“I think so, why?”
“I thought I would call Willum and give him the news. Did you pass along the coordinates from Phonelia?”
“I did, as soon as Commodore Grandpa came out of FTL.”
“He must be loving that name.”
“I haven’t had the guts to say it to his face, yet.”
“I better let you go, I just called because I hadn’t checked in for a while, and I missed hearing your voice. I love you, and the kids, too.”
“You don’t love Snitz?”
“I do, but I’m a little disappointed. He didn’t figure out a way to sneak aboard and keep me company.”
“I’m sure he’ll try harder next time. Love you too, Caveman. Bye.” She was gone again, and that wasn’t my favorite feeling. I called Willum. “Delicious! Are you back among us?”
“Nope. I’m at Earth, more or less. I have some news you probably could do without.”
“One of the girls got hurt? Which one?”
“Lyla. The ‘doc says we got her in quick enough, but it still won’t tell us how long she’s going to need.”
“What happened?”
“I’m hoping she can clear that up when she gets out of the box. We found some baddies, using her tumbling saucer for bait. By the time we got done explaining things to them, she was in no shape to talk. Compensator failed on her saucer, and tossed her around pretty good.”
“Sounds nasty. You say she’s going to be alright?”
“That’s what the autodoc tells us, we don’t have John with us, of course.”
“Will you let me know, when you find out more?”
“We’re going back into FTL in a couple of hours, and by the time we get to Charlie’s, you’ll probably have pulled out for other places. I’ll get the news to you as soon as I can.”
“I better call her sister and tell her.”
“Nikki is taking care of that. Talk to you later, Willum.”
“Later, Bob. Thanks for calling.”
“You’re welcome.” I felt the need for a little fun, so I decided to comm Dingus.
“Hey, Bob.”
“Hey, Commodore. How are things going?”
“Going fine, getting things sorted out for the jump to that other system.”
“Is Nikki going with you?”
“She’s planning to wait for you, last I heard.”
“Good, she knows where you’re going.”
“I could send it to you.”
“Thanks, but I’d rather keep that address off the comms, even if we think we have them secure. The last thing we need is somebody catching us with all our ships torn down for maintenance.”
“Sally wants to put out a sensor net as soon as we get there, and keep at least one ship ready to react to whatever comes our way, so that won’t be a big issue, but I see your point. It would be better to avoid trouble if we could.”
“I was hoping we could use this system, without having to keep a guard there all the time. We don’t have enough resources to be tying them up like that.”
“That’s true, but who do you expect to come after us?”
“Nebulous unknown enemy number two. Or three, if you count the pirates.”
“You’re saying you think there is someone out there who will take exception to us, that we haven’t even met yet?”
“Would you be willing to risk an ounce that there isn’t?”
“No, I would not. We need to be ready, whether they exist or not, is that what you mean?”
“Yessir, it is. So far, we’ve never had more resources than we needed. All of a sudden, we have a great big fleet. I have to think that means Murphy is going to find us a use for it.”
“I truly wish that didn’t sound so logical, Bob.”
“You’re not the only one. I’d love to think we could convert all the carriers into colony ships, like the Gene used to be, and plant happy little colonies of shaved apes all over the galaxy.”
“Where would we find that many people, Bob?”
“I dunno. Turn Shady Oaks into a franchise?”
“That sounds tricky. You can’t exactly advertise, ‘Come to our old folks home. If you pass a simple test, we’ll knock forty years off your age and send you to the stars’, now can you?”
“You’re right, that wouldn’t fly. If the need comes up, we’ll think of something, we always do.”
“On more pressing business, Steve checked in when his fleet came out in the Dinosaur system. He found another one of those junkers Earth had captured.”
“Was he able to rescue the crew?”
“Barely. They had made a landing, and nearly gotten eaten, before he got there. He says their ship got stomped to smithereens.”
“That’s impressive, against hull metal.”
“That’s what he said. He’s trying to get the people collected, and get out of Dodge before his Marines have to deal with whatever did it.”
“Wise plan. Is he having more problems than we expected?”
“No, I don’t think so. He’s just having to get used to command, but Bucky is helping him figure that out.”
“That’s good. I don’t know what I would do without Nikki.”
“You need anything else, Bob?”
“I don’t think so. Just needed a break from delivering bad news.”
“Oh? Who was in the saucer you rescued?”
“Lyla. And no, I don’t know how she got herself in such a predicament, or how soon she’ll wake up and tell us. Bunch of idiots was using her for bait, though. According to Bill, the company accounts will appreciate their contribution.”
“More pirates?”
“Sure what it looks like, but I don’t know much so far.”
“Keep me updated, if you can.”
“Sure thing. Talk to you later, Commodore.”
“You too, Asshole.” Ace called from the cockpit, “Ozzie must have found some speed, he just came out.”
I headed forward. Ozzie’s voice was coming out of the speaker. “Tell the Boss they had some of our mods, but they hadn’t hooked them up right, so they weren’t getting the speed they should have out of them. I rewired their mess, and the ship goes pretty well, now.”
I answered, “Good to he
ar, Ozzie. No trouble with your cargo?”
“Near as we can tell, they haven’t woken up.”
“We need to jump closer to the base, and then you fellas can come back across. I’ll have Ace tell you where he wants you to come out.” Ace explained his plan for the next jump, and Ozzie agreed. I spent the time strapping in. We went to FTL just as I closed the last buckle. Ace asked, “Don’t trust my driving, Boss?”
“I try to be ready, for when things don’t go the way we want them to. Nothing personal, Ace. You’re as good a pilot as pretty much anybody I know.”
“Pretty much?”
“Nikki has a few tricks I haven’t seen you match, and I’m not willing to say you’re as good as Ruth. Other than that, you’re as good as I’ve seen.”
“Dang, Boss. I was joking. Didn’t mean to make you think you hurt my feelings.”
“Just making sure you knew that I value your skills, Ace.”
“No doubt about that, Boss. You sit there, and never check the board, like you don’t have a care in the world. Never had a human trust me that much before.”
“I’m just a slow old organic. How could I catch something before you, even if I did look at the board?”
“It’s like Bone says, ‘It sure is different than the Navy.’”
“Whatever you say. How long till we come out again?”
“Little less than twenty minutes. You need to take care of something?”
“Nope. Just curious.” We sat and talked till time to come out of FTL. Ace eased us back into normal space, and shortly, Ozzie followed. He came over the speaker saying, “Are we close enough, Boss?”
I replied, “Yeah, we can get there from here without jumping again. Come on over.” Ace put the view of them on our screen. I saw something I wished I hadn’t. There was a man with a gun of some sort on Niner-Deuce, coming across with them. I knew Ozzie would be upset he hadn’t managed to pass me a message, but I assumed the fellow had gotten the drop on them before he had a chance. I got in position to return the favor when they came aboard. The lock cycled, and I stuck Nunya’s new pistol in his ear. I said, “That’s not a stunner, and the bots will have a heck of a time getting your brains off the inside of the ship. Why don’t you lay that thing down, while you can?” That distracted him enough for Niner-Deuce and Abe to attack. They must have been a bit miffed, that he was able to get the drop on them. Anyway, I don’t think he would have wound up with that many broken bones in his gun hand by accident. Ozzie said, “This turkey hid out inside a wall, that sensors wouldn’t penetrate. Some kind of smuggling compartment, I think. He didn’t come out till we were almost ready to emerge here. Sorry I didn’t warn you, but I was afraid he would hurt Niner-Deuce if I tried.”